


Howl

by DaniJayNel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bullying, F/F, HSAU, Slow Burn, starts out NaKuri, yumikuri, yumikuri endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-11 00:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 108,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7866871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniJayNel/pseuds/DaniJayNel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At 8, Ymir is bullied for her looks and her inability to speak English. She is a foreigner, and she is alone. She grows close to Krista, who then casts her aside like everyone else. Heartbroken, Ymir is transferred out of the school. 10 years later she returns for her last year of high school. How will her once bullies take to her now that she isn't a tiny, terrified kid anymore? Will she find it in her to forgive Krista?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Quick important note: Ymir is swedish in this fic. So naturally she speaks svenska. Everything on Sweden in this fic is taken off of google, including the bits of the language. If anything is hilariously innacurate or incorrect, shoot me a message with the correction! Other than that, do enjoy ^^

Ilse smiled over at her, though the action was strained and worried. “You will be fine,” she said in thickly accented English, and Ymir was so anxious that she struggled to translate. Ilse sighed, eyes softening. They parked just outside of Maria Primary, but that only made Ymir’s heart thud harder in her chest. Her breaths came in short, hard pants. Ilse placed a warm hand on her knee. “ _Du kommer klara dig fint_ ,” she repeated more gently, her smile crooked. She said no more, and the calm in her eyes eased Ymir’s nerves greatly.

“ _Tack_ ,” Ymir mumbled. _Thank you._ She opened the car door and scrambled out before her nerve got the better of her again, and tightly gripped the straps of her tiny school bag. She waved back to Ilse, panic swirling in her stomach, but forced her feet forward.

Kids rushed around her, talking in their friend groups and giving her a wide berth. She felt the aching claws of loneliness dig in, and wanted nothing more than to turn and run back to Ilse, clutch at her shirt and cry like a baby. Tears were already wetting her eyes, but she held them back with all her might. She couldn’t cry again so easily.

Ymir avoided the other kids and kept her eyes down as she trudged towards class. If she was lucky no one would notice her, and she could at least wipe her eyes dry. Life was never that easy, though. As if sensing her presence, a group of kids stepped in her way, all grinning.

“If it isn’t the foreign kid,” a girl drawled, smirking.

Ymir froze, spine stiff. She was so small—which she absolutely hated—that these kids towered over her. They were all the same age at 8 years old, but she felt like a 5 year old in front of them. Her lip began to tremble, but she tightened her fists and swallowed.

“G-good morning,” she tried awkwardly, the English falling from her tongue like swollen weight. She cringed at herself, but felt a tiny measure of pride that she had been able to remember the two words. The kids had no such sentiment. They all began to laugh.

“Good morning,” they mocked with her accent, slapping each other and crossing their eyes. “She’s so dumb she can’t even speak.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. She wanted to say more, but knew not how. Her English wasn’t this bad—Ilse sat with her every day and taught her how to say the basic things, how to work around her accent. But when she felt so scared and vulnerable, her brain couldn’t remember a lick of English. Sometimes she couldn’t even remember her home tongue.

“ _Jag f_ _örsöker_ ,” she mumbled in frustration. _I’m trying._

“What was that?” one of the girls asked. She stepped forward, and Ymir watched her fearfully. She was much taller, with short ashen hair and a wicked look in her eye. “English, moron. This is an English country.”

Ymir’s fists tightened. Her anxiety was rushing up at her, so she did the only thing she could think of doing. She ran. The girls laughed at her back and chased after. Other kids arriving at school watched her, but no one offered to help. Her face was wide with fear and shame, and she darted between two of the school buildings to escape the judging eyes. The girls followed, and then one of them grabbed her bag and yanked hard. She tumbled easily to the ground. She weighed so little.

“Dumb foreigners shouldn’t bother us,” another girl muttered. She was dark haired, with two-pigtails that made her head look like an intricate bread roll. Ymir would have laughed at the thought, but the girl threw her bag to the ground and then they stomped on it, laughing. “Serves you right,” she spat with venom. Once they were satisfied that their work had been done, they turned and sauntered away, chatting about something meaningless in quick English that Ymir couldn’t understand.

She quickly scrambled onto her knees and gathered her bag into her arms. Everything inside had been broken. Her lunch box was nothing more than splintered plastic, and the food that Ilse had specially made for her was spread around on her school supplies. Her pencils and pens had broken too, leaking ink into everything.

Ymir couldn’t hold it in. The tears rushed up and around her, and then she sobbed quietly into her ruined bag, her knees and palms bleeding from her fall. The first bell rang right above her head, but Ymir ignored it. She cried and cried. Just above her heart, Ymir’s chest ached.

XxX

Ymir stood just outside of her class, trembling and still bleeding. The second bell had rung long ago, but she doubted that anyone had noticed that she was gone. Why would they? No one liked her. They made fun of her, called her names they thought she couldn’t understand. English was easier to understand than speak for her, so while her speaking the language was taking longer than it should, she could very easily understand. That is if she wasn’t fearful and anxious.

The classroom door flew open suddenly, startling Ymir into tripping and falling onto her backside. She cried out in pain, sniffling when a new wave of tears threatened to overcome her. In front of her stood a girl. Ymir’s heart gave a hard, steady thump.

 _Krista Reiss,_ she thought, eyes wide.

“Are you okay?” Krista asked, beautiful blue eyes wide in surprise. She turned and looked over her shoulder. “Teacher, I found Ymir.”

Ymir felt the urge to correct her pronunciation of her name. English speakers were so inept at correct pronunciation, but Ymir let it go. Why would this pretty girl listen to her, anyway? She was surprised when Krista held out a hand for her.

“You’re bleeding,” she commented with a gasp. “What happened?”

Ymir stared at her hand for a moment, and then she hesitantly took it and let Krista hoist her up onto her feet. She felt shame and fear wash over her when she came to Krista’s shoulder. Why was she so small?

“Sorry,” was the only thing she muttered.

“Krista, please bring Ymir into the classroom. We need to begin the lesson,” their teacher barked. Krista obeyed, and when the teacher noted her tear streaked face and bloody knees, he sighed deeply and rolled his eyes. “Of course,” he muttered. “Krista, help her bandage up and then get back to your seats.” He turned back to the class and informed them that they would begin reading when Ymir was done

She felt everyone’s eyes on her as Krista pulled her to the back of the class to their medical aid kit. Her pulse hammered at her throat, rushing in her ears. She could hardly breathe through her anxiety, because the kids were whispering again, and she could hear them.

“ _She’s so ugly. Look at her frizzy hair.”_

_“Is she even white? She’s so dark.”_

_“Why is she covered in freckles?”_

_“Is she blind? Those glasses are so thick.”_

_“She’s so tiny. She shouldn’t even be here. It’s sad.”_

Each comment stabbed directly into her heart, and Ymir self-consciously smoothed her hair back and re-adjusted her glasses. Krista had retrieved the things she would need. She wet a cotton ball with detol, and then dabbed at Ymir’s torn flesh. Ymir cried out in pain, embarrassment howling through her when Krista’s blue eyes flicked up to her face.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a smile. “It will hurt, but we need to disinfect them, alright?”

Ymir nodded dumbly, and then she watched as Krista cleaned her scrapes and placed plasters over them. She realized that in the process, she had drowned out the noise from the class. All she could think of and see and hear was Krista, and she was so pretty with her blue eyes, pale skin and soft blonde hair. For the first time since moving to this country, Ymir felt like maybe she could survive it. Maybe she could make a friend.

Krista capped the detol and tossed the plaster wrappers into a nearby bin, and then she straightened and smiled down at Ymir. “There. All done.”

Ymir smiled at her, genuinely grateful. Her chest swelled with happiness. When Krista made to head back to her seat, Ymir quickly grabbed her hand. “ _Tack,_ ” she mumbled. Krista sent her a confused look, and she realized that she hadn’t translated. “Thank you,” she breathed, smiling.

Krista beamed at her. “You’re welcome, Ymir.” Ymir let her go and then watched as Krista returned to her seat, almost swallowed by her chattering group of friends. The two girls that had assaulted her earlier sat closest to Krista, and sent Ymir withering looks, but she paid them no mind.

For the first time, she didn’t mind the fact that someone had said her name wrong. So long as it was Krista, she didn’t mind.

“Ymir,” the teacher said, eyebrow ticking. “Since you arrived late, how about you start our reading session off on page seventeen?”

The glass all groaned and laughed together, and watched as Ymir nervously stepped up to her desk. She sat down, aware that they all expected her to struggle. The teacher probably did as well, but she tried. She stuttered and mispronounced and flushed, but she tried. After five minutes on one sentence, the teacher sighed and then selected another kid. Ymir slumped in relief, but her cheeks still burnt.

She chanced a glance over her shoulder. Krista was laughing at something her friend had said. She didn’t look towards Ymir again. But Ymir surely looked at her, almost unable to look away.

XxX

When Ymir got home that day, she gushed to Ilse about the girl she might have become friends with. She spoke and spoke until her throat ached, saying things just for the sake of speaking. Making up for all of the silence she had to force. Ilse took it all in stride, and she focused intently even though she was trying to cook. She laughed with Ymir, gave her a hug upon hearing about the scuffle from the morning, and exclaimed how proud she was that Ymir had made a friend. Ymir couldn’t stop her beaming smile.

The next day Ymir went to school feeling a little lighter than usual. The usual anxiety wasn’t with her, and she searched the crowd for blonde hair and blue eyes. When she found them, she frowned. Krista was hanging with _them._ The kids that bullied her. But Ymir decided to ignore them. Krista had been nice to her. There was no way she was like them, not with such a beautiful smile and kind eyes.

Ymir had been so naïve.

Swallowing down every bit of fear and apprehension she felt, Ymir walked over to the group of kids, trying to catch Krista’s eyes. Krista finally noticed her, and she smiled when she did.

“Good morning Ymir, what can I do for you?” she asked.

Ymir ignored the glares she received from the other kids. She focused only on Krista. “Morning,” she mumbled, proud when it came out semi-comprehensible. Krista nodded, waiting, so Ymir shrugged and grinned.

“Is that all? You just wanted to say hi?” When Ymir nodded happily, Krista smiled again. “Okay. Hey, Ymir.”

Ymir felt like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it. “Hi.” She wanted to giggle and gush, but then someone knocked into her from behind and she fell down hard. The scrapes from yesterday burst open, leaking blood onto the concrete.

“Hitch!” Krista scolded, gasping. “That wasn’t necessary!” She bent down and helped Ymir up, apologizing.

“What?” Hitch asked, shrugging and grinning devilishly. She was one of the two from the day before. “She’s so small I didn’t see her. What, are you some foreigner lover or something?”

Krista’s gaze flickered with something odd, and when she smiled at Ymir again, it was forced. “Sorry about them,” she said. “You take care, okay?” She stood and then turned her back, her friends teasing her about interacting with Ymir.

Ymir should have been offended, but her wrist still tingled where Krista had touched her. The first bell ringing broke her out of her trance, and she hurried to class with a bandage pressed to her new wound. Ilse had insisted that she start carrying some of her own, just in case.

Ymir didn’t care that she would most likely need them.

XxX

Days turned into weeks, weeks to months. Ymir still felt like an outcast, and her progress with English still wasn’t going anywhere substantial, but she was getting better. Enough so that she could carry on a short conversation with Krista each morning. Those moments were her highlights. Even when Hitch and Mina pushed her down and kicked her in the ribs, or when Reiner cut a lock of her hair off because he thought it was funny, or when Annie called her names and then shoved her into a wall, Ymir found her solace in Krista’s kind smile. She yearned for it each and every day, so much so that it blinded her.

It was the middle of the school year, and somehow Ymir had survived that long. She trudged through the school gates, no longer feeling the need to wave at Ilse. As she did every day, she searched the crowd for Krista and didn’t find her. Ymir frowned in worry, but headed on to class anyway.

Krista only showed up when the second bell rang, and the class settled down when the teacher entered. Krista didn’t smile at her, or send her a friendly glance. She stared down at her feet and marched over to her desk. She only animated slightly when Hitch leaned over and whispered something, but her smile was hollow and empty. Ymir felt her stomach drop at the sight.

What had happened to Krista?

The class droned on. The teacher embarrassed Ymir a handful of times, taking great joy in the fact that she struggled. Though maths was her one strong point, and the class shut up quickly when she correctly answered a complicated math problem at the front of the class on the blackboard. The teacher had cleared his throat, caught by surprise too, and sent her back to her desk.

Ymir flashed her first smug grin.

During first break, Ymir went in search of Krista. She longed to speak to her, even if just in passing, and found her standing with her group of friends by one of the classroom buildings. She leaned against the wall, chatting happily with Mina, but paused when she noticed Ymir walking over. Ymir didn’t hide her happy grin, but it slowly deflated when she saw Krista’s smile turn plastic.

“Look, it’s the retard,” Reiner commented dryly from Krista’s side. “Are you obsessed with Krista or something?” he asked. “It’s gross.”

Krista sent him a glance, but didn’t say anything. Ymir’s chest throbbed with sudden panic. She swallowed hard, mouth dry, but someone else spoke before she could.

“Look, we don’t like you,” Hitch sneered. “Neither does Krista. She’s only endured you because she feels sorry for you. Isn’t that right?” They all looked to Krista, but she didn’t say anything. She stared down at her feet.

“Krista?” Ymir choked out in a whisper.

“Get lost, foreigner,” Reiner snarled. “No one here likes you. You’re nothing but annoying.”

Ymir stumbled back, eyes wide and wet with tears. Krista glanced up at her then, face pulled in an odd expression. She looked sad and angry at once, but then she spoke and shattered Ymir’s heart.

“Just leave, Ymir,” she said softly, gently, as if she wasn’t shoving a stake right through Ymir’s chest. “Leave me alone.”

Ymir nodded, tears falling down her cheeks. Of course. How could she have been so dumb? She had mistaken Krista’s forced politeness for kindness. She had thought that Krista was different. Why would she be? She hung out with those mean kids, anyway. Why had Ymir been so dumb? So smitten?

Why had she fallen in love with Krista, when all she did was break her heart in the worst way possible?

Ymir returned home a mess, and Ilse held her through the night. They said no words, and Ymir only cried. The next day Ymir woke for school, but Ilse told her to return to bed. A week later Ymir transferred to another school.

She hoped that she never saw Krista again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are most welcome. Next chapter will be up in a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note: I am aware that Ymir's name is something like E-meer, but I am a stubborn ass and I pronounce it the Japanese way, so don't yell at me after this chapter that Ymir's name is wrong. I know this. I don't care, lol. Enjoy the chapter and thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> (also, excuse the bad Swedish if there is bad Swedish. I'm working with google translate here)

“Nervous?” Ilse asked, grinning.

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Quaking in my boots,” she drawled, accent still there but mostly disguised under her fluent English.

“Sure,” Ilse laughed. “But you’ve been tapping your fingers the whole ride and that’s your tick, _lillasyster._ ”

Ymir arched a brow, but drew in a short breath and released it slowly. “Okay, yes, I’m slightly nervous. I’m back in this shithole.”

Ilse frowned. “Ymir, language.”

“Sorry. I meant I’m back in this _skit—”_ Ilse didn’t let her finish, and aimed a punch at her upper arm. “Ouch!”

“That’s what you get for being a little _skit_ , as you so put it.” They parked in front of Maria High, and Ymir’s brown eyes narrowed slightly at the sight. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

Ymir waved off her concern. “Don’t care either way. This is closest and cheapest. I can deal with it.” She made to hop out of the car, but Ilse’s hand closed around her wrist.

“Ymir…” she started, eyes swimming with emotion. “Don’t let them get to you.”

Ymir covered Ilse’s hand with her own. She didn’t respond with her usual sarcasm and snark. She let Ilse see the genuine appreciation in her eyes. “I’m not little anymore, _storasyster. Jag kommer att bli bra,_ alright? I can do this.”

Ilse withdrew with a smile. “You’re right. You’ve changed so much, Ymir.” She pressed her palm to Ymir’s cheek, and Ymir was once again reminded of what her sister had sacrificed for her. She leaned into the touch, and then she winked.

“You can be proud of me later,” she said. “I need to go and kick ass.”

Ilse laughed loudly and then pulled away. “Show them how awesome you are!” she called after her.

Ymir slung her bag over one shoulder and sent Ilse a short wave. She grinned at her sister, steps light and smirk firmly in place. When she turned back around, she was reminded of Maria Primary. But those memories were dark and sad, so she pushed them aside and headed for the school office. A sharp thrill of enjoyment washed through her when she towered over _everyone_.

Ymir found the office easily enough. The high school was built much the same as the primary school had been, which immediately got on Ymir’s nerves. She wasn’t anxious or scared. Not in the least. When she stepped into the office, the lone secretary eyed her warily.

“Good morning, can I help?”

Ymir smiled politely at her and stepped up to the desk. “My name is Ymir Wikström. I was told to get my class roster from the office. I’ve transferred in a bit late.”

The woman’s eyes widened, and then she nodded hurriedly and searched through her desk. She finally found what she was looking for, and handed a paper over to Ymir with a pleasant smile.

“Welcome to Maria High, Ymir,” she said, mispronouncing the name. Ymir ignored it, though she rolled her eyes.

“Thanks, uh,” she squinted at the lady’s nametag. “Petra.” She purposefully emphasised the _Pet_ and rolled the _r,_ ending with a resounding _aah,_ and delighted in the flash of annoyance over the woman’s face. She winked and then strolled out of the office, Petra’s eyes at her back. “Dumb natives,” she drawled softly, eyes down and focusing on her roster. It stated that her register teacher was one Zoe, Hanji. So she folded up the paper, shoved it into her skinny jeans and then strolled through the quad to the school building for matrics. She was late. The bell had already run five minutes ago, but she took her time. There was something satisfying about being back here after so many years, feeling the way she did. She used to cower and fear at this place—well, the primary school. Now she felt tall and powerful.

Ymir eventually found her register class, building A, classroom 12B on the third floor. She huffed in annoyance at needing to climb so many damn stairs, cursing softly in Swedish because it felt good doing it. When she reached the door, she heard a woman’s loud, obnoxious voice giving the class their daily news. She knocked lazily, and then waited to be acknowledge.

The teacher was quite attractive—beautiful brown eyes behind glasses, brown hair up in a ponytail and shoulders broad enough that Ymir could tell she lifted. She had an odd air about her. When Ymir’s knock interrupted her sentence, her gaze darkened like she would snap in anger, and then she broke out into a large, happy grin when she looked up and saw Ymir’s tall figure in the doorway.

“Ah, there she is!” Hanji exclaimed. “Our new transfer student. Class. Please welcome her nicely, and no leering!” She waved her hand, indicating for Ymir to enter. Ymir hesitated for a split second, and then she took a calming breath and stepped forward. The class all started whispering, curious eyes on her as she approached Hanji, who then wrapped an arm around her shoulder and grinned. “Now, everyone. This is Ymir Wikström, and she—”

“Wikström,” Ymir interrupted. “You said it wrong.”

Hanji paused, eyebrows lifting. “Oh? I apologize. How do you pronounce it?”

Ymir fought off a grin. The class had gone deathly quiet at the sound of her name. “My name is pronounced Yah-Meer. Roll the r. And my surname is pronounced Vik-stroom. Roll the r. Don’t close the o.”

Hanji considered her for a moment. “Wikström,” she tried, pronouncing it precisely how Ymir had instructed. Ymir grinned and patted her on the shoulder. “That correct?”

“Yup. Thanks.”

“Okay, Ymir,” she winked, smiling at the new pronunciation. “Where can you sit?”

Ymir finally allowed herself to scan the class. Her heart was thudding slowly in excitement, and increased when she saw familiar faces. They were all staring at her, wide eyed, whispering to each other like the messiah himself had transferred into class.

“Oh, there’s an empty seat at the back!” Hanji exclaimed, pointing. Ymir followed her hand and then nodded. She strolled lazily towards the back, taking in the curious stares. When she finally made it to her desk, she dropped down without any grace at all, and then she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

She felt a strong gaze on her, one that shone over the rest.

Breath hitching for a split second, Ymir turned and looked to her right, and caught bright blue eyes staring at her from across the room. Ymir’s heart squeezed. For a full second she couldn’t breathe, and then she felt anger simmer to the surface, and she hardened her gaze. She glared, huffed and then turned away. Hanji was speaking again, babbling on about some school function that everyone needed to donate to. She wasn’t listening.

All around her people whispered and stared, but that one stare bothered her the most.

It was Krista Reiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?? Thoughts?? Next chapter will be out the 29th!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for NaKuri! Remember that YumiKuri is end game, guys!

“Historia,” her mother started, face cold and emotionless.

“Yes mother?”

“Remember what your father said,” Mrs Reiss continued. “You are to pass all of your exams with distinctions. Understood?”

Historia tipped her head slightly, wondering why her mother felt the need to remind her. Mr Reiss had taken a considerable amount of his time home the day before to sit Historia down and very calmly threaten her peaceful life if she did not maintain a perfect grade average, especially since this was her last year in high school. Appearances mattered.

Her last test had been 89%. One percent less than usual and her parents lost their shit. She knew it was to be expected, though, so she pasted a fake, sweet smile onto her face and then nodded.

“Of course, mother,” she answered. “Anything you and father want.”

Mrs Reiss was a very beautiful woman, with pale blonde hair and crystalline blue eyes. Sometimes Historia looked in the mirror and saw Mrs Reiss staring back, and that frightened her more than anything. Beauty was one thing, but Mrs Reiss was also cold hearted. Frighteningly so.

“Good.”

They parked in front of the school gates, and then Historia climbed out and watched her mother speed down the street in her luxurious car, without so much as a goodbye. Historia shrugged, accustomed to the cold treatment, and hurried through the gates. Hitch was there waiting for her, grinning broadly.

“Your mother is still a stone cold bitch,” she commented offhandedly.

“Good morning to you too, Hitch,” she responded, rolling her eyes.

“Sup bitch. So have you heard the latest rumour flying around?”

Historia took in a deep breath. “No, but I bet you’ll fill me in.”

“Apparently there’s a new transfer student,” Hitch began. “And rumour says they’re hot. I think it’s a girl. Anyway, yeah. People say she’s like, Athena or something. Super tall, ruggedly handsome and a glare to drop your panties.”

Historia felt her cheeks warm slightly at Hitch’s word choice. “A transfer so late into February?” she asked.

“Yeah. If she’s as hot as people say, then I’ll definitely lend her my books.” She winked. “If you know what I mean.”

Historia laughed at her friend, playfully shoving her shoulder, and then they joined up with the rest of their gang by the quad. Mina gave her a hug in greeting, Annie grunted a hello and Reiner leered. Historia rolled her eyes at him and smiled. The hottest topic seemed to be the transfer student, much to Historia’s irritation. What on earth was so interesting about a new student?

“Hey, Krista,” Reiner said, waving for her to step over to him. “How did your parents take that test?”

Historia pursed her lips. “About as bad as expected.”

“Only you can get 89% on a test and get shit for it,” Hitch stated, rolling her eyes. “Damn rich people.”

Historia sent her a crooked grin. “Is that jealousy I smell?”

Hitch lifted a brow. “Me? Never.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, babe,” Mina laughed, poking her stomach. “We all know you see Krista and your jealousy meter fills right back up.”

Hitch chortled. “Oh please, like I want rich parents, the best grades in the school _and_ the love of the most popular girl in school. As if.” She rolled her eyes.

Historia blushed again. “Speaking of, where is Nanaba?”

“Uh, I think the coach called her in early. They have a game with Rose High next weekend, so…”

Historia nibbled on her lip. “Mr Smith?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, let’s hang around and see if we can spot that transfer student,” Mina suggested, a hint of excitement and curiosity in her voice. Everyone voiced their agreement, but Historia told them she wanted to find Nanaba, and left them by the matric building. Sighing, Historia went over to Mr Smith’s office and waited patiently. She stared at her nails, fiddled with her hair and then finally pulled out her phone and checked her messages.

**_Hitch_ ** _: Krista, I just saw the transfer student and hot damn. She looked really familiar, but can’t put my finger on it. I’d like to put my finger on her tho_

**_Hitch_** : _or in her_ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Historia smothered a laugh, rolling her eyes, and typed up a reply.

**_Krista_** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**_Krista_** : _You are so gay that it isn’t even funny. How do you function?_

**_Hitch_** : _Bitch I’m fabulous. Seen your Nana yet?_

**_Krista_** : _No, they’re still in Smith’s office._

**_Krista_ ** _: oh wait, I hear voices. Think they’re done. Ttyl._

**_Hitch_ ** _: go down on her for me, babe!_

Historia rolled her eyes and straightened when the door opened and Nanaba stepped out, Mr Smith right behind her.

“I expect great things from you,” he said. His eyebrows were as thick as ever.

“Thank you, Mr Smith. I’ll do my best,” Nanaba responded.

“Ms Reiss,” Mr Smith greeted, dipping his head in greeting. He smiled at them again, and then retreated back into his office and shut the door.

“Hey you,” Nanaba greeted, flashing that charming smile that never failed to put Historia at ease. “Couldn’t wait till class to see me?”

Historia grinned and grabbed the front of Nanaba’s shirt, pulling her in closer. “Of course not. Seeing that smile first thing is a must.” Nanaba flashed that grin again, and Historia couldn’t resist tugging her down for a kiss. Some of Nanaba’s friends passed by, whistling and yelling for them to get a room. Nanaba flipped them off with a soft chuckle, and then she picked Historia up and twirled her around.

“Smith wants me to put some extra training in,” she said, setting Historia down. “I won’t be able to study with you this week.”

Historia’s heart dropped in disappointment, but she shook it off with a smile. “I understand, it’s fine. So you’re playing against Rose?”

Nanaba took her hand, and the two of them began walking towards class. “Yup. We lost our last game, so coach has been a little hard on me.”

Historia huffed. “First they didn’t want you on the rugby team because you’re a girl, now they put the fate of the team on your shoulders.”

“I’ll be fine babe,” Nanaba assured. “I can handle it. You’ll be there to watch my game, right?”

Historia paused and leaned against Nanaba’s front. “Of course,” she breathed. She could hear Hitch’s cat calling from across the quad, so she stepped up and kissed Nanaba deeply, pulling her arms around to grip her ass. Nanaba went willingly, slipping her fingers into Historia’s back pockets. The noises got louder, and then they pulled apart at the sound of the bell.

“I have to go,” Nanaba whispered gently. “See you at break?” She caressed the side of Historia’s cheek, her blue eyes so gentle and loving. They were so unlike Historia’s. She stared into them, feeling safe and needed, and above all, cherished. She smiled.

“Yeah. Will miss you.”

Nanaba stepped away, their hands still connected, and blew a kiss. Historia caught it, grinning. She let Nanaba’s hand slip from her own, and then watched as she jogged away across the quad to her own class. They didn’t share register period, unfortunately.

When Historia returned to her group of friends, they were leering at her. She rolled her eyes and slapped Hitch’s hands away from her chest. “Behave, you,” she laughed.

“Seeing you two basically have sex while standing got me all hot and bothered,” Hitch countered. She shared a look with Mina, and they all giggled together.

“You wish.” She blushed brightly, but sighed in exasperation when her friends just laughed at her expense. The bell had rung, so they all hurried to their class before they got a warning. Historia, Mina and Hitch all shared their register period, while Annie and Reiner shared theirs with Nanaba. Reiner sent her a smug grin when he entered the class for 12A, and she sent him a narrowed, though playful, grin.

Hanji clapped her hands to hurry them all into their seats, and then she sat down on the corner of her desk and waited for quiet. The students generally loved Hanji, so they silenced quickly when she wanted to speak. After a couple of seconds, Hanji inhaled loudly and then smiled.

“As many of you have heard,” she said. “We have a transfer student.” Her eyes scanned the classroom, causing many of the students to do the same. Was this person in class already? Historia looked with them, but saw no one new. Hanji came to the same conclusion and sighed solemnly. “Who seems to not be in class yet. She’s probably still at the office getting the things that she needs for this year.”

Historia felt a tap on her arm and turned to see Hitch leaning in close. “Told you it’s a girl,” she whispered. “I wonder if she is as hot up close.”

Historia poked her in the ribs. “If you’re patient for like, five seconds then you’ll find out.”

Hitch grumble under her breath but settled back into her seat. Historia turned back to Hanji, who had begun giving them their morning news. Someone had clogged up one of the boy’s toilets, a group of kids had been found doing weed at the back of the school, and then more tests were announced. The class groaned in union.

“Now, now,” Hanji said, pressing her hands together. “This is your last year. You have the next 4 months to finish the year’s work _and_ study up for finals. Once June rolls around you won’t have time to moan and groan. So, if anyone needs—” a knock on the door cut Hanji short, causing the class to hold their breath in anticipation of Hanji’s famous murderous rampages. But it didn’t happen. She glanced at the door and grinned widely at the large shadow there. Students glanced that way too, and Historia heard the beginning of excited whispers. “Ah, there she is!” Hanji exclaimed. “Our new transfer student. Class. Please welcome her nicely, and no leering!” She swept her hand dramatically, and then the newcomer stepped into the class and Historia felt the blood drain from her face.

“Holy shit,” Hitch gasped. “She _is_ way hotter up close. Why do I still think I’ve seen her before?”

Historia could barely hear her. Blood rushed in her ears and her mouth suddenly felt way too dry. _No,_ she told herself. _No it can’t be._ Her stomach churned and twisted, but she forced herself to remain calm. Hitch was still chattering in her ear, so she focused on that while the transfer student strolled up to Hanji.

“Now, everyone. This is Ymir Wikström, and she—”

Historia’s heart nearly stopped. _It’s Ymir. It really is Ymir._

“Wikström,” Ymir interrupted. “You said it wrong.”

Her voice was so… mature, and deep, with a touch of huskiness that immediately made Historia’s stomach clench. She wanted to vomit, to scream, to stand up and run.

 “Oh? I apologize. How do you pronounce it?”

Hitch leaned in again, this time grabbing Historia’s arm in a bruising grip. “Fucking hell, Kris. It’s Ymir. That freak kid from primary. Do you remember her?”

Historia swallowed. Of course she did. She had never forgotten. “I little bit,” she answered instead, voice wavering.

“Well fuck me,” Hitch breathed. “She got super-hot.”

She really had. In primary school she had been a tiny thing, but now she was so tall. And she wasn’t awkward or gangly at all. She kept her head high. Historia remembered how soft and scared Ymir had been, but now she stared at them with eyes so sharp and unafraid that she couldn’t even attempt to look into them. Ymir’s face… well, good things had happened to that face. Her glasses were gone, she had short hair down to the nape of her neck, and her freckles congregated around her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. They looked so nice on her brown skin. She looked so… incredibly different.

_What else would you expect of 10 years?_ she chastised herself.

“My name is pronounced Yah-Meer. Roll the r. And my surname is pronounced Vik-stroom. Roll the r. Don’t close the o.”

Historia had never heard Ymir string so many words together before. She barely had an accent, but it was there. Heavier as she pronounced her name. She remembered how Ymir had always taken a breath after someone said her name, but would exhale it and shrug. Then she had been too scared, now she didn’t give a shit.

Historia glanced down at her shirt, eyes widening when she read the text printed on the front.

**_‘I’m not always a bitch. Just kidding, go fuck yourself.’_ **

She swallowed. Mina leaned in from behind them. “Guys, that’s Ymir, right?” she whispered. “Our Ymir?”

“Yeah, dipshit,” Hitch responded, rolling her eyes. “How many other Wikströms do you think live here?”

They started bickering, but Historia kept her eyes on Ymir. She couldn’t tear them away.

 “Okay, Ymir,” Hanji continued. “Where can you sit?”

Hanji found an open seat, and then the class watched and whispered as Ymir strode over. She was just so… so tall. She all but sauntered over to her desk, and then she dropped down without a care and stared forward, eyelids half closed. Historia couldn’t stop staring, even when Hanji continued with her news about some dumb function she didn’t care about. As if she felt the force of her stare, Ymir suddenly glanced at her.

It was a second of eternity, one that punched Historia right in the gut. She stared, wide eyed, as Ymir’s eyes hardened into a glare, filled with so much hate and annoyance that Historia paled further, and then she ripped her gaze away and refocused on Hanji.

Historia swallowed and looked away as well. She suddenly felt sick. Every mistake she had ever made rushed back to her, playing behind her eyelids, whispering sick melodies into her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut and snuck a glance at Ymir for a second time.

Ymir never glance at her again. Why would she? Ymir probably hated her. And she had every reason to.


	4. Chapter 4

After Hanji completed the Daily Broadcast™, she gave the class the rest of the period to do their own thing, such as homework they hadn’t done, or studying if they were so inclined. Ymir sat idly at her desk, lazily twirling a pencil around her fingers. It was an art she had perfected at her old school, since classes there had been so boring Ymir had sometimes wished for death. She didn’t take note of anyone else as the pencil danced along her digits, and then someone stepped up to her desk, interrupted her concentration, and the pencil cluttered to the ground.

“ _Skit,”_ she muttered under her breath and glanced up at the intruder.

“Ymir, right? I’m Mina.”

Ymir couldn’t stop herself from grinning in amusement. Mina honest to god still had the twin pigtails. She looked awful, but Ymir didn’t say anything. “Hi Mona,” she said purposefully, batting her eyelashes innocently. “What can I do for you?”

Mina tilted her head slightly, eyebrows furrowed. “I just thought I’d introduce myself,” she said a moment later.

Suddenly Hitch appeared, draping herself over Mina’s shoulder. She looked as wicked as Ymir remembered, but Ymir kept her expression neutral, expectant. “You look familiar,” Hitch stated. “Do you remember us?”

Ymir pursed her lips. This was a moment she had deliberated for a long time before stepping foot in the school. She could make this go in so many directions. Instead she lifted her arm suddenly, grateful when Hanji immediately noticed her.

“Yes, Ymir?”

“I don’t have my textbooks yet,” she drawled. “Is there anything I need to do, or…?”

Hanji’s eyes widened. “Oh dear, I almost forgot. You’ll need to head over to get them, huh? Girls, why don’t you take Ymir?”

Ymir’s smile twitched out of place, but she kept it there. Hitch’s grin widened and Mina seemed a little startled. When the two of them parted, Ymir’s heart jumped into her throat at the sight of Krista right behind them. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, especially when Ymir’s glance fell on her.

“Um, no I think she’ll be fine on her own,” Mina countered.

“I don’t mind,” Ymir breathed, smiling when Mina glanced at her in surprise. “I don’t want to end up lost, yes? I’d appreciate the company.”

Ymir stood suddenly, relishing the way Mina jumped back in fright, and then stared _up_ at her. She seemed a little frightened, but then Hitch was laughing at her and slapping her on the back.

“Relax, dipshit,” Hitch told her, snickering. “Ymir here is a gentle giant, right?”

Ymir narrowed her eyes only slightly. “Of course. Wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She offered her arm, delighted when Hitch took it, and then she let them guide her out of the class. Mina grabbed Krista to bring her with, since she had been escaping back to her seat. Anger filled Ymir’s belly again, but she forced herself not to look over at Krista. She didn’t have to say a word to her.

They headed for the stairs, Ymir not looking forward to the exercise, while Hitch began to babble. Ymir learnt then that Hitch very much enjoyed the sound of her own voice, and that she still assumed that Ymir was a dumb foreigner. She explained her culture and things from her country as if Ymir hadn’t lived there for 10 years, but all the while Ymir pretended surprise.

“What, seriously?” she would gasp, eyes wide. Hitch ate that shit up. She loved the attention.

They met the ground floor and then headed for another building. Hitch pulled Mina into the conversation as well, but Ymir began to zone out. They were just… so fucking boring, and simple. She took careful note of where they were walking, and then spotted a sign that read ‘Textbooks and Supplies’ and breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She suddenly regretted letting these three escort her. Out of everyone on the class, why them? If they tried to bully her again, Ymir might bust a hernia laughing. Part of her wanted it to happen, just to have the amusement.

As they neared the doorway, another student walked out with a few books in her arms. Her head was down, and a chocolate sat between her lips, so she didn’t see Hitch step right in front of her. Hitch was busy talking about her hair, eyes focused on Ymir’s face, and the two collided painfully and fell to the ground.

“Sorry!” the other girl yelled, scrambling for her chocolate.

“What the fuck?” Hitch rubbed her forehead, enraged. “Oh, it’s the country bumpkin. Stuffing your face again, Sasha?” she sneered. In that moment Ymir had never seen someone with such an ugly expression. It lit a deep, roaring fire inside of her, especially when Sasha looked down in shame, cheeks colouring.

Hitch stood up, dusting her pants off and clicking her tongue. She started saying something again, but she never got a chance. Ymir advanced on her, face red from anger, fists shaking. She didn’t lash out and she didn’t yell. She pressed Hitch up against the wall, and then she got up in her face.

“Hitch,” she breathed lowly, looking pointedly into Hitch’s eyes. They were wide, unsure. A light blush covered her face. They were flush together, so Ymir took advantage of her dazed state to lean in close, smirking. She moved until her lips were at Hitch’s ear.

“You asked if I remember you,” she breathed, low and husky. “And I do, Hitch. I remember every little sweet thing you said to me. And you know what’s funny?” she pulled back, aware that Mina and Krista were staring at her in fright. That alone sent a violent shiver down her spine. “I can _fucking_ rip you to pieces, so easily, if I wanted to,” she growled, her accent coming out harsher due to her anger.

Hitch shoved away from her, panicked, but Ymir grabbed hold of her upper arm and made sure that her grip hurt. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, frantic.

“Me?” Ymir asked, laughing. “I’m the beast you made of me.” She shoved her then, eyes narrowed as Mina and Krista caught their friend before she fell. “Don’t ever fucking talk to me like we’re friends,” she snarled. “Because we aren’t, and we never fucking will be. And you,” she flicked her eyes to Krista and took a looming step closer. “Don’t even fucking look at me.”

Krista’s eyes—still so god damn beautiful—widened to saucers. Her lower lip began to tremble, and then Ymir turned away and stared down at Sasha. The girl looking up at her like she was a god. Krista and her group hurried away, Hitch complaining and swearing. Ymir could feel Krista’s eyes on her, and she pressed a hand to her chest to get her heart to calm down.

So yeah, she had anger issues still. She was working on it.

“Th-thanks,” Sasha said, pressing the books into her chest.

“Don’t thank me,” Ymir snarled at her. “You’re pathetic.” Sasha’s eyes widened in shock. “Hitch is a piece of shit, and you let her words get to you. It doesn’t matter what she says. They can only hurt you if you let them.”

Sasha watched her silently, and then she nodded and attempted to get up. Ymir eventually sighed and held out a hand for her.

“Can I thank you now?” she asked cautiously.

“You’re welcome.” Ymir ran a hand through her hair. “So what do I need to do to get textbooks?”

Sasha was inspecting her half eaten chocolate with a grief-stricken expression. After a second she dumped it in the bin, shoulders slumped. “You just ask the lady for your textbooks. Do you want me to help?”

Ymir eyed her. “You want me to walk you back to class, don’t you?”

Sasha laughed sheepishly. “You scare me a little, Ymir, I’ll admit. But you really helped me out there. And you’re right, you know.” She looked down at her feet. “I’ve let Hitch kick me down too many times.”

Ymir nodded. “Alright. Wait here and I’ll walk you back. What class?”

“12 A.”

“Right next to mine.”

Sasha smiled at her, and then Ymir stepped inside and made her way over to the counter. The lady sent her an annoyed look, so Ymir immediately responded with one of her own. “Ymir Wikström,” she stated. “I need my textbooks.”

“Grade?”

“12.”

“Class?”

“B.”

“Wait a moment.” She typed in a few things on her computer, and then she disappeared between columns of bookcases, and returned a moment with a pile in her arms. She scanned their barcodes in one by one. “English Home Language,” she started. “Life Orientation. Life Sciences. Computer Application Technology. Visual Art. Mathematics. Afrikaans First Additional Language. That it?”

Ymir scanned the subjects and then she nodded. “That’s it, yes. Thank you.” She grabbed the pile and then headed out the door. Sasha was still there, waiting patiently and staring down into the dustbin. She still looked so sad.

“Are you a food addict or something?” Ymir asked.

Sasha jumped at the sound of her voice. “Jesus, you scared me. And no, I’m not. I just enjoy eating. Is that so wrong?” She pouted.

Ymir rolled her eyes, but she felt the edges of a smile and resisted it. “Suppose not.” She inclined her head, and then the two started off back to class. They remained, much to Ymir’s relief, silent for most of the way. Until Sasha decided she couldn’t enjoy the quiet anymore.

“So Ymir, you’re the transfer student, right?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Where do you come from?”

“I went to Rose High,” she answered. “And before that I was at Maria Primary, then Rose Primary.”

Sasha nodded. “Ah, so that’s why Hitch was all over you like she knew you. Well, that and you’re…” she trailed off, cheeks red again, but Ymir lifted a brow and that must have prompted her to continue. “You are insanely attractive. Hitch is known to go for any girl that has cheekbones like yours. Watch out.”

Ymir snorted. “I think I have already sufficiently watched out, but thank you.”

“True. I’ve never seen her so scared before.” Sasha broke out into a lewd grin. “It made me a little moist, to be honest.”

Ymir laughed, surprised at herself for it. Sasha sent her an eyebrow wiggle, so Ymir playfully bumped into her. “You are a fucking weirdo.”

Sasha laughed and shrugged. “But us weirdos have to stick together, right?”

Ymir stepped back, frowning. “Some of us, yeah.” They stopped by Sasha’s class, but Sasha seemed hesitant to step inside.

“Thank you again, Ymir,” she said. “I know you said not to but… I appreciate you.”

Ymir smiled at her, rolling her eyes. “Whatever. Just don’t let someone beat you down in front of me again, okay? I have no time to swoop in and rescue you.”

Sasha grinned. “I’ll resist the temptation.”

They nodded at each other, and then they parted ways. Ymir felt her stomach tighten when she looked forward and saw Krista standing just outside of the class, arms crossed over her chest and expression absolutely livid. Ymir paused far away from her, eyebrow raised.

“That was not nice,” Krista started first, kicking away from the wall. “What you said there.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “I see you’re still as much of a bitch as I remember,” she retorted. “And a coward.”

Krista balked, face reddening. She looked away to the side, since Ymir must have hit the mark. “You’re mean,” she countered.

“Like that’s going to touch me. This might upset you, but you and your little friends can’t hurt me anymore.” Krista looked at her again, and her eyes swam with emotion. Ymir was reminded of the last time she had seen Krista’s eyes. They looked the same now. It made Ymir sick. “I’m not interested,” Ymir told her. “In anything you have to say.” She waited a beat, and then she smirked. “Leave me alone.”

Krista’s face fell, broken. Ymir brushed past her, heart clenching and stomach tied up in knots. She ignored Hanji’s joyous voice and headed for her school bag. The bell had rung.

Ymir’s fists clenched tightly, and she took a moment to take in deep, even breaths. The same spot above her heart began to hurt, and she gingerly rubbed at the spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep forgetting to mention, that I'll be updating every third day. So chapter 5 will be out on the 2nd, then chapter 6 on the 4th, and so on. Please be patient with me! I have lots and lots of chapters already written up. You will get your next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that still don't know, I'm updating this fic every three days. It IS being updated regularly! Just be a little patient ^^ and thank you so much for reading

At last school ended, and besides the incident from the morning, the day went by smoothly. Ymir corrected each one of her teachers when they pronounced her names wrong, and no one approached her. Other than Sasha though, who she shared Life Orientation and Life Sciences with. So of course Sasha moved on over to sit by her, and Ymir tried her best to ignore her, but Sasha wasn’t easy to ignore. Since Life Sciences was their last subject, Sasha walked Ymir out of the class.

“Someone picking you up?” Sasha asked casually.

“Yup.”

“Who?”

“My sister.”

“Ooh, nice. I’ve got a few of those.”

Ymir resisted her grin. “Fascinating.” They continued walking in silence. It was only when they reached the gate and Sasha paused beside her that Ymir finally turned to her, eyebrow raised. “What are you doing?”

Sasha looked like she had been lost in thought, because she snapped back to attention. “Hm? Oh, um…” She furrowed her brows. “I’m standing?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “I mean why are you standing by me? Don’t you have a truckload of sisters waiting for you somewhere or something?”

Sasha snorted hard in amusement, and then slapped a hand over her mouth in horror at the sound. When Ymir didn’t comment on it she relaxed. “Well, I thought you’d like some company while you wait.”

“Sasha, we aren’t friends,” Ymir informed her. “I’ll be fine on my own.”

Sasha visibly deflated. “We’re not friends? Really?”

“Really. I just helped you out so that you owe me.”

“My friendship?”

“No, not your friendship.”

Sasha’s lower lip trembled. “But you’re so cool. You’d be such a cool friend.”

Ymir shut her eyes for a second, taking deep breaths to stop herself from being unnecessarily rude to Sasha. “Look, I don’t do friends.”

Sasha reddened. “That’s fine, because I’m not in the mood anyway.”

“ _Skit,_ ” Ymir cursed, slapping her forehead. “I fucking hate English sometimes. I did not mean it like that. I don’t like having friends, so I don’t. I’m alone.”

Sasha pouted. “Are you the lone suffering artist?”

Ymir eyed her. “Are you mocking me?”

“Yes.”

“I can kick your ass.”

“But you won’t, because we’re friends.”

“Sasha, I don’t want to be your—”

Ymir’s phone vibrated and then rang, interrupting her response. She quickly pulled it out of her jeans, noting that it was Ilse. “Hallå?” she greeted in Swedish, mindful that Sasha leaned in close, eyes wide.

“Ymir? I’m so sorry, but work is holding me up and I can’t leave for the next hour. Do you think you could keep yourself busy until then?”

Ymir sighed. “Säker,” she said. _Sure._ “Jag förstår,” _I understand._ “I’ll go to the mall nearby to study.”

“ _Tack_ , Ymir. I’m so sorry.”

 _“Ta det lugn, storasyster,”_ she said. _Take it easy._ “I’ll see you later.”

“Stay safe, alright? I want to hear all about your day when I pick you up.”

Ymir grinned. “Roger that. Bye.”

“Bye Ymir.”

The call disconnected and Ymir slipped her phone back into her pocket. She didn’t spare Sasha a glance as she started down the road toward the mall, but Sasha silently followed her, staring in wonder at her face. After five minutes Ymir sent her a glare.

“What?”

“What language was that?”

“Svenska,” she answered. “I’m Swedish.”

“Oooh my god, that’s so cool.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Only to you, _dumhuvud._ ”

“Okay that sounded rude.”

“It was.”

Sasha sighed in exasperation, but she chuckled to herself and then quieted down. They continued walking until they reached the mall. Ymir decided that arguing with Sasha would get her nowhere, so she simply ignored her. Eventually that became difficult to do as well.

“Have you eaten by Titan Falls before?” Sasha asked her.

“No.”

“Oh you must, their food is amazing.”

Ymir deliberated, then shrugged. “Fine. Take me there.”

Sasha whooped in joy and then grabbed Ymir’s hand, tugging her through the mall towards the desired restaurant. It was small but beautifully decorated, making Ymir feel like she had just stepped into a dense forest capped by a cascading waterfall. Calm washed over her in waves, and she made a note to thank Sasha for this later.

They took a seat at the back and ordered a milkshake each, Ymir a chocolate and Sasha a gross combination of bubble-gum and milo. When Ymir sent her a disgusted look, Sasha shrugged.

“You only live once, right?”

“Drinking stuff like that?” Ymir asked. “Not even once.”

Sasha laughed but agreed with a nod. “Yeah, I eat weird stuff.”

Ymir grunted in response and then pulled her books out of her bag. She had an hour or so to complete her work, so she got started on that and forgot that Sasha even existed as she paged through the mountain of work she would need to revise before she caught up with the rest of the class. At least it was stuff she understood, so she only needed to do all of the worksheets and projects. Her teachers had offered to let her pass those without doing them, but she declined. Ymir earned her grades, they weren’t given to her.

Ymir started on her English literature. The questions were easy enough to answer, and she only took a break when she finished her milkshake and Sasha’s gaze startled her into remembering that she was there.

“Fuck,” Ymir gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “Don’t do that.”

Sasha titled her head. “Do what? I was just sitting here.”

Ymir pointed her pencil at Sasha, eyes narrowed. “Exactly.”

Sasha shook her head. “Do you need any help with the work?”

“No thanks, I’m fine.”

“Alright. I’m just a bit lonely.”

Ymir closed her book, sighing. She turned to signal for a waitress, when she noticed the last person she wanted to see. Krista. Sitting alone at the other side of the restaurant, pouring over a book. She was lazily sipping on some coke, blonde hair let down out of the ponytail she had worn. She lifted her hand and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind a pink ear, and then turned the page.

Ymir swallowed and felt a twinge in her heart.

“What’re you lookin’ at?” Sasha asked, turning.

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “Nothing,” she snapped. “Don’t you have family members worried about you?”

Sasha shook her head. “Well, yeah, but I walk home so they don’t stress. I usually chill by Connie’s before heading home, anyway. Connie is my best friend, by the way. He’s bald and stupid, but god I love him.”

Ymir rubbed at her temple. “I didn’t ask.”

“I like your shirt,” Sasha added suddenly. “It suits you.”

The corner of Ymir’s mouth twitched. “Thanks. That’s the point.” Sasha laughed, and then she started telling a story about something she and Connie had done that involved a t-shirt, but Ymir wasn’t listening.

She looked over towards Krista again, heart thudding. Her hands clenched into tight fists, bleaching white from the force of her anger. She watched Krista turn her pages and sip at her coke, and she felt enraged just from that. When she realized that she had been staring, she turned away quickly.

In that last second she could have sworn that she caught Krista’s head turning towards her.

XxX

Ymir dropped down onto the couch, throwing an arm over her eyes. She sighed deeply, but she felt pleasantly exhausted. Ilse plopped down next to her and pulled her legs up onto her lap.

“So,” she started. “Spill.”

“Today was great,” Ymir started. She switched over to Swedish, telling Ilse about everything in extreme detail, from her sudden upset at Hitch, her unwanted friendship with Sasha, to her anger at just staring at Krista at the restaurant. Ilse listened quietly, gently messaging her ankles, and then she patted her leg and smiled.

“I’m proud of you,” she said. “You could have used your fists today, but you didn’t. That’s a big step for you.”

Ymir flushed in happiness. If there was one thing she loved, it was praise from her sister. “Thanks.”

Ilse suddenly broke into a sly grin. “So, you’re the new hottie of the school, huh?”

Ymir was horrified to feel her face heat up. “Don’t go there.”

“Hitch wants your freckled booty, Ymir.”

“Ilse, stop.”

Ilse dove forward, tickling her sides until Ymir had tears streaming down her face. She got up, grinning and panting, and offered a hand. “Come on, dork. I’ll put some pizza in the oven.”

Ymir blew hair out of her face and glared, but she accepted the hand and stood. She was taller than Ilse, and she reminded her by playfully petting her head. Ilse rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen, Ymir laughing at her back.

Yeah. It hadn’t been such a bad day after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for NaKuri! Remember folks, YumiKuri is mega endgame!

Mrs Reiss dropped Historia off at the same time as usual, speeding off without a backwards glance. Historia didn’t even bother to watch her leave. She had woken up in a terrible mood, thanks to nightmares of Ymir. Yesterday had been a bad day for her. Really bad. Just thinking about Ymir made her stomach bottom out.

Hitch waited by the gate as per usual, but her signature cocky grin was gone. She had dark circles underneath her eyes, and they were slightly puffy. She wondered if Hitch had been crying. She definitely wasn’t in a good mood.

“Reiner went in search of Ymir,” she said lowly, eyes darkening. “Do you want to watch?”

Historia paused mid-step through the gates. She caught Hitch’s gaze and held it. Images of Ymir as a kid flashed across her mind, when she had been shoved to the ground, battered and bruised. New images joined in, of Ymir now, crumbled on the floor, bloody and defeated. Instead of making Historia happy, like it should have, it only made her feel sicker. But she found herself nodding anyway, and then Hitch grabbed hold of her hand and dragged her across the quad to the netball field. Historia could see a group of people there, and her heart began to stutter.

She didn’t want to watch.

“Hitch, wait…” She dug her feet in and pulled Hitch to a stop. “Is this really okay?”

Hitch eyed her. “What, you scared?” she sneered. “Remember how pathetic Ymir was? How she bothered you every single day even though she could barely even speak to you? Didn’t that bother you? Doesn’t it piss you off that she just waltzed back in here and thought she could run the place?”

_I just don’t want anything to do with her, Hitch. I did my part in hurting her. I’m done._

But she said nothing. Hitch tugged her again and she lamely followed. As they neared, she heard Reiner’s voice. It looked like the beat down hadn’t started yet. Ymir stood with her back facing a tree, a neutral expression on her face. She looked disturbingly calm, even though Reiner’s huge form loomed over her and he looked about ready to explode.

“Do you know why you’re going to get your face bashed in?” he growled. Ymir shrugged. “You think you’re hot shit, but you aren’t. I remember you, foreigner.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Yes, so I’m from another country. Why do you think that’s an insult?” She rolled her golden eyes, and then narrowed them to slits. “ _Ditt jävla dumhuvud._ ” The words rolled effortlessly from her tongue, sending a strange tingle down Historia’s back. She had never heard the language before, much less in such a strong tone.

“What the fuck was that?” Reiner growled. He noticed that Hitch and Historia had joined them, so he grinned and sent a wink Hitch’s way. “Whatever. I’m going to knock you out and enjoy every second of it.”

Ymir ran a hand through her hair, ruffling it and sighing. She suddenly looked incredibly bored. “You can try,” she drawled.

Reiner seemed to burn on pure hatred. He launched forward, roaring and swinging his fists, but Ymir dodged him effortlessly. She didn’t look any less bored, but her gaze was sharp and focused. She took a few steps away from him and then planted her feet firmly on the ground, hands spread out in front of her.

“I’ll kill you!” Reiner roared.

“Come at me, meatloaf,” Ymir told him, smirking.

Reiner went for her again, and he managed to grab her wrist. Historia’s heart leapt into her throat, but she calmed when Ymir didn’t seem bothered by the hold. A few seconds later Ymir twisted until her back was pressed to Reiner’s front, and then in one swift move, she flipped him cleanly over her shoulder. He landed on his back, wind knocked out of him, and then Ymir aimed a kick at his crotch and grinned in satisfaction when he screamed in pain. She stepped back, hands slipping into her pockets, and then she sent them a glare.

“Leave me alone,” she said evenly. It wasn’t a request. It was a command.

Historia stared into her eyes, unable to breathe or move. Hitch had grabbed hold of her hand and was squeezing it harshly, but Historia barely felt the pain. Ymir turned and sauntered off, back slouched and gait lazy. She didn’t look like she had just been attacked.

“That bitch,” Hitch growled, murder in her eyes. “She’ll regret this.”

Historia bit down hard on her lip until she tasted blood and the pain made her dizzy. She yanked her hand from Hitch’s, heart pattering hard, and then stumbled back into a warm body. Arms wrapped around her from behind.

“Krista, are you okay?”

Historia turned and buried her face in Nanaba’s chest. Tears suddenly overwhelmed her. “Take me away from here,” she choked out, barely above a whisper.

Nanaba didn’t ask any questions and obeyed, dragging her away and to the rugby team’s gym. They sat down on one of the benches, and then Historia curled onto Nanaba’s lap and sobbed. Nanaba didn’t ask her to explain why she was brokenly sobbing or why she looked like she hadn’t slept at all. Nanaba simply held her, rubbing soothing circles into her lower back, pressing kisses to her brow, her forehead, her lips, and whispering comforting words into her ears.

Historia felt a rush of appreciation for her, and lifted her face to pull Nanaba into a kiss. It was slow and gentle at first, but then Historia put more passion into it, tugging Nanaba’s bottom lip between her teeth. She started pulling at her clothing, hot and feverish and desperate. She managed to discard her own shirt and was attempting to rip Nanaba’s off as well when strong hands stopped her movements, wrapping around her wrists.

“Krista,” Nanaba breathed, blue eyes wide. She was panting harshly. “Is this really a good idea?”

Historia looked away, throat thick and swollen. “Please,” she pleaded. Her voice sounded broken. “I need you.”

Nanaba studied her for a long moment, and then she nodded and slipped her hands underneath Historia’s bra, coaxing a breathy moan. Historia tipped her head back, and then she let Nanaba take her to another place entirely. Lips and teeth and fingers distracted Historia from the pain in her chest.

When they were done, Historia hurriedly slipped her clothes back on. The tears had dried on her face, and she wiped at them in disgust. Nanaba still watched her, stretched out and relaxed on one of the workout mats. She was a sight to behold, all pale skin and firm muscles, but Historia couldn’t look at her. She knew what she had just done, and Nanaba probably knew too, and it clawed at her insides.

“Thanks,” she muttered hurriedly. “The bell rang a while ago. I’ll head out first.” She slung her bag over her shoulder, but paused at the doorway when Nanaba spoke.

“If you ever need anything, Krista,” she said. “I’m always here.”

Historia clenched her hands into tight fists. She nodded, and then she hurried from the building, cheeks burning with shame. She felt terrible, but her body felt lighter, unstrung. Just the thought of that made Historia quicken her steps.

She made it to the quad, head down, lip between her teeth, when she collided hard into someone. Firm hands shot out and steadied her, and then they withdrew like they had been burnt. Historia’s gaze shot up, widening when she saw familiar brown glaring back.

“S-sorry,” she uttered. She suddenly felt dirty, with the memory of Nanaba’s lips on her skin.

Ymir narrowed her eyes, lingering on her neck, on her dishevelled hair and flushed cheeks. She flicked her gaze behind Historia, to the gym, and then back to Historia’s face. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to.

Silently, Ymir turned and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm switching to evening updates instead of morning updates, so that I can wake up the next day to comments. Thus, you get the chapter a couple hours early. You're welcome.

Ymir walked away, face expressionless but chest tight with emotion. She felt hot anger and embarrassment, and she wasn’t even sure why. She had left Krista standing at the quad, and she had looked so broken. Ymir had noticed Krista’s fearful stare when Reiner had lunged for her.

 _Why do you stay quiet?_ she wondered. _If you care, why don’t you show it?_

She pushed all thoughts of Krista out of her head, and then made her way to class. She was late, but she didn’t much care. Before she got to her class, the teacher of class 12A called out for her, and she stopped.

“Ymir?”

 _Here we go._ “That’s me.”

He was a huge teacher, with a thick moustache and tired looking eyes. He wasn’t intimidating despite his size, but Ymir still kept her distance, hands shoved into her pockets. She vaguely remembered that the teacher’s name was Mike. He stared down at her shirt, lifted a brow at the ‘ **I do not have enough coffee or middle fingers for today’** printed in bold along the front, but only cracked a tiny grin.

“I was informed that you attacked one of my students.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “With all due respect, sir, he attacked me first.”

Mike inclined his head. “And what motivation would Reiner have for attacking the new student?”

Ymir stared him dead in the eyes. “He doesn’t need one. He’s a bully, and he thought I was an easy target.” She deliberated for a second, and then sighed loudly and slumped her shoulders, appearing as though she had given up. It also made her look a little smaller than she was. “Honestly, he used to bully me when we were kids, before I left Maria Primary.”

Mike nodded in understanding. “I understand, then,” he pointed over his shoulder. “Now get back to Hanji, before she throws me from the third floor for keeping you out.”

Ymir liked him. She sent him a grin then did as she was told and hurried to class. Everyone stared when she entered, and she explained to Hanji that Mike had stopped to speak with her. Hanji must have heard about the fight, because she nodded in understanding and then told Ymir to sit down.

Ymir was grateful to slide into her seat. She tried to focus on Hanji’s rambling voice, but she could feel heated glares from across the room. This time it wasn’t Krista staring. Mina and Hitch both glared, but that wasn’t what made Ymir’s heart stutter.

Krista was slumped in her seat, face hidden in her hands. She looked smaller than usual. Ymir pretended that she didn’t care.

XxX

The first week of school flew by without any other incident. Ymir successfully melted into the background. Despite her sudden popularity, people steered clear of her. No one spoke to her, and she no longer felt curious eyes follow her every move. It was probably due to Hitch spreading nasty rumours, but Ymir was actually grateful for it. In class she listened, took notes, and did whatever worksheet or test was handed out. During test hour, she spent the entire time going over her work, and after school she walked down to the mall to do her homework at Titan Falls. The only thing that didn’t make the past week perfect, was the fact that Sasha wouldn’t leave her alone. She mistook Ymir’s desire to be alone for loneliness, and had already decided that they were best friends. Ymir noticed that Sasha had no other friends besides Connie, but he went to Rose High and they only hung out after school and on weekends.

“So what are you planning on doing after school?” Sasha asked as she once again followed Ymir down to the mall. Ymir had already given up arguing with her.

“I’m going to study further and get a job.”

“Ooh, so you already have it all figured out. What are you gonna study?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Sasha sighed. “Despite being an ass, I think you’re the most mature eighteen year old I’ve ever met. I want to be a chef, and one day open up my own restaurant.”

Ymir snorted. “Big surprise there.”

“Hey! I take offense to that.”

Ymir flicked her on the forehead, snorting in amusement. “Good. I meant to offend you.”

“You know,” Sasha grumbled, tenderly rubbing the red spot on her forehead. “You act all big and mean, but I think you’re soft inside.”

“And how do you know that?” Ymir asked, rolling her eyes. “Did you take a long, hard look into my soul and see my true self?”

“You just… you act so aloof and serious, but you really care, don’t you?”

“If you bother me? Sure. But you won’t leave me alone.” She shrugged, and then she grumbled when Sasha pressed against her side, arms wrapped around her waist. She tried to pry her off, but Sasha was astonishingly strong. They made it to Titan Falls, so Ymir merely dragged her along to their usual table.

Ymir couldn’t stop herself from glancing to the side. Her jaws clenched when she didn’t see familiar blonde hair.

They dropped down and ordered their usual. Their waitress lingered a little longer at their table, sending Ymir a little grin. Ymir noticed, so she smirked in response, and then the woman walked off, swaying her hips. Ymir watched her, leering, until Sasha slapped her wrist.

“She was so flirting with you.”

“Duh. I’m hot.”

Sasha laughed. “Do you have a girlfriend? You haven’t spoken about one.”

Ymir pulled her books out. Today she would be tackling her Visual Art project, and brainstorming some ideas for her final. “No. I’m single.”

“How come?”

“Because I prefer it that way.”

“You could get any girl you want, you know.”

Without being able to control it, Ymir’s eyes flicked back to the table Krista usually occupied. She still wasn’t there, and Ymir felt a tiny flicker of disappointment. She didn’t understand the impulse, so she didn’t think about it.

“So what? Just because I can stab myself in the eye with this pencil, doesn’t mean I should.”

Sasha groaned and pressed her face to the table. Their drinks arrived, so Sasha grinned naughtily. “Is there anyone you have feelings for, maybe?”

Their waitress took her time placing the drinks down, handing over their straws and then very slowly wiping down their already clean table. Ymir lifted a brow at her. “No,” she deadpanned. “And there never will be. I’m not interested in a relationship.” The waitress then walked off, glancing over her shoulder every few minutes, sighing. Ymir shook her head. “Is the interview over? Can I start on this project in silence?”

Sasha swirled her straw inside of the thick milkshake, a thoughtful look on her face. “Sure.”

Ymir slumped in relief and then started on her work. She had to do a brainstorm of ideas, and then after that select her main idea, which she would do a draft of before tackling the final. The medium was pencil drawing, and the theme was ‘darkness’. Their teacher had left them to interpret that any which way they wanted to; literally, metaphorically, physically. Ymir twirled her pencil around her fingers. An idea came to her, so she began doing a rough sketch just to get it down before it left her. In minutes she had a fully formed face, and it was only when she started sketching the long, flowing hair that she realized it was Krista.

Frowning, Ymir immediately stopped her pencil and frowned down at the image. She glared at her hand as if it had betrayed her. She moved to rip the page out and then tear it to shreds, but hesitated. Sasha was still involved with her milkshake—a little sexually—so she didn’t see as Ymir folded the paper and shoved it into her bag.

Ymir settled back and tried again. But the inspiration to draw had vanished, so she chucked her pencil aside and sat back to enjoy her milkshake.

“Done already?” Sasha asked. She slurped the last of her milkshake from the bottom.

Ymir’s heart felt heavy. “Lost the mood,” she mumbled. Her phone rang moments later, and she said her farewell to Sasha. Ilse waited patiently in her car, smiling when Ymir slipped inside.

“So, how was your day?”

Ymir’s tension eased slightly, and she felt a genuine smile on her face. “It was alright,” she answered, shrugging. “Wasted the hour, though. Didn’t feel like drawing.”

Ilse patted her knee in sympathy, and then she pulled the car away from the sidewalk and headed into traffic. “Don’t worry Ymir,” she said. “You’ll get there.”

Ymir stared out onto the road. _Yeah, I guess I will._


	8. Chapter 8

_Historia hurried out of the car, grinning broadly when she saw her friends waiting at the gate for her, like they always did. Her mother clamped a hand around her upper arm, yanking her harshly back into the car before she could bolt._

_“Historia,” she hissed. “Collect yourself. You aren’t a toddler anymore.”_

_Historia frowned but apologized to her mother. She waited, certain that Mrs Reiss had something she deemed important to impart before she took off._

_“You behave now, understood?”_

_Historia furrowed her brows, but she nodded her head slowly._

_“And no hanging around with any freaks, okay? Appearances matter, Historia.”_

_Her steel grip loosened, allowing Historia to finally hop from the car. Mrs Reiss sped off quickly, letting Historia breathe a sigh of relief. She sensed someone beside her, and turned to see Ymir staring down the road, to where her mother’s sports car disappeared. Her brows were furrowed, and she looked concerned. Historia realized that Ymir must have heard what her mother said, and she flushed darkly in embarrassment._

_“My mom is really worried for me, is all,” she excused, shrugging. Ymir’s soulful brown eyes regarded her carefully, and then the sudden seriousness evaporated and Ymir beamed her usual bright smile._

_“Morning,” she greeted._

_Historia felt herself smile without being able to help it. Somehow Ymir was always the first to greet her, and each morning the word sounded a little better formed. Had she been practising how to say it? Historia’s chest warmed suddenly at the thought, and she couldn’t help herself from reaching out and gently taking Ymir’s hand._

_“Morning, ‘Mir,” she said, grinning._

_Ymir’s eyes widened._

_“Krista!” Hitch bounded over, harshly shoving Ymir out of the way. Ymir stumbled and fell, eyes wide and face flushed. “I’m here to save you from that freak,” she whispered, but it was loud enough for Ymir to hear. “You wanted help, right?” Like always, Hitch regarded Historia in a way that made her feel picked apart. The warmth from earlier washed away, replaced by a shame so deeply rooted that Historia bowed her head to it. She didn’t say anything, and let Hitch drag her over to the others._

_She didn’t look behind her, but she knew Ymir was staring. And yet, she still smiled at Krista the next day. And the next._

Historia woke, gasping and sweating so badly that her sheets were soaked through and her thin sleep shirt stuck to her skin. She clutched at her blanket as her heart thundered and her breaths slid harshly through her teeth. Historia closed her eyes, counting away the seconds until the ringing in her ears stopped and she could breathe easily again. She turned her head and sought out the digital clock on her bedside table.

05:50.

There was no way she could go back to sleep. Resigned, Historia climbed out of bed and then took a shower in her private bathroom. The grime and sweat from her nightmare washed away, but the guilt and sadness remained. Historia pressed a hand against her heart.

She remembered Ymir. Gentle, kind Ymir. Loving Ymir. The girl that, in a strange country, had found solace in Historia’s fake smiles. In the mask she had slipped into place. She remembered it all with such clarity. What would their lives have been like, had she shown Ymir genuine kindness?

Historia felt like she didn’t deserve to know, so she climbed out of the shower and dried the water from her skin. By the time she was dressed for school and drained of emotion, it was close to the time her mother would wake and hustle her out of her bedroom. Her father wasn’t at home, since he had business and was probably halfway across the world. She didn’t miss him. Not in the least.

Sighing, Historia sat down at her desk and stared at her reflection in the mirror. For a long, pained moment, she saw cold, hollow blue eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, but she felt numb from the inside out. Eventually her mother’s dull voice echoed down the hall, and she prepared herself for another monotonous day.

XxX

Nanaba’s arms encircled her, giving Historia the fake sense that she was alright. In mere minutes they would be forced to part for class, so she took great pleasure in enjoying her girlfriend’s body pressed against her back. Nanaba was speaking softly to their joint group of friends, her voice a steady thrumming in Historia’s ears. She hadn’t gone to sleep early the previous night, and thanks to waking early from her dream, she was tired. Nanaba almost lulled her into a quiet sleep, but then those arms tightened and Nanaba pressed a kiss to the side of her neck.

“You okay?” she asked.

Historia gently caressed the side of her arm. “Mm. Fine. Your voice was putting me to sleep.”

Nanaba grinned at that, and their friends all made gagging noises. Hitch sent Historia a leering gaze, but Historia only rolled her eyes. The bell rang then, signalling the end of second break. Nanaba sighed slightly against her ear.

“Guess we have to go,” she said sadly. “You look really tired though. Don’t you want to go home?”

Historia shook her head and stood. She brushed away the few creases in her skirt. “I’ll be fine, Nanaba.” She held her hand out, amused when Nanaba took it but lifted herself up without using Historia’s help. She just held her hand, lips in a crooked grin.

“If you say so.” She leaned in and kissed her, and then she pulled back and lifted her bag from the ground. “See you tomorrow?”

Historia nodded, accepting one more kiss, and then watched Nanaba walk down the quad towards her second last class. Due to practise, the two of them couldn’t study together at Titan Falls, so Historia would have to wait until the next day to see her again. She suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed without Nanaba, and clutched at herself in discomfort. Hitch eyed her with a lifted brow, but didn’t comment. Instead she made a sexual joke and laughed horrendously when Historia blushed to the tips of her ears.

“Ugh, I’m not in the mood for Hanji’s eccentricities,” Hitch groaned.

Historia elbowed her softly in the ribs. “Hanji is a great teacher. I think her personality suits her subject. She makes it interesting.”

Hitch rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d stick up for the weirdo teacher.” She left the comment there, but Historia caught the way her eyes narrowed. She didn’t want to try and understand the depths of Hitch’s thoughts, so she merely kept quiet as they ascended the stairs to Hanji’s class. Not only was she their register teacher, but she was also their English teacher. And today they were doing literature.

“And speaking of weirdos,” Hitch muttered softly. Her eyes narrowed into slits.

Sitting atop the stairs, with earphones plugged in her ears and a notepad on her lap, was Ymir. She used two pencils to drum happily on the paper, ignoring all the students walking by her. She looked quite content and amused with herself, and seeing her like that lifted Historia’s spirit in a way that she couldn’t explain, though her stomach dropped low and her chest ached again.

As they neared, Ymir’s drumming increased in intensity, and then she started bobbing her head and whispering the lyrics to herself. She didn’t sound too bad, making Historia wonder what her singing voice sounded like. Hitch tapped her arm suddenly, and then she snickered and held up a balled up paper in her fist. She pointed towards Ymir, who was still absorbed in her one woman band, and pressed a finger to her lips.

Historia shook her head. “Just leave her alone,” she said. “Do you really want to make her confront you again? Did you forget what happened last time?”

Hitch lowered her arm, frowning suddenly. She didn’t look pleased, but she at least discarded the paper and looked away, huffing. “Whatever.”

Historia exhaled in relief, but then inhaled sharply when Ymir’s eyes flicked upwards, catching her gaze, and the next few lyrics slid from her mouth.

“Illusions never changed, into something real. I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. You’re a little late, I’m already torn…”

Her expression didn’t change, and her eyes slid to the side, making Historia wonder if Ymir had even seen her. They passed by her quickly, and Historia resisted the urge to turn back and look at her. But in her shadow, Ymir’s voice followed.

“You’re a little late, I’m already torn… I’m already torn.” Her voice was beautiful and forlorn, and it sent shivers down Historia’s back.

“Loser,” Hitch muttered.

Historia shook herself back into focus and followed Hitch into class. Ymir was still at the stairs, and hadn’t seemed ready to get up yet. Historia wondered what that felt like, to do whatever she wanted without caring about anything else. Just beneath the surface, she felt the first finger of jealousy caress the nape of her neck.

Hanji urged them all to seat themselves immediately, her wide grin enough to tell them that this would be one of _those_ lessons. Hanji held her copy of Othello, and waved it around until the rest of the class had retrieved theirs as well.

“I have something very interesting planned for today’s period,” Hanji began. “We are going to do a little performance. In first place to star as Othello, we have…” she grinned even wider, eyes sparkling, and then whipped her arm out and pointed to the door. “Ymir!”

Ymir halted in her tracks. She popped an earphone out, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Huh?”

“You heard me, Ymir. You’ll be Othello for today. Put your bag down, grab your book and join me in front of the class. Now, who shall be our lovely Desdemona?”

Ymir went to put her bag down. “Can I just point out that I’m not a man and I’m not black?”

Hanji chortled. “Doesn’t matter! You’ll make a nice Othello. Now stop talking and get up here.”

Ymir did as she was told and walked up to Hanji. She stood beside her calmly, flicking through her book to the act they would be continuing with. Hanji continued to scan the classroom for her next victim. Everyone had gone absolutely silent, no one wanting to be paired up with Ymir. Finally Hanji’s grin widened, and she pointed a long finger right in Historia’s direction.

“Congratulations, Krista. You have the honour of being Othello’s dashing bride. Please join Ymir up in the front.”

Some of the kids started to snicker, even Hitch. Historia’s throat felt constricted, and she swallowed the dryness from her mouth, but obeyed and joined them in front. She didn’t want to look at Ymir, so settled for Hanji instead.

“Alright,” Hanji said, excitement evident in her wide gestures and rapid breathing. “What I want from you, is to not only read, but act. Ymir, imagine that you are Othello, that you are swallowed whole by your passionate love for our lovely Krista here, and that you are so blinded by your insecurity, enraged at the thought that she dare betray you.” Hanji looked between them. “Are we good?” Both of them nodded. “Fantastic. Proceed from Act 5, Scene 2.” Hanji rounded her desk and then sat down, eyes wide and expectant.

Historia’s tummy fluttered with nerves. The book in her hand shook from the force of it, but Ymir seemed as calm as ever. She scanned over the scene for a second, closed her eyes and inhaled, and then when she opened them, they were a swirling gold of hatred and passion the likes of which Historia had never seen before. And then Othello began to speak.

“It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul,” Ymir began. Her accent had entirely vanished, replaced by a smooth, precise English. “Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars, it is the cause. Yet I’ll not shed her blood, nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow and smooth as monumental alabaster. Yet she must die,” Ymir didn’t look at her book again, eyes focused entirely on Historia as her gaze swallowed her whole. “Else she’ll betray more _women,_ ” she altered, shooting a lifted brow at Hanji. The teacher only nodded her head in approval. “Put out the light, and then put out the light. If I quench thee, thou flaming minister, I can again thy former light restore should I repent me. But once put out thy light, thou cunning’st pattern of excelling nature, I know not where is that Promethean heat that can thy light relume. When I have plucked thy rose, I cannot give it vital growth again,” Ymir took a breath. The emotion in her voice was somehow raw, and it seemed to draw everyone in.

“It must needs wither,” she continued. “I’ll smell thee on the tree. Oh, balmy breath, that dost almost persuade justice to break her sword! One more, one more. Be thus when thou art dead and I will kill thee and love thee after.” Ymir strode forward, and Historia realized that Desdemona was supposed to be asleep. She closed her eyes, trembling badly, holding her breath. Othello was supposed to kiss his beloved as he spoke, as she slept. Ymir seemed to know the scene by heart, for she bent down, an arm circling Historia’s waist, and pulled her close. She lowered her face to Historia’s, and then the light touch of her lips brought a soft gasp from Historia’s. But she didn’t kiss her, and then Ymir moved away, voice filling the classroom once more.

“One more, and that’s the last. So sweet was ne’er so fatal. I must weep, but they are cruel tears. This sorrow’s heavenly, it strikes where it doth love. She wakes.”

Historia’s eyes slid open slowly and she blinked. She could feel her cheeks burning harshly. Ymir stared at her purposefully, intensely, and then she realized that it was her turn to speak, and she wet her lips nervously with a swipe of her tongue.

“Wh-who’s there?” she started weakly, voice barely above a whisper. She caught Hanji waving a hand, indicating that she should raise the volume of her voice. She cleared her throat, and then continued. “Othello?”

“Ay, Desdemona,” Ymir drawled deeply, stepping closer once more.

“Will you come to bed, my lord?” she asked. Her voice was stronger this time.

“Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona?”

“Ay, my lord.”

“If you bethink yourself of any crime unreconciled as yet to heaven and grace, solicit for it straight.” Ymir’s gaze burnt into her own. It almost felt personal, the way she stared. Historia tried not to mix her own feelings into this. Ymir was acting the part—doing a breath-taking job of it, too—she wasn’t making this about those years ago. Was she?

Historia drew back, filling her expression with innocent confusion and falling more easily into the character. “Alack, my lord, what do you mean by that?”

Ymir’s expression shifted, from quiet anticipation to a sudden, seething anger, just beneath the surface. It was so subtle, yet so powerful that it made Historia want to turn and run from the class. “Well, do it, and be brief. I will walk by. I would not kill thy unprepared spirit. No, heavens forfend, I would not kill thy soul!”

Historia furrowed her brows as she imagined Desdemona would. “Talk you of killing?”

“Ay, do.”

“Then heaven have mercy on me!”

“Amen, with all my heart,” Ymir said softly, letting the words fall between them. The silence in the class was suddenly deafening, alongside Historia’s thrumming pulse.

Hanji clapped her hands sharply. “That’ll be it!” She stood from her seat, grinning from ear to ear. “That was spectacular. The two of you have quite the chemistry. Have you ever acted together before?”

Ymir slipped her book closed and snorted. The emotions form earlier had bled away from her face, and she once again looked disinterested and bored. “Nah. It’s just easy to pretend.” Her eyes then flicked to Historia, and she knew it had been an insult aimed at her.

Hanji shooed them back to their seats and then took over the lesson. They didn’t read anymore of the scene, since Hanji wanted the class to discuss what they had read and analyse it. Most of the kids were asking for translations, though, because they didn’t understand the English.

Historia sat at her desk, numbly staring at her worn copy of _Othello._ Voices swirled around her head. The only one that mattered was Ymir, and her words from earlier echoed through Historia’s ears. Historia lifted her fingertips and brushed them along her lips, remembering the ghost sensation of a kiss that never happened.

From across the room Ymir stared at her. Her eyes looked darker than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The song Ymir listened to was the cover of Torn by James TW.
> 
> Preview of chapter 9:
> 
> “I disgust you?” Her breath was soft, a whisper, but it was deadly. “Look at you!” She gestured wildly with her hands. “You were an animal,” the word was spat with venom. “You’re fucking covered in blood.”
> 
> Ymir stood, grinning wickedly. “Yes, get it all out. Scream at me. Swear at me. You know you want to. Fucking do it.”
> 
> Krista strode forward, and then she grabbed fistfuls of Ymir’s shirt and shook her.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posted a day early because I feel like shit and this story gives me life. enjoy

Ymir had read through Othello enough times that she knew it intimately. She felt like she could relate to Othello’s story, though she did think that Othello was a terrible character. He was too quick to trust those around him, thus leading him into such an unfortunate trap. Othello had been manipulated, yes, but his own insecurities had led him to kill the one woman that loved him. Desdemona had her flaws. She was too innocent, too loving.

The road down to the mall was empty, devoid of cars and people, besides Ymir. She liked it that way, and focused a little more intently on her copy of Othello. It wasn’t the school copy. That one sat on her desk at home. No, she had her own that she had picked up at the start of high school, before she was even required to read it. It was in surprisingly good condition despite the fact, though Ymir had opened the book too many times to count.

She entered the mall, grateful for the air conditioning, and flipped over to act 5, scene 2. She read over the parts she and Krista had acted, and then read them again. Her body went on autopilot, carrying her through the mall and to Titan Falls. She was ushered to her usual seat and then the waitress took her order of the usual—a chocolate milkshake.

Ymir knew the scene well, yet as she reread it for the fourth time, a strange wash of emotion took over her. She found that she could relate to Othello well. His fury at Desdemona, his embarrassment and despair. She had felt it all. How amusing that Hanji had selected her and Krista to play the parts. They fit so well.

Ymir pulled her literature workbook from her bag, and then prepared to work on her essay for Othello. They were required to choose between three themes that explored different elements of the play. Ymir chose the one that claimed Desdemona was Othello’s downfall, and why her flimsy character had allowed it. She grinned a little as she worked on the mind map, and then her grin faded away as she started on the first draft.

Two milkshakes and an hour later, Ymir received a text from Ilse saying she would be extra late. So she used the rest of her time to finish editing her essay, and then re-wrote the whole thing for the final. When she was done, she gave it one more read, satisfied, and then shoved the book into her bag. Still sitting on the counter, Othello beckoned to her, but Ymir didn’t pick it up again. She rested her fingertips against the soft glossy cover.

She supposed she could attempt to do her art again, though that had been proving a little more difficult for her. Which was unusual. Ymir prided herself in being pretty damn good at art. Yet, every time she picked up that pencil, her inspiration fled her. Ever since she had almost drawn Krista, her hands simply did not want to create art. She didn’t blame them.

Ymir relaxed in her seat, contemplating over Othello and her art. She decided that she needed music, and popped her earphones in. She scrolled through her playlist until she landed on the perfect song. _Howl_ by Florence and the Machine filled her ears.

Inspiration hit like a tidal wave. Ymir jerked at the force of it, heart suddenly pounding in excitement. She pulled her sketch pad out of her bag, grabbed her pencil and then began to feverishly sketch. She used thick, dark lines and waves of shading. Another hour later, Ymir stared down at her first completed sketch. It was perfect. Though Ymir felt a little apprehension, she decided to shrug it away. An artist couldn’t deny their muse, right? But the image made her heart ache, and she ran a finger down the face staring up at her from the page.

It was a sad face, contorted in both grief and anger, in front of a mirror showing another face smiling with opposing kindness and warmth. Ymir fussed with a few of the details, and then started packing her stuff away. Ilse was probably on her way, anyway. Ymir paid for her milkshakes, thanked the staff—they knew her by name—and then walked lazily back out into the hot afternoon sun. _Dangerous Woman_ by Ariana Grande began to play.

A short breeze ruffled Ymir’s hair, making her glare up into the sky. Suddenly something collided into her side, and she almost fell onto her face. She managed to just catch her balance, and pulled one earphone out with a deepening scowl on her face. A boy straightened, not even looking at her, swatting at his friend.

“Man, fuck off,” he laughed, shoving his friend away. “I nearly fell over, dude.”

“Yeah that was the point.”

Ymir closed her fist. Anger suddenly and viciously blossomed inside of her. She stepped forward and pulled the kid away from his friend, and then she pulled her lip back in a snarl. “Watch where you throw your trash, _moron_ ,” she rolled the _r_ , unable to keep her accent at bay when anger coursed through every vein in her body. She shoved him away from her.

“What the fuck?” the first guy yelled, face reddening. “It was an accident, you psycho!”

The second friend took a step forward, eyes narrowed. “Oi, isn’t this that foreign transfer student? The one that tried to hurt Krista and Hitch?”

Ymir reacted strongly to their names. Her heart gave a hard, heavy thud, and she clenched her hands even harder, bleeding them white. The music still filtering into one ear tapered off into nothing in the wake of her fury. “What the fuck of it?” she growled.

“We should kick your fucking ass,” Friend One yelled back. “What kinda nut case are you?”

“A dead one, that’s who,” Friend Two added, grinning.

The two of them advanced, grins wicked and eyes even more so. Ymir met their stares with a fierce one of her own, and when she smirked long and wide, they paused and hesitated. Ymir lifted a brow.

“What’s wrong?” she drawled, still grinning. “Aren’t you going to teach me a lesson?” She jerked forward menacingly, sick satisfaction rolling down her spine when they stumbled back.

“What the fuck?” Friend One growled. “Grab her!”

They got over their initial fright and went for Ymir, but she was faster and running on pure anger. She moved away from outreached hands, and then she elbowed Friend One hard in the throat. He collapsed immediately, coughing and convulsing. Friend Two became just as enraged, but that made him slower and less precise. He swung loose fists that Ymir deflected with her open palms. She danced on her feet, laughing loudly when she slashed out and broke his nose with the side of her fist. Blood gushed out and onto his face, the concrete and Ymir’s hand. Friend One climbed back onto his feet, and managed to slam into Ymir from behind, sending her to the ground. Shouting drew close, but Ymir ignored it in favour of driving her fist into the idiot’s face over and over until he was pulled off of her and someone trapped her arms behind her back. She stilled, the red haze fading from her eyes, and noticed that another group of people had joined them.

“We leave you alone for two seconds and you get your asses handed to you,” a guy growled. He had spikey red hair and a nasty glint in his eyes that Ymir didn’t like. Another guy stood at her back, and he was fucking huge. He easily lifted her off of her feet despite her height.

“She started it!” Friend One shouted, pointing a finger. He was still rubbing his throat, and there was a small trickle of blood at his lip. Friend Two wasn’t so lucky, and blood gushed out of his nose in a long, steady stream. Another guy stepped up to him and handed a balled up t-shirt to him.

“I don’t care who the fuck started it,” Spikey growled. His gaze turned on Ymir. “No one hurts my friends.”

“She’s that chick from school,” Friend Two mumbled into the shirt. “The one that threatened Hitch.”

Spikey’s eyes narrowed. “Well, that’s some vital information, isn’t it?”

Ymir’s breathing was heavy and ragged. “Fuck you,” she spat. “ _Āta skit och dö_!” _Eat shit and die._

Spikey and his friends all burst into laughter, minus Friend One and Two, who were too busy whining about their injuries. Quicker than a flash, Spikey lashed out and punched Ymir across the face. She felt her lip split and watched her blood spray into the air. When she turned back to face him, she grinned viciously.

“My fucking grandma can hit better than that, _bitch.”_

Spikey’s eyes filled with unconcealed rage. He drew back to punch again, and Ymir fully expected to have her lights knocked out, but then a sweet voice cut through the air like a razor, and Spikey spun around on his heels.

“Krista!”

Ymir’s heart stuttered.

Krista stepped into the group, eyeing the guys holding their injuries and Ymir still held above the ground. Something flickered in her gaze, but then it disappeared and a sickeningly sweet smile took her lips. Ymir felt sick looking at her. And suddenly, she realized exactly what Krista was.

“Sam, your guys look hurt,” she stated innocently, blue eyes wide. “Maybe you should get to a hospital. Should I call for an ambulance? Or my mother to drive you guys?”

Sam blushed deeply and rubbed the back of his neck. The others desperately tried not to look like they had just been in a fight, but Friend Two’s nose was still bleeding and Friend One looked like he was having trouble breathing.

“Nah, we’re cool,” Sam responded sheepishly. “Sorry that you had to walk here and see this.”

Krista’s blonde brows connected. She reached out and gently touched Sam’s arm. “It’s okay, it happens. Just, don’t fight like this. It’s not…” she titled her head, as if the words escaped her. “It’s not nice.”

Sam flushed deeper. “I’m so sorry, Krista. We’ll leave right now. We just wanted to defend yours and Hitch’s honour.”

Krista’s eyes warmed as she beamed. “That’s so sweet of you, but I’d rather it not be done with violence.”

Sam smiled at her. He flicked his hand and Mr Muscle dropped Ymir to the ground. She landed on her hands and knees, grimacing when the concrete scraped her skin. “What, you going to let a tiny princess tell you what to do?” she snarled, blood dripping down her chin.

Sam glanced down at her, but the fire had left his eyes. His group had already started walking away. “You aren’t worth it anymore,” Sam told her. “You’re pathetic.” And then he turned and stalked off, and Ymir glared hell’s fire at his back.

Krista lingered, gaze on the ground. Her cheerfulness from earlier was gone. So up close, Ymir could see the dark bruises underneath her eyes. Krista looked so hollow, and it made Ymir remember her realization from earlier, and she grinned.

“I finally figured you out,” she muttered. She sat down and rubbed a sleeve over her bloody chin and mouth. “You mirror.”

Krista’s blue eyes snapped upwards. Her gaze was icy. “Mirror?”

“You’re empty inside,” Ymir explained thoughtfully. “Right? Little Krista really is an air head. But she can’t handle that, now can she? So you mirror. You stand in front of someone, and you reflect them right back at themselves. Have you ever said a damn word for yourself?” Ymir spat a wad of blood onto the concrete. “You disgust me.”

Krista took a short inhale of breath, and when Ymir looked at her, the hollowness was gone. Her eyes were filled with fierce emotion, the likes of which Ymir had only seen in the mirror. Which was funny, when she thought about it. Krista wasn’t mirroring Ymir back at herself. No. In the shadow of her truth, her façade slipped.

“I disgust you?” Her breath was soft, a whisper, but it was deadly. “Look at you!” She gestured wildly with her hands. “You were an _animal,_ ” the word was spat with venom. “You’re fucking covered in blood.”

Ymir stood, grinning wickedly. “Yes, get it all out. Scream at me. Swear at me. You know you want to. Fucking do it.”

Krista strode forward, and then she grabbed fistfuls of Ymir’s shirt and shook her. “I can’t stand looking at you every single day! It makes me sick to my goddamn stomach. I look at you, and I feel like I should rather be dead. You look at me like you think so too. Do you have any idea how I feel, Ymir? How I’ve felt all these years? You left and you were supposed to stay gone. But you fucking returned, and I have this aching, gaping hole where my soul should be!”

Ymir was taken aback by the admissions. Her glee and adrenalin dissipated. Krista was staring into her eyes, unflinching, honest and harsh. Every bit of grace and kindness that marred Krista’s face was gone. Someone else was clutching at Ymir’s shirt then, someone that no one had seen, that desperately wanted to stand underneath the spotlight. Ymir grabbed hold of Krista’s wrists, and then she shoved her away like the touch of her burnt.

“No one had ever made me feel as small,” she said softly, with feeling. “As you did.” She pointed right at Krista’s chest. “So don’t whine about how _your_ life was miserable. Try walking a mile in my shoes first. Imagine feeling like an ant, and being stepped on and destroyed with every fucking breath you take.”

Krista clutched at her chest, face contorted in agony. “I do know!” she shouted. “I know more than you realize! I can’t even use my actual fucking name because it stings when I hear it! Because I don’t know who or what I am!” Tears filled her eyes, and then they spilled heavily down her pale cheeks. “I feel so insignificant. And I just…” Their gazes met. “I regret what I did to you, Ymir. I regret it more than anything else. I should never have told you to leave me alone. I was weak and stupid, and I’m sorry, okay?” She inhaled around a wracking, harsh sob. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Ymir swallowed. They were making one hell of a scene. From her fight with those idiots, to this. What _was_ this? Krista was falling apart right in front of her. The last person Ymir wanted to associate with, had cracked under her words. Had no one ever taken a second, glanced meaningfully at Krista, and seen the depths to which she hid her own identity? Had no one reached out and slapped that hand away?

No. Just like no one had ever mended Ymir’s heart.

Suddenly Ymir could hear her music again, the harsh ebb and flow of her anger gone. “ ** _All I wanted was you_** _,_ ” screamed into her ear, and she pressed a palm against her aching heart. It fucking hurt. _It hurt._

“Can I ask one thing of you?” Ymir breathed, searching Historia’s wet face.

Historia sniffled, and then she wiped at her face and nodded. “Sure.”

“When you’re ready…” Ymir hesitated. She tightened her grip on her bag, swallowing. Heat washed over her, colouring her cheeks. This time it wasn’t anger she felt. Nor humiliation or anxiety. It was fear. “Will you tell me your real name?”

Krista’s eyes widened. She opened her mouth, but it hung there, words on the cusp of her tongue, but never falling out. Ymir glared at her, and then she slumped her shoulders and sighed. From across the parking lot Ymir spotted Ilse sitting quietly in her car and watching her. She had probably seen a lot of what had happened. She knew about Krista. She knew everything. And from the fierce expression on her face, Ymir was sure that she would be scolded into a new millennium, and then babied until her hurt was soothed away. She took a shaky breath and turned her back on Krista.

“O-okay…” Ymir paused. She didn’t turn around. Krista’s voice was faint and hesitant, but it was there. “I will. I promise.”

Ymir wasn’t sure she could ever trust a word out of Krista’s mouth, but she smiled anyway. And somehow, she got the sense that Krista did as well. As she walked over to Ilse, Ymir felt Krista’s eyes on her. For once it didn’t fill her stomach with acid. Her heart felt lighter than it had in years, yet heavier all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 preview:
> 
> Historia took a breath. Had it really only been a handful of days? She had woken and waltzed through the weeks like the robot she pretended she wasn’t, and then Ymir entered into the fold, and suddenly she felt all too human and alive. 
> 
> Ymir huffed, rolling over onto her side, and then stared listlessly across the dark expanse of her room. She felt open like that, spread vulnerable and forced to be still with her thoughts. They were not quiet, nor were they nice.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am obsessed with Mass Effect again. Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> P.S: I HIGHLY suggest listening to Mountains of the Moon - Bayou for this chapter. Trust me.

_A shot to the veins_  
Taste the rush  
I was lost on an escape to love  
Untraceable

Historia lay in bed, unable to sleep for the swirling thoughts in her head. For the first time in her life, she had stared at her reflection and hadn’t seen the cold, dead eyes of her mother, or the sharp, uncaring eyes of her father. She saw… Historia. She saw the person that she was, but someone that she didn’t yet know. She lifted her own hands, reached up to grab for the ceiling, and then stared at the shadowy shape of her forearms and wrists. She felt… calm. The calmest she had ever been. Despite the fact that hours earlier, she had spewed her guts to the worst person ever. Ymir. What Ymir’s eyes did to her… that gaze burnt right through her, but maybe it was because of that, that Historia felt oddly in place. The empty darkness of her room usually unnerved her, but now it served as a comfort.

_It’s not the same  
Not enough_

Ymir huffed, rolling over onto her side, and then stared listlessly across the dark expanse of her room. She felt open like that, spread vulnerable and forced to be still with her thoughts. They were not quiet, nor were they nice. Sparks of memories shot through her, of Krista, of years before and hours ago. She remembered kind blue eyes for what they were, then—vacant, desperate. She twisted onto her back, frowning and scrubbing a hand over her face. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with this new information. With what she knew now, she could look back and see every interaction that she had misunderstood. Krista had barely been a person. Even now, she grappled desperately for something to validate herself, and thus fell for anything. Why did Ymir even care? She had vowed to hate Krista until her dying breath. But seeing things now, through different eyes that had the experience of another’s pain, she wasn’t so sure. Was clinging on to that petty, bitter hate even worth it? Was there a point to it all?

_You and me was like a vivid dream  
Why’d you wake me up?_

Historia took a breath. Had it really only been a handful of days? She had woken and waltzed through the weeks like the robot she pretended she wasn’t, and then Ymir entered into the fold, and suddenly she felt all too human and alive. She felt pain and hurt, like poison in her veins, eating her up in the inside. Since that first day many years ago, something in Ymir’s brown gaze had called to her. Maybe she had been too scared to answer it. Maybe she felt like she’d never deserved it. She buried her face against her pillow, smelling the faint scent of her shampoo. _Lavender._ She relaxed her suddenly tense muscles, and fisted the sheets around her chest, pulling them all the way up to her reddened cheeks. Her eyes squeezed shut, but she still felt like they were wide open

_Why’d you wake me up?_

Ymir’s lip still ached, but the swelling had gone down. She would most likely have a bruise at the corner of her mouth, but it had been worth it. Ilse had nearly throttled her to death but… considering what had happened afterwards, Ymir would have chosen to take that punch again and again. She couldn’t quite understand her feelings, or her spiralling thoughts that seemed to focus only on one simple thing; Krista. Ever since that day 10 years ago, Ymir had felt herself in need of her. But those feelings were gone, squished by kid Ymir’s tiny fist. What remained were feelings of angst and bitterness. Or were they? Ymir felt the moonlight more than saw it, as it gently lapped through the thin material of her curtains. The window was open, allowing a small breeze. She shifted her gaze to the window, to the glowing dot of the moon that she could just barely make out. Her body felt hot, so she kicked off her blanket and huffed again. All this thinking was making her head spin and spin, and she knew she would fall asleep with a headache if she didn’t let herself rest. But the mind was a loud thing, and it seldom quieted at her request.

 _You were my coming down_  
My solid ground  
Paramount

Historia wondered what Ymir was doing, then chastised herself for the very thought. She imagined what Ymir would think had she known that Historia wondered, and found herself grinning stupidly into the dark. The echoing _tick tock_ of her clock filled her ears, followed by the soft _thump thump thump_ of her unrelenting heart. It was strong, she would give it that. She thought about Othello then, suddenly, and frowned. Oh how he had let his emotions cloud everything else. Was she like that, too? Did she let everyone around her pull and tug and toss until she was unravelled into nothing but a mess of thread and needle? Ymir’s words echoed through her ears. _“_ _Have you ever said a damn word for yourself?”_ Had she truly? The fact that Historia sifted through her memories, and saw nothing but the sweetly smiling Krista, made her heart squeeze painfully. She hadn’t even realized it before. Krista was the mask she fit so easily over herself. It fit like a glove, after all. But what was she to do?

 _Distant screams_  
The biggest lie   
What are we if never intertwined?

Ymir felt the edges of exhaustion tug at her mind, yet it would not solidly take her. It had been years since she had stayed up so late, lost in thought. She knew she wouldn’t be able to rest properly until she sorted her mind out, fit her thoughts into their neat little files, stowed away to either forget, or analyse later. But she was so tired. She ached, and her limbs felt heavy. Her chest had that sharp burn that never seemed to go away, no matter how many times she rubbed at the spot. She denied its existence most of the time, but at the back of her mind, a very afraid voice spoke out for her, declared, “ _Your heart is broken.”_ Ymir wondered what Krista was doing.

 _Forever undefined_  
Take my hand  
Now or not at all

Historia felt her phone vibrate, and grabbed for it on her bedside table. It was Hitch. Her text read, ‘ _still awake, Kris?_ ’ The name made her frown, and her thumbs hovered over her keyboard for a long while. She wondered if Ymir had a phone. Of course she did. What was her number? What would Ymir say if Historia texted her? Block her number? Send her rude insults? Do nothing at all? The thoughts gnawed the inside of her brain. ‘ _Almost asleep,’_ she lied, typing in quick, fluid taps. ‘ _See you tomorrow, H.’_ Hitch never responded, so Historia set her phone back down and curled into a ball. She longed to feel that emotion again. When Ymir had urged her on, waves of it had overcome her. Things she had kept herself from feeling for years and years. Fear. Joy. Hatred. Love. Loneliness. Affection. Anxiety. Calmness. Warmth. Confidence. Acceptance. Something about Ymir’s gaze accepted her, even though her words did not. Historia felt stupid and foolish for thinking so wistfully. When did her feelings for Ymir change from general animosity to genuine curiosity, to an almost sick longing? What was this feeling? It twisted her stomach, pulled at her heart. Historia dipped her head underneath her pillow, flustered and suddenly unbalanced. She wished she could just fall asleep.

 _Sow a seed, grow a plant_  
Watch it spire tall  
Ever higher  
My love

Ymir fingered the waistband of her boxers, legs pulled up to her chest. She could hear Ilse speaking in the next room, laughing and joking. Hearing Ilse sound so happy made her happy in return. She only wanted Ilse’s pride and love, and she didn’t feel weak thinking so. She wondered if Krista had a sister, or someone she held dear. Did she have family to go home to? “Why do I even care?” she muttered to herself, shocked into silence at the sudden slice of her voice in the darkness. She dissociated her room with reality, and felt almost weightless as she rested in her bed. Sighing, she uncurled herself and stretched out on the mattress. Her eyes began to droop low, and she didn’t fight them.

 _Nights are longer now_  
And I am, I am stronger  
Without you

Historia frowned. Sleep would not take her. Did she still have homework? Oh yes, the Othello essay. After her performance with Ymir, she hadn’t been able to touch the book, much less think critically enough to write about it. But she couldn’t hold that back. She needed to keep her marks up to standard, because while her parents were absent when it suited them, they could also suddenly consume themselves with her when it suited them. When it met their ends. For the first time in her life, Historia admitted that she hated them. She pictured Ymir’s smirk, the fire in her golden eyes, and thought, _I hate them._ It was freeing.

 _I have come around_  
Life is ocean, we were just travellers in the bayou   
In the bayou  
That we outgrew

She pulled the covers around herself, wondering what the next day would bring, and the day after that. She felt a powerful throb between her ribs, and pressed her hand to it. She passed by the memories of years ago, pushed them aside when they began to hurt. She had realized and accepted a lot in the course of the day. And then she let her body dip further into her mattress, and her eyes became much too heavy. Her breaths, her heartbeats, all fluttered in her ears, in the darkness. With a tiny, weary smile, they let sleep take them. It was a welcomed relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 11:
> 
> Ymir rolled her eyes. “Are you going to cry?”
> 
> “N-No.” Krista’s breath hitched again, and she sniffled. They were mostly alone on the school grounds, since all of the students had already left for class. Their hands were still linked, and Ymir didn’t feel inclined to let it go. “Can I hug you?”


	11. Chapter 11

“Krista is staring at you.”

Ymir slid her eyes open, glaring at the side of Sasha’s head. “So what.”

“Why is she staring at you?” Sasha chewed on her sandwich, but she made it all too obvious that she was staring. Had she no tact at all? Apparently not.

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

Sasha swallowed. “I heard this weird rumour that you and Krista kissed in Hanji’s class. What’s up with that?”

Ymir choked on her bread. She sat up quickly, pounding her chest until whatever had gone down dislodged and she could breathe again. Sasha merely eyed her curiously, a brown eyebrow lifted. “We did not…” she cleared her throat, face burning. Why the fuck was she reacting like this? “Hanji had us perform Othello together. The scene had Othello kiss Desdemona.”

Sasha hummed to herself. “How soft are her lips?”

Ymir’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

Sasha grinned broadly, wiggling her brows. “Hey, I found something that flusters you. I’m going to milk this for all it’s worth. Seriously though, Krista keeps looking at you. Were you guys friends before or something?”

Appetite gone, Ymir set her bread aside and then leaned against the brick wall at her back. She could see Krista and her group out of the corner of her eye, and resisted the urge to look. “No,” she answered casually, hiding the layers of emotion in that one simple word. “We were never friends.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Can we please stop talking about Krista?”

Sasha nodded. “That’s fine,” she said. Then she pointed. “Also Krista is standing next to you.”

Ymr’s eyes flew open in surprise. Krista was, in fact, standing right next to her. She looked mildly confused, but Ymir saw the carefully placed mask over her face. Without being able to control it, her heart began to pound.

“What do you want?” she asked harshly.

Krista smiled. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

Sasha eyed Ymir, grinning. She muttered a quiet, “oooh, Ymir is in trouble,” and then dodged the stick Ymir threw at her head. “I’ll head to class early, then,” she said, still laughing. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

Ymir huffed and watched as Sasha walked away. Krista hovered awkwardly beside her, and then eventually sat down and cleared her throat. Ymir expected her to speak. She didn’t. Hitch glared over at them, but Ymir ignored them. Being this close to Krista flustered her like nothing ever had. If she wanted to she could reach over and touch her. She furrowed her brows at the thought. Ymir didn’t move a muscle.

“About yesterday…” Krista finally started.

Ymir shifted, uncomfortable. “What about it?”

“I… said some pretty personal things,” she said. “I just wanted to apologize for making you listen to that.”

Ymir snorted. “No you don’t.”

Krista looked at her, brows furrowed. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Ymir sighed. “I see right through you,” she informed her. “You came over here to make sure I didn’t tell anyone what you told me. That you feel insignificant, and that you’ve lied to everyone that calls you ‘Krista’. Am I right?”

Krista glanced away, teeth digging into her bottom lip. A long beat of silence followed, and then understanding filled Krista’s eyes, and she nodded. “Oh. You’re right.”

“You don’t need to police me.” Krista looked at her, surprised. “I don’t like you, but that doesn’t mean I want to go out of my way to do horrible shit to you. I’m not a bully, Krista.” The unspoken _not like you_ hung in the air between them. Krista seemed to hear it, too. For all the pretending and faking Krista did, she seemed very attuned to the things that people left unsaid. Maybe that was how she learnt to manipulate people. She was very good at it, and she didn’t even realize.

“Can I also ask a favour of you?”

Ymir started to slowly tap her fingertips against her thigh. Her stomach fluttered. “Depends on what it is.”

“Can we start over?”

Ymir lifted a brow. When their eyes met, she realized that Krista was very nervous. Her throat bobbed each time she swallowed, and her chest heaved just a little too quickly. Somehow, knowing that she was just as anxious put Ymir at ease. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, as acquaintances.  Can we just, clean the slate?”

Ymir’s fingers stilled. “You want me to forget how you hurt me ten years ago?”

Krista sighed. “Yes.”

“Okay.” Krista’s head shot up, blue eyes wide and filled with emotion.

“Seriously?”

“Sure.” Ymir, for the first time in years, grinned at Krista. “I came here to live out the last year of high school in peace. I honestly did not come here to start drama at every corner.”

Krista looked towards her friends. They were shooting her looks, probably wondering why she was sitting with the freak. Ymir felt a small sense of glee that Krista sat next to her despite her friends’ obvious objections. “Hitch thinks you came back to get revenge on everyone that picked on you.”

“I may be a bitter bitch, but I’m not evil. I’m not like her.” She pointed at Hitch, glad when Hitch noticed and frowned at her.

“I know,” Krista admitted quietly. “I know because you never approached us. Hitch went for you first, then she got mad when you turned around and rejected her. She’s… very difficult to handle when she doesn’t get her own way.”

“I can see that,” Ymir drawled. “I couldn’t stand having a friend like that.”

“Sasha seems really nice though,” Krista suddenly added. Her smile this time was small, but genuine. There was just something in it that made Ymir’s heart beat harder. “I’m glad that you have a friend that will treat you well.”

Ymir wanted to correct her, but all that came out of her mouth was a choked, “thanks.” She flushed slightly, and then the bell rang and Krista stood. She held her hand out for Ymir, smiling down at her.

“So, are we good?”

Ymir hesitated for a very long second. Her heart raced almost painfully. She took Krista’s hand and then stood, but didn’t let go. Krista’s breath hitched.

“Hi,” Ymir started seriously. “My name is Ymir Wikström. It’s nice to meet you.”

Krista’s eyes filled with tears, but they didn’t fall. Her hand tightened around Ymir’s. “Hi, Ymir,” she choked out softly. “I’m Krista Reiss. That’s not my real name, but one day I’ll tell you what it is. It’s nice to meet you too.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Are you going to cry?”

“N-No.” Krista’s breath hitched again, and she sniffled. They were mostly alone on the school grounds, since all of the students had already left for class. Their hands were still linked, and Ymir didn’t feel inclined to let it go. “Can I hug you?”

Ymir went rigid. She swallowed thickly, but the sudden lump there wouldn’t go down. As much as she wanted to run away, her legs wouldn’t move. And before she realized what she was doing, she was nodding. Krista looked just as surprised as she felt, and then Krista leaned up onto the tips of her toes, and her arms wrapped around Ymir’s neck. She was tugged down due to their height, and then she circled Krista’s waist with her arms and their bodies pressed together.

“I’m sorry, Ymir.” Her embrace tightened almost painfully. She was shaking. “I’m sorry that I let them bully you. I’m sorry that I smiled and pretended that I cared. I’m sorry that I didn’t show it when I truly did care. That I left you all on your own when they hurt you. I hurt you, and I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. But I just want you to know that I hate myself each and every day.”

Ymir stared down at the ground, quietly listening to Krista’s tear heavy voice. Her chest tingled suddenly, and then she clutched a little tighter, bringing Krista as firmly up against her as she could, and inhaled. Krista smelt like lavender.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m sorry that I was such an irritating kid.”

“You weren’t, Ymir. You were really sweet. I wanted to be your friend, but I was too scared.”

Ymir sighed. “I don’t like you yet,” she said. “And I don’t trust you. But I hear what you’re saying, Krista. I understand your words. And I appreciate them. If you give me time, maybe I can be okay with you.”

Krista sucked in a heavy breath. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

“Okay.”

“We should get to class.”

Krista nodded, but neither of them made a move to separate. Ymir suddenly became very aware of how close they were, of how Krista fit against her front, soft chest and tummy. She was so small, but undeniably warm.

Ymir selfishly soaked in that warmth. She was reminded of how Krista had made her feel years ago, and that thought scared her enough to pull away. But Krista was smiling at her, and then she took Ymir’s hand with a touch of hesitance, and pulled her towards class.

Without knowing why, Ymir let her.

XxX

Last period Maths was always the most boring, but their teacher usually left them to do their own thing after explaining what they were expected to do. Historia decided she would do her work at Titan Falls after school, so she lazily doodled flowers across an empty page of her book. She had her earphones in, _Dance with the Devil_ by Breaking Benjamin filling her ears. She thought about Ymir the entire time, hardly able not to. It had taken absolutely all of her courage to approach Ymir, and then they had shook hands and hugged. Historia thought back to the embrace and felt herself blushing. Ymir had been so warm. Nothing had ever felt so _right,_ being in her arms like that. Historia was terrified of what that meant for her. In a simple week, what had her feelings for Ymir turned into?

Nanaba sat next to her—this was the only class they shared—diligently working on her classwork while most of the other students spoke loudly to each other. Hitch sat behind Historia, so when she leaned over and tapped her on the back, Historia twisted around to see her.

“Hmm?” she pulled an earphone out.

“What’s up with you and the foreigner?” Hitch asked bluntly.

Nanaba lifted her head, distracted by their voices. “Foreigner?” she asked. “You mean that new kid?”

Hitch nodded at her. “Yeah. Krissie here went over to chat with her during second break.”

Nanaba’s brows furrowed, and Historia’s happiness from earlier began to ebb away. “She wasn’t nasty to you, was she?” Nanaba asked. “I heard things about her.”

Historia frowned. “It was nothing,” she answered offhandedly. “I just wanted to speak to her about something. And she was fine. Don’t listen to everything you hear.”

Nanaba flushed slightly. “I’m sorry, Krista. You’re right.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Hitch muttered. “Will you text me later?” The look in her eyes was hungry, so Historia merely nodded her head. She knew that Hitch wouldn’t let it go. She would explain it then, but not where Nanaba could hear her.

For some reason, thinking about Ymir while Nanaba sat there made her feel guilty. “So, the game was moved, right? To what date?” Historia asked, desperate to change the topic.

“Wednesday,” Nanaba responded. “It looked like it would rain during the weekend, so Rose High rescheduled.”

Hitch snorted. “Pussies. God, I hate the Roses.”

Historia’s lips pressed together. Words suddenly bubbled up her throat, and with Ymir’s voice still in her ears, they rose to the surface. “Can you never say anything nice, or are you just indefinitely bitter?”

Hitch’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened, but she didn’t say anything and only stared. Historia swallowed thickly, surprised at her outburst but morbidly satisfied by it. Nanaba started snickering. The sound snapped Hitch out of her shock, and she sent Nanaba a harsh glare.

“What’s so fucking funny?” Hitch growled.

Nanaba grinned. “She’s right, you know. You only ever have horrible things to say about people. Plus, Krista has never spoken against you before. You should have seen the look on your face.”

Hitch flushed in embarrassment. Historia didn’t miss the questioning gaze Hitch sent her. She turned back around, grinning happily to herself and then popped her earphones back in. Nanaba’s hand found its way onto her thigh as she continued working on her math, and Historia covered it with her own.

She felt more alive than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 12:
> 
> Ymir slipped a little lower in her seat. She didn’t want Krista to see her. Would Krista come over and greet her? 
> 
> “Here ya go.” The waitress appeared out of nowhere again and set the glass of water down. “Anything else?”
> 
> “No, thank you.” Ymir pulled the glass closer and then took a deep swallow. She suddenly felt very thirsty.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I'm creating a Patreon where I plan on writing 4 stories a month based on my readers' submissions and votes. Anyone seriously interested? It's not up yet because I'm still sorting out the details, but I hope to have it ready end of the month. My mother is living with me now, and I can't even afford to feed myself. So yeah. Lots of stress and I really need the support. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!

The final bell couldn’t have rung sooner. As usual, students stood and rushed out of the class, desperate to leave school to do whatever it was they did with their spare time. Historia took her time packing her stuff away. Nanaba had kissed her on the forehead and then rushed out, muttering something about Mr Smith needing to talk to her again. Historia missed her. They hadn’t been able to hang out after school in over a week, and Historia had been forced to do some pretty deep thinking, what with nothing else really distracting her.

“It’s raining,” Hitch commented dryly, waiting by Historia’s desk. “You still heading to Titan Falls?”

Historia stalled a little longer, lingering in her seat until too much time had passed. Hitch was still there, studying her face very carefully. A flicker of emotion clouded her eyes, and she seemed like she wanted to say something. “Yeah,” Historia answered.

Hitch’s jaws tensed, and then she nodded. “Alright. See you tomorrow then.” She dipped her head in farewell and then headed out of the class. Historia stared at her back for a moment, taken aback by her strange behaviour. Normally Hitch would have jumped at her for information, but she had practically fled from the classroom. Had Historia’s back talk really upset her that much?

It didn’t matter if it did, because Historia didn’t regret it.

Without Nanaba at her side and Hitch gone as well, Historia was forced to walk alone. She clutched at her bag a little too tightly, and left the dry air of the classroom. It really was raining, the clouds dark and heavy above. There was a flash of lightning in the distance, a clap of thunder moments later. Students shouted and rushed, lifting bags above their heads and popping umbrellas open. Historia hadn’t thought to bring one, so she shrugged out of her jacket and used that to cover her bag—she couldn’t afford to get all of her books wet.

Historia left the building and stepped out into the rain. Harsh, heavy drops splashed against her skin, chilling her first before dripping down her chin and into her clothes. She hurried her steps, though the rain didn’t worry her. The mall was close enough, but she knew she would still be drenched by the time she reached it.

She took the walk slowly, enjoying the rain. There was just something calming about the sound of the rain on the road, the feel of the water pelting into her and sliding along her skin. She began to shiver but did not feel the cold, and that made Historia smile.

XxX

Ymir smoothed her wet hair back, frowning and glaring down into her milkshake. It had rained so suddenly, damnit, and she hadn’t brought an umbrella. Ilse had warned her. But she was a stubborn asshole sometimes. Though the rain was a nice respite. It was February, and it was hot.

Deciding for once not to work on anything school related, Ymir pulled her earphones out and then retrieved her sketch pad. Drawing was therapeutic, she had discovered. Many years ago Ymir had picked up a pencil and began to draw, and ever since she used that to fill up the holes she sometimes found in her heart. It allowed her to escape, to vent, to create. Ymir had a pile of books filled to the brim with drawings and ideas that no one had ever seen—not even Ilse.

Ymir started drawing anything that came to mind. Her phone buzzed halfway, and she snorted when she read Sasha’s text.

**_Sasha:_ ** _So it rained and I decided to head over to Connie’s. You still going to Titan Falls? Sorry I couldn’t accompany you again! You must be so lonely_

**_Ymir:_ ** _Sasha, I’m fine. I don’t care what you do. We aren’t friends, remember?_

**_Sasha:_ ** _Sure thing ‘Mir. Now don’t hit those books too hard, alright?_

**_Ymir_ ** _: I will resist the temptation_

**_Sasha_ ** _: Speaking of… you going to the rugby match on Wednesday? Rose High will be over, so Connie will be there. He plays in their team._

Ymir exhaled and set her pencil aside to type quicker.

**_Ymir_ ** _: No_

**_Sasha_ ** _: What! Why not???? Krista will be there~_

**_Ymir_ ** _: So?_

**_Sasha_ ** _: Oh come on. Please?_

**_Ymir_ ** _: I said no_

**_Sasha_ ** _: Pweeeeeeease?_

**_Ymir_ ** _: If I say yes will you stop texting me?_

**_Sasha_ ** _: That can be arranged_

**_Ymir_ ** _: Then fine. I’ll go. But you owe me. I’m keeping track_

**_Sasha_ ** _: Okay, if you want. See you tomorrow, buddy! Say hi to that waitress that has the hots for you_

**_Ymir_ ** _: Sasha I swear to god_

Ymir shook her head, smiling. She set her phone aside and ignored it when it buzzed again. Though she still denied the fact that they were friends—which they totally weren’t—she could admit to herself that she sort of missed Sasha’s company. She was loud and obnoxious, but she had the kind of personality that leapt right over Ymir’s walls, and there was something about her that made Ymir shrug in acceptance. It was also a little nice to have someone that was so insistent. Only a little, though.

Ymir went back to sketching. She could hear the beautiful rain outside, so she used that to fuel her imagination, and mapped out a valley filled with trees and rain. As an afterthought she added a lap of lightning here and there, and then she sighed softly and ran her fingertips over the drawing.

“You still good, darlin’?”

Ymir jumped in her seat, startled. She blushed slightly when she realized that it was only the waitress. “Um, I’d like a water, please.”

The waitress grinned in amusement, winked and then sauntered off to get the drink. Ymir watched her go, feeling like an idiot. Of all the places to lose herself to a drawing…

The door to the restaurant opened, bringing with it a sudden howl of falling rain. When the door banged shut, Ymir’s heart leapt into her throat. Krista stood there, dripping from the rain but red in the cheeks and grinning. A waitress hurried over with a towel, to which Krista accepted with a dip of her head and a bigger smile. She didn’t seem to mind that she was sopping wet. Was she nuts?

Ymir slipped a little lower in her seat. She didn’t want Krista to see her. Would Krista come over and greet her? They had technically shook hands and agreed to be amicable. That didn’t mean she wanted to be Krista’s friend, though. She wasn’t sure they could ever be that close. Though Ymir watched carefully as Krista was ushered to her usual table, and then she swallowed lightly at the soft stab of disappointment when Krista didn’t in fact notice her. What was this feeling stemming from?

“Here ya go.” The waitress appeared out of nowhere again and set the glass of water down. “Anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Ymir pulled the glass closer and then took a deep swallow. She suddenly felt very thirsty.

XxX

Luckily she had an elastic, so Historia pulled her hair up into a messy bun to get the wet locks off of the back of her neck. The walk to the mall had been refreshing, but she regretted it because she was absolutely soaked through.

She ordered a cappuccino and pulled a novel out of her bag. It wasn’t for school or anything. She just liked reading. This one was _Cursed_ by David Wellington. A fantastic take on the werewolf trope. It wasn’t oversaturated with romance like most supernatural books were. The romance took a backseat to the dark themes of the book that dealt a lot with self-hatred and wild instinct. 

She got quite a few chapters in when she heard the door to the restaurant open, and lifted her eyes out of curiosity. Nanaba stood there, as dry as ever with a wet umbrella in her hand. She scanned the room and grinned brightly when she noticed Historia sitting at her usual spot. She hurried over immediately.

“Hey you,” she greeted in a dusty voice, leaning down to kiss her on the lips.

“Hey. I thought you had rugby stuff to do.”

Nanaba dropped down next to Historia and took in her wet state. “Forgot an umbrella?”

“Yup. I’ve been a little air headed today.”

“Aw, poor baby. And yeah, Smith wanted to train today but then it started raining and he let me go. I’m getting a little tired of him. The man is way too intense about rugby, you know?” Nanaba leaned back in the seat, sighing. She wrapped an arm around Historia’s shoulders and tugged her closer.

“You’ll get wet,” Historia warned her.

Nanaba grinned. “That’s a good night in my book.” She laughed when Historia blushed, and reached out and touched a fingertip to her book. “You’re not done with this yet?”

Historia placed her bookmark inside and shut the book. “No. Haven’t really felt like reading recently.” She scooted closer until Nanaba’s warmth chased away the slight cold from the rain water on her skin.

“So, how have you been?”

The mood suddenly shifted. Historia stiffened lightly at Nanaba’s change of tone. “I’m okay.” She knew what Nanaba was really asking. “About the other day… in the gym… when we… um…” She blushed. “I’m sorry about that.”

Nanaba shook her head. “It’s alright. I don’t mind being used if it’s by you. Did you figure out what was hurting you so bad? Do you want to talk about it?”

Nanaba’s gaze was so honest and open, so imploring. Historia had never really confided in anyone. Well, not before Ymir. The sudden thought of her sent a shock to Historia’s heart, and she found herself searching the faces around her for a familiar freckled one. She found it, and when she did her heart lurched. Nanaba followed her gaze. Her brows furrowed.

“Her name is Ymir, right?”

Historia’s stomach fluttered. “Yeah.”

“You know her?” She wasn’t upset. Nanaba sounded genuinely curious. On top of being the most popular girl at school, super athletic and attractive, Nanaba was also insanely intelligent. She was very, very attentive. It was that trait that Historia had been attracted to first.

“Sort of.”

“Meaning?”

Historia nibbled on her lip. “We first met in Maria Primary,” she started slowly, softly. “I helped her patch up some scrapes, and Ymir seemed to really like me after that. She started greeting me every morning. But… back then, Ymir wasn’t so…” She tried to think of the most appropriate words. “Tall, or imposing. She was really tiny and awkward, and she couldn’t really speak English. The kids in our class bullied her really badly.”

Nanaba glanced over at Ymir again. “That’s terrible. No wonder she looks so stern.”

“I… well, I was friends with Hitch then too. And you know Hitch.”

Nanaba’s gaze returned to her, sharper now. “Did you bully her too?” She didn’t sound angry, but there was a disapproving frown on her face.

“Not actively, no. But I didn’t stop Hitch and the others. And I pushed Ymir away. I hurt her really badly. Then she transferred, and I thought I’d never see her again.”

Nanaba nodded in understanding. “And then she returns, and you still feel bad about that?”

“Yeah. But we made up. Sort of. I think.”

“You think?”

“Ymir is… she’s a complicated person.”

“That’s odd to say,” Nanaba commented. “If you don’t really know her all that well.”

She was right. Historia grew quiet at the thought. She didn’t know Ymir at all. Despite their brief history, she had never conversed with Ymir long enough to get to know her or her likes at all. The thought made her feel a little sour.

“Do you want to ask her if she wants to join us?”

Historia shook her head so fast that she nearly gave herself whiplash. “No. No I’m good. We aren’t friends yet. She still doesn’t trust or like me. She wouldn’t appreciate being bothered.”

Historia leaned against Nanaba’s chest, reaching for her book to have any excuse not to continue with the conversation. “Would you mind being my cushion while I get back into this?”

Nanaba snuggled up closer. “Not at all, Krista. Go for it.”

Historia did. But her gaze kept drifting from the page to Ymir, who was hunched over a pad of paper. Her hand glided smoothly along the whole expanse of it, and she had such a deeply concentrated look on her face that Historia wanted to get up and see what she was drawing. She squashed the desire.

Nanaba ordered something to drink and Historia forced herself to focus on the book. She read the same paragraphs four times before finally giving up and setting the book aside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 13:
> 
> “Gross, am I right?” Connie commented. He shook his head at them, but pulled a face of disgust as well. Mikasa had slid her hands into Sasha’s back pockets. Their kissing noises were gaining in volume.
> 
> “I feel violated just standing here,” Ymir agreed.
> 
> XxX
> 
> “Jesus,” Ymir muttered, sketch forgotten as she leaned forward. “That looked like it fucking hurt.”
> 
> They loaded Mikasa onto a stretcher and then carried her off of the field.
> 
> “I need to go to her.” Sasha stood. She looked bewildered. “I think her nose is really broken. That was a lot of blood.”
> 
> XxX
> 
> Ymir paused and considered waiting until he left, but decided that she wasn’t scared and Reiner wasn’t worth it to worry. Moments later she questioned that decision when Reiner noticed her waking by, and the anger in his eyes deepened. His vicious smirk made Ymir pause.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note the following rugby might be inaccurate as I haven't watched rugby in a long time since my gran passed and I had to, as always, rely on google. Do enjoy anyway

They left Life Sciences together, Sasha babbling in excitement and Ymir trying to ignore her. Eventually Sasha caught on, and she tugged Ymir by the hand.

“Are you listening to me?” she asked, pouting.

Ymir blinked. “Not in the least.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“Thanks, I try.”

Sasha frowned, rolling her eyes. “That shirt suits you then.”

Ymir glanced down at herself. The front of her shirt read ‘ **I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.** ’ Ymir ginned. “That’s the point.”

“Ymir…” Sasha looked off to the side, chewing on her lower lip. She looked oddly serious, and that was something that definitely did not suit her usually cheerful face. When she glanced back, Ymir saw hints of nervousness in her eyes. “I’m really not popular in this school,” she started quietly. Her eyes dropped to their feet. “I guess it’s just because I’m really weird, you know? People make fun of me because I eat so much. I tend to be really happy all the time, and they pick on me for that too. Ever since you stood up to Hitch, no one has even glanced at me. It’s like I suddenly don’t exist. And I’ve honestly never been happier. I was miserable here. All of my friends are at Rose High. So I just…” Sasha’s lower lip began to tremble. “If you really want me to leave, I will. I just want to be your friend. I like you, Ymir.”

Ymir felt her cheeks heat up immediately. She huffed and turned away, arms crossed over her chest. “You’re a sap, you know that?” she grumbled. “But no, I don’t want you to leave.”

Sasha’s face lifted. “So, friends?” She held her hand out. It was trembling.

Ymir felt her insides twist up. Her heart felt all warm, and that made her extremely uncomfortable. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Sasha. She knew that if she rejected this, Sasha would take it badly. Despite her sunshine attitude, she was pretty fragile. Ymir wondered if Sasha had cried often before she’d returned to Maria. The thought that Sasha depended on her that much terrified her, but the chance of deeply hurting her—like Ymir had been once—scared her even more. With a glare, Ymir took her hand.

“Friends,” she relented.

Sasha brightened immediately, like she had been plugged back in or something. She squeezed Ymir’s hand, and then dropped it and pulled her down for a hug. Ymir immediately remembered her embrace with Krista, which made her pull back and frown.

“Sorry,” Sasha laughed sheepishly. “I’m a really physical person, ya know? I was so happy I had ta’.”

Ymir tilted her head. “What just happened to your accent?”

Sasha blushed. She cleared her throat. “Whoops,” she muttered. “I let it slip.”

“You have a different accent?”

Sasha nodded. “Family is from the south. We, er, tend to speak more freely.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. “Why do you speak differently then?” Her own accent came out a little, but it didn’t garble her words.

“Well… they made fun of me. They called me a farm girl and other stuff, so…”

“So you hid your accent?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t.” Ymir reached out and grabbed Sasha’s wrist. “Don’t hide who you are, Sasha. I don’t hide my accent either. You can hear it there, yeah? I can’t help how I speak. My accent just deepens sometimes. Talk how you talk. Fuck them.”

Sasha stared down at Ymir’s hand. “Alright,” she said softly. Her accent had completely changed. “I’ll do so, if you teach me how to swear in Swedish.”

Ymir dropped her arm and snorted. “Fat chance.”

“Oh, please Ymir!”

“You’re seriously making me regret this friendship.”

Sasha opened her mouth to respond, but then someone called out to them and her mouth snapped shut. Her eyes widened, filling with delight.

“Are you being a pain again, Sash’?”

Sasha whirled around in time to catch the boy that tackled her in a tight, grossly affectionate hug. Sasha giggled when he lifted her and twirled her around in the air. “Connie!”

Connie set her down, grinning widely at the pleased look on her face. “Missed me that much, huh?”

Ymir felt like a third wheel, so she turned and tried to stealthily walk away. Maybe if she moved quickly enough, she could escape the school and not have to stick around. But Sasha noticed her creeping away, and quickly pulled her back by the hand.

“Connie, this is Ymir!”

Ymir sighed. Connie eyed her for a long moment, assessing her. He didn’t look too pleased, which made Sasha look between them, nervous. Eventually his stern expression melted away and he held his hand out, grinning.

“Hey there, Ymir. Nice to meet ya. Sasha has told me quite a lot.”

Ymir took his hand. They shook—hard. “All bad things probably.”

“I would never!”

“Definitely,” Connie agreed. They dropped hands immediately. “So what’s my idiot been up to this past week? Haven’t seen you much.”

Ymir lifted a brow at them. “He your boyfriend?” she asked.

Sasha and Connie both burst into immediate laughter, arms over each other’s shoulders. They went red in the face, and Connie even looked like he was about to collapsed. Sasha wheezed a few times, and then she shook her head. “Nuh-uh. He’s my bro.”

“Yeah man, that’d be weird.”

Ymir sighed. “I don’t understand you people.”

“I was too late, anyway,” Connie commented, sighing dramatically. He clutched at his chest and sniffled. “Her heart belongs to another.”

Sasha slapped him upside the head. “Dramatic idiot.”

“Yeah, but you platonically love me.”

“I do.”

“Are you two at it again?” a third voice interrupted them from right behind Ymir. She turned, overly exasperated that this group only seemed to grow.

“Mikasa!” Sasha shouted, all happy smiles and glowing happiness. She all but forgot Connie existed as she launched herself into Mikasa’s arms, and then they kissed and clutched at each other and Ymir pulled a face.

“Gross, am I right?” Connie commented. He shook his head at them, but pulled a face of disgust as well. Mikasa had slid her hands into Sasha’s back pockets. Their kissing noises were gaining in volume.

“I feel violated just standing here,” Ymir agreed.

Connie laughed. “So Sash’ told me what you did for her. Thank you. I’ve offered to come here and kick those assholes in the face myself, but Sasha always asked me not to. Seems like you were too much for her to resist.”

Ymir shrugged. “It was more for me than her. But you’re welcome, I guess.”

When the couple finally pulled apart, Sasha dragged Mikasa over to introduce her.

“Ymir, this is my girlfriend Mikasa. Mika, this is Ymir.”

They didn’t shake hands. Mikasa eyed her once, nodded in greeting and then turned to Sasha. “I have to warm up now,” she said. “I’ll see you after the game.” She pressed a kiss to Sasha’s cheek, and then she walked off towards the gym.

“I should get going too, actually,” Connie explained. “Mikasa is an awesome captain, but she can be pretty scary sometimes. I’ll catch you later as well. Enjoy the game!” He gave Sasha another hug and then hurried off after Mikasa.

Sasha sighed dreamily. Ymir couldn’t resist making a comment.

“Girlfriend, huh? Didn’t think you had enough game.”

“Oh please,” she snorted. “ _I_ asked her out. I have way more game than you, Freckles.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Uh, no.”

“Says she-who-prefers-being-single.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and playfully shoved Sasha’s face. “Shut up.”

Sasha laughed at her. “We should get to the pavilion. They’ll start the game in an hour.”

Ymir groaned. “An hour?”

“Come on, grumpy pants, you can do homework or something.”

“Oh, yeah.” Ymir brightened at the thought, while Sasha pulled a face at her. “Well excuse me for caring about my education.”

“Weirdo.”

XxX

Ymir snickered down at her lap, where she lazily sketched a comic of Sasha and Mikasa. She drew Mikasa with huge bulging muscles and hot air blowing from her nose. She was like a beast. The game had been going on for fourty minutes and so far Mikasa had already scored three tries and successfully scored more points with the conversion kicks that followed. They were winning 21-7, and the Maria kids on the pavilion were howling and hurtling insults Mikasa’s way.

Ymir had done her homework already, so she decided to do some recreational drawing while Sasha enjoyed the game. It was really packed, and though the sky was puffy with grey clouds, it was hot and stuffy. Ymir smoothed her hair back and sighed for what felt like the millionth time. Sasha was screaming beside her.

“Dodge him!” she yelled, eyes glued to Mikasa’s form down in the field. “Don’t let her tackle you! Keep the ball, Mika! Yes! Keep going!”

Ymir lifted her eyes. Mikasa had just swerved a tackle, jumped over another player that had crumbled to the ground, and then shot across the field towards Maria’s territory. In moments she dived in the air for the try, but another player managed to slam into her stomach at the last second. The crowd screamed loudly, adrenalin thick in the air. Mikasa went down in the tackle, bodies piling on top of her as they formed a ruck. Connie shoved his way in, shouldering Maria players aside until he was above Mikasa, shielding her and protecting the ball and attempting to keep it on their side. Mikasa lay still and other Rose players shouted across the field. Connie seemed to say something to her, and then Mikasa nodded and pushed the ball out from her body, between Connie’s legs. A huge guy crouched down, reaching for the ball but not yet grasping it. They all shared glances. The Maria players trapped in the ruck started yelling for them to make a move, and then Mikasa’s hand let go and the huge guy grabbed for the ball. He took large steps back and then ran for it. Reiner—who was apparently also on the rugby team—grappled for him, but the guy had such long legs that he managed to miss him by seconds. And then Mikasa was up on her feet, soaring across the slick ground until the tall guy had a clear shot and passed the ball over to her.

The kids on the pavilion roared, Maria students howling in despair, Rose students hooting and whooping in joy. Mikasa dodged another tackle attempt, and then she dove in the air and slammed hard against the ground. She scored the try. Hands shot up into the air.

“Someone hold me,” Sasha whispered. She had her arms wrapped around herself. “That was intense.”

Ymir stretched out her hand. At some point she had gripped her pencil so harshly that it nearly snapped. Sasha was right. That had been incredibly intense. Mikasa was like a bullet, shooting across the field to score try after try. It was beautiful to watch, even if Ymir didn’t know much about the rules or care for the score. She was enjoying the fact that Maria was losing, though. Reiner looked mighty pissed, and Hitch was screaming insults at him from the side-lines. Apparently that pushed him over the edge, because as Mikasa stood and lifted her arms in the air for the crowd, he collided purposefully into her side, elbow cracking across her face. Ymir knew she was too far away, but she swore that she heard Mikasa’s nose break.

“Oh my god,” Sasha choked out. “What the fuck was that? Oh no, Mikasa!”

The referee whistled sharply and signalled for him to get off of the field. Mikasa lay crumbled on the ground, back to the grass and a hand pressed to her face. She tilted her head back as paramedics rushed out to check on her. The referee made the sign for foul play, and then took one look at Mikasa and moved his arms to call for a doctor, and that there was a bleeding wound.

“Jesus,” Ymir muttered, sketch forgotten as she leaned forward. “That looked like it fucking hurt.”

They loaded Mikasa onto a stretcher and then carried her off of the field. Maria students hollered in joy, while the Rose students swore and cursed at them. A fight was brewing on the pavilion, enough that some of the teachers drew nearer and shouted for people to sit down and calm themselves.

“I need to go to her.” Sasha stood. She looked bewildered. “I think her nose is really broken. That was a lot of blood.”

Ymir pulled her legs back so that Sasha could pass. “Alright. I’ll head to Titan Falls then. Text me if Mikasa is okay.”

Sasha smiled thinly. “I will do. Sorry, Ymir.”

“No worries. I understand.”

As Sasha hurried off, Ymir stared down at the drawing. She suddenly felt bad. The game continued but she wasn’t the least bit interested, so she descended the pavilion and headed for the school exit. On her way she passed by Reiner at the boys toilets, and he looked livid. He paced up and down, clenching and unclenching his fists, cursing under his breath. He was probably regretting his impulsive attack—not because he felt bad, no, most likely because it put him out of the game.

Ymir paused and considered waiting until he left, but decided that she wasn’t scared and Reiner wasn’t worth it to worry. Moments later she questioned that decision when Reiner noticed her waking by, and the anger in his eyes deepened. His vicious smirk made Ymir pause.

“Well, well,” he snarled. “Look what dragged itself by.”

Ymir tightened her fist around her bag. “Leave me alone, or you’ll get a kick to the balls again,” she warned calmly.

Reiner lumbered forward, cracking his knuckles loudly. He looked ready to kill. Ymir suddenly worried that he would really try. “Why? You afraid?” He laughed nastily, and then he was in front of her, fist pulled back, eyes wide and crazed. “Let’s see if I can make you cower and snivel at my feet, like I used to, little foreigner.”

The first drop of rain slid down the side of Ymir’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 14:
> 
> “Hey, you,” Historia started carefully. “Crap game?”
> 
> “Like you won’t believe,” Nanaba grumbled. “But seeing you is making it bearable. Is everything okay?”
> 
> Historia suddenly felt a stab of guilt. “Actually, I think I want to go home. I’m not feeling well… so…”
> 
> XxX
> 
> She gasped and sputtered and clawed at his hands, but he wouldn’t budge. And he just kept pressing down and down and down, and Ymir expected her neck to snap just from that. 
> 
> “Get off of her!”
> 
> The scream came suddenly and without warning, and then a bag slammed into Reiner’s face and his grip loosened. Ymir wiggled out from underneath him, sputtering for breath and nauseous.
> 
> “K-Krista?” he sputtered, eyes wide.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A 6 hour nap and my girlfriend being too sweet brought me back to being semi-human. I think I can function again. But luckily for you guys most of this story is already written! My moods won't damper it yet. So enjoy, and please leave a comment if you do ^^

Nanaba was a machine on the field, strong legs pumping hard as she ran for the ball. She had been the only one to win the ball over from Rose, and the first to score the try and then the kick. At least, that’s what Hitch was saying. Historia nodded as if she was really watching, but she wasn’t. She normally loved watching Nanaba’s games, but for the first time she just couldn’t get into it.

It certainly had nothing to do with the fact that Ymir was there, too, sitting high up on the pavilion. She was sitting next to Sasha, but she looked as bored as Historia felt. When Hitch elbowed her hard in the ribs, she tore her attention away from staring at Ymir.

“Listen, your sex god of a girlfriend just lifted her shirt to wipe the sweat from her face and you didn’t even notice. What gives?”

Historia shrugged. She spotted a spark of lightning in the distance. “It looks like it might rain.”

“Right,” Hitch snorted. “A+ topic diversion. I won’t let this go.”

“I know.”

“It’s about the foreigner, isn’t it?”

Historia shrugged. “I don’t know, is it, Hitch?” She narrowed her eyes slightly, delighted when Hitch looked away with a huff. Ever since Monday when she had stood up to her friend for the first time, she realized that Hitch wasn’t really that imposing. It felt like her claws were slowly drawing out. But Historia’s chest hurt at the thought, and she leaned into Hitch and bumped their shoulders. “I’m not mad at you. Just… some of the mean things you say bother me.”

Hitch rolled her eyes. “Of course they do, little Miss Perfect.”

“I’m not perfect,” Historia argued. “I’m everything but.”

Hitch glanced at her. A hint of jealousy laced her eyes, and then she slumped and leaned into Historia as well. “Sorry for being such a bitch.”

“You’re forgiven,” Historia said. “For now,” she added playfully. Hitch shoved her away as if she was insulted, but she smiled and rolled her eyes.

“Pretty girls,” she muttered under her breath.

Historia tried to focus after that. She watched Nanaba closely, watched as she battled over and over to get that ball. Mikasa was relentless. Whenever she was tackled to the ground, she managed to keep the ball in the ruck until the last perfect second, when someone would snatch it up and kick it away or pass it over. Then the ruck would dissolve and she was back on her feet, ball sliding against her palms as she raced for another try. Historia felt frustrated for Nanaba, because she could see from the frown on her face that Nanaba was under a lot of pressure. Smith stood to the side, arms crossed over his chest as he observed. It also didn’t help that Maria wasn’t playing as well as they should have. Reiner was a little all over the place, and Berik—their biggest, fastest player—was staying out of the line of fire. It was like he wanted them to lose. And god, Mikasa moved like a cheetah.

When she scored her last try, even Historia felt like standing to cheer for her. It had been so expertly achieved. Though that dive had looked painful. One thing Historia hated about rugby was how physical it was with the ground. Often Nanaba would complain from injuries caused by scrums, tackles, rucks and the very constant kiss with grass. Once she’d had a grass burn on her ass.

“Well shit,” Hitch breathed, sitting back down. She had nearly popped a lung screaming at Reiner to get a hold of his manhood and _do the fucking thing, you huge shit-steak,_ as she had put it. Historia bit her lip, not liking how Hitch shouted at the players, but decided that she had stood up for the needy enough for one day.

And then Reiner slammed his elbow into Mikasa’s face, spurting her blood on the field and successfully kicking himself out of the game. Hitch started swearing again, using words that didn’t even sound English anymore, as Reiner flipped off the referee and stormed off. Rose students booed him hard, and kids from Maria shouted at them in response. Teachers appeared out of nowhere, waving hands and yelling for the chaos to die down. Most of the students listened and took their seats, but a few stood defiantly, flinging insults at each other when a teacher turned their back.

“That was uncalled for,” Historia said.

“I’d have done it,” Hitch admitted. “Though I wouldn’t mind knocking her out another way, if you know what I mean.” She wiggled her eyebrows, but the attempt didn’t distract Historia from the first comment.

“I’m pretty sure she’s taken,” she said. “And you’re being a bitch again.”

The clouds above them almost seemed to loom in. Historia cast them a worried glance. Nanaba was at the edge of the field, close to the pavilion and arguing heatedly with Smith. He looked stern and regal, but there was clear anger on his face. Historia felt exhausted.

“I think I’m going to head home,” she said. “I don’t feel so well anymore.”

“Alright,” Hitch responded. “Text me when you get home.”

“When do I not?”

She gave Hitch a pat on the shoulder and then carefully stepped down the pavilion, dodging legs and shoulders and the occasional fist. Goddamn people could be passionate about rugby.

Once she was on the ground, Historia headed over to Nanaba and heard the last of the argument. Smith was chastising her for Reiner’s behaviour. He shut up when she approached, and then he turned and stalked off. Nanaba levelled a glare at the back of his head. She was really upset. Historia had never seen her quite so angry, but her eyes at least softened when she noted Historia stepping close.

“Hey, you,” Historia started carefully. “Crap game?”

“Like you won’t believe,” Nanaba grumbled. “But seeing you is making it bearable. Is everything okay?”

Historia suddenly felt a stab of guilt. “Actually, I think I want to go home. I’m not feeling well… so…”

Nanaba’s face clouded with worry. She bent down and touched their foreheads. “Yeah, you do feel a little warm,” she admitted. “Get home before it rains. You also don’t need to see me fail as the worst rugby captain ever.” She looked so disappointed.

“Hey.” Historia gently pulled her back down when she straightened, a hand fisting the front of her shirt. “You’ll always be the best captain _I’ve_ ever had. Just don’t get hurt, alright?”

Nanaba flushed and laughed. “You say the sweetest things.” She kissed her. “Now get going. I need to kick this ball and lift our score a bit. At least we can lose with a shred of dignity.”

Nanaba turned and headed back to the field. Berik was at her side immediately and she started talking fiercely to him, but Historia turned away. She was exhausted from the excitement and anger in the air. She honestly just wanted to go home and finish that book she had been struggling with. Yeah. A book sounded really nice. Maybe a mug of hot chocolate, her fuzzy blanket as she sat in front of her floor to ceiling window. Maybe if she was lucky it would…

…it started to rain.

XxX

Ymir’s ears buzzed with the sudden onslaught of rain. One second Reiner was stepping closer, and then the clouds opened up and rained down on them. He came at her fast and hard, and her surprise at the rain made her miss how quickly he moved. She tried to dodge his fist but wasn’t quick enough, and it slammed into her cheek. She grunted in pain and swayed, but stayed on her feet. He swung again, landing a hard punch against her chin, merely clipping it. Ymir managed to bounce back, but her wet hair flicked into her face and she tasted blood as he punched her in the mouth, splitting open the wound that was already there.

Ymir gasped and fell to the ground.

_“What was that, foreigner?” Reiner growled, smirking down at her. “I didn’t quite get that.”_

_Ymir looked up at him, eyes wide with fear. “S-s-so…” She swallowed. She was shaking, and Reiner’s hovering form wasn’t doing anything to help calm her tattered mind. Like this, so frightened, her words wouldn’t come to her._

_Kids walked by them, lingering with their glances and whispers, but no more. Ymir watched them, expression desperate and pleading, hoping that someone, anyone would stop Reiner from what he was bound to do._

_Ymir’s cuts from last week hadn’t healed completely yet, and the large bruise on her ribs was still fading. She gingerly clutched her chest, scared of more pain._

_“I’m sorry, repeat that?” he asked again. His grin stretched wider. It was nasty and evil, and Ymir hated him._

_“S-s-s…” she tried again, but the first syllable was all she could muster. She was quaking in fear now, and Reiner could see every bit of it. The fear seemed to feed him, enlarge him. He puffed up, and then he reached out and grabbed Ymir by the side. She cried out loudly in pain when he pinched her still tender ribs. And then he shoved her over and she hit the dirt, tears streaming down her face, blood soaking into the knees of her pants._

_“Loser,” Reiner taunted. “You’re nothing but a loser. Why are you even here? No one even likes you. Not even Krista does.”_

_Ymir bowed her head in shame. Her only solace was her naïve belief that Krista did care, but she never came. Ymir always had the sense that she was somewhere, watching and waiting for it to end, without ever having to step forward and offer a hand._

_Reiner left her sobbing in the dirt, and so did everyone else._

Air rushed in through Ymir’s clenched teeth. Her hands began to tremble badly, and her heart sped up so quickly that she felt like coughing. Reiner tackled her to the ground, but she grabbed hold of his wrists and held him off. She was snarling, red flashing over her eyes, fear and hatred and anger coiling around her insides like a snake. She wanted to beat him until his skull caved in.

But Reiner was larger than her, with packs of pure muscle. He overpowered her grip, and then pinned her arms down with one hand. Ymir didn’t have time to flinch before his fist came down on her face again, his knuckles moving with so much force that they split the skin of her brow open. She rocked her hips upwards, desperate to get him off of her, but he had a firm hold. She was stuck, and he was most likely going to kill her.

“Do you have any last words, loser?” Reiner snarled down at her. His fist hovered in the air, torn raw and bleeding. Ymir’s left eye shut when blood slid down her face, but she tilted her head and spat in his face.

“Sit on a huge dick, you fucking piece of shit.”

Reiner roared in anger. He released his hold on her arms, but then his fists closed around her throat and he squeezed _hard._ Ymir kicked out with her legs, moved her hips and shoulders, but he was a boulder. The rain came down harder. Ymir saw black spots dance along the edges of her eyes. Was this really it? Would Reiner be the last thing she ever looked at? He was red in the face, eyes glazed over. Ymir wondered if he was on steroids. It was an odd thought to have in her last moments, but it was there. She gasped and sputtered and clawed at his hands, but he wouldn’t budge. And he just kept pressing down and down and _down,_ and Ymir expected her neck to snap just from that.

“Get off of her!”

The scream came suddenly and without warning, and then a bag slammed into Reiner’s face and his grip loosened. Ymir wiggled out from underneath him, sputtering for breath and nauseous.

“What the fuck?” Reiner roared. He turned sharply and lashed out at the intruder, and then Krista slammed into the ground, her cry of pain filled with surprise and shock. Reiner’s bulking form stopped, and he blinked in surprise and realized what he had done. It was enough to bring him crashing back to reality.

“K-Krista?” he sputtered, eyes wide.

Krista glanced up at him. Ymir’s breath left her entirely then—though it hadn’t really returned yet. Krista didn’t look up at him with confusion, with upset that her dear friend had hurt her. The person looking up at Reiner was not Krista at all. It was that someone again… with that fiery gaze that speared right through him. He stumbled back at the sight. Krista’s lip pulled back over her teeth, and then she shouted.

“ **Get the fuck away from me, Reiner**!”

Ymir jerked at the sound. Reiner did as well, and then he scrambled onto his feet and started running. The rain made it hard to watch him for too long, and her face was swelling. Everything stung and hurt, but the blood was washed away by the still pouring rain. Ymir managed to climb onto her feet, and then she paused by Krista’s side and offered her hand.

“Are you okay?” Ymir asked. “I guess you found me just in time.”

Krista gasped loudly. Her blue eyes widened, and then she stared at Ymir’s hands and seemed to realize what had just happened. That person… that stranger in Krista’s gaze slowly melted away. Krista shakily took her hand, and Ymir pulled her up from the soggy, wet grass. She turned and pulled Krista with her to the girls’ toilets, and then dumped her bag down and dug around in it.

“What are you doing?” Krista asked, just barely above a whisper. Ymir could hear her swallow.

“Disinfectant,” Ymir answered. “And plasters.”

She eventually found what she was looking for. Luckily none of it had gotten wet. Krista slid down onto the floor beside her, and then Ymir dipped a cotton ball in detol and pressed it to the side of Krista’s face. Reiner had decked her in the cheek, to her jaw and the corner of her mouth. It was red and puffy, and a little blood coated her lower lip, but it wouldn’t look too bad. It would heal up quickly.

Krista hissed at the pain.

“Wuss,” Ymir snorted. She was surprised at her casual tone. Krista seemed to be as well.

“I just saved your ass,” Krista countered. “You were the one on your back.”

Ymir frowned. She gingerly wiped at the blood. Krista’s lips were like cushions, and they felt soft and plump underneath Ymir’s fingertips. She fervently shoved those thoughts aside, especially when Krista winced in pain. “There,” she said. “All disinfected and shit. That was really dumb of you.”

Krista shrugged and took the bottle of detol without asking. Ymir didn’t protest as she grabbed the cotton and dabbed one. “Why do we seem to always meet like this?” Krista asked her softly. She applied as much care to Ymir’s wounds as Ymir had done to her, though Ymir had more to deal with. Her brow was pretty cut up, and Krista worried that she would need stitches. Ymir assured her that she wouldn’t, and sure enough the blood slowed to a trickle.

“Here.” Krista moved onto her knees and then pulled her over shirt off. She gently used it to wipe the side of Ymir’s face, clearing up the blood. Ymir noticed that her white under shirt was see-through thanks to the rain, and she blushed a bright crimson at the realization. She flicked her gaze to the tile wall behind Krista’s head.

“Um, thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Ymir,” Krista told her. She smiled, and then she dropped her gaze and the smile went with it. “Reiner was awful to you.”

“He always was,” Ymir muttered bitterly. “Nothing about him has changed.”

“You don’t understand, Ymir. Reiner is, well… he has a lot of problems.”

Ymir snorted. “Like I fucking care. That doesn’t excuse his shitty behaviour. He really could have killed me today.” They fell into sudden silence. The colour seemed to drain from Krista’s face, as if she had only realized that fact as well. Ymir’s heart pounded hard in her chest, and she swallowed.

“He really could have…” she whispered. She pressed a hand to her mouth. “I could have lost you… you could have… and I…”

Ymir couldn’t handle the flash of pain on Krista’s face. She flicked her forehead.

“Ow!”

“Listen, Squirt, I’m not dead, alright? You saved my freckled ass, and now I owe you. So let me treat you to a milkshake at Titan Falls.”

Krista watched her for a long while. “You actually want to be in my presence?”

Ymir turned away—mostly to hide her blush—and then packed her mini med-kit away. “Yeah, so what? You saved my ass. I can be in awe of you for the next hour, and then we can go back to being enemies if that’s what you want.”

Ymir stiffened when Krista pressed against her back. She hugged her tightly, face pressed between Ymir’s shoulder blades. “Thank you, Ymir.”

Ymir’s mind went blank and started screaming at the same time. The feeling of Krista’s soft chest against her spine made her want to crawl out of her own skin and then yodel into the sky. She licked her dry lips.

“Your shirt is see-through,” she blurted. “I saw your bra earlier.”

Krista’s warmth disappeared, followed by a soft squeak of what Ymir presumed was embarrassment. She sighed, shrugged out of her jacket and then pulled her shirt off. She had a sports bra underneath, so she didn’t mind undressing in front of Krista. She zipped her jacket back up and then turned around and handed the shirt over.

Krista, arms covering her chest, took the shirt with a little nod, a blush on her cheeks. She slipped it on quickly. Ymir laughed at the sight of her.

“Geez, you’re tiny,” she commented. The shirt looked like a dress on her.

Krista huffed and brushed her hair out of her face. “Shut up. Are you going to get me that milkshake now or are we going to have a sleepover in here?”

Ymir decided that she liked this side of Krista. As they spoke, bits of the mask fell away. She knew that Krista probably never spoke like this with her friends. For some reason, that pleased her.

“Right. After you, princess.”

Krista stood and glared at her. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’ll call you whatever I want.”

Krista rolled her eyes, but she hid her smile behind her hand and shuffled over to the door. Ymir was right behind her. “Do you know what else you can call me?”

Ymir lifted a brow. “No, what?”

“Goddess. Empress. Eternal saviour. God.” She grinned cheekily.

Ymir pretended to consider it. “I think Goddess suits you just fine, for now.”

Krista gave her a look. It was so… sassy. It made Ymir’s breath hitch. “Until?”

“Until I know what to really call you,” Ymir answered, clearing her throat. She could feel Krista’s ice blue eyes studying her very, very intently. It unnerved her, and hardly anything could do that. “Your real name.”

Krista nodded. “Until then.”

Krista reached out and grabbed the edge of Ymir’s jacket sleeve. She faced forward and didn’t say more as they headed out into the rain—underneath Ymir’s umbrella—and down the street to the mall.

Neither spoke as they walked in contented silence, the only sound from the cascading rain around them.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 15:
> 
> "Don't you ever do that to me again," Ilse growled. "You hear me?"
> 
> Ymir tightened her arms around her, suddenly feeling very small even though she could rest her chin on Ilse's head. She curled around her. "I'm sorry."
> 
> XxX
> 
> "I hope you're being careful," Ilse warned her softly. They left Titan Falls and stepped into colder air.
> 
> "What do you mean?" Ymir furrowed her brows.
> 
> Ilse sighed. "Just don't let her break your heart again."
> 
> Ymir rolled her eyes. How could Krista? Ymir hadn't given her anything. Least of all her heart.


	15. Chapter 15

Milkshake wasn’t the best idea when they were still soaked through and shivering. The past hour had been filled with nothing but rain and silence. They sat at a new table in Titan Falls, and after ordering their drinks, settled into quiet. Ymir assessed the damage to her books while Krista sat and tapped contentedly on her phone. A large bruise was already forming where Reiner had punched her. It didn’t really suit her pretty face, and there was something about the sight of her with a split lip that made Ymir’s chest tighten. She remembered the moment where Krista had faded away, replaced by someone else.

Krista sighed heavily and set her phone down on the table. “So Hitch just texted me,” she started even though Ymir didn’t really care. “She’s pissed.”

“That you got your ass kicked?” Ymir enquired tonelessly. “Wouldn’t have thought it possible for her to care.”

Krista’s brows furrowed. “She does care, in her own way. She wants to rip Reiner in half.” She sighed again, shoulders drooping.

Ymir suddenly wondered why she was doing this. Why had she offered to buy Krista a milkshake, and why had Krista accepted? What was the point of them sitting there, talking as if there was a chance that they could ever be friends?

Ymir’s phone buzzed to life in her pocket. Her eyes flew open in alarm and she quickly answered it. “Hello?”

“Ymir,” Ilse breathed. “Where are you? _I said I’d pick you up from school after the game. It’s been half an hour_ ,” she asked in Swedish.

Ymir’s stomach clenched. “ _Skit,_ ” she muttered, continuing in her language without a thought. “ _I’m sorry, Ilse. I forgot. Something happened.”_

_“Did someone hurt you?”_

_“Sort of. I’m fine.”_

_“You better be. Where are you?”_

_“Titan Falls.”_

_“Okay, stay there.”_

Ymir inhaled. She told Ilse that she would stay at Titan Falls to wait for her, apologized again for forgetting that she would pick her up, and then ended the call and pressed her face into her hand. She was tired. Exhausted, even. Krista was staring at her.

“What?” Having put Ilse through unnecessary stress had ruined Ymir’s mood.

Krista fiddled with her straw. “That was your native language?”

“ _Ja,_ ” Ymir answered. She noticed the way Krista stared at her lips as she spoke. A small blush dusted her cheeks. Ymir furrowed her brows, confused by the reaction.

“It sounds, well…” she cleared her throat, blinked and looked away. “I think it sounds really cool. You speak it really well.”

Ymir felt herself smile. “I do. Ilse and I speak it regularly, because if we didn’t we’d lose our language.”

“Ilse?”

Ymir wanted to curse herself for dropping the name. She didn’t want to tell Krista her life story. It made her uncomfortable for Krista to know intimate things about her. “My sister,” she finally answered. “Who is going to kill me today for sure.”

Krista tilted her head. She seemed about to speak again, but then someone rushed into the restaurant and the both of them glanced up to see a woman hurrying over. Ymir was struck hard by the panicked expression on Ilse’s face, so she stood immediately and grunted in surprise when Ilse wrapped her up in a desperate hug.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Ilse growled. “You hear me?”

Ymir tightened her arms around her, suddenly feeling very small even though she could rest her chin on Ilse’s head. She curled around her. “ _I’m sorry.”_

Ilse pulled back. She noticed Ymir’s various wounds, and then she started fussing again, checking every inch of Ymir to make sure that she was okay. Ymir grumbled but let her do it, because she knew that Ilse only cared. No one had ever loved Ymir the way her sister did. She’d let Ilse do whatever she wanted without questions asked. She owed her that much.

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“Who did this to you?” Ilse asked. Her eyes swam with tears. “Who hurt you?”

Ymir caught Krista watching them. She was shocked to see furrowed brows and seething jealousy. But it slipped away when she realized Ymir was watching her, and then she smiled. Ymir narrowed her eyes. “Just some idiot I insulted,” Ymir answered.

Ilse tapped her cheek—not a slap, but hard enough that it stung. “Why do you insist on doing things like this?”

Ymir grinned. “Because it’s fun.”

Ilse rolled her eyes. “You think because you’re big and scary now, that you can treat everyone like dirt? I didn’t raise you like this,” she shook her head. “I was really terrified for you, Ymir.”

Ymir gently took Ilse’s hand, like she had when she was a kid. She looked down into Ilse’s eyes and smiled. “Thank you.”

Ilse didn’t need to ask. She nodded in acknowledgement, and then she finally noticed Krista watching them and she inclined her head. “Say goodbye to your friend, Ymir,” Ilse told her. “I’m taking you home now before you do something stupider.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “She’s not my friend,” she drawled. Krista’s eyes flashed with hurt. “I just owed her, is all.” She assured Ilse that she would be right behind her, and then she gathered her things. “Thanks for today,” Ymir muttered reluctantly. “I probably really would have died had you not found me.”

Krista waved her hand. “Really, you don’t need to thank me. And you don’t owe me anything. I owe you. I owe you more than today.”

Ymir’s chest tightened. She lingered for a moment, but there was nothing more to say or do, and Krista stared up at her with unconcealed sadness. She ran a hand through her damp hair. “So, see you later.”

Krista nodded gently. “See you later, Ymir. Stay safe.”

“Yeah. You too.” She gave a little wave, and then Ymir turned and headed to the door. Ilse was watching them, and the way she glanced meaningfully at Krista told Ymir all she needed to know.

“I hope you’re being careful,” Ilse warned her softly. They left Titan Falls and stepped into colder air.

“What do you mean?” Ymir furrowed her brows.

Ilse sighed. “Just don’t let her break your heart again.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. How could Krista? Ymir hadn’t given her anything. Least of all her heart.

XxX

Historia had watched Ymir’s sister fuss over her, feeling something odd twist her stomach. She watched them and she felt jealous, and it made her angry. Shame and guilt washed over her because of it, and the whole thing made her feel sick.

Ilse was just as beautiful as Ymir—dark skin, freckles and deep, soulful brown eyes. Then they left, leaving Historia to her loneliness. She slumped down on the table, sighing.

What was this feeling?

Her phone buzzed again, so she reluctantly unlocked it and read Hitch’s text.

 ** _Hitch:_** _Krista, where are you right now? You didn’t go home, did you??_

**_Hitch_ ** _: Krista, goddamnit!_

**_Hitch_ ** _: KRISTA._

**_Historia_ ** _: Relax. Just went to Titan Falls._

**_Hitch_ ** _: After literally getting beat up? What the fuck Krista? I’m coming over right now._

**_Historia_ ** _: You really don’t need to. I’m fine. Will be heading home now anyway._

**_Hitch_ ** _: Fine. But you better tell me what happened tomorrow. I’ve never been more pissed in my life._

Historia smiled down at her phone. She knew that Hitch cared, but it was rare moments like this that actually showed it. She sent a quick reply, and then left Titan Falls. She made her way back to school and called for her private driver, and settled in by the gate to wait. It had dimmed to a light drizzle, at least, so when her driver pulled up she wasn’t as soaked as she would have been.

“Miss Reiss,” he greeted mechanically, opening the door for her.

She smiled at him, but she knew it looked plastic. She slipped inside and set her bag down on her lap, hugging it. She inhaled deeply, and her heart jumped when a foreign scent filled her nose. It took little thought to remember that she still wore Ymir’s shirt. It smelt like her. A little sweaty, but mixed in with whatever body spray she used, and simply her natural scent. For some reason, it was intoxicating. Krista caught herself inhaling the shoulder of the shirt, and then she pulled her face away, cheeks burning.

“What am I doing?” she muttered to herself.

What was this feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 16:
> 
> Hitch narrowed her eyes to slits and inserted herself right into Ymir's personal space. "It was because of you, wasn't it?" she snarled.
> 
> Ymir's furrowed brows relaxed as realization dawned. "That Reiner hurt Krista?" she asked. "That was all him and all Krista. This has nothing to do with me."
> 
> XxX
> 
> "Alright class, I have an announcement to make before we continue our work." The class lowered their voices down to a whisper, curious. "As of this morning one of our students, Reiner Braun, has been suspended."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the doctor today and was booked off until the 19th with a sinus infection, but I'm on leave from the 19th to the 30th, so guess who's gonna sit around and do nothing but write for the rest of the month. Yas. Me. I am so pumped. I'll probably finish Howl soon :D Happy reading!

Ilse had to head into work early, so she dropped Ymir off at the mall and then drove off in a frenzy. There was still some time before the first bell would ring, so Ymir took her sweet time walking down the street. It was usually busy this early, with people going to work and dropping off their kids. Ymir hated waking up so early, though. She felt gaunt and tired, and no doubt looked like death. During the night she had somehow punched herself in the face, causing the wound at her brow to split open. She woke with sticky blood all over her face. Ilse had stitched the wound up for her—thanks to years of practise of having to do so—and had also slapped her upside the head.

Ymir had a huge bruise along her upper cheek, and her brow was still a little swollen. The corner of her mouth sported a blackening bruise, and her lip had a cut that tugged painfully if she tried to open her mouth too widely. She hadn’t been hurt like this in months, and she hated to admit that she had gotten used to not needing Ilse’s stitching or a pack of ice on her face. At least Reiner hadn’t gone for her ribs.

Students lazily poured into the open school gates, chatting amongst themselves and laughing. Ymir ignored the noise and slipped her hands into her pockets. Maybe if she was lucky enough, Sasha wouldn’t notice her. Speaking of… she wondered how Mikasa was doing, and snorted when she realized that she and Mikasa probably looked the same. Poor Sasha would see her friend injured as well as her girlfriend. _Friend_. Ymir smiled. It was a title she had sworn never to hold, but now she didn’t really mind. Sasha made it easy to forget how afraid she was, sometimes.

“You!”

Ymir’s head shot up at the shout, and she caught sight of Hitch throwing people aside to stampede over to her. She had a hand lifted, finger pointed up at Ymir’s face. “Me?” she asked, an uninjured eyebrow lifted.

Hitch narrowed her eyes to slits and inserted herself right into Ymir’s personal space. “It was because of you, wasn’t it?” she snarled.

Ymir’s furrowed brows relaxed as realization dawned. “That Reiner hurt Krista?” she asked. “That was all him and all Krista. This has nothing to do with me.”

Hitch grabbed her arm when she tried to walk away. “Like hell! I knew the second I saw that busted up face that it was because of you! What, did you fucking confront that idiot or something? Did you cry out for Krista to help you? She’s tiny, Jesus Christ. What were you thinking?!”

Ymir’s lips pressed together. “Listen here,” she growled, throwing Hitch’s hand off of her arm. “I didn’t fucking force Krista to do anything, you understand? Reiner nearly fucking killed me.” She lifted her chin, showing the harsh finger-like bruises along her throat. “That isn’t just bullying. I could have been in a coffin right now. Krista isn’t some doll for you to fuss over. She did what she should have done years ago—she stood up for something. You don’t even deserve her as a friend.” She shoved Hitch aside, anger thick in her gut, and prepared to storm away.

“Ha! That’s rich, coming from you.” Ymir paused. “Didn’t she break your little heart?”

Ymir’s chest pulled tight, and she clutched at the front of her shirt. She forced out a mocking laugh. “My heart?” she threw over her shoulder. “I don’t remember ever giving it to her.” She walked away then, sure that Hitch was staring, but not bothered to care.

XxX

Ymir sat in her early Life Sciences class, fingers drumming restlessly on the table top. The bell had just rung, and most students were still filtering in. First period was always like this. Ymir couldn’t stop herself from glancing at the door every few seconds, fingers moving to an invisible beat. Eventually Sasha stumbled into the class, wiping bread crumbs from her mouth, and dropped down into her seat beside Ymir.

“This school makes amazing toasties,” she sighed in satisfaction. “But they sell out so quickly. Sorry I didn’t meet you at the gate.”

Ymir stared forward, head slightly tilted to the side. Her fingers kept drumming. Her heart joined in. “No worries. How’s the bae?”

Sasha set her bag down on top of the table and then rested her face against it. “She’s okay,” she answered. “Her parents took her to the doctor, but it was just a broken nose. No concussion. Her eyes look really bad, and her shoulder hurts too from where Reiner smashed into her. That fuck face.” Her tone darkened to the end, and the cuss word was such a surprise that Ymir turned toward her. That had was a mistake. Sasha’s eyes widened. “What happened?”

Ymir pulled away from Sasha’s hands, but Sasha was persistent and pulled her face down to gently caress the line of stitches at her brow. “Nothing,” she muttered.

“Was it Hitch? But she couldn’t…” Sasha’s eyes narrowed. “It was Reiner, wasn’t it? Did he find you after the game?”

Ymir gently pried Sasha’s hands away from her bruises, sighing. “Yes, it was him. I’m fine, though. Stop fussing. God, it’s like you’re Ilse 2.0”

“Ilse?”

“My sister.”

Sasha sat back in her seat. “I didn’t see Reiner today. I hope I don’t. If he even comes near me I might just kick his ass.”

“Sasha.” Ymir turned fully in her seat until she was facing Sasha. Her tone was firm, her expression even more so. “Don’t approach that jackass. I did say to stick up for yourself, but he’s dangerous. He… he really could have hurt me yesterday.” Ymir rubbed at her sore throat without realizing it. Sasha followed her movements. Anger flashed over her face, but Ymir gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder and that seemed to calm her some.

“He hurt you, Ymir,” Sasha groaned. “He can’t get away with that.”

Ymir shrugged. “Life is shit. That’s how it goes.”

Sasha grumbled some more, but then their teacher arrived and told her to take her bag off the desk. She did so, glaring.

“Alright class, I have an announcement to make before we continue our work.” The class lowered their voices down to a whisper, curious. “As of this morning one of our students, Reiner Braun, has been suspended. It was brought to light that he assaulted not only a student from Rose, but one from Maria as well.”

Ymir swallowed thickly and waited for all eyes to turn to her, but no one did. Only Sasha sent her a questioning glance.

“The Reiss family have filed a complaint, and that is all that I have to say regarding the matter. I know you are curious about who and what, but that isn’t for me to share. We will need to select a new class leader for the duration of Reiner’s suspension. Any volunteers?”

Hands shot up into the air. Ymir ignored the next fourty minutes. She couldn’t stop thinking about the attack from the day before, and gingerly rubbed at her throat.

He really could have killed her. And the scary part was that he looked like he had wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 17:
> 
> Krista Reiss entered Titan Falls, pale blonde hair let down and laying over her shoulders. For a long, blinding moment, time seemed to stop. Ymir forgot all about her Life Orientation work, pen clattering to the table from her loosened grip. 
> 
> XxX
> 
> “You called me your friend,” Historia started nervously.
> 
> Ymir shrugged. “I seem to be making those now.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck it, I feel good so here's another chapter

Ymir flipped over onto her stomach, a hand trapped beneath the weight of her body. She was sleeping too deeply to notice or care. Her phone rang suddenly, vibrating excitedly on her bedside table. Ymir jerked awake, cursing softly and lifting her head to glare at her phone. The call ended, followed by a second one that lit the device again. Sighing, Ymir grabbed for the phone, hit answer and pressed it to her ear.

“ _Vem fan är det som ringer mig så här tidig_ _?_ ” she mumbled, far too asleep and disgruntled to try to English. _Who the hell is calling me so early?_

“Uh… Ymir?”

She didn’t recognize the voice. “ _Ja?_ What?”

“It’s Connie.”

Ymir turned over onto her side. She pulled the blanket up to her chin. “What do you want, Connie?”

“Sasha told me about what happened with Reiner.”

“So? It’s still early in the morning.”

“What? Oh shit, yeah. Sorry, I’m up early to practise with the team.”

Ymir cracked her eyes open and glared at a deep crack in her wall. “Get to the point. I still have sleep to get back to.”

“Do you spend your weekends sleeping?”

“Yes. _Point_.”

“Yes. Okay. So Mikasa is still banged up, but she offered to pay Reiner a visit with me. We can totally kick his fat face in if you want. Not only did he bust Mikasa’s pretty face, but yours too. That ain’t right. You’re Sasha’s friend, and for some reason I care about that idiot a lot. So, what do you say? Wanna watch that asshole get what’s coming to him?”

Ymir decided that she simply wouldn’t get anymore sleep so she sat up in bed and ran a hand through her messy short hair. “No thanks,” she drawled. “Is that seriously the reason you called me at seven in the morning?”

“Well, yeah. Else I’d forget.”

Ymir could see why he and Sasha got along well. They were both morons. “Well don’t worry about that. I’m not interested.”

“Seriously? But he beat you up.”

Ymir winced slightly when her thumb caught on one of the stitches. Part of her would like to see Reiner’s face beat in, but what was the point? Would he stop being a bully? Would physical violence suddenly change his view on things? No. It wouldn’t. “Look, if the asshole comes at me again and you guys are there, you’re more than welcome to join me in kicking the fuck out of him. But I’m not interested in approaching him.”

Connie groaned. “You’re just as boring as Sasha said.”

“Sasha is dead,” Ymir growled. “Why the fuck did she give you my number?”

“Because we are bros, Ymir. Bros share everything.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

“Alright. So you’re officially a boring old hag and I need to get back to practise. Hey, do you—”

Ymir lowered the phone, contemplated for a second, and then ended the call without another word. She heard it vibrate a moment later with a text, but tossed her phone aside and slid out of bed. It was still so early. But she was awake. Curse her body’s sleeping schedule. Swearing loudly, Ymir grabbed clean clothes from her cupboard and then climbed into the shower. Ilse was still busy getting ready, and she expressed her surprise when Ymir lumbered into the kitchen after her shower, hair still damp.

“You’re up early,” she commented.

“Yeah. I hope idiot isn’t contagious,” Ymir grumbled. She flicked the kettle on and then dumped coffee and sugar into a mug. Ilse eyed her with confusion as she grabbed the milk from the fridge. “A friend called over something stupid and woke me up.”

Ilse’s confusion melted to understanding, and then amusement. “Friend, huh? So you can make those now?”

Ymir pinched Ilse on the side, and jumped away when she tried to swat at her. “Ouch, you little shit!” she yelled.

Ymir laughed. “I think you mean _tall_ shit.”

“You will always be eight to me, Ymir. Especially when you act like a child.”

Ymir stuck her tongue out. The kettle switched off, water sufficiently boiled, and then she poured in the hot water and milk and stirred. “You off to work?”

“Yeah. Just needed to eat some toast. Are you going to stay in today?”

“Nah. I think I’ll go down to the mall.”

“Want me to drop you off?”

Ymir considered it. “Actually, yeah. Let me grab my school stuff.” She gulped her coffee down—wincing slightly at the burn—and then ran down to her room to grab her books and stationary. When she returned, Ilse waited for her at the front door.

“Ready?”

Ymir lifted her school bag. “Yup.”

Closing and locking the door, Ilse chuckled. “At least you’re as attentive with your school work as you are sarcastic.”

Ymir grinned. “You say the sweetest things.”

They smiled at each other and climbed into the car, and then Ilse dropped Ymir off and left for work. Ymir noted with a bit of relief that the sky was blue, and made her way to Titan Falls. She had to admit, it had become her favourite place to sit and do homework or study. Which was what she decided to do after ordering a Nutella milkshake and settling in at the table she had shared with Krista a few days ago.

There was a lot of worksheets to do for Life Sciences, as well as a project for Life Orientation that required her to pretend that she was building a non-profit organization to benefit her community. She made hers about educating bullies and giving support to victims of bullying. She had just written out an explanation of her organization when the door to Titan Falls opened, and she was gripped by the sudden intense desire to look up. She did.

Krista Reiss entered Titan Falls, pale blonde hair let down and laying over her shoulders. Her eyes were a bright blue, unusually vibrant and a little out of place in the dark greys and blacks of Titan Falls’ colour scheme. She wore a tight shirt and short skirt, and when her eyes landed on Ymir, a hot blush travelled across the expanse of Ymir’s neck and face.

For a long, blinding moment, time seemed to stop. Ymir forgot all about her Life Orientation work, pen clattering to the table from her loosened grip. Her eyes widened slightly, shocked dumb by the sudden, odd sensation coursing through her veins.

Ymir realized that her mouth was hanging open, and then quickly snapped it shut with her brows furrowed. Seriously, what the fuck was this feeling?

XxX

Historia felt her pulse hammering right there in her throat.

Unlike other stores in the mall, Titan Falls opened early every morning due to popular demand. Especially on weekends. For some reason, early risers tended to flock to the restaurant either before work, after a jog or simply because they wanted to. Historia liked going there so early, because no one who knew her visited the place so early. No one knew that she frequented the place at such a time, so it was ideal to catch a quiet moment to herself before the demands of her parents and school swallowed her up again.

But there was Ymir, staring at her with an odd intensity that made her squirm where she stood. The usual waitress that served her glided up to her side, smiling brightly despite how early she must have gotten up to be at work.

“Good mornin’, hon. The usual table?”

Historia swallowed and blinked at the woman. “Morning,” she greeted absently. “And, um, maybe. Hang on.” She flashed a small smile and then made her way over to Ymir. Those brown eyes were watching her walk closer, and it only made her nervous. She realized with a start that her hands here shaking, so she clasped them together as she paused by Ymir’s table.

“Good morning,” she said cheerfully. “I didn’t know that you’re an early riser.”

“Uh, morning.” Ymir glanced away. She looked suddenly uncomfortable, which made Historia regret her decision. Should she have rather pretended that she hadn’t seen Ymir? “Sasha’s idiot friend woke me up, so I let Ilse drop me off here. It’s, uh, it’s nice here so early.”

Historia inhaled deeply. Why was her heart beating so hard? What was it about Ymir that tangled up her insides? “It is. That’s why I come here over the weekends. Is that school work?”

Ymir glanced down at the book open on the table. She blinked “Oh yeah. It is. I’m working on that L.O project.”

“May I sit?”

Ymir nodded, much to Historia’s relief, so she took a seat and then sent the waitress a smile. The lady disappeared, off to get Historia’s usual—a cappuccino with cream. “It’s pretty easy, so I figured I’d do it now.”

Historia leaned forward. “Yeah. I finished mine yesterday. What topic did you choose?”

Ymir’s lips pulled down in a frown. Historia watched them. Her stomach fluttered, and she suddenly wondered how soft Ymir’s lips would feel on her own, or on her skin. A harsh, hot blush covered her cheeks and the tips of her ears. Had she just thought about _kissing_ Ymir? While there was no denying that Ymir was attractive—incredibly so—but for Historia to feel attracted to her?

_What am I doing?_

“Bullying,” Ymir answered quietly. “My organization is collecting funds and stuff to help kids that suffer from bullying, and to educate bullies on their behaviour.”

Historia felt as though a knife had plunged into her gut, and then _twisted_. She sucked in a breath, nodding. Luckily the waitress appeared with her drink, which saved her from having to provide a response. Especially since the woman decided to do a little conversing.

“Here ya go,” she said, smiling. She cast a meaningful look at Ymir, who had gone back to studying her book. “She your girlfriend?” It was asked with a cheeky grin, which only made Historia’s sudden embarrassment even worse. Ymir didn’t react at all, but Historia certainly did. She sputtered, hands waving.

“N-no! No we’re not. We’re, uh…”

“Friends,” Ymir commented casually. “We’re just friends. Could I maybe have another coke, please? Thanks.” She didn’t take her eyes off of her work, which seemed to irritate the waitress. But she shot Historia a wink and then hurried off to actually do her job. Historia sent Ymir a look.

“You called me your friend,” Historia started nervously.

Ymir shrugged. “I seem to be making those now.”

Warmth spread out from Historia’s chest. The hurt from earlier vanished in an instant. Ymir didn’t say any more, and Historia knew that she was intruding, so she was content to sit there and merely sip at her drink. She watched Ymir scribbled down notes, underlined certain things and bit down on her lip when she looked up and out of the window, contemplating. With her gaze she traced the strong lines of Ymir’s jaw, the length of her mouth, her nose and chin, the freckles dotting her face from cheekbones to the bridge of her nose. She watched as Ymir brushed her hair back, exposing a perfectly shaped ear. The bruises on her face were still there, but Historia didn’t remember the stitches. She must have gotten them after the attack. She wondered if Ymir’s face still hurt, and her chest ached at the thought that it probably did. An hour ticked by of Ymir doing her school work while Historia watched. It only took a moment, when Ymir’s eyes lifted and met hers, and her heart thumped hard in her chest, for Historia to realize something that left her out of breath and shaking.

Somehow in the past two weeks, she had fallen in love with Ymir Wikström.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 18:
> 
> “Good, good.” Her mother paused, realizing that there wasn’t much else she wanted to speak about. “Will you be home tonight?”
> 
> Historia considered saying no, but knew it wasn’t smart to do so. “Yes.”
> 
> “I will have Gerard prepare dinner for you.” A beat. “Goodbye Historia.”
> 
> XxX
> 
> Their last encounter had been rather civil. Friendly, even. Yeah, Ymir had even called her a friend. Had that been true, or had she simply said that for the waitress’s benefit? Historia fretted over that fact, lost deeply in her own thoughts, and missed the figure that stepped out from the side of the gate. She nearly walked into them, but then large hands clamped down on her shoulders, and Historia glanced up into Reiner’s face.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have officially dived into sin. I recently finished season 1 of Steven Universe and I ship Jaspis. Hard. As hard as Jasper's di- *clears throat* uh, yeah. Someone pray for me

Historia watched Nanaba slip out of the blankets and pad over to her discarded clothes on the floor. She was naked, but Historia didn’t have the peace of mind to look and feel anything. She stared up at the ceiling, mind swirling with panic and disbelief.

 _I’m in love with Ymir,_ she thought. _When did this happen?_

“Krista?” Nanaba was hovering over her, blue eyes clouded in worry. Guilt pressed down on Historia’s chest, making it difficult for her to breathe, especially when Nanaba pressed a palm to her cheek. “Are you alright? You were a bit… quiet, earlier.”

Historia flushed upon the realization. She had been distracted. While Nanaba had kissed the inside of her thighs, she had been thinking about brown eyes and freckles. She couldn’t even remember having an orgasm, but clearly she had. Her body felt light and satisfied, though her heart not.

“Sorry, just… thinking.”

Nanaba frowned. “Want to talk about it? I’m here whenever you need me.”

Historia sat up, brushing her long hair out of her face. She had never felt shy about her nudity in front of Nanaba, not since their first time, but she covered herself with the blanket. She felt dirty and used, even though she was the one doing the using. Nanaba’s eyes flicked to the blanket, then up to her face.

“I have to get going,” she started softly. “Smith has us practising really early. Will you be alright alone for the last hour?”

Historia nodded lamely. “I should be. I’ll find you during first break and give your keys.”

Nanaba smiled and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thank you. I’ll miss you.” She finished pulling on her clothes and grabbed her school bag from her computer desk. But before she slipped out of the door, she paused and sent Historia a meaningful look. “Krista?”

Historia looked up. “Yes?”

“I love you.” Historia’s stomach tightened. She felt sick. “You know that, right?”

She pasted a smile on her face, but she knew it looked strained. “O-of course.” She didn’t say it back. Nanaba waited for it, staring purposefully, and then she smiled gently and closed the door behind her. Historia listened to the sound of her footsteps recede, heart pounding. When the front door shut, she launched out of bed and pulled her clothes on. She still smelt Nanaba on her, felt her inside of her and consuming her, and it made her chest pull painfully.

_I’m in love with Ymir._

She ignored the love-bites marring her skin. They made her teeth clench. Had she ever told Nanaba that she loved her? Did she? Historia knew that she had an attraction, and Nanaba was so sweet and caring. But did she love her? How did she know that what she felt for Ymir was love, then?

Historia had never loved anyone before, not even herself.

She compared how she felt seeing Nanaba, to seeing Ymir, and realized with a harsh swallow that Nanaba made her feel a tiny spark of warmth, while Ymir ignited a blazing fire inside of her. There was just something about Ymir…

… that Nanaba didn’t do for her at all. And Nanaba loved her. Historia would only end up breaking her heart.

XxX

Leaving Nanaba’s flat and heading down the street made Historia feel as if she was doing the walk of shame. In a sense she was. She tightly gripped the strap of her school bag, deciding to set aside all of her thoughts and focus on school. She couldn’t afford to let her marks drop, least her parents actually start showing some semblance of concern. They really didn’t care, and Historia knew that. She had stopped caring about them years ago.

Historia’s phone rang suddenly, and she cursed softly under her breath. She answered, a quiver in her voice that she tried her best to stifle.

“Good morning, mother.”

“Historia,” Mrs Reiss breathed. “Where are you?”

Historia rubbed a hand over her face. “I slept over at Nanaba’s last night. I did request permission, mother. I left a note on the fridge and sent a text to remind you.”

“Oh.” There was a pause. “How is she doing? Are you making her happy?”

For any normal high school kid, their mother asking about their girlfriend would have made them ecstatic. Instead it made Historia nauseous. “She is fine, thank you for asking. Yes, I make sure to please her.”

“Good, good.” Her mother paused, realizing that there wasn’t much else she wanted to speak about. “Will you be home tonight?”

Historia considered saying no, but knew it wasn’t smart to do so. “Yes.”

“I will have Gerard prepare dinner for you.” A beat. “Goodbye Historia.”

The call ended before she could return the farewell, and then she sighed and slipped the phone into her pocket. What would it feel like, to have a mother that genuinely cared about her? A father that called on his business trips because he missed her and wanted to know how she was doing? She had no idea. And she knew that she never would.

Historia realized that she had already reached the ever looming walls of Maria High. As much as she didn’t want to, she headed towards them. She dipped her head, not looking forward to seeing Nanaba. Though she was slightly anticipating Ymir. Their last encounter had been rather civil. Friendly, even. Yeah, Ymir had even called her a friend. Had that been true, or had she simply said that for the waitress’s benefit? Historia fretted over that fact, lost deeply in her own thoughts, and missed the figure that stepped out from the side of the gate. She nearly walked into them, but then large hands clamped down on her shoulders, and Historia glanced up into Reiner’s face.

“Krista,” he started steadily. He looked pale and sickly, and his eyes were red. “We need to talk.”

Historia swallowed. She saw flashes of memories—Reiner pushing Ymir to the ground, hitting her, choking her. She gasped and pulled out of his grasp, but he reached for her again. “No!” she shouted loudly. There was no one around them, but she still shot a concerned glance to see if there was anyone she could call out to. Apart from a figure down the street, they were alone. Historia’s heart fluttered in fright.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” he said quickly. He looked jittery and unstable. “I just want to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she hissed. She felt something come over her. Anger? Fear? Disgust? Steadily Krista slipped away from her, and she no longer knew how to smile and shove her concerns down.

“Please,” he pleaded brokenly. “Just let me explain.”

“Explain what?” Historia snarled. Even she was surprised at her own tone. “How you’re a huge asshole and a bully? I remember what you did to Ymir. What, bullying her all those years ago wasn’t enough for you? You had to seriously assault her too? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Air hissed through Reiner’s teeth, and he staggered slightly as if he would topple right over. He stared at her, eyes wide with surprise and pain. “I didn’t… I mean… I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t going to make it better. I’m not even the one you need to apologize to.”

He lifted a hand and tried to touch her bruised mouth, but she slapped his hand away. “I hit you.”

“Don’t touch me.”

“I’m sorry, Krista. Please, don’t hate me.”

Historia narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

Anguish washed over his face. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so aggressive with him. He looked like he was traveling a harsh downward spiral, and her words had only seemed to push him faster. He grabbed her wrist suddenly, face red.

“Just let me explain, please!”

“Let go!”

She scratched at his hand, but he only grabbed her other one and tugged her closer to him. She smelt alcohol on his breath. He had been drinking? Was that why he looked so tired? “Listen to me, damnit!”

Historia knew that she should have stopped resisting, but there was a fire in her gut that she couldn’t suffocate. She tried to pull her wrists free, but Reiner’s hands were like iron bars. His eyes bore down into hers, filled with sadness and anger. She didn’t want to see it. She wanted nothing to do with it. She felt panic claw up her insides, and took a breath to start screaming, but then a fist shot out and cracked across Reiner’s face, spurting his blood into the morning air. His grip loosened and he collapsed, but Historia felt the force of his tug and nearly fell with him. Instead she was pulled back against a warm chest, and then a voice like honey drizzled with poison spoke over her head.

“What the fuck are you doing, Reiner?” Ymir growled. “Was punching her not enough for you?”

Historia had to crane her neck around, since her face was pressed against Ymir’s chest. Now knowing her feelings for Ymir had changed, being so close flustered her. She went bright red, and hated the way Ymir seemed to tremble. Her voice filled with deep, unrestrained anger. Unlike how Reiner’s frightened her, Ymir’s temper made her feel secure. Whatever it was, Ymir could handle herself.

“This has nothing to do with you, foreigner!” Reiner shouted. He stumbled onto his feet and wiped the blood from his face.

“Like hell it does!”

Historia’s chest blossomed with anger. She pushed away from Ymir slightly, turning to glare daggers at Reiner. “Her name is Ymir!” she yelled. “Not fucking _foreigner,_ you giant stick of meat! Stop being such a _jackass!_ ”

Reiner choked on his tongue and Ymir’s laughter filled the silence. Something like pride welled up in Historia, especially when Reiner stumbled a few steps back, glare darkening. “This isn’t over,” he warned, fists trembling.

Ymir scoffed, and then they remained silent as they watched him limp away. Historia was still pressed against Ymir, wrapped up in her arms. She pulled away quickly, blushing.

“Thank you,” she started. “I thought he was going to kidnap me or something.”

Ymir gave her a levelled stare. “You stood up to him,” she observed. “That was cool of you.”

That pride from earlier returned. Historia couldn’t help but puff up because of it. “Well, what are friends for?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Usually not a nuisance so early in the morning.” She rubbed at her eyes, sighing. Historia noticed that she looked just as tired. “You look…” Ymir caught her gaze. “Different.”

Historia felt different, too. ‘Krista’ hadn’t slipped back over her face. She didn’t feel the overwhelmingly heavy weight of that persona on her shoulders. She tilted her head. “You’re right. I don’t know why, but when I’m with you, Ymir, I feel like I can do anything. As long as I’m by your side, I can be myself.” She blushed. “Sorry, that was weird to say.”

Ymir suddenly flicked her forehead. “Don’t apologize for being you. And figure out a way to be the real you on your own. I’m not small enough to fit in your pocket.” She chuckled at the thought while Historia blushed again, but then her expression dropped and she frowned.

“Ymir?” Historia asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Look…” she sighed loudly. “I just… about what I said my first day here. I called you a bitch. I’m sorry. I had a lot of anger aimed at you. These past weeks have shown me that you’re more than my memories.”

Historia felt tears prickle at her eyes. “You don’t need to apologize for that. God, you’re the last person that needs to say sorry.”

Ymir shrugged. “I do. I forgive you for what you did. I forgave you years ago. I’d just never gotten over my anger and hurt. I thought you were my first friend, you know? And then you told me to get lost, like everyone else did.” Ymir blew out a long breath. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, which made the moment more honest. Historia had no words to express her appreciation. She didn’t deserve to have Ymir explain this to her, yet here Ymir was. She was overwhelmed.

“I’m still so sorry for what I did to you, Ymir,” she choked out. The tears spilled over and down her cheeks. She didn’t stop them. She cried openly and honestly in front of Ymir’s burning gaze. “I liked you too, back then. I really did. I thought you were really sweet and cute, but my friends didn’t like you, and I needed to please my friends. I was a shitty person. I still am.” She buried her face into her hands, sobbing.

A warm hand covered her head, and then she felt Ymir step closer. She was pressed against Ymir’s chest again, where she continued to sob quietly and Ymir said nothing. Ymir let her expel everything that hurt, every ache and torment. She was grateful. She loved Ymir even more for it, and that only made her cry harder.

Why would Ymir ever love someone as empty and broken as her?

Eventually the tears stopped, and then she drew back and wiped at her face. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Sorr—” she stopped mid-word. Ymir sent her a lifted brow, but she rolled her eyes and sighed.

“We should get inside the school,” Ymir told her. “People will start arriving now. You don’t want them to see you looking all soggy, do you?”

Historia laughed around a sniffle. She nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Ymir hovered for a second, and then she stepped away. “See you around,” she said. When Historia nodded and sent her a teary smile, she turned and walked away.

Historia couldn’t help but feel like she was watching her heart walk away, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 19:
> 
> “Hey, it’s Krista!” Sasha exclaimed, looking at the door.
> 
> Everyone’s eyes followed, even Mikasa’s. Ymir’s heart squeezed, and she swallowed lightly. “So what?” she asked.
> 
> “She’s your friend, right?” Sasha went on. “So let’s ask her to join! I think Nanaba is at practise, so she’ll probably be sitting alone.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time skip! Just wanna say thank you to every person that has read and taken their time to comment/kudos. That really means a lot to me, and it really inspires me to continue writing and keeping ahead of updates. After reviewing the plot I have for this fic so far, it might very well breach 50 chapters. Also next chapter will either break your heart or make you pop a few bottles.

It was the first day of the second term, and also first break. Their first three periods had been spent looking over their reports and tests, and Historia was unusually tired. She felt a little better being at school, but her chest felt heavy. She had been forced to accompany her parents overseas for the duration of her two week vacation, which meant that she spent two weeks alone at a hotel in a foreign country while both of her parents disappeared. She hated it, but never had the option to stay home.

Mina and Hitch were excitedly chatting over something they had done over the break. Reiner wasn’t with them. He still hadn’t returned to school, and Hitch had mentioned that his father had put him in therapy. Apparently Reiner had been using drugs. Reiner also suffered from chronic depression, and no one took him seriously until he started spiralling, like he had. She didn’t regret how she had stood up to him, though. Nothing excused his shitty behaviour.

Historia cast her glance across the quad for the seventh time, where she could see Ymir and Sasha sitting together at their usual spot. Ymir looked a lot better. Her face had healed up, but there was a slight gap at her brow where the scar ran through. It only made her a little more intimidating, which she seemed to enjoy. Historia grinned lightly as she watched them. Ymir had a pair of sticks in her hand, and she was drumming on Sasha’s head as Sasha used a banana as a microphone. When Ymir whacked a little too hard and the sticks broke, the both of them cracked up laughing.

A wave of emotion welled up inside of her at the sight of Ymir’s cheerful expression. Ymir tossed the sticks aside, and then she caught Historia staring, and she smiled. Historia’s heart fluttered and her tummy twisted. She sucked in a shallow breath and bit down onto her lip, waving her fingers in greeting. Ymir waved back, but then Sasha made a comment and Ymir whipped around to slap her upside the head. Historia sighed softly, cheek pressed up against her palm.

“Krista?”

She jumped at the sound of the name. Nanaba, who was sitting right behind her, caressed her cheek with furrowed brows. “Mm?”

“Did you hear me?”

Historia shot one more selfish glance at Ymir. She was talking rapidly while Sasha watched her with wide eyes. “No, sorry.”

Nanaba followed her gaze and frowned. “I asked if you’d like to go out tonight.”

Historia’s heart dropped. She forced herself to turn away, because the temptation of looking at Ymir again was too much. She couldn’t stop herself. Ymir was just so… irresistible. Historia blushed lightly at the thought and met Nanaba’s concerned gaze. “What for?”

Hurt flashed across Nanaba’s face. “Well, uh…” she cleared her throat.

“Holy shit, did Krista forget?” Hitch muttered beside them.

“Ouch,” Mina added.

Nanaba sighed and waited for Historia to say something, but she was genuinely at a loss. “It’s our one year anniversary, Krista.”

Guilt and shame swallowed her happiness whole. How on earth had she forgotten? Well… she knew how. It made her feel terrible. Nanaba probably had something really sweet planned, but there Historia was, staring after and longing for someone else entirely.

Historia had to tell her. She needed Nanaba to know that she deserved better. Nanaba deserved someone that would cherish her more than anything. Historia wanted to be that person, but she simply couldn’t. She didn’t know how.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve just been stressing a lot. It’s matric, and finals are almost here.”

Nanaba’s expression melted into understanding. Historia felt terrible for her lies. “Oh,” Nanaba breathed. “Well, can I pick you up tonight, then?”

“Let me get permission from my mother, and then I’ll let you know.”

Nanaba grinned at her and leaned in for a kiss. Historia couldn’t stop herself from turning her head slightly, and Nanaba’s lips pressed to her cheek. She felt Nanaba’s grip in her hand tighten. Her cheek didn’t tingle.

XxX

Ymir thought it was ideal that her last period for the first day back was Visual Art. She sat at her desk, fingers drumming on the table top. Her stomach felt tight with nerves. Their teacher, Miss Rico Brzenska, was busy calling students up to her desk and giving them their first term projects back. To some students she merely handed it over with a neutral expression, but some she kept at her desk to talk to. Ymir was nervous.

“Ymir Wikström,” the teacher drawled.

Ymir breathed in softly and then stood. When she paused by Rico’s desk she felt her heart stutter. Her project was on the teacher’s desk, but she wasn’t handing it over yet.

“I was very impressed with your work, Ymir,” Rico stated. “What was your muse?”

Ymir nervously rubbed her forearm, cheeks red. She wasn’t accustomed to a teacher complimenting her art like that. “Well, a friend. She was my inspiration.”

“Well done,” Rico breathed. She pulled the drawing closer, eyes raking over the entirety of it. “I was left breathless with emotion. I felt conflict over this girl, torn apart into two personas. It looks like your friend has a lot of emotional conflict to sort through. Are you two close?”

Ymir swallowed. “Not really, no.”

“Oh. Would it be too forward to ask you to use her again?” She lifted a brow, so Ymir merely shook her head. “Good. This term’s topic is ‘light’. It’s in stark contrast to last terms theme, which I think is pretty neat. I’d like to see this girl represented in light. No one has nothing but darkness. Can you do that?”

Ymir nodded dumbly. Rico grinned at her, and then handed the drawing over and shooed her back to her desk. Ymir sat down in a daze. A paper stapled to her drawing had a huge, red 100/100 _well done!_ written on it. A tiny grin formed on Ymir’s face, but she hid it.

She wondered how on earth she would get Krista to let her do another project on her. Because Ymir had a feeling that this time she couldn’t simply do it from memory. She needed to see Krista smile and laugh. She needed to see Krista in the light.

XxX

Ymir wanted to start brain storming for her art project, but Sasha had invited Connie and Mikasa over, and the table was quite lively with both Sasha and Connie talking loudly over mouthfuls of food. Mikasa was at least silent as she chewed on her chips, and Ymir mirrored her by focusing on her burger.

Titan Falls really did have the best food.

“So have you seen that asshat yet?” Connie asked, turning his head to send the question to Ymir. She merely shook her head and continued eating. “Aw, man. I really wanted to bust him up. You sure you don’t want us to give him a house call?”

Ymir rolled her eyes and swallowed. “Pretty sure.” She took a sip of her coke. “Wouldn’t change anything.”

Mikasa nodded slightly, but Connie groaned and rolled his eyes. “It would change me. I’d get the satisfaction.”

Sasha slapped his hand lightly. “Violence doesn’t solve everything, Con’. Let it go. I think Ymir is being the bigger person here. Have you seen her angry?” She shuddered. “Once, a teacher refused to say her name correctly. Ymir ignored it for a week flat, and then she lost her shit. She nearly threw her desk out of the classroom. I was shaking in my seat.”

Ymir scoffed. “I did not throw anything.”

“Holy shit,” Connie breathed. His eyes were wide. “Noted.”

“You are both idiots,” Ymir grumbled.

The two of them started to laugh, and Mikasa pulled a book out of her bag to begin reading. Ymir eyed her. That wasn’t fair. Mikasa could disappear into her own world while the idiot duo forced her to be sociable. Totally wasn’t fair.

“Hey, it’s Krista!” Sasha exclaimed, looking at the door.

Everyone’s eyes followed, even Mikasa’s. Ymir’s heart squeezed, and she swallowed lightly. “So what?” she asked.

“She’s your friend, right?” Sasha went on. “So let’s ask her to join! I think Nanaba is at practise, so she’ll probably be sitting alone.”

Before Ymir could tell Sasha not to, she started waving and hollering. Krista started at the loud shout of her name, and her eyes widened upon seeing them. She glanced behind her, saw no one there and then hesitantly pointed at herself and mouthed, ‘ _me?’_

Sasha nodded enthusiastically. Krista stood for a long second, eyes wide, and then she made her way over. “Um, hi,” she greeted them.

Connie scrambled out of his seat beside Ymir and slid in beside Mikasa and Sasha, and Sasha pointed at the now vacant spot. “Sit!” she exclaimed, grinning.

Krista eyed her, but did as she was told. “Um, did I do something wrong?”

“Wrong?” Sasha laughed. “I just thought you’d like to sit with us, is all. You and Ymir are friends, and any friend of Ymir’s is mine, too.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. She sent Krista a nervous smile. Sitting so close to her had Ymir’s heart thudding hard.

“Oh,” Krista breathed in surprise. “Really? You don’t mind my company?”

Sasha nodded. “You don’t have to sit with us if you don’t want to…” She frowned, and it was obvious that she was thinking about Hitch and the fact that Krista was her friend. “Otherwise you’re more than welcome.”

Krista smiled. “I’d like to, then. Thank you Sasha.”

“Wha—you know my name?”

Krista tilted her head. “Yeah, of course I do.”

Connie elbowed Sasha’s side. “Listen, your girlfriend is right next to you.”

Sasha sputtered and whipped around to shoot Mikasa a look, but she hadn’t even looked up from her book. “Mika… I didn’t mean—”

“Sasha.” Mikasa closed her book gingerly and then took Sasha’s hand. “Relax. I don’t feel threatened. I know you love me.”

Ymir felt the urge to slam her face down on the table. Apparently Connie had as well, but he actually did it. Krista, on the other hand, seemed to notice Mikasa’s book.

“You read?” she asked curiously.

Mikasa glanced at her. “Yeah. You?”

“Oh yes. I love reading. What book is that?”

Mikasa lifted the cover. “Go Set a Watchman,” she answered. “I prefer classics.”

Krista’s face flushed with happiness. “Me too! I’m currently reading a science fiction book, though. Have you read To Kill a Mockingbird?”

“Of course.”

“Animal Farm?”

Mikasa smirked. “When I was five.”

Krista’s eyes shone with sudden adoration. “That’s amazing. What else do you read besides classics?”

Ymir stared at them conversing. Mikasa was oddly animated and Krista… well, she was glowing. Inspiration suddenly hit, and Ymir silently pulled her sketch pad out. As Krista babbled on about her favourite books, Ymir began to sketch her. Every smile, every flash of recognition or curiosity, she tried to capture it all on paper.

Ymir had never seen her so happy before. And it gave her a fantastic idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 20:
> 
> “I want to ask you something,” she started. She lifted herself slowly and dug around in her pocket. “I know we’re young, but I love you, Krista.”
> 
> Historia’s heart seized up. No… she can’t be thinking… Her face must have showed her shock, because Nanaba grinned at her sheepishly.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the chapter I think all of you have been eagerly waiting for, either with anticipation or dread. The end of NaKuri. The full YumiKuri may now commence

Part of Historia had hoped that her mother would refuse to give her permission to go out with Nanaba, but of course she didn’t. Nanaba was all of the things her parents wanted for her in a future spouse—from a proud, rich family, ruggedly good looking, successful in school and in line to inherit the family fortune. Hell, if Nanaba had been an abusive asshole, they probably still would have insisted on the relationship.

Historia sat on her bed, fiddling with the necklace at her throat. Nanaba had bought it for her on their one month anniversary. She felt sick to her stomach. It was almost 7PM, so she was waiting for Nanaba to pick her up.

The house was empty. When Nanaba called to inform Historia that she was there, Historia quietly walked out of the mansion and down the long driveway to the entrance of the estate. Nanaba waited, leaning against the side of the car and staring off to the side. When she noticed Historia she smiled.

“Hey you,” Nanaba greeted cheerfully. She didn’t kiss her, much to Historia’s relief, but pushed off from the car and opened the door for her.

Historia smiled at her, though with a touch of strain. “Thanks.” She sat down and buckled her seatbelt. “Where are we going?” she asked as soon as Nanaba climbed in beside her.

“Well, I thought we could just watch a movie,” she answered. “That okay?”

Historia nodded. “Sounds good.”

They left the Reiss property and headed into the city. Thankfully Nanaba didn’t initiate any conversation, and instead switched the radio on.

“ _’cause I’m tellin’ you, you’re all I need. I’ll never leave … so you can drag me through hell! If you’re mad I can hold your hand. I will follow you, ‘cause I’m under your spell. And you can throw me to the flames. I will follow you. I will follow you,”_ filtered through the speakers. Historia’s throat felt tight.

They made it to the cinema in relative silence. Nanaba gently took her hand as they walked, and though the contact was light, it still made Historia sick with nerves and shame.

“Any word on Reiner?” Nanaba asked suddenly.

They stepped in line to get tickets. “Uh, no. Not really. Last I heard he was seeing a therapist.”

Nanaba nodded. “He seemed like he had some serious anger issues.”

“He did.”

“Alright.” Historia thought the conversation had ended, but apparently not. “So, how’s Ymir doing?”

_Ymir…_

“I wouldn’t really know,” Historia answered. Her heart began to flutter. “We don’t hang out.”

Nanaba eyed her. “You seemed pretty close.”

“Not really.”

The line cleared up quickly, allowing Historia a moment to breathe while Nanaba purchased their tickets and snacks. When that was taken care off, they headed on inside and sat down. Nanaba held onto her hand while they waited for the movie, and all throughout as it played. Toward the end Historia gently pulled away, and then she slumped in her seat. She had no idea what the movie was about. She hadn’t been able to pay attention at all.

When they were done, Historia was fully prepared to go home. She was tired and miserable. But Nanaba didn’t drive them that way, and with discomfort and panic, Historia realized where Nanaba was taking her.

“The park?” she enquired, voice a little choked.

“Yeah,” Nanaba answered casually. “Where we met, and where I asked you out. I thought it would be nice coming here for our one year anniversary.” Nanaba glanced at her. “Is that alright?”

 _No,_ Historia wanted to shout. _No, because I’m going to break your heart._ But she didn’t do more than smile and nod, and that seemed to placate Nanaba enough. They parked as close to the park as they could and then Nanaba grabbed a basket and blanket from the boot. This time Historia offered her hand, earning a bright smile from Nanaba after she took it.

They walked around until they found a spot underneath a large tree filled with a string of lights. Nanaba spread the blanket out while Historia watched, and when she was satisfied with it, she dropped down and then pulled Historia onto her lap and put the basket aside.

“What do you think?” Nanaba asked. Her blue eyes glowed underneath the shallow golden light. The place was really beautiful. Historia stared at her for a moment, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

_What am I doing?_

“I love it,” she breathed. “You’re amazing, Nanaba.”

Nanaba grinned in response. “Can I kiss you?”

Historia wondered why she asked. But her stomach fluttered—like it used to—and she nodded. They met halfway, Nanaba’s lips familiar and warm, and Historia’s panic melted away. This was a comfort that she knew very well. Nanaba had been the only safe place in her life.

Nanaba slipped a hand underneath her shirt, caressing the warm skin there.

In times of stress or anxiety, Nanaba had always been there to hold her hand and kiss away the crease at her brow. Out of everyone that she could have been with, Nanaba had chosen Historia, and she still didn’t understand why.

Nanaba deepened the kiss, and then she gently turned them over so that Historia was beneath her. It was a position Nanaba enjoyed, and Historia had many pleasant memories of being on her back like that while Nanaba worshipped her body, but she stiffened suddenly.

Nanaba’s lips left hers to trail along her jaw, down her throat. She expected Nanaba to start removing her clothing, or slip a hand in her pants, but neither happened. Instead Nanaba paused and sunk into her—not with all of her weight—and then she exhaled.

“I want to ask you something,” she started. She lifted herself slowly and dug around in her pocket. “I know we’re young, but I love you, Krista.”

Historia’s heart seized up. _No… she can’t be thinking…_ Her face must have showed her shock, because Nanaba grinned at her sheepishly.

“I know,” Nanaba told her. “But will you marry me?” She pulled a ring from her back pocket, and held it up so that the light around them caught on the sparkling diamonds. Historia stared down at it, horror crashing down on her.

“N-Nanaba…” she choked out just barely above a whisper. She could see it. That ring on her finger, Nanaba beside her, older and happy, her belly rounded with Nanaba’s child. A few weeks ago that would have made her happy to think of, but not anymore. Historia saw brown eyes and dark skin, and she couldn’t speak.

“I thought so,” Nanaba sighed softly. She put the ring away and climbed off of Historia. “I really was going to ask you,” she started. “But after the year ended. Before we left for different universities. I do love you, Krista. More than I’ve ever loved someone before.” She dropped down onto her knees, and then sucked in a deep breath. Historia’s heart shattered at the sight of tears on her face. “But you love her, don’t you?” she asked brokenly. “Ymir?”

Historia’s mind screamed at her to move, to do something other than lay there with widened eyes. She licked her dry lips and pushed up onto her elbows. “Nanaba… I…”

“Did you ever love me?” It was asked with such sadness that Historia wanted to cry too.

“I wanted to…” she choked out. “I don’t even know how to love myself.”

“But you love her,” Nanaba insisted. “It was so obvious to me. I felt you slipping away, but I couldn’t hold on.” Nanaba buried her face into her hands, shoulders shaking. “She gives you something I don’t, doesn’t she?”

Historia owed Nanaba her words. The truth. “With her, I can be myself,” she admitted quietly. “Nanaba I… I haven’t been honest with you. With anyone. Krista isn’t even my name.” Nanaba glanced up at her in surprise. Tears tracked down her cheeks. “See? But with Ymir… she makes me want to be me. The real me. I want to hear my name from her. I didn’t want this. I never asked for any of this. Nanaba, I do love you.” She crawled closer and gently took Nanaba’s trembling hand. “But not the way you want to be loved. You deserve better than me. You’re an amazing person, and I’m sure you won’t struggle to find someone special.”

Nanaba leaned into her, face pressed to Historia’s shoulder. “Can I just have tonight with you?” she begged, tears in her voice. “One more night, and then we go our separate ways?”

Historia lifted Nanaba’s face and gently caressed her cheek. “Okay,” she said. “Thank you for understanding.” Her own tears threatened to escape, but that would be unfair of her. Nanaba was the one truly hurting.

“How can I not?” Nanaba asked. She lightly rested her forehead against Historia’s. “Will you be happy with her?”

“I don’t know if I even have a chance.”

“Please be safe. I don’t want your heart broken.”

Historia rested Nanaba’s palm against her chest. “I’m not sure it can be. But I’ll be careful.”

Nanaba smiled. They both slid down on the blanket, clutching at each other. Nanaba didn’t cry again, but she was silent and solemn. Historia stared up into the trees, counted the many little lights.

And still, she could not stop thinking about Ymir.

XxX

Historia’s heart was overly heavy after Nanaba dropped her off at the estate. She stared after Nanaba as she drove off, and then forced herself to shrug off the sadness and head inside. They had ended as friends. Nanaba was hurt, but she understood. She forgave her. It was much more than Historia deserved, but it was at least something

So Historia wasn’t expecting to see a text from her father just as she stepped into the mansion.

**_Father:_ ** _Come to my office. Now._

When had he gotten back? Where was her mother? Panic fluttered in Historia’s stomach. The house staff seemed to have all left, and it was eerily silent. Historia checked the text a second time just to make sure she hadn’t imagined it. But it was there.

Mr Reiss sat in his huge leather chair, a laptop in front of him and cold blue eyes glued to the screen. Historia watched the scrolling webpage reflected on his glasses. His long blonde hair was pulled up high in a ponytail, and if it was possible, he looked larger than when Historia had seen him last. His suit strained against large muscular shoulders and thick arms, and when he glanced up at her, she shivered in fear.

“Historia,” he stated simply. “Sit.” It was a stern command. Historia obeyed immediately and did not dare speak without being prompted to. “Do you know why I requested your presence?” he asked. His eyes had returned to the screen, as if she wasn’t important enough for him to maintain eye contact. Anger burned in her belly, but she shoved it down.

“No, father,” she answered quietly.

Mr Reiss’s eyes flicked up to stare at her face. She saw nothing but disappointment there. “What is this, then?” he tossed a paper on the desk. It slid over and fell to the floor. When Historia bent to pick it up, she swallowed lightly, heart pounding.

“My report,” she answered lamely.

“Yes, your report,” he echoed. “And what do you see?”

She scanned the numbers, already aware of what had caused his anger.  She had scores between 80% and 90%. Having one below 90% was bad enough, but more than one? Historia had known her father would be furious. She just didn’t expect him to return so soon to berate her for it.

“My marks are disgraceful,” she answered, eyes sliding down to look at her lap. She felt tears press at her eyelids. “I did not maintain my standard.”

“No, you did not,” Mr Reiss shot back angrily. He slammed his laptop shut and stood, sending his chair smacking against the wall. “Have I done you injustice?” he barked. “All I ask of you is to maintain your imagine. You are my daughter and you represent me. Was this so difficult a task, Historia?” He waited for an answer, but she could give none. Her lips were trembling. “I asked you a question, child!” His fist slammed into his desk.

Historia jumped in her seat. She bit down hard into her lip, because it was quivering violently. The tears pressed in harsher, but she resisted them. Anger and fear bellowed inside of her, but she sat still, trembling and raging inside. “It was a reasonable expectation,” she answered quietly.

“I feed you,” he continued, voice like ice. “I clothe you. I shelter you. I allow you to go to school and enjoy a high school life. And this is the thanks that I get? What more do you need?!”

Historia’s nails dug deeply into the flesh of her palms, drawing blood. Her trembling fear turned into trembling anger. One second she was ready to get down on her knees and beg and plead for forgiveness, and then the next she was standing, lifting her head defiantly to glare up into the endless emptiness of Mr Reiss’s stare. His eyes widened slightly at her expression.

“Your attention!” she roared. “Your love! Your acknowledgement! A shred of care for my actual wellbeing and not something as superficial as my damn reputation. That’s what I need.” She was shaking so badly that she could barely stand. Frightened and sick with fury, Historia headed for the door. For a second she was terrified that her father would strike her—he never had, not once in her life, but his expression had darkened with fury that matched her own. “You make me wish I was never born!” she screamed at him, backing away towards the door. The tears finally fell. “And some days, you make me want to die, because I seem to be nothing but a burden to you and mother! But I am a person, father, I have feelings. This heart in my chest aches and burns, because I’ve only ever wanted you to look at me, and love me!” She ripped the door open. “So take that report and adopt it! I’m done!” She slammed the door, satisfied by his stunned expression and then rushed to her room in case he chased after her.

He didn’t.

Historia locked her room and collapsed on her bed, sobbing brokenly into her pillow. Her make-up ran and smudged everything, but she didn’t care. She had never spoken back to her father. She had never looked him in the eye and challenged him to _see_ her. It was overwhelming, both because she was terrified he would put her out on the street, but also because she felt empowered. Her parents let her do what she wanted because they were confident in their ability to frighten her into submission. But no more. If they wanted to act as if she was invisible, she would force them to see her. She was their daughter. They had brought her into this world. She was done taking on the guilt of that herself. It was not her burden to carry.

Suddenly the chains around her heart dropped off. Tears poured down her face and she was hiccupping, but she felt amazing. She had never felt so free.

Historia’s phone buzzed with a text.

**_Hitch:_ ** _Yo, you getting laid rn or what?_

Historia laughed out loud. She wiped at her face, but the tears still came. She switched her stereo on, waited for _Cross My Mind_ by Arizona to drown out her sobbing, and then tapped out a quick reply.

**_Krista:_ ** _Nanaba proposed_

**_Hitch:_ ** _Holy fucking shit. What did you say?_

**_Krista:_ ** _I broke up with her_

**_Hitch:_ ** _Okay back up. What the fuck? Why the fuck would you do that?_

**_Krista:_ ** _I’m not in love with her, Hitch. I never was._

**_Hitch:_ ** _..._

**_Hitch:_ ** _Are you okay?_

**_Krista:_ ** _Just yelled at my father. He might actually kick me out onto the street, or send me to a school across the country. But I think I’ll be fine._

**_Hitch:_ ** _Jesus, Kris. I didn’t know you had it so bad._

Historia deliberated for a long moment, and then she finally made a decision.

**_Krista:_ ** _I have something to tell you._

**_Hitch:_ ** _Okay?_

**_Krista:_ ** _Krista is not my real name._

**_Hitch:_ ** _Are you sure you’re not having a breakdown? Not your real name? Why would you even do that? What is it then?_

Historia sucked in a shaky breath.

**_Krista:_ ** _I want to tell you in person. Tomorrow before school. Okay?_

**_Hitch:_ ** _Okay, fine. You sure you’re fine?_

**_Krista:_ ** _I will be._

Historia pressed her phone down against her chest and exhaled loudly. _Ordinary Human_ by One Republic began to play, the bass rumbling through the floor, soothing her aching body and shuddering heart. She thought about Ymir. What would Ymir think about what she had done? She had been honest with Nanaba, with her father and now Hitch. She was definitely going to tell them her real name. But before she did, she would tell Ymir. She felt like she was finally ready. It was about time that she embraced who she was, and stopped trying to become what everyone else wanted her to be. She would find out who Historia really was, and then she would accept her and _be_ her.

Historia’s phone buzzed again, so she lifted it with mild curiosity. Her heart shot up into her throat when she noted the number. It was one she had acquired before the holiday, but hadn’t had the courage to message yet. It was Ymir. And her message left Historia breathless.

**_Ymir:_ ** _Hey, I want to ask a favour of you. Could we meet up early tomorrow morning before school at the gate? Ymir._

Historia trembled. She closed her eyes and saw Ymir. Her stomach fluttered wildly and her heart soared. Despite the fact that she probably had no chance with Ymir at all, she decided that she would at least try to be her friend. So with a shuddering breath, she responded.

**_Krista:_ ** _Yeah, no problem. I’ll be there._

She closed her eyes and breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 21:
> 
> “My real name…” she started, licking her lips. Her pulse thrummed hard in her throat and she could feel a roaring in her ears. It was a little difficult to breathe, but she decided to push forward and ignore her sick anxiety. “It’s—”
> 
> Ymir’s thumb pressed against her lips, silencing her. “You don’t have to,” Ymir breathed. “Only when you’re ready.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am obsessed with Steven Universe and Jaspis. Someone save me. Enjoy the chapter!

The house was vacant, empty of both her parents and the housing staff. Historia didn’t much mind, though. She breathed a sigh of relief that there wouldn’t be any confrontation and headed out. She called for her driver—not even caring that her mother hadn’t even let her know that she wouldn’t be available to give her a lift. Her hands started shaking as school drew nearer, and Historia curled a lock of hair behind her ear. She was nervous. Insanely nervous. Not only had she set herself up for a lot of cold, hard truth, but she could see Ymir’s figure leaning against the gate and it sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

“Miss Reiss,” the driver spoke softly. “We have arrived. Have a good day at school.”

Historia gave him a curt nod and a smile and hopped out. She procrastinated by watching the car disappear down the road, and then steeled herself as she turned. Ymir stood there, earphones in her ears but eyes on Historia. Historia opened her mouth to say something, but she caught sight of the words on Ymir’s shirt and found herself giggling.

“ ** _Me? Jealous of you? Bless your delusional heart._** ”

Ymir popped an earphone out and lifted a brow. “What’s so funny?”

Historia merely pointed at her chest. “You like crude shirts?”

“Oh.” Ymir grinned awkwardly. “Yeah. It’s fun seeing people’s reactions.”

“How do you get away with wearing them at school?”

Ymir paused her music and shoved her phone and earphones into her pocket. She pushed away from the wall. “I have a resting bitch face,” she explained. “Teachers fear me.”

Historia couldn’t stop herself from laughing. She pressed a hand against her mouth in shock, but Ymir didn’t seem bothered. If anything she was just as amused. The closer she stepped, the faster Historia’s heart began to pound. She could suddenly smell Ymir, which sent sparks along her skin all the way into her heart. She cleared her throat. “So, what do you need me for?”

Some students walked past, talking loudly and laughing. Ymir sent them a glare. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” she suggested. “It’s about time for the entire school to appear out of nowhere.”

Historia nodded, swallowing. What on earth did Ymir want from her? Historia had to stop herself from having dirty thoughts. They weren’t even good friends yet. There was no way Ymir wanted to drag her off to do naughty things to her. Though a girl could hope. Historia’s cheeks blazed with red and warmth.

They went onto the rugby field, around a few trees where others wouldn’t see them. Ymir dropped her bag against one of the trees and then stretched, groaning and wincing. Her shirt lifted slightly, revealing a strip of slightly freckled, tan skin. Historia’s eyes zeroed in. Her heart hammered.

“So this might sound a little weird,” Ymir began, not knowing that Historia had just been ogling her.

“Mm?”

“I need to use you for my art project.”

Historia’s brain stopped working. She titled her head, brows furrowed. “Use me?”

Ymir blushed slightly. “Uh, you’re my muse.” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “Well, you were last term, and the teacher asked if I could use you again this term, because the themes are opposing. I agreed.”

Historia felt nearly breathless. Ymir had used her as a muse? She didn’t deserve this. Not at all. But she wanted it. “Of course!” she exclaimed. “Use me all you want!”

Ymir’s gaze darkened, as did her cheeks. She chuckled lightly and shook her head. “I swear I’m mature,” she mumbled to herself.

“So what do you need me to do?” Historia asked. Her hands were shaking badly.

“The theme is ‘light’,” Ymir explained. “So I want to see your light, Krista. That sounds fucking weird, I know.”

Historia frowned at the use of the name. Her earlier nerves came rushing back. Before she let the conversation go any further, she needed to let Ymir know. Ymir _had_ to know first, and if she didn’t tell her, Hitch would drag it out without Historia’s consent. So she took a breath and reached out to grab Ymir’s wrist. Ymir’s eyebrows shot skyward.

“My real name…” she started, licking her lips. Her pulse thrummed hard in her throat and she could feel a roaring in her ears. It was a little difficult to breathe, but she decided to push forward and ignore her sick anxiety. “It’s—”

Ymir’s thumb pressed against her lips, silencing her. “You don’t have to,” Ymir breathed. “Only when you’re ready.”

Historia stared into her eyes. They were serious, but they were so caring. She had wondered on it before, but now it was confirmed. Ymir cared. Ymir really, really cared. Even though she pretended that she didn’t, and put on a rough face, she actually genuinely cared. It made Historia smile. She gently took Ymir’s hand and pulled it away from her face, stepping forward. Ymir released a strangled noise when Historia suddenly pressed against her front, face buried in her shirt.

“I am ready,” Historia whispered. “And it’s because of you. So please…” she sucked in short, haggard breaths. “From now on…” Ymir’s hands rested on her shoulders, but didn’t push her away. Historia inhaled. Ymir’s scent washed over her, calming her. “Call me Historia.” It was out. She sagged with relief, and felt tears rush in. They didn’t fall, but they were there.

Ymir took a breath. “Okay,” she said. “Historia.” The name rolled smoothly over her tongue, sending pleasant chills down Historia’s back. She had been right to think that she would adore the way Ymir said her name. It was so unlike how her parents said it. With them, her name felt like a sentence, like a burden. With Ymir, it felt like freedom. “So, will you help me with my project?”

Historia pulled back, grinning. To her astonishment, she didn’t feel Krista at all. Krista was gone. She hadn’t returned since breaking up with Nanaba. Was this what it felt like to live for herself? To pull back the curtain and stand bare, but proud? It was a little frightening, but it was wonderful. Historia started laughing in joy.

“Yeah! Anything you need.”

Ymir suddenly pulled away and hurriedly searched her bag until she found her sketch pad and a pencil. “Like that!” she said. “That’s exactly what I need.” She dropped down with little grace and flipped over to a clean page. Historia tilted her head.

“Ymir?”

“Yes, Historia?”

A sharp, happy wave of warmth swept through her, filling her cheeks with red and her heart with joy at the sound of her name. She couldn’t stop the beaming smile as it lifted her lips. Ymir stared at her, wide eyed, and then she dipped her head and started sketching. Historia watched her for a long while, not entirely sure she knew what was going on. Eventually Ymir sighed and closed the book.

“Perfect,” she mumbled. She looked up and caught Historia’s gaze. “You’re perfect.”

She knew Ymir didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but it still sent her heart racing. She held a hand out to help Ymir up from the ground. “So what did I do, exactly?”

Ymir shrugged her bag up onto her shoulders. “You were you,” she explained. “And like that, you’re the lightest I’ve ever seen you. Can we go to Titan Falls together after school? I have a general idea for this project, but I need more time with you before it’s done.”

 _It’s just a project,_ Historia reminded herself. _Be still my heart._ “Um, yeah sure.”

Ymir looked away suddenly. “Unless you have stuff to do with Nanaba.”

Historia sighed. “We broke up.” It was much easier to say than she thought. Ymir’s eyes whipped around to meet hers. “Last night. I broke up with her. You told me to start speaking for myself, and I have.” She smiled brightly. “I’m being a little more assertive now.”

Ymir raised a brow. “Damn, girl. Don’t go setting people on fire now because I told you to act on your feelings.”

Historia laughed. “I just might if it’s Hitch.”

Ymir grinned. “Okay that I would pay to see.”

“Then you can call me FNB.

Ymir laughed loudly. “I didn’t know you actually had a sense of humour.”

Historia laughed with her. “Me neither, actually. With you I always seem to learn new things about myself.”

Ymir sent her a look, but her smile was soft. They didn’t say anything more as they headed towards the quad.

XxX

Krista—Historia—was smiling gently as they made their way across the field. Ymir couldn’t help but sneak a few looks. She hadn’t expected this. To learn her real name and to see who Historia actually was. She had none of that false cheerfulness that Krista had radiated. Ymir was a little excited to see how Historia interacted with her friends, since she had an idea that Historia didn’t like how they treated other people. Mina didn’t go out of her way to pick on people, but if it was someone she didn’t like, she made their life hell. Hitch, on the other hand, found sick joy in tormenting _everyone._ And Hitch was heading right for them.

They paused just at the edge of the quad. Ymir opened her mouth to say farewell so that she could hurry off and watch from a distance, but Historia’s hand curled around her wrist. Ymir could feel that she was trembling.

“Stay,” Historia breathed. “Please. I can’t do this alone.”

Ymir sucked in a harsh breath. Her heart fluttered. “You can,” she argued. “But I’ll stay if you need me to.” She wasn’t sure why she felt the need to do it. Protectiveness welled up deep inside of her, and it only intensified when Hitch neared and narrowed her eyes, first at where Historia clutched at her, then towards Historia’s face.

“Krista,” she started lowly. “Or whatever your name is.”

Historia winced slightly. She looked insanely nervous, but not ready to back down. There were no falsely secure smiles in place for Hitch. Historia stared at her openly. “Hitch,” she greeted. “Ymir needed my help with a project. I was going to find you right after.”

Hitch’s eyes flicked up and met Ymir’s. Ymir narrowed her eyes slightly, daring Hitch to take her on. For all of Hitch’s ferocity, she was also a coward. She looked away quickly.

“Okay, so what, you’re best friends with the freak now? Did you dump Nanaba for her? Because I just saw her, you know, and she’s really cut up. You really hurt her. And for what?”

Ymir lifted a brow at Hitch’s suggestive glance, but didn’t say anything. This wasn’t her fight. She just slipped her hand into Historia’s and gave it a gentle squeeze in encouragement. Historia took a breath.

“I...” She tightened her grip, face dropping in shame and guilt. The mention of Nanaba must have ripped out her bravery. “I agree, that Nanaba is better off without me. B-but I don’t appreciate you calling Ymir a freak, Hitch. That’s not nice.”

Hitch lifted a brow. “What actual the fuck? Not _nice_? So you’re taking _her_ side now?”

“For once, yeah,” Historia answered. It was barely above a whisper, but they heard it. Historia still wouldn’t look up. Ymir felt her stomach tighten with anger. “I…” She swallowed. “I want to tell you my real name.”

Hitch crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, get on with it, then.”

Historia finally lifted her face and Ymir recognized determination there. Historia stared right into Hitch’s eyes, gaze unflinching, but her grip on Ymir’s hand tightened. She was shaking badly.

“My name is Historia. I’m sorry that I lied to you.”

Hitch huffed. “This is so weird. Are you going to hang out with the freak now, _Historia?_ ”

Anger and traces of hurt flashed across Historia’s face. Maybe she had really been naïve enough to think that Hitch would actually care. Ymir wanted to say ‘I told you so’, but she could tell that Historia was overly emotional, and she didn’t want to make her feel worse. She didn’t understand why she felt that way, but she did.

“I-I won’t stand for that!” she exclaimed. “Stop insulting Ymir. She’s an amazing person. What you say—and what you did—to her, wasn’t and isn’t right.”

Hitch rolled her eyes, but her face was reddening. “Oh, right, so the prissy rich girl is going to lecture me now? Huh, _Historia?_ Who the fuck even spends their entire life telling people their fake name?”

“Prissy rich girl? Is that all you’ve ever seen me as?”

“Oh come on,” Hitch snarled. “You live in a fucking mansion. Your parents are disgustingly rich. And just recently you were banging the hottest girl in school. So excuse me for not seeing how sad and pathetic your life is.”

Ymir winced when Historia’s grip tightened even more. She was still shaking, but not with nerves, with anger. Historia’s face contorted in anger, to the point that the colour drained from Hitch’s face. She had never seen Historia angry. Krista had been kind and delicate and compassionate to everyone else’s feeling. Historia was not. And Historia was angry. Ymir felt odd, like the third wheel, forced to stand there and pretend that she wasn’t while two soon to be ex friends duelled it out. So she settled on watching Historia’s face.

“You’ve never seen _me,_ ” Historia growled. “You only ever saw what I showed you. I’m not a happy person. I go home and I think about dying. I go home and not even the house staff greet me. I look like my mother but we have absolutely nothing in common, and sometimes I think about the fact that I don’t even know her. My parents only care about me when I make them look a certain way. I only dated Nanaba because I was too weak to say no, and my parents insisted. So please, Hitch, stop lusting over my life like it’s some prize to be won. If I could give it to you, I would.”

Hitch’s eyes widened. Tears welled up in Historia’s eyes, but they only spurred her on. “Historia?” Hitch uttered.

“No. We’re done here. What you’ve said to me, to Ymir, was the last straw. If you’re not willing to treat other people with respect, then I don’t want to associate myself with you anymore. This friendship is over."

Hurt and panic flashed across Hitch’s face, and for a moment she seemed to fumble for words, but then she huffed and stormed off. The students around them began to whisper.

“I think I see Sasha,” Historia whispered tearfully. “Don’t you want to go to her? People are staring.”

Ymir stared at Historia’s face. It was still red with anger, but relief and sadness covered the rage, and when Historia ran a hand through her hair, Ymir wanted to kiss her.

 _Oh no,_ she thought, panicked. A warm, encompassing feeling coiled around Ymir’s chest and heart. _Tell me I didn’t._

Historia glanced up at her curiously. “Ymir?” Her blue eyes looked clearer and brighter than Ymir had ever seen them, even through the tears.

_Shit, I fell in love with her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 22:
> 
> Ymir deliberated for a long moment. Eventually she decided to take the first step into friendship, and dropped down in the empty seat beside Historia. She jumped in fright, a hand flying to her chest.
> 
> “Ymir!” she exclaimed. “You scared me.”
> 
> Ymir watched the light blush on her face. She wanted to feel how warm it was. God, this is bad. “I, uh, figured we could do the dance together.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the AMAZING dafestate on tumblr went and made fanart of Ymir and Nanaba for this fic! Check them out below (if the image links expire and the images disappear, lemme know.) Also go and follow/send nice asks to dafestate because they are amazing

 

 

Historia’s heartbeat thundered in her ears. She tried to breathe evenly, but her chest felt heavy. Mrs Reiss sat perfectly still in the driver’s seat. To Historia’s surprise earlier that morning, her mother had personally requested that she drive her to school. Now, sitting in the car just outside of school, Historia realized that her mother most likely wanted to lecture her about how she had spoken to her father. She wasn’t even aware that they actually spoke to each other. They seemed to be strangers as much to each other as they were to Historia. It never stopped to puzzle her how they all lived under the same roof, yet they were all just strangers sharing the same blood.

“Historia,” her mother began stiffly. She released her hold on the steering wheel. “Your father informed me of your attitude.”

There it was. Historia clasped her hands together and squeezed. “I don’t take back what I said.” It was incredibly brave of her. She knew the wrath of her mother, and it was something she had vowed to never experience ever again.

Mrs Reiss cleared her throat. “He was… distraught, Historia. What you said hurt him.”

Historia blinked and turned fully to face her mother. “He was hurt?” she asked quietly. “I didn’t know he cared.” The words were out before she could stop them. Mrs Reiss’s sharp gaze pierced right through her.

“Watch what you say,” she warned lowly. “We are still your parents.”

“I’m sorry.” She dipped her head. All bravado had fled.

Historia had woken that morning, blissfully unaware of her life and all its intricacies. She adored those moments when she would open her eyes and not remember a thing. But then everything crashed in, and the weight of it all would have toppled her over if she hadn’t already been in bed. She remained there for a long while, staring wide eyed at her ceiling. She thought about how she had disrespected her father, and berated herself for being so foolish. She had roughly nine months of school left, and then she could go out on her own and be free of her parents. If they decided to kick her out now? What if they sent her to a boarding school? She had been in tears, remembering what she had said to Hitch as well. There were no messages from Hitch or Mina, so she knew that they would most likely pretend that she didn’t exist.

She had no friends.

Even as shallow as it had been, the connection with her friends had been something she clung on to. Now they were gone. They saw how broken she truly was, and they felt no compulsion to stay by her side. It stung. It truly, honestly did. Historia had been choking her tears back when she remembered Ymir.

_Ymir._

It was enough to ground her, to remind her that she had promised herself to be honest. To live for herself. To be who she was. So with that in mind, she had climbed out of bed.

“You are unhappy?” Mrs Reiss asked suddenly, snapping Historia back into focus.

“Um…” She swallowed. “Yes?”

“I need a definite answer, Historia, not a question. Are you asking me? Must I read your mind?”

Historia rubbed the side of her face. This was the longest conversation she’d ever really had with her mother. It was odd. She was being… well, for her, pleasant. Historia didn’t know what to say or do. She was frightened of disappointing her mother, but she knew that she already had. Since the day she was born.

“I… I am unhappy, yes,” she answered.

Mrs Reiss’s brows connected. “Historia… Rod mentioned… he said that you told him you wished you were dead.” Her blue eyes pinned Historia down. There was concern there. “You are not… hurting yourself, are you?”

Historia heard the air rushing from her lungs. “ _Oh,_ ” she gasped in surprise, blinking. “Um, no. No I’m not doing anything like that.”

Mrs Reiss exhaled. “Good,” she sighed. “That is good. Your friend is waiting for you, so I will let you go. For now.”

Historia studied her mother’s face. It was as impassive as always. The traces of concern from earlier were gone. If anything, she looked a little uncomfortable. Historia’s chest fluttered with emotion. “Would you like to speak with me again, about this?” she asked. “Later?”

Mrs Reiss nodded slowly. Historia muttered a quiet goodbye, and then she watched the car speed down the street and around the corner. A shadow moved to her side, alerting her that someone had stepped up beside her.

“Good morning Ymir,” she greeted softly, eyes still trained towards the spot where the car had disappeared.

Ymir cleared her throat. “Uh, morning.”

Historia turned to her. She was grateful to feel that her smile was genuine, and it grew in size at the uncomfortable look on Ymir’s face. She was fidgeting and blushing. “What can I do for you?”

Ymir sighed.

XxX

“Could we hang out at Titan Falls again, after school today?” Ymir finally blurted. It wasn’t what she had been trying to say at all, but her nerves got the best of her.

Ymir was in love with Historia. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she had realized it the day before. She cared. She really fucking cared about Historia and that terrified her. Though every part of her wanted to transfer schools and never speak to Historia again, there was just something about her that drew Ymir in, that made Ymir want to stay and try. So she decided to at least aim for an actual friendship. But that left her at a disadvantage. Sasha had been easy. She had the type of personality that persisted until it grew on you. Ymir hadn’t put in the effort at all. Yet with Historia, she would need to. And she wanted to.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I have no where special to be.”

Ymir’s heart soared. She didn’t let it show on her face, and instead grunted in acknowledgement. Historia stared at her for a moment, eyebrow lifted, and Ymir realized that she was looming. She stepped back quickly. “Uh, see you later?” she hurried. Historia nodded. Sucking in harsh breaths, Ymir turned and headed toward the quad. Her heart was thundering and she hated that. She spotted Sasha staring up into one of the trees and felt her anxiety melt away to amusement.

“What’re you doing?” she asked cautiously when she made it to Sasha’s side.

“Shh. I’m thinking,” Sasha answered.

“I thought I smelt something burning,” Ymir joked. She laughed when an elbow sunk into her stomach, but she didn’t really feel it. “Seriously though, what are you doing?”

Sasha dropped her eyes and sighed. “I want to climb this tree,” she started. “But that would be weird.”

“Why the fuck do you want to climb a tree?”

Sasha shrugged. “I tend not to question things like this. So, did you hear about Krista? That she’s actually Historia?”

Ymir nodded. “I did.”

“I think it’s pretty cool. Are we going to let her join our group? I heard Hitch and Mina talking in last period yesterday… wasn’t nice at all.”

Ymir kicked at a stone. “I don’t know,” she said. “And I don’t care.”

“Of course not. So, Titan Falls after school?”

“I have something I’m doing. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Hot date?”

_I wish._ Ymir blushed harshly at the thought and then berated herself for it. Sasha watched her curiously. When she melted into a devious smirk, Ymir groaned internally.

“Holy shit, you really do have a date!”

“I do not,” Ymir hissed.

Sasha dove into her chest, laughing. “Who is it?” she asked. “Someone at school? Oh my god, is it Historia?” She waggled her brows, but Ymir’s amusement quickly drained away. She shoved Sasha aside and walked away, huffing.

“No, it’s not Historia. I’m not going on a fucking date, okay? It’s for my art project.”

Sasha hurried to catch up with her, pouting. “Meanie. That hurt.”

“Good. You’re being dumb.”

“If I’m being dumb, then why are you blushing so hard?”

Ymir waved her off, but Sasha persisted. She made kissing noises and poked Ymir in the side until they had to head into class. Ymir was grateful that Sasha had register with Mike, though she had a feeling that Sasha would be an extra pain in the ass during breaks.

Ymir entered class with her usual lack of grace and went to her seat at the back. Hanji was at her desk, reading through a paper with an expression of determination. She wondered what news Hanji had for them. Hanji was by far her favourite teacher. Ymir tried not to glance around the classroom, and failed. Her heart sank a little when she noted that Historia sat alone. Hitch and Mina had moved to the other side of the classroom.

“Alright, settle down,” Hanji started loudly, standing and clapping her hands together. “Today I have a new project for you guys.” The classroom groaned. “Stop your bitching, this isn’t so bad. We have assessed your recent Life Orientation marks, and unfortunately the grade average has dropped quite low. So, we came up with a great idea.” She slapped a stack of papers down on the closest table. “Hand those out, please,” she told the boy at the table. He stood and did as he was told. “So, for your final L.O project, you will be required to dance.”

Ymir pressed her forehead down on the table, sighing. Of course.

“You heard me!” Hanji continued. “A dance. It has be a minimum length of two minutes. Nothing crude and offensive. You may form a group with students from the other classes, since this will be performed on one day with the entire grade.” More defeated, upset groaning. “Stop moaning and read up on the instructions. You all have one month. Dazzle me.” She grinned, winked at them and then returned to her table.

Ymir slumped in her seat. She didn’t see the point of this. How in the hell was a dance supposed to help them after school? Life Orientation itself was a useless subject. The classroom erupted with loud talking as kids stood and gathered into groups. Ymir watched them all with disinterest, waiting for someone to approach her. No one did.

And neither for Historia.

Ymir deliberated for a long moment. Eventually she decided to take the first step into friendship, and dropped down in the empty seat beside Historia. She jumped in fright, a hand flying to her chest.

“Ymir!” she exclaimed. “You scared me.”

Ymir watched the light blush on her face. She wanted to feel how warm it was. _God, this is bad._ “I, uh, figured we could do the dance together.”

Historia blinked at her. “Seriously?”

Internally Ymir groaned. “Yeah. If you want.”

“Yes! That’s fine. I… actually have no friends anymore.” She grinned sardonically and swept her arm around herself. “At least I have all this free space.”

Ymir’s heart squeezed. “Sasha will probably want to join us,” she warned.

“That’s… Ymir, that’s fine with me. Thank you.”

Ymir felt herself grinning. She grabbed her sketch pad and pencil, and then settled in comfortably beside Historia, who had gone back to reading her novel. They didn’t need to work on the dance yet, so she could take the time working on her art, since Historia was right there anyway.

Despite the honesty from the day before, Historia still looked sad. Ymir resisted the urge to reach out and comfort her. She didn’t. Instead she sketched her. Sitting there with her lips pulled down and her eyes lidded, Historia was unbearably beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 23:
> 
> Historia pressed a hand to her mouth, looking amused, as Ymir left Sasha to join her side. Ymir heard a heavy intake of air and knew that Sasha wouldn’t let this go. “Holy shit, your date is Historia!” she shouted.
> 
> Ymir stopped walking and whirled around. “I said there is no date!” she roared. “Stop being such an idiot.” She could feel her face heat up and redden.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* guys we're catching up to where I stopped writing and it's stressing me out (so far I'm still busy with chapter 26)

Historia’s chest felt light and warm. Ymir had taken a seat next to her, much to her surprise, and then suggested that they work together. She tried to concentrate on her book— _Pharaoh_ by Wilbur Smith—but Ymir’s proximity scrambled her brain. She kept skipping lines and rereading sentences. Ymir was busy sketching, so of course she didn’t notice Historia’s plight. Good. It gave Historia the chance to sneak glances. She watched how Ymir’s long fingers clutched at the pencil, how her wrist flicked and turned. She noted the pink point of her tongue at the corner of her mouth, how Ymir squinted ever so slightly while she concentrated. So close like this, Historia could better study the freckles on her face. They were of all shapes and browns, and they covered the bridge of her nose and cheeks. Historia thought they were cute.

Ymir looked up suddenly, catching Historia just as she had been studying the line of her lips. She blushed furiously and looked away, but Ymir was still staring. Luckily the bell rang, and the class erupted into even louder chatter. Hanji yelled for them to make sure they started on their dance, and then Historia stood and packed her stuff away. She saw Mina and Hitch walk by, and her chest tightened painfully.

“See you after school,” Ymir told her quietly.

Historia smiled at her. “See you then.”

Ymir seemed to hesitate, then she shouldered her bag and walked out of the classroom. Historia waited until most of the students had left before she started for the door as well. Hanji’s voice stopped her.

“Historia, could I have a moment?”

She turned, momentarily seized by panic at the thought that she was in trouble. But it was only Hanji, and she reminded herself that it wasn’t her parents. Historia’s body relaxed. “Yes, Miss Hanji.” She stepped up to her desk expectantly.

Hanji removed her glasses from the bridge of her nose. When she glanced up at Historia, her eyes were serious but softened by concern. “I don’t mean to put you on the spot,” she started. “But I just wanted to ask how you’re doing. Rumours spread really quickly in this school. Are you alright?”

Historia smiled. “I’m fine, Miss Hanji. Thank you for your concern.”

“Are you sure?” Hanji studied her for a moment and then she sighed, nodding. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it. If you need an adult to talk to, I’m here, alright?”

Appreciation filled Historia, but she could only nod in response. Hanji told her to get on to her next subject before she was late so she turned and hurried out of class. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling even if she tried.

First, second and third period flew by rather quickly. In whatever class she shared with her former friends, they pointedly ignored her. It was only Annie—in third period—who didn’t act as if she was invisible.

“Good morning,” Historia nervously greeted her as she sat down.

“Morning, Historia,” Annie drawled tonelessly. She had her workbook open, and was busy filling in some answers she probably hadn’t done the day before. She didn’t look up, but her verbal response and the name made Historia grin widely.

“How’re you doing today?”

“Fine.”

“How’s Reiner?”

Annie sighed and dropped the pen to shove her hands into her pockets. She slid farther down into the seat. “About as fine as a mental breakdown.”

Historia swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“He had it coming. How are you holding up?”

“So you _do_ care,” she joked. Annie’s blue eyes speared through her. Historia laughed. “I’m fine, Annie. Thank you for caring.”

Annie grunted in acknowledgement, and then they fell into silence that Historia was fine with. She didn’t initiated more conversation and instead focused on working throughout the period. When the bell rang for first break, her heart leapt into her throat at the realization that she had no one to sit with. Annie was out of her seat in seconds, already slumped and walking out of the door. Historia threw her things into her bag and rushed to follow her.

“Could I hang out with you?” she asked in a huff.

Annie shrugged, so Historia followed her. They walked all the way to the other end of the school, where Annie dropped down by the nets where kids went to practise cricket, and pulled her earphones out of her pocket. She didn’t say a word and plugged them in.

Historia stared at her for a moment. Usually by now Hitch would have been filling her in on some gossip or drama, and Mina would be interjecting with a joke here and there, to which Hitch would roll her eyes or add on to it. Historia’s stomach sank. She missed them, even though she didn’t want to. She dropped down reluctantly and started working on homework. Since Annie had nothing to talk about and seemed content in her own world, Historia could use the time to stay ahead of her school work.

She just wished that the silence didn’t feel so uncomfortable.

XxX

Ymir desperately tried to think of an excuse to get away from Sasha before it was too late, but Sasha was like a fly. She hovered and buzzed and wouldn’t get a hint even when it smacked her right in the fact. On other days Ymir found it oddly endearing, but now she only found it incredibly irritating for the simple fact that Historia was waiting at the school gate for her and Sasha was still blabbering away.

“—so then I said—”

Ymir tuned her out, sighing in reluctant acceptance of what was to come. They stepped up to the gate and Historia joined them. Sasha shut her mouth really quickly, eyes wide.

“Hey,” Historia greeted softly. “How was class?”

Ymir nervously scratched her cheek. “Hey. Uh, it was fine.”

“We still good to, you know?” Historia’s eyes flicked to Sasha.

Ymir lifted a brow. “Yeah, sure.” She turned and lightly slapped the side of Sasha’s head. “Bye, _dumhuvud._ ”

Historia pressed a hand to her mouth, looking amused, as Ymir left Sasha to join her side. Ymir heard a heavy intake of air and knew that Sasha wouldn’t let this go. “Holy shit, your date _is_ Historia!” she shouted.

Ymir stopped walking and whirled around. “I said there is no date!” she roared. “Stop being such an idiot.” She could feel her face heat up and redden.

“Why’d you not mention Historia then, huh?” Sasha asked, arms crossed over her chest. She seemed oddly serious.

“May in interject?” Historia asked quietly. She had her hands out as if both Ymir and Sasha were frightened animals ready to flee.

“Go ahead,” Sasha told her, frowning.

“I think Ymir didn’t want you to feel left out,” she explained softly. “I’m not trying to steal your friend, I promise.”

Ymir’s brows lifted. _So that’s why she’s all upset. The idiot thinks I’m ditching her for Historia._ Of course Historia was observant enough to pick up on the problem before even Ymir did. “Dude, I said we’re friends, alright?” Ymir told her. “I don’t lie. And you know me, I don’t make friends. I asked Historia to help me out with my art project.”

Sasha’s frown lessened slightly. “So why didn’t you just tell me?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Because you irritate the fuck out of me.” A hand suddenly smacked into her stomach, sending the wind right out of her. She cried out in pain and doubled over, shocked to see Historia glaring down at her, expression fierce.

“That was rude,” Historia scolded. “Sasha only cares about you, and you insulted her. That’s really mean, Ymir.”

To add insult to her injury, Sasha draped an arm over Historia’s shoulder, nodding. “Yeah, you huge asscrack. I thought you were ditching me for real.”

Historia crossed her arms over her chest, clearly waiting for some kind of argument. And oh boy, did Ymir want to argue. Her temper wasn’t something she had reigned in quite yet, but it definitely wasn’t something she wanted to take out on Historia. She gingerly climbed back onto her feet, rubbing her sore stomach.

“Fine, sorry,” she grunted out. “But it’s just the truth.”

Sasha grinned. “Ymir, I really like her. Can we keep her?”

Now Ymir crossed her arms over her chest. “Having you is enough to deal with as is.”

“Keep me?” Historia questioned.

“You wanna hang out with us at school?”

Ymir opened her mouth to protest, but Sasha sent her a glare and shut it, sighing. She decided to turn around and start walking towards the mall. As expected the other two followed. Historia remained quiet for a while.

“Are you sure you’d want my company?” she asked timidly. Ymir turned sharply.

“If you want to, say so,” she commented roughly. Historia looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

“Okay. Yeah, I’d love to hang out with you guys. I don’t really have friends anymore and Annie is terrible company.”

Sasha beamed. “I have a feeling the rest of this year is gonna be perfect.” She kept an arm around Historia’s neck, babbling on about Connie and Mikasa and how happy she was that she had somehow managed to make friends. Historia seemed to listen intently, but Ymir could feel her gaze.

The walk to Titan Falls took a lot longer than usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for chapter 24:
> 
> “Actually…” Historia smiled Ymir’s way, sending her heart into maximum overdrive. “Ymir asked.”
> 
> Sasha whistled. “Wow. Ymir asked? I might need to make sure I’m not dreaming.” Ymir leaned over and flicked her nose. “Ouch!”
> 
> “See? Not a dream.”
> 
> “That was mean,” Sasha grumbled, rubbing the tip of her nose.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to start updating every second day again. Sorry for the wait guys. I need some time to write up more chapters. Enjoy reading!

Sasha and Historia discovered their mutual love for movies, and basically forgot that Ymir existed as they delved into deep, meaningless chatter that Ymir tuned out. She sipped lazily on her milkshake and flipped through her Life Sciences text book to get some of that work done. In between she moved over to sketch something, since she still kept a keen eye on Historia’s face.

God, she was beautiful.

Ymir discovered that Historia bit down on her bottom lip when she had a thought she wanted to share. She also brushed her hair aside a lot, and when she blushed, her eyes dropped low. Her voice went a little higher in her excitement, and she gestured with her hands. They were playing a game—at least Ymir guessed so—where one would give a movie quote and the other had to guess the movie. Historia was laughing after successfully guessing Mean Girls, and Ymir shoved her textbook aside to grab her sketch and draw the lines of Historia’s smile. It made her heart flutter.

“Okay, your turn,” Sasha told her.

“Right.” Historia sat for a moment, teeth at her lip. She straightened and grinned. “Not everyone can become a great artist. But a great artist can come from anywhere.”

Sasha squinted. “Hmmm. That’s a tough one.” She glanced off to the side, contemplating. “No fair.”

“Your terms,” Historia reminded, grinning. She pressed her cheek into her palm, a brow lifted in waiting.

Ymir was compelled with the desire to draw that pose, so she did. When she finally completed the curve of Historia’s delicate wrist, Sasha seemed to finally decide on something.

“Ratatouille!” she exclaimed.

Historia’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, yeah. Well done!”

Sasha’s grin deepened. “I’ve seen that movie more times than I can count. A rat that can cook? Count me in. Took a second to remember that quote though.”

Ymir snorted. “More like five years,” she commented. Both Sasha and Historia started at her voice, making Ymir lift a brow and place her pencil down. She frowned at them. “Really? I have been sitting here the entire time. How the shit did I scare you guys?”

“Don’t underestimate movie lovers, Ymir,” Sasha warned. She held her palm out and grinned wider when Historia high fived her. “Right?”

“She’s right,” Historia agreed. “And it looks like you got some work done.” Her eyes flicked lower

Ymir shut her sketch pad quickly, flushing. She cleared her throat and ignored the knowing look Sasha sent her. “Well, yeah. For once Sasha didn’t bother me. We should probably get ready to leave soon. We’ve been here a while.”

Sasha sighed. “Yeah. Oh, wait! We haven’t spoken about our dance yet.”

Historia perked. “Oh yeah, Ymir said you’d join us.”

“Well duh. Wait, ‘us’? You want to dance with us?”

“Actually…” Historia smiled Ymir’s way, sending her heart into maximum overdrive. “Ymir asked.”

Sasha whistled. “Wow. _Ymir_ asked? I might need to make sure I’m not dreaming.” Ymir leaned over and flicked her nose. “Ouch!”

“See? Not a dream.”

“That was mean,” Sasha grumbled, rubbing the tip of her nose.

“Do we have any plans?” Historia asked curiously. “I haven’t really danced before, but I can certainly try. My tiny body doesn’t allow for much flexibility.”

Sasha waggled her brows suggestively. “I bet Ymir is all kinds of flexible with those long limbs, right?”

Ymir packed her books away. “Have you ever seen a really long tree during harsh winds?” They nodded. “Branches flailing about? Yeah. That’s me. More like a safety hazard than impressively flexible. But I can try.”

Sasha chuckled. “Man, I’d love to see you twerking it to Anaconda.”

“Nicki Minaj?” Historia asked.

“Yeah!” Sasha exclaimed. “You like her?”

Historia’s face brightened. “Like? I love her. I went to see her live last year with Nanaba. It was truly amazing. I felt humbled just being in the same room as her.”

Sasha laughed. “Man, I would not have expected you to see Nicki live.”

Historia shrugged. “I kept it secret for that reason. Do you have any favourite song?”

“It’s definitely Anaconda for its catchy tune and shocking video. I showed it to my grandma and she nearly collapsed. It was hilarious. Yours?”

Historia smirked playfully. “Get On Your Knees.”

Ymir watched them intently. Their back and forth was quite amusing, and it was easy to enjoy when they didn’t pull her into the conversation. Historia seemed to feel her gaze, though, because she turned and smiled.

“And you, Ymir? Do you have any particular Nicki Minaj song that you enjoy?”

Ymir rubbed her hands together. “Buy a Heart,” she answered lamely. “I like the seriousness to it.”

Historia stared at her silently for a long moment. Ymir stared back, but lost her nerve and pulled her phone out. She flicked through all her apps, pretending to be doing something with purpose just to escape that consuming gaze.

“You guys should sleep over by my house this weekend,” Sasha spoke suddenly. “We have a studio that we can use, and I think it would help to have an entire weekend to just choreograph, you know?”

Ymir’s heart sped up at the idea. Her and Historia sleeping in the same room? She saw flashes of Historia’s bra, from when Reiner had beaten them both, and felt her face grow hotter.

“I’ll have to ask my mother first,” Historia answered. Her shoulders drooped. “And things with her are a little weird right now.”

Sasha shrugged. “Let me know. And you?”

Ymir sighed. “Ilse shouldn’t have a problem with it.”

Sasha threw her hands up. “Yas! I’ll make a group chat right now and you guys can just let me know on there. Where’s our waitress? I need an ice-cream.” She turned and gestured for help.

Ymir and Historia shared a nervous glance. Ymir was itching to sketch again, but she resisted it. Moments later she received a notification that she was added to a group chat titled ‘ _Twerkin It for Marks’_ , and shook her head. Historia laughed at her phone.

XxX

Historia’s lungs screamed for air, but she held on just a little longer, not ready to resurface into the moist air. Warm water moved gently around her body, making her imagine that the soft sensation was Ymir’s fingertips dragging along her skin. Face burning, Historia finally sat up in the huge tub and sucked in deep, even breaths. Steam twirled up into the expansive room increasing the already consuming hot fog. Historia liked it that way. She couldn’t stare into the empty corners of the room, and could convince herself that she wasn’t as alone as she felt in such a large room.

It was nearing 8PM. Her mother would arrive home soon, and since Gerard had informed her that he would only serve dinner when Mrs Reiss was present, Historia knew that they were eating together. Her stomach fluttered hard at the thought, but there was a strange excitement there too. She felt acknowledged by her mother for possibly the first time in her life. As promised, they would talk more. Historia just hoped that her mother wouldn’t dash the tiny bit of hope that she had.

Historia remained in the water for another ten minutes before finally pulling the plug and stepping out. Her towel was huge and fluffy, but it did its job perfectly and before long Historia was tying her damp hair up and stepping into the dining room. To her surprise, Mrs Reiss was seated stiffly at the head of the table. She went to take the opposite seat when her mother’s voice stopped her.

“At my side, Historia,” she requested softly.

Historia swallowed and obeyed. “Good evening, mother,” she greeted nervously. “How was your day?”

Mrs Reiss cleared her throat. “Productive,” she answered. There was a long stretch of silence, and then Mrs Reiss bit down on her lip. “And yours?”

Historia’s stomach fluttered. “My day was fine. I went to Titan Falls with some friends. We have a dance together. Which reminds me… can I go to Sasha’s house this weekend? We need to start on the dance and she says she has a studio, so…” she trailed off, realizing with horror that she was babbling in her nervousness.

“Sasha?”

“Uh, Sasha Braus Her family owns the farm just outside of town.”

Mrs Reiss nodded. “Friday to Sunday?”

“I think so.”

A moment. “I see no issues then. Have your driver assist you if I am working.”

Historia’s eyes widened. She had already drafted up an apology message to Sasha, sure that her mother would disapprove of her going to a farm. But Mrs Reiss was acting strange. She sat stiffly and she looked uncomfortable, but she kept biting her lip and fidgeting and she looked more unsettled than Historia had ever seen her. It sent a strange tingle through her heart.

Gerard entered the room silently and placed their dishes down, rattling off the meal title and ingredients. Even Mrs Reiss seemed to tune him out. They ate quietly and slowly, Historia shooting curious looks at her mother and Mrs Reiss glancing up at the door as if she wanted Mr Reiss to enter, or to get up and run off. Eventually, after more than half of her food was consumed, Historia set her utensils aside and cleared her throat.

“Are you okay, mother?”

Mrs Reiss startled lightly. “Yes, Historia.”

“You just look very uncomfortable. We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to.”

She nodded. “I have a sense that we need to, Historia.”

Historia pushed her plate away and took a sip from her water. “Okay.”

“Historia…” Mrs Reiss sighed and set her elbows on the table. She finally glanced Historia’s way, and it was honestly frightening. She stared for a long while, maybe waiting for Historia to speak, maybe not. Her eyes were piercing, but they were—oddly—not cold. There was emotion there, the likes of which Historia had never seen. “We make you unhappy, don’t we?” It was said quietly and with feeling, and Historia pressed a hand to her chest.

“If I said yes?”

Mrs Reiss shifted. “Then I would demand to know how.”

This was astounding. “May I speak my mind?”

“Go ahead.”

She took a very deep breath and straightened in her seat. Before she started, she pictured Ymir standing at her side. She imagined Ymir giving her a pat on the shoulder and telling her she could do it, and then she began to speak.

“Ever since I can remember, I’ve felt invisible.” She looked away from her mother’s intent gaze. “I was always pushed aside. You and father never raised me, our house staff did. You both don’t even know me. What’s my favourite colour?” She turned back, imploring.

Mrs Reiss stared for a long moment. Eventually she sighed and pushed her plate away as well. Gerard must have been hovering, because he hurried over and carried their plates away and brought desert soon after. Neither spoke, even after Gerard had long since left. The smell of chocolate cake made Historia’s stomach churn, so she pushed it aside.

“I am not quite sure how to respond to that,” Mrs Reiss finally said. “It never occurred to us that you were truly unhappy to the point that you didn’t want to live.”

Historia furrowed her brows. “I started telling people to call me Krista,” she stated. “For years. Even the teachers. Because I hated my real name. The way you and father say my name it… it makes me feel so, so small. How can you look back and not see every tear I shed because of how alone I felt? How broken I’ve been for so long?”

Mrs Reiss shifted. “I was never supposed to have a child,” she said strongly. She glanced away. “I was told in my young adulthood that I would not be able to carry. When I met your father, he wasn’t interested either. We were both more concerned with our careers. We were both perfectly suited to each other. You have noticed, Historia, that we aren’t like most people.”

Historia tried to breathe evenly. She was wide eyed, heart thrumming hard. She had never heard her mother speak about her past like this, and it was fascinating. “Not like most?”

“We do not… how can I say this? We don’t feel emotion the way you do.”

Historia tilted her head. “I don’t follow.”

“You might call us sociopaths, Historia.”

Historia both wanted to cry out in surprise and laugh. Instead she looked away and bit down on her lip. “Well, you said it, not me.”

Mrs Reiss chuckled. “We are utterly terrible parents,” she admitted. “When we discovered I was pregnant with you, we were dumbfounded. But your father convinced me that we had the money to deal with it. Thus we gave you this house, all the toys that you desired, the latest clothing and technology. But it wasn’t enough. You wanted more from me than I could give. It irritated me. Yes, I have been harsh. I have shoved you aside when most likely you needed my guidance. Even though I don’t feel remorseful as I should, I am sorry, Historia.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. I never expected this.”

“Rod and I considered you more of a… well, an accomplished project. You were something we created together, and that was it. When you told Rod how you really feel, he was genuinely distraught. We assumed you would be like us. Or perhaps a slither of you would be like us.”

Historia nodded. “I think I learnt to manipulate people like you, if that makes you feel better.”

Mrs Reiss lifted a brow, but her lips twitched. “Historia, that’s not nice.”

“No, really. For years I’ve had this mask on because I’ve always felt empty inside. It’s only since Ymir—” she cut herself off quickly, panicked.

“Ymir?” Mrs Reiss tapped her perfectly manicured fingers against her wine glass. “Are you referring to that foreign child from your primary days?” Historia nodded. “Huh, I thought I recognized her. She is quite… tall.”

Historia felt herself grinning. “She’s more than just tall, mother. She saw right through me, and she’s made me want to be true to myself. That’s why I stood up to father. For so long I’ve hated both of you.”

“Historia…”

“I guess I just never considered that maybe you had your own feelings on the matter. I’m sorry.”

“No, Historia. We are sorry. For all the neglect, we are lucky you turned out as well as you did. We do act harshly, but we are proud of you.”

Historia felt her tears well up. “You really mean that?”

“I do.” Mrs Reiss smiled then, hesitantly but genuinely.

“Can I hug you?” Historia asked tearfully. Mrs Reiss went rigid, but she nodded. It reminded Historia of Ymir, which led to her laughing until she was quietly sobbing against her mother’s chest. Mrs Reiss gently patted her shoulder and she was still rigid, but the embrace was warm and Historia had never felt happier.

Her mother smelt like expensive perfume. Somehow, it put Historia at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been in so much pain today, so I've been reading manga and watching anime (also obsessively playing Neverwinter again). Anyone watching Taboo Tattoo? It's pretty interesting
> 
> Preview of chapter 25:
> 
> Mikasa lifted a brow at Ymir and Connie seemed taken aback. “Wait, what? Why?”
> 
> Ymir flushed. “Nothing.”
> 
> Sasha smirked. “Oh, it’s not nothing.”
> 
> “Sasha,” Mikasa warned softly.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might have forgotten to update yesterday because I was watching Bungou Stray Dogs and getting waaaay too into it. *whispers* Higuchi is my new waifu. Enjoy the chapter guys! (P.S I finished writing up chapter 27 yesterday, so I'm mildly panicking lol)

_Ymir felt sticky and lethargic, and she could hear Ilse talking hurriedly on the phone. She didn’t sound happy. Guilt, thick and molten, filled Ymir’s gut. She curled up even tighter on the couch, pulling Ilse’s big jacket over her tiny form to hide the blush of shame on her cheeks._

_“Look, I understand it’s the middle of the year,” Ilse went on, talking rapid fire English that Ymir could follow if she really concentrated. “Yes. I understand that, sir. Is there no way you can fit one more student in? She’s tiny!” There was a pause. “Yes, thank you. I’ll wait for your call. Again, I apologize for calling so late into the evening. Alright. Goodnight.” She sighed._

_Ymir hesitantly uncovered her head. Ilse was at the dining room table, staring down at her phone with a deep frown. Ymir hated the expression, so she slipped out from beneath the warm jacket, slipped her glasses back on and padded quietly over to Ilse. Gently, she took her hand._

_“Ymir?” Ilse blinked down at her and immediately dropped to her knees. “Did I wake you?”_

_Ymir shook her head. “I did not sleep,” she responded softly in English. They spoke it often so that Ymir could work on her accent and better her pronunciation._

_“Oh, Ymir.” Ilse tugged her into a hug. “What do you need?” she asked softly. “Do you want to watch a movie? Have some hot chocolate? Or would you like a bubble bath?”_

_Ymir rubbed at her chest, where it still gave a dull, aching throb. Her lower lip trembled with the threat of tears. Ymir didn’t realize that she had started crying again, but Ilse swiped a thumb across her cheek, catching a tear in its descent. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, ashamed of her weakness._

_“Never apologize for hurting,” Ilse responded strongly. “Those horrible kids hurt you, Ymir. You are not wrong here. Do you understand me? They did not deserve you.”_

_Ymir nodded and shoved her glasses aside to rub at her red, tired eyes. It was the third day after Krista had told her to get lost, and Ilse had refused to let her return to school. Ymir was more relieved than she wanted to admit. She couldn’t handle the thought of seeing Krista again. Ilse was trying to enrol her into a new school, but most turned them away because they claimed they were full. Ymir still felt terrible for being such a burden, but she also felt love and affection for her big sister. She tugged gently at her hand again._

_“Bath together?” she requested. “Then movie?”_

_Ilse smiled, running her fingers through Ymir’s hair. “Yeah, you need a wash, rugrat.”_

_Ymir found herself smiling. “Meanie.”_

_“It’s not mean if it’s the truth.” Ilse chuckled and took her hand, leading her towards the bathroom. While she drew the bath and prepared their clothing, Ymir watched her intently. She adored her sister. One day, she promised, she would be just as amazing as Ilse. She would be there for Ilse and do anything her big sister asked of her. And maybe she could be as tall as her, too. Or taller. Yeah, Ymir definitely wanted to be taller._

_“Ilse?” she asked softly._

_Ilse turned to her, knelt over to feel the temperature of the water. “Mm?”_

_“I love you.”_

_Ilse reached out and pulled her into a hug. Ymir didn’t cry again, but she wanted to. Even if the whole world hated her, she at least had Ilse. And that was all that matter. “I love you too, kiddo. More than anything. Always remember that. I’m on your side before anyone else.”_

_Ymir believed her with every inch of her heart. As they undressed, giggling and poking each other, Ymir felt the ache in her heart melt away. It was still there, but softer, and she decided to never let it hurt her again. While Ilse washed her hair and back and told her funny stories about her work, Ymir decided to never let anyone ever hurt her again. Because she knew that if she hurt, Ilse hurt, and that was the last thing she wanted to do._

_Ilse fell asleep first as they watched the movie underneath a huge, fluffy blanket. Ymir was snuggled up against her chest, so she switched the TV off and then pulled the blanket up to their chins. She burrowed in further, soothed by the warmth from Ilse._

I won’t ever love someone again _, she decided._ Because people are horrible, and they’ll only ever hurt me.

_Ymir’s resolve strengthened and she closed her heart._

XxX

Ymir woke with a start when her alarm blared to life. She felt confused and disorientated for a moment, but gathered enough wits to eventually switch the alarm off. She flopped back into bed, sighing and staring blearily up at the ceiling.

It was Friday morning. School was out due to sports, and Sasha had insisted that they all gather at her home. Of course Ilse had approved after a little interrogation and a phone call with Sasha’s parents—who were about as nuts as their daughter. Ymir absently rubbed at her lower belly until she had the strength to slip her glasses on and head out to the kitchen.

Ilse was at the table, drinking some coffee and reading over the newspaper. She lifted her mug in greeting when Ymir lumbered into the room.

“Morning,” Ymir mumbled groggily. She flicked the kettle on and assembled a mug of coffee before dropping down into a seat and pressing her face into the table.

“Sleep well?” Ilse asked, turning a page.

“Not sure. Feel tired.”

“Still want to go to Sasha’s?”

It was tempting to say no. Ymir was glad for Sasha’s eagerness, though. It meant they would probably get the hardest part of their dance done by the end of the weekend. They could always practise during breaks or free periods at school. The choreography was the hard part. Ymir wasn’t a dancer. She didn’t even twerk alone in her room on good days. She wasn’t quite sure how they would manage this, but Sasha was excited, and she decided to place a little trust in her.

“Yeah. We need to get this dance sorted. Might as well take advantage of Sasha while I can.”

Ilse hummed softly as the kettle finished boiling. “Well, get ready and pack. I want to leave in the next half an hour.”

Ymir grumbled a response. She poured some cereal and ate it slowly in between glorious sips of coffee. After ten minutes the caffeine kicked in and she hurried through a quick shower and packing. Ilse met her at the door, and the two climbed into her car.

“It’s so early,” Ymir groaned, face mashed up against the window. “I hate Sasha.”

Ilse shook her head. “It’s me, not Sasha.”

Since Ilse worked so early, Ymir had no other lift to Sasha’s farm. So it was either arrive super early or super late, and Ymir had a feeling that she couldn’t trust Sasha alone with Historia. They would never get actual work done. “It’s fine, I understand.” She straightened up and tried to look as awake as possible. She failed.

Ilse eyed her. “No contacts today?”

Ymir shrugged. “Will put them in later. Too tired to really care now.”

Ilse seemed oddly pleased by that, and the rest of the ride went by in silence. The Braus farm was fairly easy to find thanks to its huge, obnoxious sign, but the dirt road up to the house was bumpy and unpleasant. Ymir made sure to complain the entire ride, so much so that Ilse seemed relieved when Ymir hopped out of the car with her bags.

“Call me if you need me, alright?” Ilse told her. “Anything at all. I’ll drop everything.”

Ymir smiled softly at her. “Geez, you sound like my mother.”

Ilse lifted her brow. “Don’t use that tone with me, young lady.”

They stared for a moment, and then broke into amused chuckles. “Just be safe, okay?”

Ymir nodded. “I’ll make sure to. Don’t get too lonely without me.”

Ilse waggled her brows. “I have the house all to myself. I wonder what mischief I can get into on my own.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “No swinging on the chandeliers or making dinner naked.”

Ilse pouted. She laughed around a farewell, and Ymir watched the car leave. She heard the crunching of gravel and turned to see Sasha standing close by, watching her with a huge grin.

“Hey,” Ymir greeted awkwardly.

“Well, hello there, dear,” Sasha greeted. “Welcome to the Braus estate.”

Ymir lifted a brow. Somewhere to her right she spotted a horse taking a shit, and pulled a face. “Yeah, sure.”

“Come on. You can drop your bag off in the guest room.”

The house was larger than Ymir expected, and insanely well taken care of. There were many people working outside in the fields and tending to the animals. Oddly, the inside of Sasha’s house was quite modern. Sasha led her upstairs to the second floor and then down a long, spacious hallway. She pushed one of the doors open and gestured inside.

“Your humble abode for the next two nights.”

Ymir stepped inside, noting the single bed pressed up against the corner of the room. It was big enough that she could probably host a party in there if she wanted to. She dropped her bag down on the bed, eyes taking in the light colours and modern finishing.

“Your place is…” she started.

“Not a dump?” Sasha finished for her. Like this, in her own home, Sasha’s accent was entirely different. She was using it more often at school, but Ymir noted the times when she cleaned her accent either due to habit or nerves. Now there was none of that. She spoke freely, which eased Ymir’s nerves quite a bit. And apparently made Ymir relaxed enough to let her accent out a little more, too.

“Basically,” she agreed. “Didn’t expect you to live in luxury.”

“My dad runs the farm,” she explained. “And my mom’s a lawyer. But the kids at school don’t really know that. They hear I live on a farm and they think I’m a savage. Are you hungry?”

Ymir shook her head. “Ate before I got here.”

“Okay, me too. I like the way you speak. And your glasses are pretty cute.”

Ymir blinked. “Uh, thanks.”

“If I wasn’t already taken, I’d be swooning.” Sasha grinned broadly. “Anyway, Historia isn’t here yet. She said she’d be here around the same time as you.”

Ymir suddenly felt awkward. “Do you have an idea what we’re going to do for the dance?”

Sasha grinned wider. “Oh yes. Follow me.”

They left the guest room and went back down to the ground floor, passing by two little girls arguing in the lounge and a slightly older boy laughing at them. Sasha told them all to stop being so loud, to which they all stuck their tongues out.

“Siblings,” Sasha commented, rolling her eyes.

“So you really do have a truckload,” Ymir joked.

“Well, yeah. The three in the lounge are the youngest. I have two more younger sisters, and then one older brother and sister.”

Ymir whistled. “Wow. My family is only Ilse and myself.”

They passed by a huge bathroom and turned into an open foyer at the end of the hallway. Across from that there were double doors, and when Sasha opened one Ymir’s eyes widened.

“Welcome to my studio,” Sasha announced.

“You weren’t joking,” Ymir breathed.

The floor was smooth wood, and the entire room could probably fit thirty people. Floor to ceiling mirrors adorned the left side of the room, while the right side held a huge screen with expensive looking speakers. Ymir was impressed.

“I get a little moist showing this room to people,” Sasha commented softly. “We aren’t rich. As I said, I have a huge family. It takes a lot to feed eight kids. My dad is friends with the Hoover family, though, so they helped us build this room for cheaper.”

“You dance?”

“Yes she dances.” The voice came from Ymir’s right, and she turned in surprise to see Mikasa leaning against the wall. Connie was on the floor, snoring softly.

“I hope you don’t mind that I invited them over,” Sasha explained. “But they dance with me, so I figured they could help us out. I already have a few dance moves that Mikasa and I worked out before you got here.”

Ymir was liking this a lot more than she thought she would. “Wait, you actually seriously dance?”

“There’s a dance studio in town that we go to. Half the town goes there. But the instructor is great. I got Mikasa and Connie to go with me. They love it because it really keeps you in shape.”

Mikasa flexed. “Dancing helps to keep in me shape for rugby.”

Sasha sent her a leering grin. “And other things.”

Ymir sighed. “Gross. Give your girlfriend sex eyes later.”

“Ymir,” Mikasa spoke up. “Can you dance?”

Ymir flushed. “Uh, not really.”

“Have you ever danced before?”

Ymir scratched her cheek. “No.”

Connie snorted harshly, startling himself so much that he shot up onto his knees, eye wide. “What?!” he shouted. There was drool on his chin. Mikasa rolled her eyes and flicked his ear.

“Wake up, Con’. We need to teach Ymir the basics of dancing.”

Connie rocked onto his heels and stood, wiping a hand over his face. “This is way too early for me.”

“How do you get up super early every morning and still get so tired?” Sasha asked him.

Connie shrugged. “I find a way. So, Ymir a lost cause? Have we watched her dance yet?”

Sasha shut the door behind them and skipped over to the stereo. “Let’s show her how we dance first,” she said, gesturing for Mikasa and Connie to step to the middle of the room. “Then we can start explaining some dance stuff before Historia gets here.” She met Ymir’s eyes. “You don’t want to look lame in front of her, right?”

Mikasa lifted a brow at Ymir and Connie seemed taken aback. “Wait, what? Why?”

Ymir flushed. “Nothing.”

Sasha smirked. “Oh, it’s not nothing.”

“Sasha,” Mikasa warned softly.

Connie looked solemn. “No shit, seriously? Do I have any chance at all?”

Ymir wanted the floor to swallow her whole. Her chest felt all warm just from the mention of Historia, and the worst part was that Sasha was right. She didn’t want to look super lame in front of Historia. She wanted Historia to walk into the room and see her dancing like a pro. It was a ridiculous desire, and the intensity of it struck Ymir dumb, but it was there.

“We can tease Ymir later,” Sasha interjected when Connie seemed ready to ask more questions. “Let’s do a little show for Ymir.”

Connie’s sadness melted away to something smug. He nodded his head and then spread his feet, as did Mikasa. Sasha hit play and hurried to the centre.

 _Ghost Town_ by Adam Lambert started filtering in through the speakers. The volume was probably on max, but the song started out slow and soft. They started by lifting their heads, gently swaying their hips, and then the bass kicked in hard and they were a blur of moving limbs. Ymir pressed her back against the cool wall and stared, open mouthed, as the three of them dropped low, shaking their hips, and then glided effortlessly across the floor. They were fluid and in sync, and Ymir realized that this would be a lot harder than she thought it would be.

Sasha paused in the middle, Mikasa and Connie circling her with quick footed moves and swaying arms. When the beat hit again, they sprang apart and fell into step with each other. Ymir was a little mesmerized by how Mikasa moved her hips, how Connie arched his back and Sasha moved her torso. They were a machine. When the song ended, Ymir was a little breathless. Sasha switched the song off, panting, and sprung up onto Mikasa’s back. She whispered something into Mikasa’s ear, and Mikasa walked them over to where Ymir stood.

“Impressed?” Sasha asked through harsh pants. Connie joined them, drinking greedily from a bottle.

“Yeah, wanna sexually devour us yet?” he asked, wiggling his brows.

“Yes,” Ymir breathed. She went red when three sets of eyebrows lifted. “I mean, fuck. That was amazing. How the shit do you move so quickly? You were all so… and then you… and you…” she shook her head. “I’m a little scared now.”

“And intimidated,” Sasha added casually. She pressed her cheek up against Mikasa’s and released a breath. “I’m tired.”

“That was a simple dance,” Mikasa told her evenly.

“We were on fire, baby,” Sasha drawled. “And fire takes a lot of energy. Let’s quickly show Ymir what we have in mind.”

“I’m sitting this out,” Connie commented. He dropped down onto the ground. “It’s too early for this.”

Mikasa reached out and grabbed Ymir’s wrist, pulling her over to the middle of the floor. Sasha hopped down from her back.

“Alright, to dance you need to relax. We’re going to show you some moves, and then you can try to copy us, alright? I want to see how you move.”

Ymir grinned. “That’s what she said.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “That’s literally what she just said.”

Both Ymir and Sasha snickered, and Connie hollered at them to start stripping. Mikasa sent him a glare, but he only burst out laughing. Sasha pulled a small remote from her pocket and then hit play.

 _Into You_ by Ariana Grande started playing. Ymir flushed.

“Really?” she asked.

“Just shut up and feel the beat,” Sasha instructed her. “And watch.”

She stood beside Mikasa and restarted the song. At the first hint of bass, they took a step forward, and then they danced for the first thirty seconds, bodies gliding and swaying with simple moves. When Sasha paused the song, she sent Ymir a questioning glance.

“So?”

“There is no way I can do that.”

“Just try it.”

“I will probably trip myself.”

Sasha stepped in behind her, hands on Ymir’s hips. “Start slow, without the song. Let me help you.” Ymir nodded, so Sasha started humming the song. Ymir stepped forward as the others had, and then Sasha guided her into swaying her hips. “Yes, just like that. Okay, now throw your arm out like we did. Yeah! Slide to the left slowly. There we go!” It took a good few tries before Ymir could get through the first bit, and then Sasha nodded in satisfaction. “Alright. Try it on your own with the music.”

Ymir nodded. She had a general idea of how the first part of the dance would go, and so her confidence was leaking back in. Her heart leapt a little when Sasha lifted the remote, but then the music filled her ears and she closed her eyes to concentrate. She let herself get carried away, forced her limbs to loosen as she stepped and twisted and moved her hips. She was getting super into it until the first bit was over, and then she paused and opened her eyes, panting and flushed.

“So?”

Sasha took a breath. They were all staring wide eyed. “You swear you’ve never danced before?”

Ymir shook her head. “No. I’m a quick study though.”

Mikasa took a step towards her, face thoughtful. “Did you do self-defence?”

Ymir nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“You’re not as stiff as I thought you’d be. Do you still do it?”

“Nah. Ilse forced me to take self-defence classes because I kept getting into serious fights. I stopped last year.”

Mikasa nodded. “You’re lucky. You’ve got rhythm. Your footing needs a little work, but Sasha is a good teacher.”

Ymir hated how pleased she felt at the praise. Connie suddenly appeared in front of her. “Teach me how to kick ass?” he asked, eyes wide and sparkling.

Ymir shoved him away. “I could kick your ass instead.”

“Yeah, show me!”

“No fighting! This is a dance studio!” Sasha yelled. Connie pouted.

“Let’s all do the dance together,” Mikasa suggested.

Sasha opened her mouth to respond, but she went still and titled her head to the side. “Ah, doorbell rang. Must be Historia.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. “How in the shit did you hear that?”

Both Mikasa and Connie shrugged as Sasha hurried out of the room. “Maybe all that eating gifted her with super hearing,” Connie suggested.

“It certainly gives her energy,” Mikasa added. She turned to Ymir. “Want to practise some more before Sasha gets back?”

Ymir felt more awake than ever. Excited, she nodded and waited for Mikasa to play the song again. The bass rumbled underneath her feet. Ymir discovered that she loved it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 26:
> 
> “Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Must be stupid if you think that we can start again.”
> 
> Historia paused in the doorway so abruptly that Sasha slammed into her back, and she stumbled forward on unsteady feet. Her eyes flew wide, just as Ymir’s did, and she managed to get a good, long eyeful of bronze abs before her shoes caught on nothing and she toppled over onto the floor. She barely felt the fall, but her face burnt with embarrassment as she stared up at the ceiling, and then it got worse when Ymir suddenly hovered over her.
> 
> “’Cause I’m hurting, baby.”
> 
> The music stopped abruptly and Ymir was reaching down, her glasses slipping down the slope of her nose. The first thing Historia had noticed was Ymir’s bared stomach—for some reason she had been lifting her shirt mid-dance move. That had been Historia’s literal downfall.
> 
> “We really need to stop meeting like this,” Ymir commented dryly, but there was an unsure grin on her lips.


	26. Chapter 26

“Father?” Historia swallowed her panic down, desperately trying to cling onto the good mood she had woken with. There her father sat in the grey Ferrari, staring at her with a gaze that was as blue and clear as the ocean, but filled with impatience.

“Get in, Historia,” he told her evenly. “I do not have all day.”

Historia’s brows furrowed. “B-but, where are you taking me?”

Mr Reiss sighed. “To your friend, yes? Your mother provided the address to me. Come, get in."

Historia quickly did so. She was overwhelmed by the scent of clean leather and her father’s body spray. It sent a jolt through her, but it was oddly calming. He said no more as he drove out of the estate and towards the town exist. Historia had a million questions for him. Why was he driving her? Wasn’t he supposed to be in Hawaii? Where was mother? Why couldn’t her usual driver take her? Part of her even worried that this was it. Her father would eventually open his mouth and tell her he was sending her across the country to a boarding school where she would be miserable. Where she would forever regret how she had opened her mouth against him. But he never said a word. He was stiff, stony, expression vacant and eyes trained forward the entire ride.

Historia snuck glances. He was dressed formally, as usual, in his expensive grey suit, gold watch and pristinely polished black shoes. His phone suddenly rang as they turned onto a dirt road, but he ignored it without a reaction.

“Um, father?”

He didn’t blink. “Yes, Historia?”

“Your phone is ringing.”

“I am aware.”

“Oh.” She stared out the window, noticing a horse eating lazily as its tail swept side to side. She could see a few chickens running around as well. “Isn’t it important?” she finally asked.

Mr Reiss stepped down onto the clutch pedal and slowed the car. “It can wait.” They parked in front of the Braus family home.

Historia took an unsteady breath. “Guess we’re here.”

“I should hope so.” A beat of long, uncomfortable silence. “Enjoy your weekend, Historia.” He didn’t look at her, and he hadn’t removed his hands from the steering wheel. But Historia’s heart soared anyway and she couldn’t keep the stupid grin from her face.

“I will. Thank you, father.” She climbed out slowly, longing to stay a little longer beside her father in this weird moment where he actually acknowledge that she was somehow more important than a business call.

“If you require assistance, call your mother,” his voice stopped her from closing the door. “My flight leaves in an hour and I will only be back within a week.”

Historia nodded. “Of course. Thank you. Um, please be safe.” She shut the door hesitantly and watched as the car drove away, feeling lighter than ever. It was the same feeling that she had experienced after dinner with her mother. They had spoken about their feelings. Historia finally understood where her parents came from. It wasn’t that they hated her, but merely that they were not like her and could not provide what she needed. Historia knew that they could have probably aborted her, but they hadn’t. They had chosen to have her anyway. Sure, her life thus far had been pretty crappy. No one had shown her how to stand on her own two feet, how to tell people that she existed, that she mattered. But she was learning, and she was teaching her parents as well. She walked up to Sasha’s house and rang the doorbell. A minute later the door flew open.

“Historia!” Sasha launched herself through the door and tackled her in a big, crushing hug. “You’re here!”

Historia hugged back just as tightly. She was still grinning. “I am.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did.”

“Are you feeling… ready to twerk?”

Historia rolled her eyes and pulled away. “Sasha, are we twerking or dancing?”

“Whatever your body desires…” Sasha drawled, wiggling her brows. She snickered and wound her arm around Historia’s. “Alright. ‘Mir is here already, so let me show you to your room and then we can show you some dance moves.”

Historia blinked. “Ymir is here?”

“’S what I said, darlin’.”

“Oh.”

“You okay?”

Historia realized that her face was burning. Somehow just the mention of Ymir sent her mind into outer space; and the fact that she kept imagining Ymir dancing with lean, long limbs and sculpted, freckled muscles. She hoped she would have a chance to see some of Ymir’s muscles today. Even if just for a second. Luckily Sasha couldn’t read her thoughts, but she was definitely eyeing Historia suspiciously.

Historia was so lost in her thoughts that she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings, and started when Sasha pressed a hand to her lower back and swept her arm forward. In front of them was an open door, beyond that a cosy looking room.

“Your room for the weekend. Just drop your stuff and I’ll take you to the others.”

“Others?” Historia rolled her bag into the room, straightening at the sight of a bag already on the bed. “Uh, isn’t this someone else’s room?”

Sasha eyed the bag. “Don’t worry about that now. And I invited Mikasa and Connie over to help with dancing. Mikasa is probably pawing at Ymir as we speak.” She shook her head, grinning. “She’s a perfectionist, that one.”

Something hot and horrid coiled in her tummy at the thought of Mikasa’s hands on Ymir. What were they doing? Dancing against each other? Was Mikasa eyeing Ymir’s attractive bodice? Historia felt sick at the thought, so she tossed her bag onto the floor and then grabbed Sasha’s wrist as they hurried down the hallway. Sasha didn’t comment and quietly gave her directions until they reached a set of double doors. Historia could hear the thump of bass from beyond. She took a breath and opened the door, lyrics hitting her ears.

“ _Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Are you crazy? Must be stupid if you think that we can start again.”_

Historia paused in the doorway so abruptly that Sasha slammed into her back, and she stumbled forward on unsteady feet. Her eyes flew wide, just as Ymir’s did, and she managed to get a good, long eyeful of bronze abs before her shoes caught on nothing and she toppled over onto the floor. She barely felt the fall, but her face burnt with embarrassment as she stared up at the ceiling, and then it got worse when Ymir suddenly hovered over her.

“ _’Cause I’m hurting, baby.”_

The music stopped abruptly and Ymir was reaching down, her glasses slipping down the slope of her nose. The first thing Historia had noticed was Ymir’s bared stomach—for some reason she had been lifting her shirt mid-dance move. That had been Historia’s literal downfall.

“We really need to stop meeting like this,” Ymir commented dryly, but there was an unsure grin on her lips.

“I’m a little scared about this dance now,” Historia added playfully, accepting the hand and lifting herself up. “Thanks.” Their hands dropped, but Historia’s skin tingled where Ymir had touched her. Was this what being in love really felt like? Just touching Ymir made her tingle, the smell of Ymir made her blood sing and seeing her, well, it set her heart on fire. Historia’s pulse thrummed harshly in her throat, enough that she worried Ymir could hear it.

“Me too,” Sasha drawled from behind them. She slunk into the room, eyes narrowed. “And who gave you permission to grind out to Connor Maynord without me?” she asked Mikasa.

Mikasa shrugged. “Ymir is hot, and she can dance. I wanted to show her some things.”

“I leave you alone for ten minutes,” Sasha growled playfully. She sighed, shaking her head. “But I agree. Ymir, that was really hot.”

Historia’s face flushed even further. She couldn’t remember what dance move Ymir had been doing, only that her shirt had been lifted and just the sight of her brown tummy wiped Historia’s brain clean. She cursed herself softly. Why did her hormones have to overtake her brain and make her miss out on seeing Ymir dancing like a sex goddess?

“Guys, I’m really not that great at dancing,” Ymir told them, rubbing her neck. There was a hint of a blush at her cheeks, making Historia swallow lightly just at the sight.

“Sure thing, Ymir,” Mikasa said, rolling her eyes. She walked over to where Connie sat slumped over, and then picked him up bridal style. “I think I need to put the Princess to bed. Sasha?”

Sasha laughed at Connie’s limp body. “You can pop him onto the couch. Mavis will probably draw a dick on his bald head, but it’s a price he has to pay.”

Mikasa grinned in amusement and carried Connie out of the room. Historia thought she caught the sight of drool on his chin.

“Is Connie okay?” she asked.

Sasha waved her hand. “Yeah, he’s just tired all the time. So, what was Mikasa showing you?”

Ymir cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses. Historia zeroed in on them. The last time she had seen them was back in primary school. She had forgotten how absolutely adorable Ymir looked with them, and couldn’t stop herself from blurting the first time that came to mind.

“Nice glasses.”

Ymir lifted a brow. “Um, thank you?”

Historia wanted to slap herself, but didn’t. “I mean, uh, they look good on you…”

Ymir took the glasses off and stared down at them. “Are these babe magnets or something?”

Sasha snorted. “Probably.”

“Where’s the bathroom?” Ymir asked.

Sasha gave directions, so Ymir placed her glasses back on and then disappeared down the hallway. Historia watched her go for a moment, heartbeat thundering in her throat.

“So, you’re a glasses gal, huh?” Sasha asked, waggling her brows.

Historia whipped around. “Wh-what?”

“Nah, it’s cool. I get a gal-pal boner for Ymir too sometimes.” She grinned in a way that made Historia’s stomach flip. Was she that obvious about her feelings? Would Sasha mention it to Ymir if she really did know?

“S-so, what are we doing for this dance?”

Sasha eyed her for a long moment. Eventually she eased up when Mikasa joined them, and then they pulled her to the centre of the room and Sasha began explaining the basics of dancing. She was in the middle of it when Ymir returned, hair clipped back out of her face and glasses gone—most likely traded for contact lenses, as well as her t-shirt exchanged for a tank top that exposed her sculpted, freckles shoulders. She sent Historia a look when she caught her gaze, but joined them without a word.

“Historia?” Sasha groaned. “Are you listening to me?”

Historia forced herself to look away from Ymir’s tall form. “Uh… what was that?”

Mikasa placed a hand on Sasha’s shoulder. “You can do this, babe,” she encouraged.

Sasha looked to Ymir for help, but Ymir only shrugged. Yeah, this was definitely going to be a challenge. How was Historia supposed to focus on something like a dance, when the perfection that was Ymir stood so close that she could reach forward and touch her?

Internally, Historia groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of chapter 27:
> 
> "Are you going to interfere?"
> 
> Sasha feigned hurt. "What, me? I'd never."
> 
> "So what's the plan?" Mikasa responded without a beat.
> 
> Sasha grinned broadly. "You'll see."


	27. Chapter 27

Connie slept for another full hour before Sasha decided to put their dance practise on pause and send him home. She personally called his mother and then plopped down on top of him, laughing at his groan of annoyance.

“Sash’, bro. Get off me.”

“Naw,” Sasha drawled. “Your ma is here.”

Connie managed to sit up, Sasha still in his lap. “You called her for me?”

“Yep.”

“Thanks bud. Sorry for falling asleep like this. I know you wanted my help.”

Sasha gently pressed her palms to his cheeks. “Hush now, my bald child.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You’ve been extra training with Mikasa, so I understand. Go home and rest. We’ve got this.”

Connie gently set her aside, blushing brightly. “You’re the best, Sasha. Thanks.”

Sasha grinned at him. “Yes I am. Now go, Ma Springer is waiting.”

Connie said goodbye to Maven and the twins, and then hurried to the front door, high fiving Mr Braus on the way. Once he was gone, Sasha slumped down and sighed. She was exhausted already. Ymir was an exceptionally quick learner, and Mikasa was really patient, but Historia… well, Historia was struggling. Her huge crush on Ymir was so obvious that Sasha felt it difficult to keep to herself. Half the time Historia wasn’t even listening to her, or paying attention when Mikasa showed a dance move. She kept staring at Ymir. And Ymir was so oblivious that she didn’t notice at all.

“Sasha?” Mikasa appeared in the doorway, sweaty and catching her breath. “Connie left already?”

Sasha waved Mikasa over and pulled her down onto the couch. “Yeah. He needed to sleep. You’ve been too hard on him, Mika.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “He stays up all night playing that dumb game. Not my fault he gets so little sleep.”

Sasha gasped loudly. “Excuse you, but Neverwinter is _not_ dumb. He just hit level 100. _100_ , Mikasa.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes again, but she pulled Sasha in for a soft kiss. Sasha’s twin sisters made disgusted noises and quickly ran from the room, making Sasha laugh at their backs. She caressed Mikasa’s wrist with her thumb.

“How is Historia doing?”

“Badly.”

“She needs to stop ogling Ymir and focus.”

“Cut her some slack,” Mikasa chuckled. “She’s got it bad. I didn’t believe you at first, but I really see it now.”

Sasha nodded. “Yeah. I don’t know when they started falling for each other, but they did. It’s almost gross to look at.”

“Are you going to interfere?”

Sasha feigned hurt. “What, _me?_ I’d never.”

“So what’s the plan?” Mikasa responded without a beat.

Sasha grinned broadly. “You’ll see.”

“Do I need to sleep over as well?”

“Nah. I think I’ll just use this dance to my advantage,” she answered, eyes suddenly sparkling. “Hey, Mikasa. How about we make Historia jealous?”

Mikasa lifted a brow. “Jealous?”

XxX

It was getting pretty late, with the last of the afternoon sun spilling in through the high windows, bathing the wooden floors in golden light. Sasha’s entire body ached, but it was something that she was accustomed to, at least. She had spent many days dancing until she could barely move. It was a little worse now that she had extra motivation.

Sasha paused the music and grinned at her group. Ymir groaned and collapsed down onto her back.

“Sasha, you’re killing me,” she groaned. Sweat slid down the side of her face. “I’m dying.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Sasha scolded her. “You’ll thank me when we have the best dance of the grade.”

Historia was standing to the side, staring down at her shoes with a frown on her lips. Ymir had pretty much learnt the entire dance, but Historia had struggled badly. She had no coordination, and she kept confusing moves and bumping into Ymir or Mikasa. It was amusing to see when she elbowed Ymir in the boob once, but Sasha could see that Historia was beating herself up over it. She sidled over to her and offered a bottled water.

“Feeling the burn?” she asked casually, eyes trained forward on Mikasa. Ymir was still on the ground, groaning like a child while Mikasa tried in vain to get her up. Eventually Ymir listened and rose to her feet. Sasha took a moment to admire her. She was really tall, and thanks to all the working out she did, Ymir had a nice body too. Mikasa was a lot more toned, though, thanks to her rugby. Ymir was leaner, a little thinner. But still taller. When Mikasa looked over, Sasha wiggled her brows and grinned. Mikasa gave her a little nod in acknowledgement.

“Yeah,” Historia responded softly. “I just… I really suck, don’t I?”

Sasha sighed. “A little, yeah. Dancing is just not your thing, is it?”

Historia shook her head. “I feel terrible. I’m holding us up because I can’t get into rhythm.”

 _And because you’re thinking with the wrong head,_ she thought to herself, but kept that inside. Now wasn’t the time to joke. It was time to put her plan into action. “Maybe you should just sit back and watch us for a bit? You were getting a bit flustered between all of us. Seeing the whole dance a few times could help sort it all out for you.”

Historia lifted her head as Mikasa slipped an arm around Ymir’s waist, saying something to her that they couldn’t hear. Ymir’s expression was as serious as ever. It was her _Scholar Face,_ as Sasha liked to put it. She nodded, and then she dipped her hips and let Mikasa guide her body into a smoother move. Historia watched them intently, a sudden tick in her brow.

“Yeah,” she huffed out softly. “Maybe. I’m just in your way anyway.”

Sasha set her bottle down on the floor and reached out to take Historia’s hand. “Historia, you aren’t a burden to us, alright? You’re just not good at this. And that’s alright. Ymir can sing really well, and I can’t. I love singing though, but I’d probably put you in the hospital if I did it in front of you. We can’t all be good at everything.” She smiled genuinely, rubbing circles along Historia’s palm with her thumb. “You’ve got this, because we’ve got you. We’re friends, right?”

Historia’s eyes widened slightly, shining with slight tears. She nodded. “Yeah, we are. Thank you.”

“Great.” Sasha dropped her hand. “Now just watch us, okay? Dinner is almost done anyway.”

Historia nodded, so Sasha jogged back over to Mikasa and Ymir. Mikasa had a hand on Ymir’s inner thigh, explaining how to sweep her leg around more smoothly.

“Got it?” Mikasa asked.

Ymir cleared her throat. “Yup.”

Sasha grinned. “Well, what do we have here?” she asked playfully. “You seducing my girl, ‘Mir?”

For once Ymir didn’t blush and turn into an awkward mess. She just rolled her eyes. “We’re _dancing._ ”

Mikasa’s eyes flicked to Historia and back, and she lifted a brow at Sasha. _What now?_

Sasha considered her options. Historia was still watching, so that was good. They had perhaps twenty or so minutes until Sasha’s father called them out for dinner. A glorious idea hit, and Sasha grinned widely. “You know what, let’s just do the dance again one more time.”

They all agreed, so Sasha played the song and they began. They only danced for the first two minutes of it, unsure if they wanted to do the entire song or simply leave it as is. Historia watched them intently, but her eyes were mostly focused on Ymir, a light blush across her cheeks, teeth digging into her lower lip. Sasha decided to make her move.

“Freestyle!” she yelled over the music before she broke formation and launched herself into Ymir’s arms.

“What the fuck?” Ymir cursed, but she caught her and twirled her around.

“Just go with it,” Sasha urged. David Guetta’s _Turn Me On_ , started playing, so Sasha twisted around and pressed her back into Ymir’s front, and then she slid down her body to the floor, well aware that both Mikasa and Historia were glaring at her. “Pull me up!” she hissed at Ymir.

Ymir’s eyes were wide, but she obeyed and lifted her swiftly, and then Sasha twisted around, Ymir’s hands still in hers, and turned her around to face Mikasa. Mikasa grabbed her by the waist and pulled them close, and then Sasha pressed to her back.

“Jesus Christ,” Ymir sputtered just as the song ended. She pulled away stumbling, face red. “What was that?”

Sasha collapsed in Mikasa’s arms. “A little dirty dancing didn’t hurt nobody,” she drawled playfully. She caught the sound of footsteps and sighed in relief. “My dad is here to call us. Food time!”

Seconds later the door cracked open and Sasha’s father stuck his head in. “Food’s ready, kids.”

“We’re coming!” Sasha told him. She stayed close to Ymir’s side as they made their way out of the room, but Historia sneakily inserted herself between them. Ymir didn’t seem to notice, and Mikasa was smirking lightly in the way that told Sasha she was torn between being highly amused and offended.

Historia kept shooting her glances. Operation ‘Make Historia Jealous’, a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have unfortunately caught up with every available chapter. I haven't written anymore, and thus cannot provide a preview for chapter 28. I'm sorry guys. I've been off work for just around two weeks, and I spent a lot of that time watching anime and playing games. I go back to work tomorrow, so I can't promise that I'll be able to finish chapter 28 in time to update on the 2nd. I will try. I appreciate your patience!


	28. Chapter 28

After eating with Sasha’s huge family, Sasha told them to shower in the lower floor bathroom. Historia went first, glad to get the grime and sweat off her skin. She was sorely out of shape. Breathless in two seconds out of shape. She’d have been embarrassed about it if she hadn’t been so entranced by Ymir throughout the day.

Historia made her way to the guest room where she would be staying, biting down on her lip. She remembered Sasha and Mikasa grinding on Ymir from earlier, and wondered not for the first time why the hell Sasha had done that. She had been… really touchy. Historia knew that girls could be more physically intimate without it meaning anything, but her stomach still pulled tight and she felt something like anger in her gut. She passed by Ymir in the hallway.

“Off to shower?” she asked casually, relieved that her voice didn’t waver.

Ymir slowed down slightly. “Yeah. You done?”

Historia nodded. “Their shower is really nice. I, um, hope you enjoy it.”

Ymir sent her a grin and then sauntered down the passage. Historia paused to watch her, eyes lingering until Ymir disappeared from sight. She imagined Ymir in the shower, legs that went on forever, abs she could bounce a coin off of, an ass that could crack a nut… she shook her head, cheeks blazing.

 _Stop being such a hormonal mess,_ she scolded herself. She made her way to the room and went over to her bag to dump her dirty clothes. Ymir’s bag—if it was hers—was still there, but on the floor. Sasha had told her not to worry about it, and she had assumed that Sasha would have found another room for either of them, or something. Clearly she hadn’t. What were they supposed to do, sleep in the same bed?

“You alright there?” Sasha spoke up from the doorway, a grin on her face. “You look a little out of it.”

Historia cleared her throat and looked away from Sasha’s knowing gaze. She suddenly felt very angry, and bit down hard on her lip. “I’m fine,” she snapped harshly, not even sorry about her tone.

“Okay, great,” Sasha stated casually. She inched her way into the room. “How was the shower?”

“Fine.”

“The food?”

“It was good.”

“Sorry that Mabel threw a pea at you.”

“It’s okay.”

Sasha hummed softly and then plopped back down on the bed. “Something on your mind?” She swung her legs back and forth, innocently glancing off to the side, but Historia knew better. Sasha was expecting something, waiting for something. So Historia would give it to her.

“What’s your deal with Ymir?” she blurted. “You were all over her today.”

Sasha glanced up and met her gaze. “Well, Ymir is all kinds of attractive, if you’ve noticed.”

“I _have_.”

Sasha lifted a brow. “I was just showing her some moves, is all.”

“Does Mikasa know that you’re attracted to Ymir? Would she mind it at all?” There was a threat there. Historia’s heart sunk suddenly when she realized that she was using _that_ voice _,_ the one she often heard her mother use on business calls, when a client wouldn’t do her bidding or was being difficult.

“Is that a threat?” Sasha didn’t seem perturbed. If anything, she seemed amused.

Historia flushed. “I’m sorry, Sasha. I’m being an ass.”

“You are.”

“It’s just… um, I thought you were into Mikasa, and now you’re into Ymir, and I—”

“Don’t want to miss your chance,” Sasha interrupted, grinning. “Gotcha.”

“N-no! That’s not… I mean I’m not… Ymir and I…”

Sasha chuckled. “I won’t tell a soul, promise. Not even Ymir’s.”

Historia opened her mouth to protest some more, but then Ymir appeared in the doorway, surprised to see them. “My what?” she asked. Her skin was darker than usual, most likely flushed from the shower, and her brown hair was still damp. Her glasses were back on, making Historia’s stomach tingle again.

“Nothing!” Sasha hopped off the bed. “So, we have some extra workers over this weekend and they’ve taken all the extra beds. You’ll both need to share.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. Historia felt her world tilt slightly, and her heart began to thunder hard in her chest. “Share?” Ymir enquired, a touch of panic in her voice. “I can sleep on the floor.”

Sasha shook her head. “No extra blankets, either. So it’s share with Historia or sleep on the hard floor.” She skipped over to Ymir, still grinning. “Historia’s tiny, so I’m sure it won’t be too bad sharing the bed.”

Historia and Ymir both glanced over at the bed—it was a single. She swallowed when Ymir’s eyes met hers, but she saw unhappiness there, and her heart dropped. Ymir really didn’t want to be that close to her?

“Okay,” Ymir relented. She silently dropped down and shoved her clothes into her bag.

Sasha flashed them a pleased grin. “I’ll wake you guys tomorrow! Sleep well.” She scurried out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Historia stood frozen by her bag, unable to look at Ymir or the bed. She felt sick suddenly and wished the floor would swallow her whole, but life was never that easy. Just knowing that this made Ymir uncomfortable—probably even disgusted—made tears press against her eyes. Her emotions roared and flared, and she would have had some sort of attack if Ymir’s voice hadn’t pulled her out of it.

“Do you like to sleep by the wall?”

Historia blinked. “I’m sorry?”

Ymir lifted the blankets and gestured to the bed. “Which side would you like?”

“Um, either is fine.”

Ymir nodded, set her glasses down on the bedside table and climbed in, scooting over to press against the wall. She lifted the blanket for Historia to get in, eyes staring off to the side. Historia nervously crawled in next to her and then switched the lamp off. With the bed being so small, they were pressed up against each other. Historia felt Ymir’s bare legs against her own, and it set her body alight. Ymir was on her back, and so was Historia, so their shoulders were pressed together.

“This isn’t comfortable,” Ymir commented softly.

Historia nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Ymir snorted. “Goodnight, Historia.” She turned around so that her back faced Historia and shifted as close to the wall as possible. Historia wanted to turn around and spoon her, but was pretty sure Ymir wouldn’t appreciate that.

“Goodnight,” she responded softly. She turned around onto her side as well and stared into the quiet darkness of the room. The length of Ymir’s back lightly pressed against her own. It was just so easy to lean back and feel the rest of her, bask in her warmth and soft skin. Historia’s heart thumped against her ribs, so hard that she pressed a hand against her chest. Her hands—and knees—shook badly. Ymir’s smell overwhelmed her, but it also put her at ease. Just like that time Ymir had given her shirt, Historia was lulled into relaxing with Ymir’s intoxicating smell surrounding her.

Somehow, she fell into an easy sleep even though she knew Ymir lay rigid beside her.

XxX

Historia had fallen asleep a while ago. Ymir knew this by her even breaths and how her body had gone slack, pressing fully against Ymir’s back. She was insanely uncomfortable, knees and breasts and nose pressed against the cold wall. Every part of her wanted to just turn around and pull Historia against her, but that was definitely not something she could do. Historia was asleep. That would be creepy. But her position made it impossible to sleep.

Ymir sighed softly, resigned. Either she gathered her courage and just turned around, or she stayed where she was and not sleep at all. She knew which choice she wanted to make, but it was difficult. Her heart stuttered in her chest, blood rushing in her ears. She was all but hyperventilating, hands shaking underneath the blanket. Eventually she took a deep breath and turned around, glad for the relief when her back pressed to the wall and she was no longer suffocating.

Warmth pressed into her front and soft, wispy hair tickled the top of her nose. She inhaled in surprise, the scent of lavender and strawberries consuming her. Historia shifted in her sleep, bringing them even closer together, and then she released a little sigh and it took every bit of control for Ymir not to reach out and hold her. Ymir’s hands twitched against her thighs and her legs moved slightly, as if she would build the courage to tangle their legs. She didn’t. Historia continued to breathe softly and Ymir listened to every inhale and exhale. She focused so intently that before she realized it, she was calmed into slipping her eyes shut and falling asleep.

The last thing she registered before sleep took her, was the softness of Historia’s ass pressed against her crotch.

XxX

The thing that woke Ymir was an insistent, aggravating itch on her face. She tried to alleviate the discomfort by twitching her nose, but that didn’t work, so she cracked her eyes open. Thus she discovered that her entire face was somehow covered in Historia’s hair, which was alarming, since she was laying on her back. And true to god himself, Historia was half on top of her, resting comfortably on her tummy.

Ymir’s heart nearly stopped

“Jesus,” she muttered softly.

Ymir lifted a hand and brushed Historia’s hair off of her face, taking a good few minutes to untangle some locks from around her neck—how they had gotten there, she’d never know. Historia slept throughout all of it, content with herself. She was even lightly snoring. How dare she? Ymir grunted when she finally freed herself from the golden net, and then she stared up at the ceiling.

“How the fuck…?” she whispered softly. Getting out of this situation wouldn’t be so simple. Of course it wouldn’t be. Besides the fact that Historia was more on top of her than the mattress, their legs were also all tangled up and Ymir’s entire left arm was so numb that it felt icy cold. She tried to move it but winced in pain. Plus, she could feel an entire, full, soft breast mushed against her ribs. Historia’s cheek was pressed right between her own breasts, and each time she exhaled, a warm rush of air brushed against Ymir’s now sweaty skin.

_Jesus fuck. Oh my god. What the shit do I do? Dear lord, she’s so soft. So small and warm. Oh my god her crotch is on my thigh. Is that her foot under my knee? How in the fuck—_

Her internal screaming continued for a long, drawn-out minute until someone loudly knocked on the bedroom door, startling Historia awake and bringing Ymir’s panic to one, sharp point.

“Wakey, wakey, we’ve made eggs and bacey!” Sasha shouted. She cackled loudly and then walked away from the door.

“Ymir?” Historia lifted her head, eyes bleary and filled with confusion. She turned her head to stare Ymir in the face, but she only succeeded in bringing them so close that they could literally kiss and have no issue with the distance between their faces. Ymir swallowed so loudly that Historia heard it, and she furrowed her brows. “Y-Ymir?” she repeated.

Ymir couldn’t move much with Historia’s full weight on top of her. She contemplated panicking and bolting from the room, but couldn’t physically make herself move. Historia was… well, fucking adorable. She had a little drool at the corner of her mouth, and her hair was a nest of knots, but she was so cute. Ymir blinked hard, staring at her. She was sure that her cheeks were a dark red, and Historia could see it easily.

“Good morning, Historia,” she spoke softly, going for the cool and collected approach. “How did you sleep?”

Historia glanced around them, realizing with a gasp that they were intimately pressed against each other. It didn’t help that Ymir’s shirt had ridden up to under her breasts in their sleep, and when Historia sat up and shuffled away, her hands pressed against Ymir’s stomach.

“G-good morning,” Historia stuttered. She brushed her hair out of her face. “Um, I’m sorry.”

Ymir tested the movement of her arm, relieved when feeling and warmth washed back into it. “I woke up with you on top of me.”

“Oh my god. I’m sorry, Ymir.” She went red to the tips of her ears, and her blue eyes shimmered with panicked tears. “I didn’t do it intentionally. I know you’d never let me lay on you like that. I didn’t mean it, honestly.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. _That I’d not let you? Do you still think some part of me hates you?_ “It’s okay,” she assured. “The bed is small. It happens.”

Historia looked down between them, but quickly flicked her gaze elsewhere. “Um, your stomach, it’s, uh…”

Ymir blushed harder. “Shit, sorry.” She covered her tummy and sat up, reaching for her glasses. “I guess we should get dressed and head to breakfast.”

Historia nodded hurriedly. “Yep.” She stumbled off the bed and padded over to her bag. Ymir did the same, casting glances over at Historia. She only stopped looking when Historia pulled her sleep shirt off. A fresh blush took Ymir’s face, and she swore even her shoulders grew hot. She tried not to think about the fact that Historia was topless for the few seconds that she was. When Ymir recovered from the blood rushing to her head, she felt a soft touch on her arm and turned to see Historia’s embarrassed face.

“I’ll head out first,” she said softly. “See you at the table?” Her touch was light, gentle, but it sent a shiver through Ymir all the same. All Ymir could do was nod dumbly and watch Historia leave the room.

Ymir pulled a shirt from her bag, cursing. “Fuck. This is getting bad.” Somehow, soon, she was going to do something and Historia would realize her feelings. She didn’t know how or when, but she knew it was coming. The only question was, how would Historia react when it finally happened? Ymir tried not to dwell on the thought.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am somewhat depressed rn because life tends to suck on my ass. At least I finished the chapter! Enjoy

After eating, Sasha led them to her studio so that they could get ready to start practising. She made sure that they relaxed for a full hour, to let the food settle, and then she started them off with a few light stretches. The last thing she wanted was to injure her friends. It was also entirely too amusing to watch Ymir and Historia sneak glances at each other. Sasha wasn’t entirely certain what had happened between them the night before, but clearly something had. Historia had a permanent blush, and Ymir kept zoning out. Whenever the two looked at each other, they would hurriedly look away. Sasha narrowed her eyes slightly as she stretched the muscles in her arms.

Historia was stretching her legs, squatting low to really warm them up. She had her eyes focused on the ground, so of course Ymir took the time to ogle her. Sasha watched on, amused, as Ymir’s eyes trailed along Historia’s stretched leg to her backside. Her gaze lingered for a long, silent minute, and then Historia stood and Ymir looked away, blushing.

 _Oh dear god, I may have made it worse._ Sasha cleared her throat loudly, garnering her flustered friends’ attention. “All stretched out?” she asked them, grinning.

“Wh-what?” Historia asked, blush deepening.

“I think so, yeah,” Ymir answered. She straightened and rubbed a hand over her face.

Sasha sighed. On one hand she was loving this, because she wanted them to be together. But on the other, they were totally not going to get this dance worked out in one weekend.

XxX

Historia felt a slight headache coming on. They had been dancing for a few hours, with breaks in between, but the loud, thumping music—and the repetition of the same song—was really starting to get to her. Not to mention that she was still struggling. Sasha was getting visibly frustrated. Whenever Historia thought she got the hang of a move, she would lose rhythm with another and either fall over or bump into someone. It was difficult enough trying to focus with Ymir right next to her. Whenever they stepped a little closer, Historia felt the warmth radiating off of her body, and liquid heat pooled in her lower belly.

Historia snapped her attention back, but not in time to catch the beat and turn in smoothly. She ended up flailing and smacking Ymir’s arm, and so Sasha paused the song and sighed, crossing her arms.

“I think we need a break,” she said evenly. “I’m going to grab a coke. Want anything?”

Ymir walked over to grab her towel on the ground. She panted softly as she wiped the sweat from her face and neck. “Water, please.”

“Historia?”

Historia tore her gaze away from Ymir to look at Sasha. “Um, a coke too, if that’s okay.”

Sasha nodded and then left, humming the song softly to herself. When she was gone, Historia’s shoulders slumped and she crumbled to the floor in a miserable heap. Despite their stretching, she ached all over. She felt insanely disappointed in herself. She must have sighed very loudly, because she felt heat at her back and tilted her head to see Ymir looming over her.

“Are you okay?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

Historia blushed. “U-um, I’m fine. Just…” she dropped her head and stared at her lap. “I’m really sucking at this dance. Maybe I should just ask Hanji to let me pass with an absent, or just fail me. I don’t want to bring our mark down because I have no rhythm at all.”

Ymir made a noise in her throat, drawing Historia’s eyes. “Nuh-uh, come here.” She reached out with a hand. For a long moment Historia merely stared, but then she realized that she was supposed to take the hand, and so she did.

“Ymir?”

“Look, you don’t need to dance expertly like Sasha.” She wrapped her long, warm fingers around Historia’s wrist and then spun her around, pulling her in until Historia’s back was pressed to her front. “Step up on my feet.”

“Wh-what?”

Ymir chuckled. “I’m going to make you dance, squirt. Now climb on top of me.”

Historia felt her ears burn, but she obeyed the command and clumsily stepped atop Ymir’s shoes. “I’m not too heavy, am I?”

“No, you’re good. Now, hold on, okay?”

Ymir wrapped one arm around her waist. Her grip was firm and strong, but the immense heat from Ymir’s body made Historia shiver. She cleared the haze on her brain by shaking her head lightly and nodded to let Ymir know that she understood.

“Okay, so the first part you can do,” Ymir started. She hummed the song and did the first few steps. “But you struggle when we do this.” She turned. Historia felt off balance, but Ymir’s strong arm kept her from wobbling and toppling over. Historia took the time to really focus on what Ymir was doing, feel the way their bodies moved, how they swept to the side, twirled around. When the part came where they lifted their arms, Ymir slid a hand down her arm and intertwined their fingers, lifting their hands into the air together. When the move ended she dropped the hold, but Historia’s skin still tingled. “Are you getting it?”

Historia swallowed thickly. She felt relaxed and wound up at the same time. Nothing had ever felt so… right, being pressed up against Ymir like that. It took a lot of strength to nod her head and not stare off like an idiot. Historia’s heart was pounding. If Ymir listened hard, Historia was sure that she would hear it.

“Okay, this is the last move, but it’s kind of difficult. Feel the move carefully. If you can get this, the rest should be easy.”

Historia forced her sinful thoughts away and actually focused. Ymir started moving them again, supporting both of their weight with ease. Historia’s body moved easily with hers, and in no time she realized that the move really wasn’t that difficult. She had been over thinking it from the start, and maybe she had been focusing on her own inability too much. When the dance ended, Ymir’s gentle humming tapered off, and then they stood there, breathing harshly, still pressed together.

“Thank you,” Historia uttered softly. She turned her head to look Ymir in the eyes, to show that she genuinely appreciated the fact that Ymir had gone through so much trouble, but didn’t realize exactly how close they were. She gasped, jerking back, and her foot slid off of Ymir’s. Ymir stumbled forward, but her hold remained, Historia turned around fully, and she steadied them both. She straightened quickly, but it only brought their faces even closer. Like this, Historia could see each fleck of green and gold in Ymir’s eyes. She stared into them, her own eyes wide open, her lips parted in shock and embarrassment. Ymir’s arm tightened around her. The air around them seemed to thicken, heat up. Historia found it difficult to breathe.

Choking on an inhale, Historia’s eyes flicked down to Ymir’s lips. They were right there. Her mind went blank and her heart shot into her throat.

“C-careful,” Ymir scolded softly, but there was no power behind the words. Historia’s eyes flicked back up and her heart stuttered at the sight of red on Ymir’s cheeks.

“Sorry,” she whispered softly.

The moment felt surreal. Neither knew exactly what was going on, but they were stuck, frozen in place. If they made a single move, the moment would shatter and reality would crash back in. All Historia could see was Ymir’s brown skin and soft lips, and before she realized what she was doing, she leaned in.

“Sorry for taking so long!” Sasha burst into the room, their preferred drinks in her hands.

Her loud shout startled them out of their daze, and both of them broke away quickly. Historia blushed almost painfully and she took a good few steps away from Ymir’s warmth and scent and inviting lips. Her hands were shaking so badly that she hid them behind her back. Sasha eyed them suspiciously.

“Ready to get back to work?” she asked cautiously.

Historia could feel Ymir’s eyes on her, but she couldn’t will herself to look at her. Instead she nodded, eyes fixed on her feet. She bit down hard on her lower lip.

“Great!” Sasha exclaimed. “Let’s get to it then.” She hit play, and the loud bass rumbled beneath Historia’s feet.

Though it wasn’t enough to douse the thunderous volume of her thrumming heartbeat.

XxX

Music streamed into her ears, but it was a sudden brush of cold air that roused Ymir from a fitful sleep. She shifted underneath the blanket and pulled an earphone out, wincing slightly. It took a moment to realize that she was alone in bed, and with that realization came a short, concerned thought.

_Where is Historia?_

“ _Take it slow, put it down on me. I said jump on it, ride it like a pony. Lights down low, time to get naughty. Lights down low, tell me—tell me, time to get naughty.”_

Ymir blushed slightly at the lyrics and fumbled for her phone to hit pause. When the raunchy song stopped, she spread out on the bed and sighed. She used music to deal with uncomfortable situations, and having to spend another night beside Historia qualified especially after that had happened. Nothing plagued her mind like Historia did, especially after their awkward morning and then almost kiss. Had it really been an almost kiss? Ymir was certain that Historia had leaned towards her, but that might have been wishful thinking. Or a misunderstanding. Either way, Ymir’s pulse climbed just remembering it. More than anything she wanted that almost kiss to have happened, but another part of her, the quiet, scared part, worried on something horrendous.

_What if Historia is only pretending to be my friend to hurt me? What if she’s in league with Hitch and the others?_

The thought was irrational, she knew that, but it had been lingering on her mind ever since Historia sent her that first smile, that first glance. She swallowed lightly and sat up. The time on her phone read just after midnight. Where on earth had Historia gone to? It couldn’t have been the bathroom, because the bed on Historia’s side was cold. She had probably been gone a while.

Worried, Ymir climbed out of bed and silently padded down the hallway. She checked the bathroom, found no one, and headed downstairs. She felt all kinds of wrong sneaking around in someone else’s home, and every little creak and groan made her heart patter in her chest. She was about to turn around and rush back up the stairs, but she remembered the studio and headed that way, sure she knew where Historia had disappeared to.

Just as she had thought, when she stepped into the studio, Historia looked up at her in surprise. She was mid-dance move, and when their gazes locked, she lost her footing and toppled onto the ground. Ymir winced at the dull thud of limbs on the wooden floor.

“Are you okay?” She walked closer slowly, expression neutral.

Historia remained splayed out on the floor. “Fine. Just peachy. Why are you up?”

Ymir nervously scratched the side of her cheek. “Uh, I woke up and saw you were gone, so I figured you came down here.”

Historia glared up at the ceiling. “How did you know?” Her tone was harsh, filled with aggravation and anger. Ymir furrowed her brows.

“It’s what I’d do,” she explained, matching Historia’s rough tone with one of her own. “If I was beating myself up as much as you are right now.”

Historia sighed. “I should be used to this,” she said. “Failing. Feeling inconsequential.”

Ymir lightly kicked her shoe. “Don’t be a moron.”

“Why not?” She sat up, pale moonlight making her blonde hair glow and blue eyes shine. “Why can’t I be a moron, Ymir? Why do you even care? It’s not like you’re struggling with this.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Look, I get why you’re pissed. Just don’t be pissed at me, alright? I’m not making you struggle. I’ve only been trying to help you.”

Historia rubbed a hand over her face. She sighed deeply. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” Her eyes looked sad and tired.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really.”

Ymir ran a hand through her tangled hair. “I’m sorry that I’m so…” She gestured to her body. “Big.”

Historia shook her head. “That’s not… I just, couldn’t sleep. A lot on my mind.”

Affection and concerned welled up inside of Ymir. They fell into silence, but Ymir studied Historia’s face for a long, aching moment. Seeing Historia like this, sitting on the ground, staring into her lap with a defeated frown and haunted eyes, made Ymir’s heart ache. She wanted nothing more than to reach out and smooth the crease between her brows, kiss the frown form her lips.

_She doesn’t need to be so sad over something so small._

“What are you good at?”

Historia glanced up at her, surprised. “What?”

“Your talents. What can you do well?”

She glanced off to the side, nibbling her lower lip. “I can write poetry, sometimes.”

“And?”

“Um, read really fast.”

Ymir dropped down beside Historia and lightly tapped her knee. “See? I can’t write for shit. Sure, I can sing, but that’s just something I was born with, you know? And yeah, I’m devilishly sexy, but that was just nature, too.”

Historia scoffed and shoved her shoulder. “Miss Ego.”

“Don’t act like you don’t agree,” Ymir joked.

Historia blushed and looked away. She cleared her throat. “Um, so do you just sing as a hobby?”

Ymir noted the topic change, the diverted gaze, but decided to let it go. “I just sing whenever I listen to music. It’s not really a hobby, just something I can do well.”

Historia nodded. “You should take it further.”

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to be a singer. What about you? Do you write more than just poetry?”

“Not really.” Historia swept a lock of blonde hair behind a pink ear. “I haven’t really written anything new. I used to when I was fourteen or so, to… deal with things.”

Ymir sensed that they were lingering on dark territory. She heard a deep sadness in the confession, and part of her really wanted to know more. Hesitantly, she pulled her legs in close against her chest and rested her chin down on her knees. “I used to draw,” she admitted quietly. She felt Historia’s eyes turn to her, but looked away. “When I went to Shiganshina primary in the next city. I was bullied too. It was worse there than with Reiner.” She furrowed her brows, remembering those dark times with horrid clarity. “So I started drawing to escape all the bruises and tears.”

Historia reached out and gently touched her wrist. “Ymir that’s… that’s horrible. I’m sorry.”

Ymir nodded. “They almost killed me once,” she added. Historia gasped. “It was a random day of the week, and I went up to the third floor to my math class. Some rugby players that usually bullied me decided to hang me over the side of the walkway. My belt snapped and if one of them hadn’t been holding my ankle so tightly, I would have fallen and… splat.”

When Ymir glanced up, nervous, she noted with surprise that Historia had tears in her eyes. “Ymir…” She scooted closer until they were side by side, shoulders pressed close. Historia was warm, but she was also shaking. “I’m… I don’t even know what to say.”

“There’s nothing to say. After that, though, I decided to stop being such a pussy. I fought back. I swore. And here I am today.”

Historia sniffled. “I’m glad that you at least took something good out of a bad situation.”

Ymir stiffened when Historia rested her head down on her upper arm—she was too short to reach Ymir’s shoulder. “Yeah.”

They fell into silence. Somewhere in the distance a chicken squawked, but other than that, there was no sound but their gentle breathing. Ymir felt her palms begin to sweat. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t build the courage to look at Historia’s face. They were too close. Her skin was warm. Ymir’s entire side, where Historia sat, was warm from the heat of her. Ymir swallowed.

“I think my parents do love me in their own weird way,” Historia uttered suddenly. She took a breath. “I finally stood up to my father, and I shouted some… passionate things at him. I don’t think they ever realized that they were damaging me.”

Ymir wanted to reach out and touch her, but didn’t. “Is that why you were so scared back then?”

Historia nodded. “I wanted to fit in with the popular kids, because my parents wanted me to make myself look good. I wanted nothing more than to please them. Hitch… well, she latched onto me as soon as she heard my last name.” She sighed. “I wonder now if she ever cared about me at all.”

“She was furious about Reiner hitting you, wasn’t she?”

Historia hummed. “Yeah, she really was.”

“Then in her own way, she cared too.”

Historia turned her head and glanced at her. Ymir couldn’t resist gazing back. “Why are you defending her?”

 _Because I care about you,_ she thought. “Because not everything is black and white. Every person has a reason, a motive. Even fuckheads like Hitch.” She swallowed. “Not that I care about her. I don’t. But I can observe things. I think Hitch saw that you had no self-identity, and she was grasping for one of her own. The biggest bullies are often those that have no control of their own lives.”

Historia stared at her, making Ymir regret her sudden word vomit. She looked way and rubbed the warm skin of her forearm with a thumb. Historia didn’t respond for a long while, and when she did, it wasn’t what Ymir was expecting.

“You’re kind of amazing, you know that?”

Ymir’s head snapped around. Without warning but with gentleness, Historia lifted a hand and traced a finger over the scar at her brow. “H-Historia?”

Historia’s eyes followed the movement of her finger. “It healed up, but it left a scar.”

Ymir had some witty response, but it fled her the second those blue eyes bore into her own. Her throat dried up and her heart started pounding. That gaze… Historia’s eyes were filled with so much emotion that Ymir had trouble picking them apart and putting a name to them. All she knew was that they echoed what she suddenly felt—hot, flustered and needy. Her lips felt cold and she knew nothing but Historia’s kiss would warm them.

“Ymir,” Historia whispered, breathless. They stared into each other’s eyes, Historia’s fingertips sliding down along Ymir’s cheek to trace a line along her jaw.

Ymir wasn’t sure who moved first. It was sudden an explosive, and when their lips finally met, a strangled groan fell into the kiss between them. Ymir surged forward, pinning Historia’s tiny body to the dance floor, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her hands pulled at Ymir’s hair, tugging her impossibly close. Heat and arousal throbbed through every cell in Ymir’s body, clouding her mind. She felt dizzy and elated. Historia’s lips were just as soft as she had imagined, and the taste of her was intoxicating. Ymir had never thought that this would ever happen. That she would be kissing Historia Reiss.

She was kissing Historia Reiss.

Gasping, Ymir pulled away. Historia’s fingertips slid from her hair, her tongue from her mouth, and she stared, opened mouthed, blue eyes widened, pupils blown wide. “Y-Ymir?”

Ymir felt the blush before it covered the entirety of her face. She looked away, clearing her throat. “We should get to bed.”

Historia nodded, and together they stood. They didn’t speak again, but Ymir gently took Historia’s hand and together they climbed into bed. When they settled, Historia hesitantly cuddled against her chest. Ymir didn’t let her thoughts overcome her again. She let it happen. Let their fingers and legs intertwine, let her nose bury in Historia’s clean hair, let their bodies sink into each other, heartbeats synching.

She let the memory of Historia’s kiss rip through her chest and soul, and she fell asleep feeling high.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited, so excuse any mistakes. Am currently doped up on calming pills. Hope you enjoy the chapter

A tap on her arm jolted Ymir out of her daydreaming, and she realized with a start that they were parked in front of the school gate.

“Earth to Ymir,” Ilse said, grinning. “I called your name like, six time.”

Ymir rubbed a hand over her tired eyes. “Sorry, Ilse. I was lost in thought.”

“Clearly. You alright?”

Ymir considered it. She… wasn’t entirely sure how she felt. The day before, Sunday, had gone by in a blur. She had woken alone in bed that morning and found Historia and Sasha in the studio. Historia never mentioned the kiss, even after a few hours dancing and then the rest of the day spent watching TV with Sasha’s endless siblings. When Historia’s mother picked her up, she had only said her goodbye and then gone home.

Did the kiss really happen?

Ymir ran a fingertip along her lip. She knew what Historia’s lips tasted like and how they felt against her own, and there was no way she had dreamt or imagined that. Was that all Historia wanted? To get into her pants? Ymir remembered the raw emotion she had seen in Historia’s eyes right before they had kissed, and that should have negated the negative thoughts, but still they persisted.

“I’m in love with Historia,” she blurted finally. “And we kissed. I’m not sure what to do or how to feel.”

Ilse released a long breath as if she was a deflating balloon. One look of her face and Ymir realized she had shocked her sister into silence. “Well, um… that was sudden. So you have feelings for her? Are you sure it’s love?”

Ymir pressed a hand against her chest. Her heart was aching. “I care about her,” she explained. “Even though I thought I hated her, when I came back here and saw that she was still struggling, I wanted to help. I did. I gave her a piece of my mind and I never let her put that mask on around me.”

“You remember what she did to you, right? How she hurt you?”

Ymir nodded. “I do.” She turned hesitantly and met Ilse’s concerned gaze. “What do I do, Ilse? I never wanted to fall in love with her… again. I don’t… what if it’s a joke?”

Ilse reached over and pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re stronger now,” she assured softly. “But be careful. I don’t know Historia at all, so all I can say is to watch out for her. You’re good at sensing bullshit. If you think she’s being insincere, then hightail it out of there. I can say one thing that I’ve noticed, though.” She pulled away. “You’ve changed since starting here, Ymir.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. “I have?”

“When last did you get into a fight?”

“Last term when Reiner kicked my ass.”

“I mean when you went out of your way to start one.”

Ymir looked away. “Couple months.”

“Exactly. You’ve been coming home with a dopey grin instead of bleeding wounds and bruises. You’re happy here, aren’t you?”

Ymir hadn’t realized it before, but Ilse was right. She thought of Sasha and of Historia, and the teachers that she had grown to like. This school was a lot more at ease than her previous one had been. People weren’t as inclined to cause shit, especially with her. Which was hilarious considering that her old enemies went here as well. But Ilse had a valid point. A large part of Ymir’s newfound happiness was in her friends. Sasha, that ass, and Historia. Sweet Historia.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “I am.”

“Then nothing can tear you down.” Ilse patted her gently on the cheek. “Now hop on off before you’re late.”

Ymir pressed a kiss to Ilse’s forehead and then climbed out the car.

Despite being late as well, Ilse sat and watched Ymir walk into the school. Ymir felt her gaze and grinned to herself, suddenly relaxed and less panicked than she had been a moment ago. Keeping things from Ilse was something Ymir never did. Telling Ilse about Historia, about her feelings, made the weight of them drop from her shoulder. If people weren’t looking, Ymir would have started skipping.

Close to the quad, Ymir glanced to the side and caught blue eyes glaring her way. She narrowed her eyes, but didn’t stop to see why the hell Nanaba was staring so sternly at her. Ymir hoped that Nanaba wasn’t an asshole, and that she didn’t think Historia had been stolen away. Ymir rolled her eyes to herself and gripped the strap of her bag tighter. People seemed to stare _at her,_ then, and she wondered if they had noticed her stare off with Nanaba, but then she caught the whispered word of ‘ _Reiner’_ and realized that they were whispering about something else entirely.

Something like fear and excitement fluttered in her tummy. Ymir made it to the quad and turned the corner at the matric building, but so did Reiner. He paused immediately, as did Ymir, and then they stared at each other.

He looked thinner and paler, and his eyes were sunken in. His hair was overgrown and a little messy, and the collar of his shirt was unbuttoned. He straightened slightly under Ymir’s stare, his hands and jaw clenched, but he didn’t move and he didn’t speak. Ymir felt like saying something, anything. But he was defeated enough. She rolled her eyes and walked past him, determined not to look back. Reiner didn’t follow her, didn’t call out to her. He disappeared around the corner.

Ymir made her way to register class, suddenly feeling anxious all over again.

XxX

Historia, somehow, was late. Her mother and father had disappeared, and so her driver had been left waiting for her. He generally didn’t question things, so no one was there to wake her up when her phone alarm failed. Cursing, Historia fumbled with her uniform. They were nearing school and she looked a mess. When they arrived, the driver said goodbye and waited for her to exit the car. She did so, sweeping a hand through her tangled hair.

“Great,” she muttered to herself. If she hadn’t been in the throes of the most intense wet dream of her life—staring one Ymir Wikström—she would have woken in time.

Historia blushed furiously at the memory. Apparently she hoped Ymir’s lips were gifted for more than kissing. Smiling to herself, Historia straightened and headed for the gate, but paused when someone waving caught her attention. At first she thought it was Ymir, and her heart did a hard flip, but the person was much older and softer. She waved again, eyes intently fixed on Historia. She hesitantly approached the car.

“Historia?” the woman asked.

Historia recognized her immediately—Ilse, Ymir’s sister. “That’s me, yes. You’re Ymir’s sister, right?”

Ilse smiled. “I am. Do you have a moment to chat?”

Historia’s stomach tightened with nerves, but she nodded and headed to the passenger side to climb into the car, as per Ilse’s gesture. When she was in, she instantly felt cold. Ilse’s friendliness had vanished, and in its place was suspicion and distrust.

“Ymir cares about you,” Ilse said evenly. “Do you know that?”

Historia stared down at her lap. She realized what this was about and her heart squeezed painfully. “Sh-she does?”

“Yeah. I don’t know why, considering what you did to her. But she does.” Ilse leaned in and tilted Historia’s head around, a warm finger underneath her chin. Ilse was just as pretty as Ymir, but her face had permanent worry lines, and her eyes were plain brown, not speckled with green and gold as Ymir’s was. “If you hurt her, I swear to every god in existence, that I will hurt you back. That kid is my whole life, you understand? I won’t tell you to stay away from her, because she is free to associate with whoever she wants. So if your motives for hanging out with her are less than angelic, run while you can.” Ilse’s eyes narrowed. “Do you understand me?”

Historia nodded mutely. She was terrified out of her mind. This was nothing like the anger of her parents, which was often quick and chaotic, and then cold and dismissive. Ilse was like a boiling volcano threatening to burn her alive. Historia didn’t doubt that she would.

“I understand,” she managed. “But can I… I mean, I care about her too.” She forced herself to maintain eye contact, even when Ilse lifted a brow, waiting for more. “Ymir, she… she saw me, you know? She saw right through me, and she didn’t let me stay in the cycle of self destruction that I had been stuck in. Ymir is amazing. I’ve ever met someone as amazing as her before. I’d honestly rather throw myself under your moving car before ever intentionally hurting her. I lo—” She caught herself, breath stuck in her throat. She hadn’t said it out loud yet, but she needed to. “I love her.”

Ilse scrutinized her for a moment. The animosity melted away quickly, replaced by that warmth and friendliness Historia had seen before she had climbed into the car. Ilse lightly patted her cheek. “Okay. Just let that idiot know, alright? Treat her right. I need to go to work and you need to get to class. The bell rang a while ago.”

Historia cursed softly and bolted, not without throwing a quick, “I’ll try my best!” to Ilse. Her short legs could only carry her so fast, so it took another five minutes for her to finally burst into class, dishevelled all over again and out of breath. Hanji stared at her, eyebrow raised.

“Good morning Historia,” she greeted. “Can you hand these out to the class, please?” She dumped a stack of papers into Historia’s arms. “Since you seemed so eager to get here on time.” She flashed a grin, winked and then plopped down on her desk. “Oh and ask another student for the morning announcement.”

Historia nodded and dropped her bag off before walking between the desks and handing out the pack of papers. From a glance she could tell they were from all of their teachers, with a compiled summary of everything they would need to learn for their tests.

Hitch and Mina ignored her when she passed by them, but Historia didn’t really care anymore. When she made it to Ymir’s desk, however, she suddenly paused, mouth dry.

They hadn’t talked about the kiss. _The kiss._ God, they’d kissed. It had been magical and hot and everything Historia had ever wanted, everything she had never felt with Nanaba. Her only complaint was that it had ended too soon. Sucking in a shaky breath, Historia dropped the last paper stack on Ymir’s desk.

“Good morning, Ymir,” she breathed, trying to sound cool and collected, but sounding out of breath and nervous instead.

Ymir stared down at her desk for a long, silent minute, eyebrows furrowed. She cleared her throat. “Morning,” she said. Historia lingered. “Reiner is back. Be careful.”

Historia nodded. “You too.”

Ymir grabbed for a pen and tapped it against the table. She finally glanced up, and when their eyes met, a shiver raced down Historia’s spine. It took everything not to dive forward and kiss her again. Historia wasn’t really sure if they would ever kiss again. Had it been a one-time thing? Did Ymir have feelings for her? She cared, as Ilse had said, but that didn’t really mean that Ymir loved her. Ymir was staring expectantly, waiting.

Historia nervously reached out and caressed the side of Ymir’s wrist. “See you at break?” she husked.

Ymir went red almost instantly, and nodded without a word. Historia’s heart went wild. She smiled, winked and then returned to her seat. She knew Ymir was staring at her, but she resisted the urge to look as well. Suddenly, she felt hopeful.


	31. Chapter 31

“ _I’ll take ya to the candy shop. I’ll let ya lick the lollipop. Go ahead girl, don’t you stop. Keep going ‘til you hit the spot, whoa.”_

Ymir tapped her foot lightly to the beat, thoroughly enjoying the remix of one of her favourite songs. But a shadow blocked the warm sunlight from her face, and she popped an earphone out to grumble.

“Who in the—” She paused upon noticing that it was Historia with Sasha by her side.

“Who in the what?” Sasha asked, grinning. “Why’re you all the way out here? We couldn’t find you.”

Ymir sat up and paused her music. She shuffled over so that the other two could sit by her. “Just…” She sighed. “Felt like taking a nap, is all.”

Historia eyed her curiously, but she took a seat beside Ymir on the pavilion and pulled her lunch box onto her lap. Sasha started drooling immediately.

“That looks amazing,” she cooed.

“It’s beef stir fry.”

“Yeah, I can smell.”

“Sasha, you have freakishly good senses.”

Ymir tuned them out and stuffed a single earphone in. _Candy Shop_ had lost its appeal, so she hit play on _Sexorcist_ and retrieved her drawing pad from her bag. Truthfully, she was being a coward. Just seeing Historia made her pulse fly all over the place. Ymir had slipped away as soon as second break hit in the hopes that she could find a little bit of peace. Not that she wanted to avoid them in general, but simply so that she could sort out how she felt. The kiss still scrambled her brain. Ymir hated the hold that Historia had on her, but she knew that avoiding it wouldn’t make it go away. All she could do was admit to her feelings.

When she gathered the courage to do that, though, was the question.

“What’re you listening to?”

Before Ymir had a chance to stop her, Historia slipped the other earphone in her ear. Ymir hardly cared what people thought of her music choice, but this was Historia, and for some reason what she thought mattered, and this was the worst possible song.

_“I am the sexorcist. All that you can resist. My sex will be your fix. SEX, SEX, SEX. I am the sexorcist. Free you from all your sins. Swallow my crucifix. SIX, SIX, SIX.”_

Ymir frantically paused the song, face burning. “I, um…”

Historia laughed, but stopped herself and covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have imposed. That song was, um…”

Ymir’s face burnt harder. “I’m sorry.”

“So you like music like that, huh?”

Ymir wanted to lean down until she could just slip underneath the seat and fall to the ground underneath the pavilion. Historia wasn’t looking at her with judgement or disgust, only mere curiosity and hints of amusement.

“Yeah,” she finally answered. “I like music that makes people freak out.”

“My favourite is Gunther,” Sasha piped up. She had grease around her mouth, which led Historia to cry out in outrage.

“My stir fry!”

“Have you heard it before?” Sasha asked, clearly ignoring the glare Historia sent her.

“I can’t believe you ate my food in like, ten seconds,” she muttered to herself.

Ymir laughed. She laughed so hard that her phone nearly fell off her lap. The blush of embarrassment turned to one of exertion, and she grasped her sides when they started to hurt. “Here,” she offered. “You can have half my sandwich.” She offered her lunchbox.

Historia’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes, really. Just keep mega-jaws away from it.”

Historia accepted the lunchbox with a smile and set it on her lap, shoving her now empty one in her bag. She ate the sandwich quickly while Sasha watched on, pouting. “No one answered me,” Sasha complained.

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Yes, I have heard Gunther. I went to that weird side of YouTube.”

“La la la la, no no,” Sasha shouted, standing and grabbing her crotch. “What the fuck, let’s do like Donald duck.” She started thrusting her hips, humming the song while Historia nearly choked on the last of her food. She started laughing, and Ymir couldn’t help but join in.

“Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Ymir exclaimed. “You’re insane.”

Sasha threw her head back. “No pantalones!” She dropped back down onto the seat. “I live free, Ymir. No one can hold me down.”

“No one but Mikasa, maybe,” Historia teased.

Ymir snickered. “I bet she’s into that.”

“All that BDSM stuff,” Historia agreed. They shared an amused glance. “Do you wield the riding crop, or does Mikasa?”

Sasha sputtered, face red. “Listen, I totally have more sexual experience than both of you.”

Ymir snorted. “I doubt it.”

“No, really!”

Historia rolled her eyes. She leaned over and slipped Ymir’s lunchbox back into her bag. “Everyone has experience, Sasha.”

“We all know you got lucky with your rugby captain,” Sasha shot back, eyebrows wiggling. “I mean, how could you not?”

Ymir’s stomach clenched tightly. She remembered Nanaba’s glare from the morning, and wondered if they really had been intimate. Of course, there was no doubt. Historia was gorgeous, and if she was willing, Ymir was sure that Nanaba would have been too…

“Well, yeah,” Historia admitted. She froze and shot Ymir a nervous glance.

“What about you, Ymir?” Sasha asked eagerly, leaning over to hear.

Ymir folded her earphones up and sighed. “Never been interested in someone enough, so no, I have no experience.” She cast Historia a meaningful glance, hoping that she understood it.

_You were my first kiss._

Historia’s eyes widened to saucers. Sasha noted with a frown, and opened her mouth to probably say so, but shut it quickly. Mild panic flashed over her face.

“Reiner, coming this way,” she said quickly.

Ymir straightened. Sure enough, Reiner was walking towards them, but he wasn’t alone. Berik—even taller than him, but not as bulky—walked with ease and purpose a little ahead of him. His eyes were glued to Historia, and Historia alone, making Ymir clench her fists tightly. Protectiveness welled up inside of her, making her stand and block Historia from their view.

“What do you want?” she growled at them.

Berik finally looked up and met her eyes. “I want to speak to Krista,” he said.

“It’s Historia,”

Berik rolled his eyes. “I’m sure _Historia_ can speak for herself, yeah? What are you, her bodyguard?”

Ymir felt a light pressure at her hip. Historia stood up beside her. “It’s okay,” Historia assured her, though she looked nervous. “What do you need from me?”

Berik stopped a few seats down from them. With Historia looking at him, he lost his threatening air. His dark skin darkened further. Reiner stayed a few steps behind him, looking everywhere but at them. “Is the rumour true?” Berik asked. “That you broke up with Nanaba?”

Historia reached out and gripped the edge of Ymir’s sleeve. “If it is?”

“Well…” Berik rubbed a hand over his face. “The amusement park is opening up this weekend, so I was, um, wondering if you’d like to go with me.”

Ymir felt like ice water had been dumped on her head. Fear and anger and loathing filled her up inside, making her throat close tight and her stomach churn. She remembered Historia’s kiss, how the scent of lavender clung to Historia’s skin, and that even afterwards in her own bed, Ymir still smelt it. She remembered the brush of Historia’s warm breath along her jaw, the way her fingers had trembled. What if Historia said yes? What if, because Ymir didn’t have the guts to talk to her about the kiss, she lost any chance? Did she even want a chance?

Historia cleared her throat. “Well, um, who all is going?”

Ymir clenched her teeth hard.

“Oh,” Berik scrunched his brows together. “No, I meant—”

“I’ll totally invite Mikasa and Connie!” Sasha exclaimed suddenly, face overly excited. She seemed a little too eager. “It’ll be super fun if we go as a big group!”

Berik frowned. “No, I—”

“Okay then,” Historia answered. “If it’s everyone, then I don’t mind.”

Berik sighed, but he seemed pleased. “Great!” he said, stepping back until he was off the pavilion. “I’ll, uh, text the details to you.”

Historia nodded. “Alright.”

Berik turned and stalked off. Reiner lingered a moment, gaze on Historia. He looked sad, but Ymir glared until he turned and left. She hadn’t even known that he was friends with Berik.

“This is going to be fun!” Sasha shouted. She pulled her phone out and started stabbing at the screen. Ymir sent Historia a glance.

“You sure this is okay?” she asked, heart pounding. It ached there, but she ignored it.

Historia smiled up at her. “Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be fun, right?”

Ymir’s stomach fluttered, but she felt sick. “Yeah. I guess.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates 'cause I missed one thanks to rAge (a gaming expo. I got an anime titty mouse pad yas). Hope everyone enjoys!

The bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. Ymir felt emotionally drained, and even Sasha seemed quieter than usual. She had been lost in thought most of their last period, and hadn’t even made a joke when the teacher called her out on it. She stared off into space while Ymir walked beside her, but Ymir didn’t much care enough to snap her out of it.

Her heart ached. She hadn’t stopped thinking about Historia, about how she had accepted that asshole’s invitation and seemed so… pleased about it. Had their kiss meant anything at all? Ymir felt like she was going to snap and all it would take was one little provocation and she’d throw a fist. Ymir eyed the crowd around her, waiting for someone to bump into her. It wasn’t healthy, feeling that way, but her emotions were all over the place. Violence had always seemed to be her coping mechanism when even drawing didn’t help.

“So you going to the amusement park with us? Mika and Con’ already said yes. I think they invited more people too.”

Ymir sucked in a breath. “Sure.” There was no way she’d stay home and leave Historia with those _males._ “Do you know Berik at all?”

Sasha shook her head. “Nope. Heard he’s an asshole, though. Of course he’d be the first to ask Historia out. I’ve heard this entire school babble on about how the goddess is single and available. Don’t they even consider that maybe Historia isn’t interested in them? That maybe her heart is already taken?”

Ymir paused. “Taken? Did Historia tell you that?” She suddenly felt sick all over again.

Sasha’s eyes widened. “Ah, poop. Uh, no not really. I’m just saying dumb things, don’t mind me.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “You just said that Historia’s heart is taken. Is she seeing someone?”

Sasha shrank back. “I wouldn’t say seeing someone, more like interested in someone…” she backed away slowly, palms out. “But I can’t tell you more. I have no confirmation.”

Ymir’s fists clenched. She opened her mouth to demand more answers, almost blinded by a sudden, intense rage, but felt a strong hand on her shoulder and whirled around. Nanaba’s hard blue eyes made her pause.

“Ymir,” she spoke evenly. “I would like a word with you.”

Ymir turned to say something to Sasha, but found that the little shit had disappeared. Cursing, she shrugged out of Nanaba’s grip and then turned back to her. “Sure thing,” she growled lowly. “Let’s go somewhere less crowded.”

Nanaba nodded and led her to the rugby field, close to the changing room. When they rounded the building and were out of sight, Ymir tensed her muscles and waited for a punch or anything, but it didn’t come. Nanaba merely turned and fixed her with a stare.

“This is about Historia, right?” Ymir snarled. “What do you want from me?”

Nanaba stayed silent for a long while. Finally she uncrossed her arms and sighed. “Is she happy?”

Ymir was thrown by the calm question. Deflating, she shoved her fists into her pockets. “What do you mean?”

“She’s been hanging out with you, right?” Ymir nodded. “Is she happy?”

Ymir shrugged. “I guess.”

“Are you treating her well?”

Ymir glared. “Why the hell do you care?”

Suddenly Nanaba shot out and slammed Ymir into the wall. She lashed out and fisted the front of Nanaba’s shirt, preparing to shove her away, but paused. Nanaba looked sad, not angry. “Because I love her,” she growled. “And I let her go because she was never happy with me. So I will ask you again. Are you treating her well, Ymir? Are you respecting her?”

Ymir swallowed. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I treat her well?”

Nanaba let her go, exhaling. “Okay. Good. I just needed to know.”

“Why’re you asking me? Why not ask her yourself?”

Nanaba eyed her. “Because, aren’t you two together?”

Ymir snorted. “No. We’re friends.”

“Oh?” Nanaba lifted a brow as if she didn’t believe that, and honestly, Ymir didn’t blame her. But she seemed content with the answers she had gotten. “Thanks for the chat.” She lightly patted Ymir’s chest. “Good luck, Ymir.” She turned to walk away, but paused. “Oh, and please be careful of Berik. He’s even worse than Reiner.” And then she walked off, standing a little straighter.

Ymir watched her go. When Nanaba disappeared out of the gate, Ymir set off in the same direction. A flash of blonde hair and worried blue eyes made her throat close up. Historia turned to look at her. Ymir swallowed.

_Love is such a pain._

XxX

Historia felt gross after accepting Berik’s invitation, but one more look at Ymir made her decision feel a little less vile. Why had she said yes? It certainly wasn’t for any interest in Berik. Historia didn’t know him, and the bit she had heard of him from Nanaba, she knew that she’d never be interested in someone like him. But he made Ymir jealous.

Historia had been surprised when Ymir had stood and shielded her, and then even more so when she detected jealousy in Ymir’s expression. Historia hadn’t missed Ymir’s shaking, clenched fists. Maybe it was bad of her to enjoy it so much, but seeing more of jealous Ymir was too much to resist. Bless Sasha’s heart for interjecting the way she had. The only way Historia would ever go anywhere with someone like Berik, was if she was with her friends.

She sat beside Ymir in Titan Falls, watching her as she quietly sketched. Ymir needed to complete her task, so she had asked Historia to sit with her one more time, when they had met at the school gate. Ymir was really calm like this, with her tongue peeking out, her eyes slightly squinted. The veins in her wrist stood out starkly against her brown skin as she gripped the pencil.

“Do I have something on my face?” Ymir asked suddenly.

Historia blushed, looking away. “Um, no. I was just thinking that you look really… relaxed, when you draw.”

Ymir snorted. “I do?”

“Yeah?”

Ymir closed her book suddenly and wiped a hand over her face. Ever since the encounter with Berik, Ymir had been very grumpy. It made Historia feel really weird, because she hoped Ymir’s upset was due to jealousy, but it made her feel terrible to hope for something like that. It also didn’t help that instead of being across from each other, they were side by side. Historia could almost feel the heat of Ymir’s anger, and it made her lower belly hot with desire.

“Thanks for coming with me again,” Ymir said softly.

“It’s no hassle. Honestly, I love it here. I’d take any excuse to visit Titan Falls.”

Ymir nodded. Historia glanced down at her lips, remembering the feel of them, the weight of Ymir’s body on her own. She leaned in a little closer, biting down on her lip.

“So, you’re into Berik?” Ymir blurted.

 _Ah, there it is._ “Hmm, I don’t know.” She scooted a little closer until they were almost touching, encouraged by the edge in Ymir’s tone. She wouldn’t be upset if she didn’t feel _something._ Was her jealousy sparked by mutual attraction, by love? Or was it mere irritation? “I think this weekend will be fun, don’t you?” _And I definitely don’t plan on spending it with that asshole. This is all for you, Ymir._

Historia watched her face intently. The muscles at Ymir’s throat worked as she swallowed, and then she sat back, sighing. “With Sasha, of course it’ll be fun,” Ymir answered.

Historia nodded. She reached out and fiddled with a piece of paper from her straw, eyes focused on that. They were so close… Ymir seemed to lean a little closer, and then their shoulders were touching and suddenly Historia didn’t know how to breathe. She felt a light touch at her cheek, and lifted her face. Ymir swept a lock of hair behind her ear, and though her fingers didn’t shake, she was blushing.

“If he does anything to hurt you, I’ll kill him,” Ymir promised softly. She trailed her fingertips along Historia’s jaw, so slowly that it drew her in. Historia felt her heart flutter hard in her chest. Ymir’s eyes were burning her in their intensity, drawing her in and burning her. She found herself throwing caution to the wind and leaning forward, certain that they would kiss. Her eyes fluttered close just as their noses brushed, and her stomach tingled. Ymir inhaled sharply, cupped her cheek in her warm palm.

And then Ymir’s phone rang loudly, and Ymir jerked away from her, cursing. “Shit, it’s Ilse,” she muttered.

Historia sat back, cheeks flushed. Her heart was beating way too hard. They had almost kissed again. Ymir definitely wanted to. Should she confess now? Tell Ymir how she really felt?

Ymir ended the call, sighing. “Ilse is here early. I have to go.” She smiled apologetically. Apparently she wasn’t going to mention the almost kiss. She said her goodbye and headed out, and Historia watched her go with a frown.

 _This weekend,_ she told herself. _I’ll keep it to myself until this weekend. Then I’ll tell Ymir how I feel. I’ll be honest with my feelings._

Surely the week would take forever to go by.

XxX

Ilse was out, working an extra shift. Dinner had been pizza, though Ymir didn’t complain. She really loved pizza. But Ilse was out, and Ymir inevitably felt lonely. Ilse usually listened to her retelling of the day, let her vent out all her emotions. The day had been one hell of an emotional roller-coaster, and Ymir desperately needed to unload. First she had woken after dreaming about Historia, then Reiner had returned, then the fiasco with Berik, then the confrontation with Nanaba, and then finally, painfully, the almost kiss at Titan Falls.

Ymir lifted her hand and reached for the ceiling. The only upside to Ilse being out, was that Ymir would blast her music. Rumbling bass always had a way of soothing any worries she had. _Afraid_ by The Neighbourhood played heavily through her speakers, making her windows and cupboard doors rattled from the pure volume. It was more calming than anything else Ymir could do, which was usually punch something or draw. Neither appealed to her.

“ _Being me can only mean feeling scared to breathe. If you leave me then I’ll be afraid of everything that makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down, lets me face this, let me sleep. And when I wake up—when I wake up, when I wake up—let me be. When I wake up, I’m afraid somebody else might take my place.”_

Ymir scrubbed a hand over her face. “This weekend,” she told herself, though she couldn’t hear her own voice over the music. “I’ll tell her. Fuck Berik and everyone else. I’ll confess how I feel.”

Admitting it made her feel a little better. She closed her eyes and let the song soothe the rest of her worries. She clung desperately to the hope that somehow, Historia felt the same.


	33. Chapter 33

“I have terrible news,” Hanji announced first thing Tuesday morning. The class quieted down immediately. It being this close to finals, it didn’t take much for everyone to feel nervous. “The dance has been moved to a closer date.”

“How much closer?” a student asked loudly.

Hanji leaned against the corner of her desk. “This week,” she answered. The class erupted in angered yelling, but she lifted her hands and shouted for everyone to calm down. “Don’t get mad at _me._ Due to quite a few parents complaining, our principle decided that we should cut the project in half. The dance only needs to be a minimum of one minute. We’ll be doing it on Friday. We won’t be marking too strictly, so don’t stress too much. Just practise and get it done, alright? Now, there are some announcements from—”

Ymir tuned Hanji out. She was exhausted from waiting up for Ilse the night before. Sighing, Ymir pressed her forehead to her desk. It was smooth and cool against her skin. At least, she thought, the stupid dance would be over soon.

XxX

The week took forever to drag on. Their days passed as usual. Ymir would arrive at school, Historia would be waiting at the gate for her and then they would walk to the quad and meet Sasha there. Sasha usually had some epic tale to tell them, of either her siblings or Connie. During first break they relaxed, but second they practised the dance. After school they stayed to do more practicing, and then headed to Titan Falls to do homework and studying. Sasha tended to complain a lot, but she was a surprisingly studious studier. Once she got into it, Sasha didn’t even blink until she was done with a module.

By Friday they were confident about the dance. Though Historia seemed to still have her worries. It irritated Ymir, and she made sure to voice it. Their whole grade was waiting in the hall, before official classes started

“You’ll be fine, stop stressing,” Ymir muttered. “You’re annoying me.”

Historia clasped her hands together. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m just really nervous.”

“Stage fright?” Sasha asked. She draped herself over Historia’s shoulders and pressed their cheeks together. “It’ll be fine. Just focus on the music and it’ll be over before you know it.”

Historia audibly swallowed. She glanced to the side, and when Ymir followed her gaze, she caught Hitch and Mina staring at them. They looked away as soon as they noticed Ymir looking. Historia went silent and sad.

“I miss them sometimes,” Historia admitted.

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Why? They were shit to you.”

“Not always.” Historia straightened under Sasha’s weight. “I mean, yeah, both of them were pretty mean, but we had a lot of good moments.”

Sasha clicked her tongue. “You’ve got better friends now,” she assured. “And we’ll never make you feel small.” She sent Ymir a look. Ymir nodded.

“But if you want to hang out with them again, then do it. We won’t stop you.”

Historia shook her head. “They wouldn’t want to be my friend. Besides, I don’t think I could ignore their terrible attitude anymore.”

They stared at Hitch again. Reiner joined them with Berik and Annie at his heels. Out of all of them, Annie was the only one that sent Historia a small wave.

“Oh hey, so mega-nose isn’t such a jackass,” Ymir commented with an amused snort.

Historia lightly slapped her stomach. “Don’t be mean. Annie is just socially inept.”

“And scary,” Sasha added. “I heard that she goes to the same dojo as Mikasa. She put Mikasa on her ass in three seconds. Small people are frightening.”

Historia lifted a brow, waiting for Ymir to argue. But Sasha was right, so Ymir merely shrugged. _Historia_ could be frightening, and she was even smaller than Annie. Ymir still marvelled at Historia’s size.

The teachers of their grade finally entered the hall, sending most students into quieter chatter. Erwin, class C’s teacher, stepped up on stage and clapped his hands until everyone silenced and looked at him.

“Good morning, students,” he started. “Today we’ll be doing your dance assignment. We will start with class A and work down to class D. We only have an hour to assess all the dances, so please, no fooling around. Once you have been graded, please take your mark sheet from your register teacher and head back to class with your bag. Any students caught loitering around school grounds will be sent to the office. Any questions?”

There were none, so Mike stepped up called out for his first group, and the students clambered onto the stage to begin. The only cool thing about this was that they were using the hall’s speakers, which were fucking loud.

Class A’s first group danced to _Ghostride the Whip_ by Family Force 5. They were somehow great. Not too nervous, not too jerky, and they actually managed to stay in sync without looking at each other’s moves. They set the bar pretty high, so when they finished, the second group looked a little despondent.

Ymir watched them with boredom slowly creepy up on her. Not to mention that she was tired. She couldn’t seem to catch a full night of sleep, not when her heart and mind were plagued with thoughts and feelings of Historia, nothing but Historia.

Class A finished, and class B started off with Hitch’s group. It consisted of her, Mina, and another girl called Hanna. When Beyoncé’s _Ego_ started playing, Ymir couldn’t stop herself from snorting in amusement like a dork. Historia sent her a lifted brow, so Ymir shrugged.

“ _I got a big ego. Such a huge ego,_ ” Ymir mouthed along with the song, moving her hips. Historia rolled her eyes, so Ymir stopped and chuckled. “It suits them, is all,” she explained.

Historia huffed, but she grinned anyway, clearly amused. Ymir turned to Sasha. “Did you give them our song?” she asked.

Sasha nodded. “Yup. First thing.”

“Great. Know when we’re up?”

“Uh…” Sasha pulled a slip of paper out of her pocket. “We’re after group 3, actually.”

Hitch’s group finished, and group 2 scuttled onto stage. They all looked incredibly frightened and unsure of themselves, and when the music began to play, half of them forgot to dance. Their movements were robotic and all over the place, so when their minute was up, they hurried off of stage, faces red. Group 3 took their place on the stage.

Ymir felt Historia’s hand slide into her own and instinctively intertwined their fingers. Her heart leapt into her throat when she realized what she had done, and the fact that they were standing there holding hands. Historia’s was shaking.

“Ymir, I’m really nervous.”

Ymir inhaled sharply. “You’ll be fine.”

“What if I forget the moves? I’m a terrible dancer.”

Ymir gently squeezed her hand. “So what? It’s just a school dance. Relax, you’ve got us, His’.” She grinned. Historia’s eyes widened, and her lips parted slightly. Ymir’s confidence suddenly drained away at the expression on Historia’s face.

“His’?” she asked, brows furrowed.

Ymir flushed. “Um, yeah. A nickname? His’ as in short for Historia?”

The shaking against her palm suddenly melted away. “No one’s ever called me that,” Historia commented lightly. “I… really like it.”

It was possible that Ymir’s heart would stop before she even completed the dance. She stared at Historia, unsure what to say, mouth gaping like a fish. She forced her jaws shut and continued to stare. Historia tilted her head to the side, brows furrowed, but then Hanji called for their group and Sasha all but levitated onto stage. Historia’s grip tightened until it was painful.

“Oh god.”

Ymir’s heart fluttered. “His’,” she said softly. She waited for Historia’s eyes to meet hers. “You’ll do fine.”

Historia nodded. After a few more hesitant seconds, Historia finally released her hand and followed her up onto the stage. All eyes were on them—though most were on Ymir—and then their song began to play, and their bodies moved the way they had practised. Historia didn’t take a single wrong step. When the dance ended, the students clapped for them as they had for everyone, and then they hurried down the steps and towards Hanji to retrieve their papers.

“That was so fun!” Sasha exclaimed, beaming.

Ymir rolled her eyes. “It was a pain.”

“It was terrifying,” Historia admitted. She’d gone a little pale, but overall she seemed relieved.

Ymir glanced down at Historia’s small hand. She reached out, but paused and hesitated. Swallowing, she shoved her fears down and took Historia’s hand in her own. “You were great,” she breathed. Historia’s eyes filled with emotion. “Told you that you could do it.”

Historia tightened her grip, but didn’t seem at all concerned that they were holding hands again. “I guess you were right,” she beamed. “As always.”

Ymir snorted. “Damn right.”

Hanji grinned at them. “Well done, girls. Sasha, I didn’t know you danced so well.”

Sasha flushed at the praise. “Thank you, Miss Hanji.”

Hanji nodded. “Hop on to class. You don’t want Mike to sniff you in disappointment.”

Sasha laughed, but she threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for class, throwing a wink towards Ymir and Historia.

“Shall we head back as well?” Historia asked, smiling up at Ymir.

Ymir nodded. _This weekend,_ she told herself, eyes fixed on Historia’s smile. _This weekend I’ll tell her that I love her._


	34. Chapter 34

_The weekend_.

Saturday morning found Historia in front of her mirror, fussing with her long blonde hair and the perfect make-up she had taken great care to apply. Her clothes were a little….out of her style, but they were necessary for what she had planned.

Berik had texted her, asking if he could pick her up. Naturally Historia had declined and assured him that they would meet at Maria Park, so they had agreed to 10 a.m. and said goodnight. Historia hadn’t even been thinking of Berik at all, and while she stared at her reflection, she considered how irritating he was going to be. She wondered if Reiner would be there, too. Her heart suddenly ached.

During the entire week, Reiner had looked as though he wanted to talk to her, but he never approached. He just looked so sad. Though part of her still hated him for what he did to Ymir, there was a small part that remembered every laugh and every smile shared with him. It was so sad that she could cry, if she wasn’t so filled with happiness and acceptance from Ymir and Sasha. Maybe she could fix her friendship with Reiner one day, but that would certainly take a lot on his side.

Because nothing was as important as Ymir to Historia.

XxX

“His’ texted me that she’s ready,” Ymir announced. “Are we gonna go?”

Sasha grunted and shoved the last of the burger past her lips. She chewed loudly for a minute before finally swallowing—painfully—and then took a huge gulp of coke to help it slide down. Coughing, Sasha tossed the takeaway box at the back and then put the key in the ignition. “Right!” she yelled, rejuvenated. “Do we have her address in the GPS?”

Ymir eyed Sasha warily. “You swallowed half a burger in one go.”

“Yeah, so?”

“How in the hell did you do that?”

“I have a flexible throat,” Sasha explained. She reversed them out of the parking lot and then headed for the main road.

“What, does Mikasa have a huge dick or something? I only had like three nuggets and I feel sick after watching you.”

Sasha smirked. “You feel sick because we’re going to pick Historia up, and you have a bigger boner for her than Mikasa has for me.”

Ymir swallowed. “Do not.”

“You’ve been drumming on your knee for the past half hour.”

Ymir noticed that she was, in fact, drumming her fingers against her knee. She withdrew her hand immediately. “Look, I’m just anxious about that Berik asshole.”

Sasha hummed. “Sure thing, babe.”

“In 500 meters, take the next left,” their GPS droned out.

The both of them fell into silence as Sasha drove them up town, towards the more expensive houses and farther up to the mansions. Sasha had turned eighteen beginning of the year, and so she had gotten her driver’s license and her mother had bought her a car. Ymir was insanely jealous. She could drive, but she hadn’t gone for her diver’s yet. Ymir would make sure to do it before she headed off to get a job or study, or whatever she decided to do after school. There was only a few months left, so there wasn’t much time to actually think about it.

With the GPS faithfully guiding them, they made it to the Reiss estate. The actual mansion was far enough away that they had to lean forward to study its ancient looking design. The damn driveway up to the building went on forever. Ymir pulled her phone out and dialled Historia’s number. It rang once, and then a breathy voice answered.

“Ymir?”

Ymir’s heart climbed. “H-hey. We’re outside.”

“Oh, I’ll let you in! Just drive up to the entrance and I’ll run out.”

Ymir voiced her acknowledgement and ended the call. Seconds later the large gate swung open, allowing Sasha to drive in and take them up to the mansion.

“Dork,” Sasha muttered softly, grinning.

“Shut it,” Ymir growled at her.

“You were so totally humping her voice there.”

“How the fuck do you hump someone’s voice?”

“I don’t know,” Sasha said. “But you managed it. It’s actually really cute, seeing how flustered you two get over each other.”

Ymir glared at her until her words really sunk in. “Wait, she gets flustered around me?”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Of course you never noticed, you’re usually too busy looking down her shirt or at your feet.”

The temptation to swear was there, but Ymir held off and stared out the window. Historia appeared at the huge doorway and made her way down the stairs to the car. One look at her made Ymir’s mouth dry up and all moisture in her body travel south.

“Holy shit,” Sasha mumbled softly.

Both Ymir and Sasha stared, wide eyed.

Historia wore a short skirt. As in _short_ skirt. There was no doubt that if Historia bent over, her ass would peek out. She wore a leather jacket, but underneath that a tube top that read ‘ _Slippery When Wet’_ across her breasts, which were impossibly pushed up and squished together. They looked bigger than usual. Her midriff was bare, showing the hint of tight muscles.

Historia hurried over and climbed in the car, face red but smile wide. “Hey guys,” she greeted. “What’re you staring at?” The glint in her eyes made Ymir sure that Historia knew exactly what they were staring at.

Sasha reached out and manually shut Ymir’s mouth. “N-nothing,” Sasha sputtered. “Ready to have a day of fun at Maria Park?”

Historia crossed one leg over the other, bringing Ymir’s attention to the fact that her thighs were pale and smooth. Ymir stared before Sasha forced her head forward.

“Get a grip, man,” Sasha hissed.

Ymir grabbed a hold of Sasha’s hand, eyes wide. “Of her thighs, yes,” she whispered back.

Sasha laughed and started the car, and Ymir finally felt the haze of shock and desire leave her mind enough that she could face forward without her tongue lolling out. Honestly, she was almost an adult, not some horny teen. Ymir glanced in the mirror and caught Historia’s plump, red lips. _Oh god, I’m so a horny teen,_ she thought.

Berik better watch out. Ymir was going to sweep Historia off her feet if it was the last thing she did.

XxX

Historia fully enjoyed the gazes both Ymir and Sasha sent her after they left the Reiss property. If she was nervous about Ymir’s feelings before, she wasn’t now. Sure, it might mostly be physical attraction, but that was at least something, right? Ymir couldn’t seem to stop staring at her chest or her legs, and it made Historia insanely embarrassed and aroused at the same time.

Before heading down to Maria Park, they picked Mikasa up. With her was a boy who introduced himself as Eren, and his boyfriend, Armin. Historia immediately liked them, though Eren had quite a loud voice. Apparently he and Mikasa were childhood friends along with Armin, and they attended the same school. From there they went to pick Connie up.

“Sup my homies!” Connie yelled as soon as the car door flew open. “Holy crap, it’s packed in there.”

Historia pressed herself against the car door, and everyone scooted with her, but there still wasn’t enough space for all five of them to sit in the back.

“Well, Armin can sit on my lap,” Eren suggested, grinning devilishly when Armin blushed.

“I’m sure we can come up with something else,” Armin assured, though the waver in his voice led everyone to believe that he really didn’t mind having to sit on Eren’s lap. Historia resisted the urge to squeal at how cute they were.

“Actually, I have a great idea,” Sasha spoke up. She met eyes with Mikasa, and something silent passed between them, because Mikasa nodded and flashed a thumbs up. Historia lifted a brow. “We have lots of space up front. Historia can sit on Ymir’s lap.”

Ymir and Historia both sputtered at the same time.

“Great idea, bud!” Connie laughed. “Now scoot, Historia. I want to get in.”

Historia’s heartbeat increased, but she obeyed and climbed out of the car. Ymir opened the door for her, but they simply stared at each other, not sure how to proceed. In the meantime Connie climbed in, and he began a long and loud argument with Eren about something that concerned videogames.

Historia swallowed. “Um, how are we going to sit?”

Ymir clipped her seatbelt off and spread her legs. “Maybe sit at the edge between my legs?”

Historia nodded, so she carefully climbed in and situated herself on the car seat. It wasn’t a lot of support for her backside, so she had no choice but to grab hold of Ymir’s knees. Ymir slowly shut the door, and then she leaned back and Historia felt the warmth of her sigh against the back of her neck.

“Comfortable?” Ymir asked.

Historia shook her head. “Actually, no. My ass is going numb.”

Ymir made a strange noise in her throat. Historia was about to turn around and apologize, but then warmth covered her hips, and Ymir was lifting her up and onto her lap. Before she could protest, Ymir wound the seatbelt around them both, clipped it in, and then gently pulled Historia’s back against her front.

“Just for the next few minutes,” Ymir promised. “Is this better?”

Through Ymir’s t-shirt and button up, Historia could feel Ymir’s soft breasts. She was impossibly warm and it seeped through their clothing to bathe Historia’s already heated skin. She swallowed and nodded hurriedly. Sasha had apparently been observing, because she snorted and then started the car.

“Alright, gang, are we ready to have an entire day of awkwardness and sexual tension?” Sasha asked. The car remained silent. “Thought so.”

The force of the car moving made Historia’s body sink a little firmer against Ymir’s body. She couldn’t help that her muscles went rigid, and she clenched her fists tightly in her lap.

“Relax,” Ymir whispered right against her ear. “I can feel your tension.”

“Am I not too heavy?”

“It’s okay, really.”

“Are you sure?”

Ymir gently gripped her hips again, and Historia felt the ghost of a touch at the side of her throat. “Yes,” Ymir breathed.

Historia allowed herself to ease out of the tension, and then she sagged in relief. Ymir’s scent washed up and around her, filling every sense she had. Not only was her heat overpowering, but so was her smell, and the feel of her firm hands at Historia’s bare hips. Earlier she had regretted her choice in the top, but its length allowed for Ymir’s bare hands on her bare hips, so she thanked every god out there for the wonderful opportunity.

There was a chance that Historia would die of sensory overload before the day even began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno how but I'm somehow managing to update regularly. I estimate that this fic will end around chapter 50-ish. More or less. We have this arc, The Weekend, and then one more after this that I have planned, for stuff. I already know exactly how I'm ending this fic. I promise that next chapter finally has them at the actual park with actual stuff happening, lol. Thanks for reading so far!


	35. Chapter 35

Historia hated sitting on people’s laps. Often she was treated like a child thanks to her size, and being subject to sitting on someone’s lap only strengthened that feeling. But being on Ymir’s lap was a different thing entirely. Historia was sure that she was wetter than the ocean, and she was also hyperventilating so badly that when they parked at Maria Park, Ymir asked if she was okay. The tip of Ymir’s nose brushed against the side of her neck, only making Historia’s situation worse. Then Historia swore she felt the slightest hint of Ymir’s lips, and her blush intensified.

“F-fine,” Historia blurted out, opening the door as soon as Sasha announced that they had arrived. She mourned the loss of Ymir’s body underneath her, but putting a little distance between them seemed like a good idea. It gave her a second to breathe and collect herself.

Ymir climbed out the car, tall and dark and too attractive for words. She had a pair of skinny jeans on, emphasizing the fact that she was so fucking tall and _Jesus her legs are gorgeous even covered in the jeans_. She also wore another trademark shirt, with ‘ _Orgasm donor_ ’ in bolded font across the chest.

“Ready for a day at fun land?” Sasha shouted. She wrapped her arms around Mikasa and smiled happily when Mikasa’s hand slipped into one of her back pockets. Similarly, Eren took Armin’s hand, and then they all chorused half-hearted agreements and headed for the entrance to the park.

Historia glanced down at Ymir’s hand, wishing that they were at a place where she could take it. But they weren’t. It was still too early to confess, but Historia was determined that by the end of the day, Ymir would know how she really felt. In the meantime she had to deal with problem she had created for herself.

Berik.

They met him beyond the entrance after paying their fee, and conversations died down into awkward silence. As Historia had feared, Berik had brought a group of his own. With him was Reiner, Hitch, Mina and another girl that she didn’t recognize, but who bore a striking resemblance to Berik. When he noticed them, he brightened and waved at Historia only.

Historia clenched her fists tightly and pasted a sweet smile on her face. “Hi Berik,” she greeted. “I hope you didn’t wait long.”

His cheeks darkened slightly. “Nah, not that long.” His eyes flicked to her group and he frowned. “I see we’re quite the group today.” Historia didn’t miss the underlying anger in his tone.

A strong, intense feeling welled up inside of her, but before she could open her mouth and say something about it, Ymir pressed against her side. Suddenly Historia felt small and feeble, standing next to both Ymir and Berik who were both giants. Ymir was glaring fiercely at him, her hand at Historia’s lower back. The slight pressure of her fingertips made Historia’s skin warm.

“Touch her and I’ll kill you,” Ymir growled lowly at him.

“She accepted my invite,” Berik growled back. “So you back off, freak.”

Historia narrowed her eyes, heart suddenly thumping hard in anger. “Don’t—”

“Let’s eat!” Sasha suddenly shouted. She took a step back when all eyes flew to her. “I, um… I think we’re all just hungry, and that’s why we’re trying to pick fights. Right, _Historia?_ ” The way she emphasised Historia’s name had meaning. Historia tilted her head, gazing at Sasha in confusion, then it hit her and she sent a weary, grateful smile.

_If I scold him now, there’s no making Ymir insanely jealous._

She turned to Berik, still smiling so innocently. “Shall we get something to eat?”

Berik’s eyes left Ymir’s and his expression softened immediately. “Yeah,” he agreed.

So as a big, awkward group, they followed Sasha to the nearest food stall and ordered something to eat. Sasha took almost everything from the menu, as expected, though Connie was trying his best to beat her. Mikasa scolded them, making their half the group laugh in amusement. Berik’s group were otherwise miserable.

Historia could feel Hitch’s eyes on her, and it made her skin crawl. But worse, she could see the mystery girl eying Ymir, too. She was staring a little too intently. Ymir didn’t really seem to notice. She was busy arguing with Sasha over the merit of putting _every_ type of sauce on one hot dog. Feeling suddenly nervous, Historia tapped Berik’s arm and waited for him to look down at her.

“Who is the mystery girl?” she asked casually, eyes flicking to the female version of Berik.

“Oh, that’s Logan,” he said. “My twin sister.”

Historia nodded. “I thought she looked a lot like you.”

“Yeah.”

Historia stepped away from him to order something for herself, well aware that he was staring. She couldn’t stop glancing back at Logan, noticing every little glance and smile she sent Ymir’s way. When their food was ordered, they grabbed the largest table and settled down to eat. To Historia’s horror, Logan sat right at Ymir’s side. Historia ran like hell to steal the other seat.

“So, you a friend of my brother?” Logan asked, leaning in a little closer.

Ymir ignored her at first, but Logan didn’t say anything more and no one else commented. Eventually her eyes widened, and she turned to Logan in surprise. “I’m sorry, you’re talking to me?”

Instead of being annoyed, like Historia had hoped, Logan only seemed amused. “Yes, I’m talking to you. No one here is attractive enough to even talk to. Besides you, that is.”

Ymir’s brows furrowed. “Sure. Um, no. I don’t know Berik. I’m here with my friends.”

Logan nodded. She fell silent, so Ymir took a huge bite out of her hot dog and chewed quietly to herself. Historia felt jealousy burn deep in her gut. Panicked, she leaned a little closer and reached out to touch Ymir’s wrist.

“So how is your art coming along, Ymir?”

Ymir pulled the hot dog away from her face and swallowed loudly. Her eyes flicked down to Historia’s fingertips slowly caressing her skin. “Uh, fine, thanks.”

“We haven’t been to Titan Falls without doing school work in a while. Maybe we could go tomorrow? Just the two of us?”

Historia shot a look at Logan, pleased to see that she was glaring. Not only was Logan tall and dark and sinfully attractive, but her eyes were also insanely gorgeous and they made even Historia feel dull in comparison. They were a deep, dark green, flecked with green and brown. Logan’s perfect, plump lips pulled down in a frown.

“You do art?” Logan interjected, turning her chair so that she was fully facing Ymir.

Ymir set her hot dog down and dusted the crumbs off her palms. “Yep,” she answered plainly. She stood up and sent them both a glance. “I’m going to get something to drink. Do either of you want something?”

Historia and Logan opened their mouths, Historia about to offer to go with, but Sasha collided into Ymir’s side.

“Oh, me too! Let’s go, Ymir!”

She dragged Ymir off before they could say anything. With Ymir gone, Historia turned to give Logan a glare, and found one directed right back at her. They didn’t speak.

If Historia had fangs, they would have been bared.

XxX

Ymir hummed happily to herself as they waited in line by the food stall. Sasha was pretty quiet beside her, which was odd. For some reason Ymir felt really happy, and so she wrapped an arm around Sasha’s neck and pulled her in close.

“Spill it,” she commanded. “Something has that pea brain of yours worried.”

Sasha snorted. “Don’t put your pits in my face.”

“Stop putting your face in my pits.”

Sasha laughed and pulled away. “Okay, so did you not notice what was happening there, or are you as oblivious as I think?”

The line moved along slowly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that the tall hottie was totally flirting with you.”

“Well, yeah. I saw that.”

“And Historia was ready to kill her.”

Ymir paused as she was about to take another step forward. She fixed Sasha with a very serious stare. “Okay, are you being legit?”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “Dude, just look at them.”

Ymir did. She exhaled loudly at what she saw. Historia was glaring at the table, then at the girl next to her, then back at the table. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she looked so angry that it made Ymir a little frightened. Horny, but frightened. Holy shit, Historia was _jealous._

“Jesus,” Ymir muttered under her breath. “Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. So what are you going to do to take advantage of this?”

Ymir glanced over at the mystery girl. Honestly, it did nothing for her. But she had to admit that Sasha was right in this being something to take advantage of. When the girl noticed her staring, she sent a small wave and what she probably hoped was a smouldering look. Ymir lamely waved back.

“Man, tall girls are not my thing at all. And she’s darker than me. It’s like… dating myself.”

Sasha rolled her eyes. “You don’t need to fuck her after this, Ymir.”

“I know that, dumbass.”

“Just flirt back. Let her hang all over you. Be your cool, sexy self and drive Historia wild. Oh my god, do you think she’ll actually attack Tall Hottie? I’d pay to see that.”

Ymir rolled her eyes. They finally made it to the front of the line and bought bottled drinks. When Ymir returned to her table, the girl and Historia were glaring off in opposite directions. But as soon as she sat down, their gazes shifted. Ymir felt uncomfortable and excited at the same time.

 _Alright,_ _be cool,_ she told herself.

“I got a water for you,” she said, handing it over to the mystery girl. “I hope that’s okay.” She added a wink for effect, pleased when the girl flashed a smug grin.

“Perfect. Your name is Ymir, right? Mine’s Logan. I’m Berik’s twin.”

Ymir saw the opportunity and took it. “You must have gotten the good looks, then. You’re definitely the hot twin.”

Historia made an odd croaking noise, but Ymir resisted the urge to look at her. Logan’s smug grin intensified. “That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”

Ymir hated having to flirt, but one look at Historia and her stomach bottomed out in the best way. Historia was livid. Fucking _furious_. And it was hot as hell.

Ymir wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up. Sooner or later her real feelings would become too much and she’d blurt them out. Without a doubt.

XxX

As Sasha had predicted, so far the day had been nothing but awkwardness and sexual tension. It was really wearing Ymir thin. She had done her part, had mercilessly flirted with Logan, endured Logan’s underhanded comments about Historia and everyone else, how Logan thought she was god’s gift to all gay girls in existence, and how Ymir was so smart for recognizing her sexiness. Ymir would have throttled Logan hours ago, if Historia’s heated glares didn’t get her going the way they did. Historia stayed close to Berik, and while she had been friendly with him in the beginning, Ymir noticed that she began to ignore him, and then she went and joined Mikasa and Sasha, and refused to look at him again. Just seeing Historia at his side had made her seethe with anger and jealousy.

“So, are you single?” Logan drawled, both arms circling one of Ymir’s.

They had just gone on one of the rides, and Ymir was still a little woozy from the rollercoaster. She pulled her arm away, about done with the theatrics. “Nope,” she answered casually and stuffed her hands into her pockets. Her friendliness bled away until she was stoically looking forward, and she could feel Logan’s sudden confusion.

“Um, okay. Did I do something wrong?”

“Just not interested, thanks.”

Logan blinked. “Excuse me?”

Ymir paused and turned fully to stare Logan in the face. “I’ve been using you to make someone jealous. Honestly, I don’t even feel bad. You’re a bitch.” Logan went red in the face, so Ymir continued. “You being Berik’s other half totally makes sense. You’re like another version of him.”

Logan’s face filled with anger. “Say that again, bitch. Say it to my fucking face.”

Just like that, the curtain had dropped. Ymir had suspected that something like this would happen. Logan had been into her simply because she was physically attracted. And while that did please some part of Ymir that was a little egotistical, it still irritated her to the core. Once that chance for a quick fuck was gone, Logan’s colours changed. She was an ugly person, just like her brother. Ymir got up in Logan’s face, eyes narrowed.

“You heard me. I’m not interested. Thanks for your help, but you can run off back to your brother now.”

Had it been anyone else, Ymir would have felt bad for using her. But people like Logan were scum.

Logan was a little taller than her, but Ymir wasn’t afraid. When Logan grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her upwards with a hard, harsh tug, she merely stared openly into her face. “What, you think you’re hot shit?” she snarled. “I heard you’re a fucking foreigner. That you used to wet yourself as a kid when they beat you up. You think you’re too good for me, huh?”

Ymir bared her teeth in a grin. “I don’t think, I _know_ it.”

“You’re pathetic, _freak_.”

Ymir was ready to pull away and tell Logan to fuck off, but then a hand flashed between them and Logan’s head snapped to the side. The sound of skin against skin echoed in everyone’s ears. Logan stumbled over and crumbled to the ground. Berik ran to her immediately, shouting in anger.

“What the fuck?”

Historia pressed a hand against Ymir’s chest. “Don’t _ever_ talk to Ymir like that,” Historia growled down at her. “Or I will fucking destroy you.”

Ymir was only vaguely aware of someone going ‘ _oooh’_ behind them. She stared wide eyed at the open fury on Historia’s face. She could feel the way Historia’s hand trembled badly against her chest.

“Jesus, are you in love with her or something, you short bitch?” Logan snarled. “Berik, I’m out of here. Have fun with these idiots on your own.” She stood and left. Berik looked between her and Historia, but Historia only glared at him, so he rolled his eyes and hurried after his sister.

Hitch, Mina and Reiner were all observing from a distance, and when Berik disappeared they took that as their cue to leave, too, and disappeared between stalls. Once they were gone, everyone shared amused glances.

“I was wondering when that would happen,” Connie finally commented.

“About time,” Mikasa muttered.

“Hells yeah!” Sasha bound forward, face flushed. “Historia, you are fucking fierce. Yas Queen!”

Historia flushed.

Ymir felt a deep and sudden rush of warmth and affection. Without being able to stop it, she surged forward, pulling Historia against her, and kissed her. Historia gasped softly in surprise, and then she melted into the kiss and Ymir felt their hands clasp together and fingers intertwine. They kissed for a long moment, lost together and in each other. When they pulled away, they were alone.

Ymir sucked in short, even breaths. “I think we need to talk,” she admitted softly.

Historia nodded. “I think so too. There’s something I want to tell you.” She pulled away, and then she was leading Ymir toward the Ferris wheel. Her grip was firm, but her hand was shaking.

Ymir’s heart felt ready to explode.


	36. Chapter 36

They were holding hands. Ymir’s skin was impossibly warm against Historia’s palm and Ymir was shaking. Historia wasn’t any better off. They said nothing as they waited in line for the Ferris wheel, and when they finally climbed on and the rail was lowered, still they said nothing. The only indication of how Ymir was feeling was the slight tightening of her hand. Historia glanced at her. Outwardly Ymir looked calm and collected, but Historia felt the quivering of her fingers and the rushing pulse through her skin. Historia’s own heart pounded as well.

At last the Ferris wheel began moving, jostling them slightly before their weight balanced out. As the ground descended below them, Ymir’s free hand grabbed at the rail and turned white at the force of her grip. Her cool expression finally cracked.

“Are you okay?”

Ymir startled at her voice, paling. “What?”

“You’re holding really tightly.”

Ymir wrenched her hand back hastily. “Shit, sorry.”

“You’re not okay, are you?”

Ymir swallowed. She sat stiffly, back straight and eyes forward with both hands gripping the railing. For a long, painful second, Historia though that the fear on Ymir’s face was for the talk they were about to have. But then they swayed slightly and Ymir’s face completely drained of colour, and Historia clicked.

“Oh my god, you’re afraid of heights.” When Ymir said nothing, Historia reached out and took her hands. “Ymir, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t know,” Ymir agreed quietly. “So don’t apologize. Are we going to, you know…?” She bit down on her lip. “Talk?”

Historia stared at her face. “Can we do something else first?”

Distracted from her fear, Ymir’s head turned and their gazes met. For that small instant she seemed to forget where she was, and warmth settled in Historia’s tummy. “Like what?” Ymir asked.

Historia didn’t give her time to think. Leaning forward, she cupped Ymir’s cheek to bring her face lower, whispered “like this,” and then kissed her soundly. Ymir made a noise of surprise, but she enthusiastically leaned forward, hands leaving the railing to grasp Historia’s shoulders. The Ferris wheel went slowly, turning and lifting them up into the sky, though they were too occupied with each other to see the view. Historia didn’t mind. Ymir’s lips were intoxicating and all consuming. They brushed over hers with an odd roughness that was somehow still gentle. Her hands were big and warm, and they gripped onto her firmly, but not too hard. Historia wanted nothing more than to climb onto her lap and sink her teeth into Ymir’s lower lip, but their current surroundings didn’t allow for such freedom. Caressing the side of Ymir’s jaw, Historia pulled away and sighed softly against Ymir’s mouth.

“Now we can talk,” she said.

Ymir cleared her throat. “How am I expected to English after a kiss like that?”

Historia pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed. She would need to build the courage to look Ymir in the eyes. “You seem to be doing fine.”

“What does this mean, His’?” Ymir asked quietly.

Historia’s euphoria lifted slightly, allowing doubt and fear to seep in the cracks. Her heart thumped steadily and her hands were still pressed against Ymir. The urge to kiss her again, to stop this conversation and the seriousness sucking her happiness away, was there, but they needed to talk. _The weekend_ was here. It was time that Historia did as she had promised to herself. It was time that she confessed.

“Let’s play a game,” Historia started, avoiding the question for the moment. “While on this ride, we have to be absolutely honest with each other. We’ll take turns admitting something the other doesn’t know. Something important. Is that okay?”

Ymir nodded. “Sounds like a good way to procrastinate without avoiding the serious stuff.”

“Great. I’ll go first. Um…” She thought about it for a moment. Was it prudent to start off with the biggest confession that she was insanely in love with Ymir? Maybe not. Maybe she could save that for a little later. “I think your freckles are cute,” she finally admitted.

Ymir pulled away from her, but only far enough to stare into her eyes and lift a brow. “Good. They’re adorable.”

Historia rolled her eyes. “Loving the self-confidence there, ace.”

Ymir grinned. “I could drown in your blue eyes, Historia.” It was said with conviction and feeling, and a whole heap of confidence. Ymir’s hands were also still and she seemed to have completely forgotten about her fear of heights. This gave Historia courage of her own.

“I think you’re an amazing kisser,” she said. “Even though I’m still really sorry that I took your first kiss without asking.”

“I’m glad you were my first kiss.”

Historia’s heart skipped a beat. “That was the best kiss of my life.”

“I’ve thought about it every moment since then.”

“I’m really attracted to you.”

“You look really nice in that top.”

Historia took a breath. “I sleep in that shirt you lent to me.”

Ymir paused. Their succession of admissions stopped as Ymir stared at her, eyebrow raised. “Seriously?” She didn’t sound disgusted and she wasn’t judging, but Historia felt like a creep all the same. She turned away and finally looked over at the horizon.

“I… your smell drives me crazy. I haven’t washed your shirt. You probably wondered why I never gave it back to you. Truth is, I slept with it like a teddy. I sound like a massive, pervy creep, but it’s the truth. Your smell relaxes me. It helped me sleep when all I wanted to do was cry.” Ymir was silent, so she carried on. “I felt really weird about it in the beginning, especially when I thought you really hated me. But then my feelings started to really develop, and my not knowing how you felt made me seek that comfort.”

“What are you saying?”

Historia shut her eyes tightly. “I’m in love with you,” she blurted. Finally. The words tingled on her lips, but they felt nice on her ears. Historia’s stomach clenched tightly and she felt the overwhelming urge to puke. When Ymir didn’t say anything for a long while, she was sure that she had just ruined the mood and that Ymir would bolt the second they were on the ground. But she finally opened her eyes and she caught Ymir staring at her. The look on her face could only be described as tender.

XxX

“You’re in love with me?” Ymir asked softly, tenderly, so afraid was she that in a moment she would jerk awake in her dark room, woken from a wondrous dream in the middle of the night. But Historia was there, wide eyes staring at her in uncertainty, in fear and expectance. She nodded, sending Ymir’s heart into a wild summersault.

“Is… are you okay with that?”

God, she was so adorable. How on earth hadn’t Historia realized that Ymir felt the same? _I want to marry her,_ Ymir thought. _I want to make her mine and be hers, and spend the rest of my life with her._ The thoughts were intense and vivid, filling her mouth and ears and eyes and heart. Taking Historia’s hand in her own, she pulled her closer until there was no space between them.

“Marry me,” she blurted breathily.

Historia’s eyes widened. “Y-Ymir? Really?”

Ymir blushed wildly. “Jesus. That was meant to be a thought. Shit.”

“You thought about wanting to marry me?”

“Fuck yes. Historia I…” She sucked in a deep, heavy breath. “I fucking love you, Historia. So much that my heart burns.” She lifted Historia’s hand and pressed it against the spot just above her heart. “Can you feel that?”

Historia stared down at their hands. “It’s beating so hard.”

“I might have a heart attack.”

“Please don’t. I need you.”

Ymir chuckled. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“So what does this mean? We love each other. What now?”

Ymir scooted closer, brushing the tips of their noses. “Now we stop talking.” She commanded firmly. “And you let me kiss you.”

Historia flushed scarlet. “Oh? But what if _I_ kiss you first?”

Ymir’s grin was all teeth and all kinds of cocky. “Then we see who kisses who first.”

“If I win?”

Ymir thought about it, brows connected. “Then…”

“Then you’re my girlfriend.”

“Fine. And if I win…” She grinned a little wider, leaning in so close that for a second their lips brushed. “You’ll marry me.”

Historia sucked in a breath and Ymir’s stomach tightened up, and then they were kissing and grasping at each other, all teeth and lips and tongue. She didn’t know who won and who lost. The moment both went on for eternity and ended too quickly. They were only pulled apart when a throat cleared and they were told to get off the ride and find a room. Flushing, Ymir grabbed Historia’s hand and led her away from the Ferris wheel. Desperate, she looked for somewhere a little more private and spotted a space between two stalls. Ymir made sure no one was around, and then she guided Historia there and pressed her up against the nearest wall, lips moving to her throat.

“Say it again,” she requested hotly.

“What?”

“That you love me,”

“I love you, Ymir.”

Ymir’s entire body shuddered. Nothing had ever sounded so beautiful to her. “I love you too.”

Historia sighed. “Kiss me again, please?”

Ymir straightened to her full height, smirking. “And if I refuse?”

Historia tilted her head to the side, smiling sweetly. The look in her eyes made every warning bell in Ymir’s head chime. For a second she was utterly terrified, but she started laughing, amused that someone so small could make her feel _so much._ She ached for Historia in a way that she had never ached for someone before, _anyone._ Historia could probably break her in half—both emotionally and physically.

Ymir’s laughter dried up and a small smile lingered on her lips. Historia was smiling at her tenderly too, so they stared at each other, no other words needed. Ymir felt close to tears from the force of her emotions. Her heart was full and heavy and warm, and her skin tingled and sparked. Historia was small but so warm, and Ymir wanted nothing more than to sink down and bury in that warmth, let it wrap around her and never let her go.

“So the short bitch _is_ in love with you,” a voice growled. “And big surprise, you’re in love with her too!”

Ymir stiffened. She whipped around to see Logan and Berik at the small alleyway entrance, glaring daggers at them. Berik’s face was red and his eyes were in Historia, who was still in Ymir’s arms.

“Seriously?” Berik snarled. “That bitch and not me? Why the fuck did you even agree to come here with me then? Was this a joke to you?”

Logan rolled her eyes. “Berik, she used you like Ymir used me. To fucking make each other jealous. God, it makes me sick.” Her eyes narrowed. “But you were right, Ymir. I am my brother’s other half. And have you heard what they say about him?”

Ymir’s instincts told her that things were turning bad. Very bad. She pulled Historia behind her, heart thundering. She didn’t say anything and glared, hoping that they would merely throw words at them and then leave. Like this, in their position, they were cornered.

“Not going to answer?” Logan taunted. “Then I guess I’ll just tell you.” Berik stared at Logan, grinning wide. His eyes filled with anger and spite. “He’s a murderous bastard, especially with people that fuck him over. They say he’s a beast. And I think I’m not too far off.”

When Logan cracked her knuckles, Ymir knew that this would be a fight. It wasn’t like her usual ones, back at her old school. No, there nothing had been on the line besides her own amusement and anger. Now, however, Historia was there. Logan’s hateful gaze rested solely on her, and Berik’s was on Ymir. Ymir could take them without fear, but one of them would go for Historia, and that was something Ymir would not allow.

“Well,” Ymir finally spoke up. She shrugged out of her button up and tossed it onto the ground, exposing her arms and shoulders. She spread her feet, hands lifted to her face in loose fists. “Then I guess I should remind you what I said, too.” Her eyes flicked to Berik. Anger flared up inside of her. “You hurt Historia, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

It was all the fuel they needed. Faces filled with bloodlust, the twins converged on them. Ymir’s muscles tensed and she prepared. She only hoped that she could create an opening for Historia to run.


	37. Chapter 37

_Run._

Every cell in Historia’s body screamed for her to find a way to squeeze through and run as Berik and his twin ran forward. Her heart leapt up into her throat and her stomach churned painfully, but then Ymir launched forward and yelled out to her.

“Run!”

Ymir slammed them both into the side of the stall, her chest at Berik’s and her fist wrapped around the front of Logan’s shirt. Logan only had eyes for her, though, and scratched at her fist. Berik struggled greatly. He was so big and beefy, and Historia knew that Ymir couldn’t hold him down for long. They pathway was open for her to run. All she needed to do was convince her feet to move.

But she didn’t. Instead she took a few steps back and gazed into Ymir’s eyes, hoping that Ymir understood what she was trying to tell her. Ymir’s face contorted in displeasure, but there was trust and acknowledgement, so Ymir’s fist opened and Logan broke free. Berik took that opening and cracked his forehead against Ymir’s, and then Logan blocked the view and all Historia could see was her angry eyes and the snarl at her lips.

“You should have run when you had the chance, blondie,” she growled.

“Why?” Historia shot back. The jacket was heavy on her, so she quickly discarded it and stared Logan down. She copied Ymir’s stance from earlier, feet spread, fists up and loosened. “Scared I’ll kick your ass?”

Logan laughed. A deep belly laugh that had her head thrown back. Historia’s eyes narrowed to slits. Clearly Logan didn’t see her as a threat at all. Historia wasn’t above fighting dirty, though. While Logan laughed, Historia surged forward and went for a jab at her throat. It send Logan down, coughing and wheezing. Historia aimed a kick at her ribs, but Logan was quicker and grabbed hold of her leg. It only took one tug for Historia to topple over. And then Logan was upon her, face red and filled with anger.

“I’ll get you for that,” she spat. “I’ll break your pretty little face.”

Historia tried to squirm free, but Logan settled on top of her, trapping her there with the sheer size and weight of her larger body. All she could do was lift her arms and protect her face from Logan’s fists. They were hard and fierce, striking her so hard that her arms shook and throbbed. Historia felt the urge to cry out in pain, but bit deeply into her lip until she tasted blood. Somewhere she could hear Ymir yelling her name, but it was drowned out by the pain. Logan paused and forced her arms away, pinning them above her head with one hand. Historia closed her eyes and the first punch landed on her cheek. The pain was more than she had expected, breaking her resolve and making her cry out loudly.

“Take that, bitch,” Logan roared atop her, laughing manically.

Historia’s lip split open, leaking blood down her chin, and at some point she must have bit her own tongue. She could feel blood at her brow too, and knew that Logan must have cut her there. Blood seeped into her left eye, making the whole situation worse for her. But she waited, took every hit as they came, and then when Logan paused to inspect her own bloody, torn hands, Historia used every muscle in her body, and lifted her hips.

Logan lifted, caught with her guard down, and didn’t react in time to stop Historia from lashing out and sinking a fist into her mouth. Logan cried out and tumbled over, and then Historia stood and dusted the sand from her pants. Logan scrambled up onto her feet immediately, wiping blood from her lip. She roared like an animal and rushed forward, slamming Historia into the stall behind them. Historia wound her arms around Logan’s neck. It probably looked like an intimate hold, but Historia squeezed tightly and lifted her fist to pound it against Logan’s ear and the side of her face.

“Who’s a bitch now, huh?” Historia taunted.

Logan lifted her clean off her feet, sending a fist into her side. Pain flared up and caused Historia’s vision to swim. She managed to gather herself in time to realize that Logan was about to throw her to the ground. Gritting her teeth, Historia slackened her body and then grabbed onto Logan’s arm for dear life. Gravity did its thing and took them both down, but Logan’s shoulder slammed into Historia’s chest and the breath left her. Logan grabbed for her throat with both hands and started to squeeze.

Historia remembered when she had seen Ymir in this position. If Ymir couldn’t get out of it, how was she supposed to? Logan was bleeding and enraged, and her grip was so tight that Historia was terrified her neck would break. She couldn’t breathe at all. Couldn’t move her body for Logan pinned her down. Panic and anger rose within her, peaked and filled her with adrenalin. She scratched out with one hand for a stone, anything, and felt a clump of dried sand. Grunting, she threw the sand into Logan’s face. Logan screamed and Historia rolled away when she was freed, gasping. The air was sweet on her burning lungs, and the fuzzy edges at the corner of her eyes faded away. It took a second to regain her bearings, and then she yelled and did a swinging kick that connected with Logan’s jaw and sent her sprawling, skull cracking hard against the ground. It was enough to wipe her out, and Logan lay still.

Historia glanced up in time to see Ymir fall with Berik at her back, a thick arm around her neck. She was near purple in the face. Heart pounding. Historia raced forward. She was goddamn ready for this fight to end.

XxX

Ymir saw them coming at her and her blood pumped in excitement. It had been too long since she had felt so excited for a fight. But Historia was there, and she had to remind herself not to have fun until Historia was safe. She was very lucky that Logan had been going for Historia and not paying her any mind. It gave her the opportunity to fist a handful of her shirt and power her to the side as Ymir’s body slammed into Berik’s. It was painful and Berik stank of sweat, but Ymir strained hard and kept them there. She sent Historia a glance.

“Run!” she shouted.

Historia stared at her for a moment and then she took a step back, and Ymir knew. She understood the look and the tremble at Historia’s lip. With great reluctance, she let Logan slip from her grip, trusting that Historia knew what she was doing and that she had what it took to take Logan on. In her moment of worry for Historia, Berik smashed his head into hers and sent her stumbling back. His fist cracked across her temple afterwards, but she stayed on her feet and swayed. Ymir forced her eyes open in time to catch his swinging fist, and then she threw his arm away and kneed him arm in the stomach. He gasped out, but grabbed hold of her leg before she could pull it away, and threw her into the stall. Pain seared through her, but she powered through it and ducked as Berik’s fist dented the metal where her head had been. She scrambled to her feet and twisted around, dancing on her feet, fists up.

She glanced at Historia, saw her down with Logan atop her, and called her name. But Historia didn’t hear her, and Berik was closing in. She gave him a hard stare.

“Come at me,” she told him calmly. “Let’s get this over with. I’m going to bang your girl later.” She hated having to speak about Historia like that, but the taunt worked and Berik’s face pulled in absolute rage. His muscles bulged out and the veins at his neck throbbed. When he went for her again, she was ready.

He tried to tackled her, but she step out of the way and kicked the back of his knees, making him stumbled forward and smack his face into the stall. He was like an animal, though, and merely swung back onto his feet for another lunge. He added fists this time, but Ymir easily smacked them away, and then she crabbed the back of his shirt and powered him down to the ground. He didn’t expect the move and fell easily. When she was on top of him, she used her knee to keep him down and then she started punching him hard, wincing as the skin at her knuckles split and bled. She felt his blood and hers, and forced herself to breathe calmly even as her heart pumped and she yelled out savagely. His eye, his cheek, his temple, his jaw, his neck—she hit it all. Red clouded her eyes, driving her into a wild rage.

Berik caught her next fist and flipped them over with sheer strength, and when Ymir was on her back, he returned the favour. Ymir knew that he would definitely break her skull. His first punch broke her nose, and the next split the top of her lip. Any more and she’d be out. Desperate, Ymir pulled her leg free and then set her foot against his chest, and kicked him back. Berik flew backwards into the stall, grunting when he slammed into it. Ymir wobbled onto her feet, but Berik’s punches had really rattled her brain, and she wasn’t fast enough to evade him again. His arm closed around her throat and she went down on her knees. His hold tightened, her airflow cut off, and then she was left gasping and clutching at his arm. She could feel the pressure in her face, the burning in her lungs, and felt the edges of black creep into her vision.

“Take this, assface!” Historia screamed suddenly, and then Berik jerked, cried out in pain and Ymir dug her elbow into his stomach. His arm left her immediately and he fell over, clutching his balls, tears leaking from his eyes.

Ymir saw Logan lying face down in the dirt, but she wasn’t given much time to admire the sight. Historia grabbed her hand, and then they were running into the crowd and through stalls until they reached the parking lot. They stopped and collapsed at Sasha’s car, gasping in both pain and exertion.

“You’re bleeding.”

Historia came forward and gently took her face in her hands. She inspected Ymir’s wounds, but there were many.

“You too,” Ymir pointed out. “Your lip looks pretty bad. And your face.”

“Got my ass kicked, yes,” Historia agreed. Despite what a bloody mess she was, she smiled. There was some blood on her teeth, too, but it was still a beautiful smile. “I snagged our clothes,” Historia said, lifting Ymir’s button up.

Ymir grabbed it and immediately dabbed at Historia’s chin, where most of the blood still leaked. They both remained quiet as Ymir wiped off the blood on her face. “Got some in your eye,” Ymir pointed out. “Can you see?”

Historia shrugged. “That eye is a little red hued, but I’ll be fine.”

“His’, your ribs.” Ymir reached down and gently prodded at the large bruise at Historia’s ribs. Historia winced, so she withdrew and apologised. “You managed to knock her out though. That was cool. And thanks for kicking Berik in the balls.”

Historia grinned mischievously. “It was my utmost pleasure. You really know how to fight.”

“Lots of practise.”

“I could tell.”

“What about you?” Ymir asked. “How’d you fight Logan?”

“What?” Historia lifted a brow. She took the shirt from Ymir’s hand. “Think I’m too small, huh? May I?” She indicated at Ymir’s bloody wounds, so Ymir nodded and she returned the favour by dabbing up the blood.

“Well, yeah.”

“I don’t know. I just… did what I thought you’d do. I thought Logan was going to kill me, though. She had me in a choke.”

Ymir swallowed. “Historia, you could have run.”

“But I didn’t.”

Ymir felt the affection from earlier rush back. She gently pulled Historia’s hand away from her face and intertwined their fingers. The open scrapes on her fist burnt, but she ignored the pain. “Yeah, you didn’t. Thank you for fighting with me.”

Historia stepped into her, and they were flush against each other. “It was my duty, after all. As your girlfriend, I mean.”

Ymir lifted a brow. “Oh, so you won then, huh?”

“Actually, I think it’s a tie.”

Ymir grinned. “You know what that means?”

Historia leaned in until Ymir was sitting on the hood of the car, Historia right between her legs. Ymir released her hands and took hold of her hips, eyebrow raised, smirking.

“What does that mean?”

“That I’m your girlfriend,” Ymir answered. “And that we need to get married too.”

Historia laughed. “Are you serious about that?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay. Kiss me.”

Ymir obliged happily, leaning in for the sweetest kiss of her life. They were both definitely sore and still bleeding, and maybe their kiss tasted a little like blood too, and they really needed medical attention, but the moment was perfect and Ymir was happy. Content and happy.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Connie exclaimed.

They pulled away quickly, blushing despite how confident they both felt after winning that fight. “Berik and his twin,” Ymir answered.

“Whoa,” Connie said, lumbering closer to inspect them. “Historia, you’re all busted up!”

“Did Logan do this?” Mikasa asked heatedly, gently taking Historia’s face into her hands. “I’ll kill her.”

Ymir smirked at them. “Actually, His’ here knocked Logan out herself and kicked Berik in the balls for me.”

Eren was staring at them, eyes wide and filled with wonder. “Whoa. Someone so small took out someone so big?”

Historia playfully flexed her arms. “Hells yeah.”

Ymir laughed with them, pulling Historia away from Mikasa’s hands. “Take us home,” she told them. “Ilse can fix us up. That okay?”

Historia stared into her eyes. Ymir’s chest warmed. “Mm,” she hummed softly, nodding.

Sasha was almost vibrating with energy, eyes flitting between the two of them, but she said nothing as they climbed into the car. Mikasa took the front seat, so Ymir climbed in at the back and let Historia sit on her lap. She held onto her happily, chin resting on her shoulder.

“Okay, so are you dating now or what?” Sasha finally blurted, turning to send them a glance at the red light.

Ymir and Historia both grinned. “Yes,” they said together.

Sasha released a long breath. “’bout goddamn time.” She reached out and high fived Mikasa. “Well done.”

“Congrats,” Mikasa told them.

The rest started talking, asking questions and being loud. Ymir was happy to answer them and explain what had happened in great detail. Historia remained quiet against her chest, but Ymir knew she was smiling.

Their hands were intertwined.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoy the chapter. Have no fucking clue how I've managed to stick with these regular updates lmao

“Explain.”

Ilse leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed over her chest. It was getting dark outside, but Ilse didn’t seem very keen to let them in. Not until they gave her a suitable answer, though. But there was only one explanation, and Ymir knew that Ilse wouldn’t like it.

Ymir took a breath.

“We might have… like… maybe a little… had a fight.”

Ilse eyed them, unblinking. “With each other?”

Historia gasped loudly beside her, making Ymir snort on her laughter. She stopped immediately when Ilse glared. “God no,” she hurried. “With other people.”

Ilse nodded. “Alright. And clearly this dispute turned… physical.”

Ymir didn’t need the reminder. Her entire body hurt, and she had her shirt pressed up against her nose to prevent anymore bleeding. The drive back hadn’t taken that long, but she knew Ilse had to set her nose right before it was too late. She was definitely not looking forward to that.

“May I speak?” Historia spoke up timidly. Her hand tightened around Ymir’s, bringing Ilse’s attention to it. She showed no reaction, though, and merely nodded once. Ilse had one damn good poker face. “We… well, we had mutual enemies. Jerks, really. They had us cornered. Ymir told me to run, but I stayed instead. It was two against two. But as you can see, I’m pretty small.”

Ilse lifted a brow. “Did you kick their asses for Ymir?”

“And balls,” Ymir muttered.

Historia pressed a hand against her mouth, laughing softly. Ilse’s firm stare sobered her quickly. “Yes. I incapacitated my opponent and kicked Ymir’s in the balls. He won’t be procreating anytime soon.”

Ymir couldn’t help but poke Historia in the side, grinning. “He’ll be limping for days.”

“Good. I hope he does.”

“I hope rumours fly around school about him.” Ymir’s grin widened. “And you.”

Historia lifted a brow. “What, you want people to fear me?”

Ymir all but forgot that Ilse was there. “Another perk of being your girlfriend. Let them fear you too much to mess with me. I’m tired of breaking my nose. Speaking of which…” Ymir turned to Ilse, who had been silently watching their exchange. “I think I need urgent medical help.”

Historia raised her hand. “Me too, please. I think my side is really bruised.”

Ilse didn’t move an inch. She didn’t speak or change expression. Ymir feared the worst. That Ilse would finally snap and yell at her to get to her room, banishing Historia to wait outside for her own lift home. But Ilse eventually eased up, sighing in resignation. She moved away from the doorway to let them in.

“Quickly,” she said. “Let me look at that nose. And you,” she pointed at Historia, “go and grab two ice packs from the freezer. Now.”

Historia nodded and rushed away. She disappeared before Ymir could direct her to the kitchen, but she figured Historia would find it eventually. Instead of stepping away, Ilse moved closer and took Ymir’s face in her hands. Ymir lowered the bloody shirt.

“They really hurt you,” Ilse said softly. “Besides the obvious, how do you feel?”

Ymir inhaled shakily. “Like shit. I think I broke my ass. I’m gonna have bruises at my throat again. And my gorgeous face is a mess.”

Ilse rolled her eyes and released her. “At least your _girlfriend_ is as much of a mess as you. It’s a shame, since she’s so pretty.”

Ymir felt her stomach flutter. She knew Ilse mentioning it meant that she definitely wanted to talk about it, but her compliment of Historia’s looks also meant that she approved. Ymir nearly tripped as she followed Ilse to the bathroom, eyes glued to their joined hands. It reminded her of years back when Ilse would drag her to the bathroom to tend to her wounds. The Ymir of then had always fought back, but now she was grateful and eager to get rid of all the blood.

Ilse pushed her down onto the closed toilet lid, and then wasted no time in snapping Ymir’s nose right. Ymir roared in pain, but Ilse ignored it and pulled out her first aid kit.

“Ymir?!” Historia burst into the bathroom, eyes wide with concern. She held up the ice packs. “What happened?”

Ymir was leaning her head back, stopping the renewed blood flow from leaking all over her chest again. “Goddamnit,” she cursed softly. “ _Fitta j_ _åvla.”_

“Ymir! Language,” Ilse scolded.

Ymir sighed. “Sorry. I meant, fucking hell.”

Ilse strolled over and flicked Ymir’s ear, earning another cry of pain. But she pulled Ymir’s face down and started wiping off all the blood. “You don’t need any stitches, amazingly,” she said. “But your face is going to be all kinds of bruised. Historia, you said your side hurts?”

Historia nervously came over and lifted her shirt, showing a nasty looking bruise over her ribs. “Logan punched me here.” She pressed a finger to the exact spot. “I think something might be broken.”

Ilse left Ymir to inspect her ribs. Ymir watched, concern welling up inside of her. She hadn’t realized that Historia had been _this_ hurt. It was to be expected, though, considering how much bigger and stronger Logan was. But Historia had won that fight, and Ymir felt so proud. She reached out and took Historia’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“We showed them,” she said softly.

Historia smiled at her. “Hells yeah.”

The two of them started laughing. It was simply too funny. Ymir thought about how everything had led to this. How she had gone from despising Historia to desperately wanting her. How she now had her, and they were so perfectly matched that it was almost weird. Historia was watching her as their laughter eased off into pained winces, and then Ilse was examining the cut at Historia’s brow, dabbing the blood away and disinfecting it.

“This won’t need stitches either,” Ilse told her. “But that lip was badly split. That’ll hurt for a while. Try not to smile too widely. And you’re gonna have a huge bruise on your cheek. Do your parents know where you are?”

Historia thanked her softly and took an ice pack from her, pressing it against her cheek. “Uh, not really. They just know I went out and will be back.”

By Ilse’s frown Ymir knew that she wasn’t happy with that. “You should call them and let them know.”

“Well…” Historia looked at her feet. “My parents are…. They don’t really…” She seemed at a loss for words.

Ymir reached out and grabbed Ilse’s wrist. “Her folks are weird. They don’t care where she goes.”

Still frowning, Ilse shook her head. “Still. I would feel better if they knew where you are.”

“Okay. I’ll call them.”

Ymir gave Historia a look, but Historia smiled at her, and she knew that it was alright.

XxX

Historia felt her nerves act up as she pressed call and waited for someone to answer. It was her house number, since her parents rarely ever answered their phones last minute. Luckily it didn’t take long for someone to answer.

“Good day, this is the Reiss residence. How may I assist you?”

Historia sighed softly. “Hi Lucy. It’s Historia. Is my mother or father there?”

“Your father just returned from his recent business trip. Should I relay a message?”

Historia chewed on her lip for a moment, making Lucy wait on the line. She did so, though, without complaint or impatience. That was one thing Historia respected in her parents’ house staff. “Actually, could you send my call through to him? He’s in his office, right?”

Lucy didn’t hesitate. “Wait a moment.” There was a beep, and then the line rang again and Historia’s heart leapt into her throat when a familiar, deep voice touched her ears.

“Lod Reiss.”

Historia swallowed. “Dad… uh… it’s Historia.”

“Historia?” He sounded surprised. Historia caught the sound of his chair creaking. “Is something the matter that you’d call me on this line?”

“Well… no not really. Actually, uh… I’ll tell you about that when I get home.” She half expected him to roar at her to get to the point and stop wasting his time, but he didn’t say anything. He just waited for her to continue. “I went home with a friend after we left Maria Park. Is that okay?”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

Ilse moved closer suddenly, opening her palm for the phone. Historia stared at her, panicked, but caught Ymir’s calm gaze and swallowed lightly.

“Father, someone wants to talk to you.”

A pause. “Alright.”

She handed the phone over, stomach churning and twisting. Ymir pulled her closer and rubbed a hand along her arm, soothing the worst of her nerves.

“Hello. Is this Mr Reiss?” Ilse started, voice firm and controlled. She sounded completely different, and Historia knew that Ilse must have had experience dealing with difficult people over the phone. “Yes, she’s with me here. My younger sister is her friend. Uh, yes it’s Ymir. They got into a serious fight at the park, and Ymir brought them back to me. Yes. No they’re fine. Uh, name? No I’m not sure of who the kids were. Well, that’s alright. No, don’t worry, I’ll drop her off right now. Yes. My pleasure. Thank you for understanding, Mr Reiss. Good night.” She pulled the phone away and handed it back. “Let’s get you cleaned up and then I’ll take you home.”

Historia stored her phone. “Wh-what did he say?”

Ilse sighed. “Well, he sounded very stiff, but he was concerned. He mostly asked if you’re okay. And he wants to know who attacked you. I assume he’ll interrogate you about it when you get home.”

Ymir stood, glaring. “Why’d you tell her father like that?”

Despite their height difference, Ilse wasn’t intimidated at all. She fixed Ymir with a glare of her own, arms crossed over her chest. “As an adult, Ymir, it was my responsibility.”

“But—”

“Ymir, it’s okay,” Historia interrupted, smiling. “He won’t shout at me. I hope. I think he’ll definitely be calling the police, though.” She sighed, shoulders drooping. “He did this when he found out about Reiner, too. It was because of him that Reiner was suspended so long. If I didn’t beg him not to, he would have had Reiner sent to jail.”

Ymir’s eyes widened, making Historia feel a little worse about it. “Seriously? I just thought he was too messed up to come back to school.”

“Yeah, well, my father doesn’t take kindly to anyone hurting someone of the Reiss name.”

The conversation dropped there. Ilse retrieved some clean clothes for them, and left them to dress and wipe the last of the blood off and plaster up any bleeding cut or scrape. While they dressed, Historia couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Ymir’s back. She had freckles scattered over her shoulders. God, Historia loved freckles.

When they were ready, Ilse drove them to Historia’s house by her directions. They were silent on the way, Ymir staring off into the distance. Historia felt like she needed to say something, but couldn’t think of what. With every minute that went by, her stomach tightened until she felt too sick to breathe. Sure, she’d come to some kind of understanding with her parents, but they hadn’t changed their colours. Her father was a scary man. What if he was angry with her for getting into that fight, regardless of why it happened or the outcome? What if he really sent her to a boarding school, or grounded her? What if… what if… what if… Historia clutched at her skirt, hyperaware of her bared thighs. Luckily Ymir’s shirt that she had been given to wear covered most of her torso and down to just over her skirt.

“Historia?” Ymir asked softly, breaking Historia from her turmoil. “We’re here.”

Historia didn’t even remember hearing the intercom or the gate opening, but sure enough, they were parked in front of the mansion entrance. She swallowed thickly. “Well, I’ll be going then. Um, thank you for your help, Ilse. And Ymir…” She stared at her for a long while, so many things to say but not the nerve to say them, or the breath. Ymir seemed to know what she was trying to say, though, because she smiled and winked.

“See you tomorrow, short stuff.”

Historia grinned back, rolling her eyes. She climbed out of the car and watched as they drove away, heart thumping hard in anxiety. Eventually there was no more reason to stand out there, so she headed inside and waited for the ball to drop.

Her father wasn’t in the dining area or in the hallways, and the place was entirely empty and silent as she made her trek up to her bedroom. She showered, ate the food the maid brought up to her room, and settled down to work on some studying when she heard a soft, hesitant knock at her bedroom door. At first she assumed it was the staff, but they would usually announce themselves and then enter. Whoever knocked was waiting.

“You can come in,” Historia spoke, voice cracking.

Mr Reiss entered, face calm. He stood in the doorway, his huge figure taking up most of it. His eyes flicked over her form for a second, lingering on her badly bruised cheek, to the small scrape at her chin and the plaster at her brow. No doubt he could see the finger-like marks at her throat, too.

“Historia…” he started, clearing his throat. “I heard what had happened.”

Historia nodded. “I’m sorry, father.”

“No need to apologize, Historia. You didn’t start it.”

Historia pushed away from the desk to properly face her father, hands folded in her lap. “How do you know that?”

“Because,” he sighed, “you are not the sort to start needless fights. Did you win?”

Historia rubbed a hand over her sore ribs. “Doesn’t feel like it, but yes, I did.”

“What are their names?”

“Why do you need them?”

“To make sure they are punished accordingly.”

Historia frowned. “No offence, father, but how far will you go?”

His eyes narrowed. “As far as needed.” He looked away and ran a hand through his long blonde hair. It wasn’t tied up as usual, and his tie was undone. He looked unusually tired. “No one touches a Reiss and gets away with it unscathed.” A pause. “And no one touches my daughter and gets away with it.”

Warmth blossomed in Historia’s chest. Suddenly her father didn’t seem like a scary animal ready to bite her head off. He still looked like a bear, though. A bear with its teeth and claws. But it also looked fluffy and soft. Historia wanted to hug him, so she hugged herself instead.

“Logan and Berik van Zyl,” she finally answered. “They’re twins. Berik goes to my school. I don’t know about Logan, though.”

Mr Reiss nodded, a grin slowly forming on his lips. “Ah, the van Zyls. I know of them. I will make sure they are aware of the consequence for hurting my daughter. Do you require any medical assistance, Historia?”

Historia lifted her wrist, showing the bandage there and wiggling her fingers. “Ilse’s a nurse. She helped me out.”

“Are you sure?”

Historia couldn’t help but grin. “Positive.”

He nodded. They stared at each other for another moment, both not sure what to say next. When he started to retreat, Historia spoke up. “Father?” He paused. “Could you not tell mother about this? I trust you to get justice, but mother… she… she can be scary when she’s angry.”

Mr Reiss smiled. There was something like pride in his eyes. “Yes, she can be quite a handful.”

Historia mirrored his smile. “Exactly. She’ll behead them.”

Mr Reiss chuckled and nodded. “This will be between us only, then. Just don’t underestimate your mother’s ability to discover any kind of information that she wants. I will not bother you any further, Historia. Sleep well.”

Historia nodded and watched him leave. Despite the fact that she still hurt, and she was insanely nervous to show up at school so banged up, she felt good. Her father had been… pleasant with her. He had shown more concern in a handful of minutes than he had her whole life. It was both terrifying and electrifying.

Historia went to sleep with a huge grin on her face.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a horrible throat infection, so forgive the late update guys

“ _I can be tender. I can be a rough. I can do anything you care for, everything above. Baby let me rock your body, ride your body, kiss your favourite spot._ ” Ymir shut her eyes, head tilted back. “ _I just want it all, but no rush. So we can make love. Or we can just fuck. We can get romantic, dirty dancing, feel my hands until the sun comes up. We can make love. We can—we can just fuck._ ”

A light, warm touch at her wrist made Ymir’s eyes flutter open, and she stared down at Historia grinning up at her. Heart jumping, Ymir pulled her earphones out and paused the song. She still felt the beat in her blood, and so she didn’t hesitate to lean down and press a kiss to Historia’s lips. It was weird, feeling so comfortable doing something like that.

Historia didn’t resist. She pressed against Ymir’s body, hands lost in her hair, Ymir’s bottom lip caught between her teeth. When they pulled away, Historia was grinning. “Good morning,” Historia breathed

Ymir smirked. “Morning,” She studied Historia’s face. There was a definite bruise along her one cheek, spreading over her cheekbone to her temple, and the cut at her lip was bleeding slightly again. Ymir felt bad having forgotten about it, and reached out to gently caress the corner of her mouth with her thumb. “Forgot about your lip. Sorry.”

Historia grinned a little wider, making the bleeding worse. “Does it look like it bothers me?”

“Doesn’t seem so. Stop grinning like a weirdo.”

Historia laughed. “I’m just happy, alright.”

“We got our asses kicked this weekend.”

“Ah, yes.” Historia pressed a hand to her ribs, wincing. “Don’t remind me.”

Ymir eyed her hand. “How’d your folks react?”

“My father was actually really concerned. My mother, well, she doesn’t know yet. I’m not sure how she’ll react. I’ve never been in a fight like this before. When Reiner attacked me, she went ballistic and called every lawyer she knows to put him behind bars.”

Ymir snorted. “Mama bear on a mission.”

Historia rolled her eyes. “Or she was just hungry for blood. How are you feeling, though? Your throat looks sore.”

“Nah, I’m used to it.” Ymir nervously rubbed at the bruised skin of her throat. Her face still hurt, as well as her ass and her sides, too. Berik had really gotten a few good hits in. She wondered where the douche twins were, and if they would be making a dramatic reappearance anytime soon. Considering what Historia’s father was capable of, though, Ymir doubted they’d even be in school much longer. Not that she really cared. They got what they deserved, after all. She just wished that she’d gotten to punch that smug look off of Logan’s face. “At least I got the girl, right?”

An odd expression took Historia’s face. She narrowed her eyes, grinning. “Oh yeah, you’ve got Berik’s girl to bang, right?”

Ymir felt her face heat up before Historia laughed and took her hand. There was no use hiding her face, but she looked away anyway and pouted. “Shut up.”

“Oh come on, don’t wimp out on me now.”

Ymir pouted deeper. “Stop it or I won’t be your friend anymore.”

“I thought we were girlfriends, Ymir.”

Ymir shrugged. “We were friends first.”

Sighing, Historia squeezed her hand, but she was still smiling. “Alright, I’ll stop. But I won’t forget that.”

“Of course you won’t. And Jesus, stop smiling. You’re gonna bleed all over your chest.”

Historia pulled a tissue out of her pocket and held it against her lip as they headed into the school holding hands. Those in the area started staring, and before long there were heads popping around trees and building to watch them. Ymir wasn’t sure if it was the hand holding or the fact that they were both so roughed up, but apparently they were an interesting sight. Instead of shying away from it, though, Ymir held her head high and grinned like the tall shit she was. _Yeah that’s right,_ she thought, _this my girl, bitches._ She tugged Historia a little closer to her and didn’t miss the eye roll Historia sent her.

“Are you getting an attention boner?”

“What?” Ymir snorted. “His’, attention follows you wherever you go. I might as well get used to it.”

“Does not.”

Ymir spotted familiar blonde hair and felt her grin drop. “Point,” she muttered, inclining her head. When Historia followed her gaze, she stopped walking and furrowed her brows. Reiner made his way over to him. Someone bumped into his shoulder but kept walking on, not even stopping to apologize. Reiner nearly fell over, but he regained his balance and turned around to glare at the boy’s head. He turned back around and continued toward them.

“Reiner,” Ymir stated sourly.

“Hi,” Historia greeted.

Reiner eyed them both warily, from their linked hands to the bruises littering their battered faces. “I heard what happened,” he said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to stop them.”

Both Ymir and Historia’s eyes widened. “You’re sorry?” Ymir snorted. “Not too long ago we looked like this after _you_ attacked us.” Historia’s grip tightened.

“I _know_ ,” he growled. “Okay? I know. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. For then and for now.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for now,” Ymir snapped. “You didn’t go for us this time. It was Berik and his idiot sister. They should apologize, not you.”

Reiner stared at her, surprised. “I should have been there, though. I heard how Berik was talking and I just… I left.”

Ymir shrugged. “So what? You aren’t his babysitter.”

Reiner huffed. “Whatever. Look, he probably won’t be at school for a while, but be careful. Berik is an asshole.”

“Thank you Reiner,” Historia interjected quickly. “And thank you for apologizing. For before.”

Reiner nodded and then he turned and walked off. They watched him go for a long silent moment. Eventually Historia exhaled and they continued towards class.

“Okay, so maybe you’re right,” she said.

“Of course I am. I’m always right.”

Historia rolled her eyes. “I can tell this day will be interesting.”

XxX

“Your final project is due this Friday. I trust that you’ve done enough preparation and will have it done and on my desk on time. Does anyone have any questions?”

Ymir glanced around the class, tapping her pencil against her open sketchpad. No one raised their hands, so Rico nodded in satisfaction and returned to her desk. Ymir glanced down at her paper. She had a myriad of rough sketches, none of them quite done. She was very close to completing her drawing of Historia, but she felt like there was still something missing. It was that small piece that made her pause and stare at the familiar round face and full lips. Ymir smiled at Historia’s face, remembering how they had parted after the bell rang for first period. People were still staring at her, and more than once she had caught whispers about her. But she didn’t really care. Attention was something Ymir was accustomed to, what with usually being the odd one out. She was always too tall, too dark and too loud. Always too masculine and too sharp and too unamused.

“Ymir, do you have anything of substance to show me yet?”

Ymir startled slightly at her teacher’s voice. She cleared her throat and straightened in her chair. Rico stood beside her, staring expectantly at her sketches. “Uh, not quite yet.”

“May I look at these?”

Reluctantly Ymir handed her book over. She drummed her fingertips against the table as she waited, nervously, for Rico to comment. They were unfinished sketches. Imperfect. But they were of Historia, and that meant that they were a form of perfection on their own.

“Mm.” Rico gently set the book back down on the table. “You love her a great deal, don’t you?”

Ymir’s face filled with warmth. She could suddenly hear her own heart pounding. “I’m sorry?”

Rico chuckled. “You took great care with these. And rumours do travel around this school.” She patted Ymir’s shoulder, smirking. “I’m excited to see the end result. Carry on as you have been.”

Ymir watched Rico return to her desk, red in the face and quite flustered. It was a relief when the bell rang for first break, and she shoved her books into her bag to make a quick escape. Rico didn’t stop her again, though. Ymir hurried through the crowd of students until she made it to the quad. There, scanning the mass of bodies and leaning up on her toes, was Historia.

_You love her a great deal, don’t you?_

Ymir swallowed. She smiled and snuck her way through the crowd until she was behind Historia. Though her height could have given her away, Historia hadn’t seen her yet. She pressed against Historia from behind, arms winding around her waist. Historia tensed and sucked in a breath—probably to scream—but then Ymir spoke against her ear and she relaxed.

“Looking for someone?”

Historia exhaled a long breath. “Jesus, you scared me. I thought Logan came back for seconds.”

Ymir breathed out a chuckle. She stepped away and took Historia’s hand, leading her away from the growing crowd of onlookers and to where Sasha waited for them on the rugby field. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’d kick her ass, though, if she did.”

“Or _I’d_ kick her ass,” Historia countered. “Since I kinda did that already.”

“I’m the badass one here,” Ymir argued. “Let me retain some of that persona.”

Historia giggled. It was such a beautiful sound that it made Ymir’s stomach tingle and heart flutter. She grinned so widely that the bruises on her face ached. “This has certainly been an interesting day for me. You won’t guess what happened.”

Ymir thought about it for a moment. “People stared?”

“Yes, but that’s not it. Hitch greeted me in English class.”

Ymir’s brows lifted. “She didn’t even glance your way during register.”

“I know. Weird, right?”

“Mm. Just be careful.”

They found Sasha leaning against a tree, stuffing her face with chips and crunching very loudly. Chip crumbs littered her cheeks, chin and shirt, but she didn’t seem to mind very much. When she noticed them approaching, her eyes grew wide and she crumbled the chip packet in her fists.

“There they are, the power couple!” she yelled, grinning broadly. “I’ve been hearing the most interesting stories about you guys today.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and sat down on the ground. Historia joined her. She took out her lunchbox and started chewing on a sandwich. “Oh? Do share.”

Sasha plopped down beside them. “Some people are saying that you beat each other up. That you’re in a gang. Hell, someone even theorized that Historia beat you up.”

Ymir snorted. “Imagine that.”

“I don’t know, I think I could take you.” Historia leaned against her and lightly poked her ribs. “I took Logan, didn’t I?”

Ymir grinned. “I suppose.”

They went quiet as they ate, Historia leaning comfortable against Ymir’s side and Ymir’s arm around her waist. Sasha was absolutely silent, too, but she watched them. Eventually she shoved her own food aside—a feat on its own—and sighed.

“So you’re like, officially together now?” she asked. “Because you’re doing that whole gross couple thing.”

“Gross couple thing?” Ymir lifted a brow. “I do remember you being all over Mikasa.”

“Yeah but like, we’ve moved onto almost married territory.”

Historia and Ymir laughed. “Yes,” Historia answered. “We’re officially together.”

“Goddamn finally. Hey, are we going to Titan Falls after school? Mika and Connie wanna hang out again.”

“Sure. I actually need to work on my art project again, if that’s okay,” Ymir asked Historia.

“Fine by me.”

“Great.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence and continued eating. Ymir gazed across the field, chewing absently, and noticed Reiner sitting alone on the pavilion. For some reason she felt compelled to stare at him, so she did. He wasn’t doing anything strange, just sitting and eating. When he was done, he packed his lunchbox away and made his way down the pavilion. A group of guys rounding the corner, one of them smacking into his shoulder. Reiner spun and hit the ground, and the group of guys only turned to laugh at him. No one offered a hand and no one helped. Reiner climbed back onto his feet, dusted himself off and continued walking. Ymir noticed that people moved out of his way and people stared.

She stopped eating. Her apatite had vanished. Somehow, she suddenly felt sick. Reiner had gone from being a bully, to being bullied. She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that.


	40. Chapter 40

The attention wasn’t unusual nor did Historia really care, but the whispers got to her. Rumours could and did spread very quickly around the school. Some of them were quite nasty, while most were outrageous. Historia sat quietly in her last class, staring listlessly at her Consumer Studies textbook. They were supposed to read over the section for a short test, but she didn’t feel up to focusing. She could study later in her bedroom, since the mansion would be empty, probably. Or if her parents were home, they would awkwardly ask about her day and then shuffle off to do their business work or whatever they did when they were home. If they did anything at all. Historia sighed.

“Hey,” someone whispered behind her. “Hey, Historia.”

She turned, eyebrow raised. “Yes?”

It was a boy, brown haired and green eyed. Historia took a second to remember his name. “Yeah, Simon?”

Simon flushed suddenly at the use of his name. “You know my name?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

Historia tapped the back of her chair with her fingers. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh yeah!” He blushed brightly. This wasn’t unusual, too. Boys and girls alike usually fawned for her attention, and in the past Historia had secretly enjoyed it, but ever since Ymir had re-entered her life, no one else had ever grabbed her attention. No one could like Ymir did. She wasn’t even bisexual anymore. She was… Ymirsexual. _God, that sounds so dumb,_ she thought. “I was wondering, um, if you don’t mind me asking…” he trailed off, cheeks so pink Historia felt too warm just looking at them.

“Go on,” she encouraged, curious. “Ask whatever you want.”

“Are you really dating that foreign girl?”

Historia nodded. “Her name is Ymir, not foreign girl.”

“Of course!” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry. Just. We were all pretty surprised to hear that you started dating again. Honestly, we thought Nanaba was your endgame.”

Hearing the name sent a spike of pain through Historia’s chest, and she instinctually flicked her eyes to the back of class, where Nanaba sat still at her desk. She was staring out of the window, a faraway look on her face. More than anything Historia wanted to say something to her. Anything. They hadn’t spoken once since the breakup. Was Nanaba still hurt? Still hung up on her? Historia hoped that she had moved on. Nanaba deserved so much more.

“… so we were all thinking, you know, that you can always come to us if you need to,” Simon finished, apparently having spoken a great deal before Historia remembered that he was there. Historia furrowed her brows.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“If she hurts you,” he responded. “Ymir, I mean. The guys and I want you to know that if she is doing, or ever does something, to force you into anything… we’d kick her ass.”

Historia’s anger flared up fiercely. Her expression followed, cheeks puffing up, eyes blazing. She stood abruptly and stared down at him. “I can deal with her fine, thank you very much. This is _my_ relationship and if we have any issues, _I_ will deal with them. Ymir is amazing. This is none of your business, so I’d appreciate it if you and the rest of this goddamn town to stop prying.”

Simon’s mouth gaped open like a fish. Historia realized that he was well accustomed to the docile, kind ‘Krista’. He hadn’t seen Historia yet. She relished the shock on his face, his speechlessness at her verbal rebuke. She wished Ymir had been there to see this. Historia could almost hear Ymir’s snort of amusement.

“Historia, is he bothering you?”

Historia’s anger drained away in an instant. Her blood went cold, and when she looked up to meet Nanaba’s concerned gaze, her heart stuttered. Now she was the speechless one. Simon wisely scuttled off to his group somewhere else in the class, leaving the two of them alone. Nanaba watched him with a glare.

“I handled it,” she finally blurted. “But thank you.”

Nanaba nodded. “I saw you yelling at him. Thought you needed help. But I suppose _Historia_ can stand up for herself now, huh?” She smiled. It was beautiful, but so sad. Historia was suddenly reminded of why she had been so attracted to Nanaba in the beginning. Though the romance and the lust was all gone, she still cared. A hell of a lot. Without realizing it, she reached out and took Nanaba’s hand.

“I’ve learnt to stand in my own shoes.”

“Those are pretty shoes, then.”

Historia smiled slightly and looked down at their feet. Her throat felt swollen and tight, as did her chest. Her emotions swirled around in a huge mess and she began to quiver, and some part of her desperately wished Ymir was there to embrace her and take all her fear away. Nanaba’s hand tightened.

“Are you okay?”

Historia squeezed her eyes shut. “How have you been, since… you know?”

Nanaba’s hand slipped from her own. “I’ve been alright. Still a little depressed sometimes, you know? But I’m okay. How about you? Are the rumours true?” Her smile was still small, but it was genuine.

“Depends on the rumour, but I’m… really happy.” She felt terrible for saying it, but it was the truth.

Nanaba’s smile widened. “Good. I’m glad. I was picked up by the national rugby team, by the way. Once school is done, I’ll be leaving for Mare Academy in Trost.”

Historia’s eyes widened. “Oh wow, seriously? So you’ll do professional rugby?”

Nanaba nodded. “What about you? Anything planned after school?”

The teacher finally scolded them for standing up in class, so they took a seat at Historia’s desk and continued their conversation. It was nice to talk to Nanaba without so much emotion clouding her words. She found that the more they talked, the more her guilt lessoned. It was apparent that Nanaba was definitely not over her completely, but she was getting there.

“We should stay in touch,” Nanaba suggested once the bell rang. “We can still stay friends.”

Historia smiled widely, pulling the tender skin at her lip. It bled lightly again, but she merely licked the blood away. “I’d love that.”

Nanaba eyed her injuries. “I hope you don’t get into too many fights. Didn’t take you for a brawler.”

Historia laughed. “Me neither. Turns out I can kick ass. Or, well, balls.”

At that Nanaba chuckled. They were out of the class, walking together down the stairs to the ground floor. “I heard about that. Impressive. I wish I was there to see you knock out the school’s biggest bully.”

Historia shrugged. “Just a day in the life. Hang around me long enough and maybe you’ll get a chance to see it. For some reason Ymir and I have a tendency to start trouble wherever we go.”

Nanaba’s smile dimmed slightly. “Is she treating you well?”

“Yeah.” A bright, happy smile took her face. Historia knew that Nanaba was watching her closely. She was apparently happy with what she saw.

“Looks like someone wants a moment of your time,” Nanaba said softly. “So I’ll head out. It was nice talking again, Historia. If you ever need me, call me.” She winked in her charming, Nanaba fashion and then walked off.

Historia spotted Hitch at the gate, looking agitated beyond belief and overly anxious. Ymir hovered nearby, looking just as vexed, but when she spotted Historia she brightened. Hitch, on the other hand, seemed to pale a little. She seemed to be the interested party, though, since she stepped in front of Historia as soon as she made it to the gate.

“Can I have a word with you?” Hitch asked tightly. Her eyes flicked to Ymir, who was eyeing her through narrowed eyes. “Without your bulldyke trying to eat my ass?”

Historia lifted a brow. “Why should I say yes when you just insulted my girlfriend?”

Ymir stayed silent and watched, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She seemed content to watch the fight unfold, if it turned into that.

Hitch flushed slightly. “Okay, shit. Sorry. Didn’t mean to. Can I please just speak to you, Historia?”

For the first time in her life she took pity on Hitch. She seemed really nervous, so she obviously wasn’t asking to speak so that she could turn around and beat her up. Ymir’s tall, looming presence probably also kept any violent desires at bay. Historia was also really curious, so she nodded and followed Hitch back onto school grounds, all the way close to the quad. When they stopped, she folded her arms across her chest and waited.

Hitch stared very intently at the ground, fingers rubbing together. When a solid minute rolled by, she finally inhaled shortly and straightened her spine. “I want to apologize to you, Historia.” Historia lifted a brow but did not respond. “I… I heard what Berik did. Reiner was really cut up about it. Reiner is actually… well, he’s really changed. I think the therapist his dad got for him is really helping with all his anger. He’s really sorry too, you know? Mina doesn’t really care, but for what it’s worth, she was pretty pissed when she saw how beat up you look. And as you know, Mina doesn’t really get pissed when someone is hurt.” She took a deep breath. “Fuck, I’m rambling. So I’m sorry, okay? For how I treated you when you told us your name and left Nanaba. I didn’t know how to handle that. I hope that… that we can at least be civil. And thus ends my word vomit. Jesus Christ I’m a verbal mess.”

Historia laughed softly. Hitch glared at her. “I’ve never seen you this nervous. Or speak this much. It’s amusing.”

“Yeah, well, I fucking care, okay? I always have.”

“You have to let people know that, Hitch. You’re pretty fucking horrible. Half the time when we were friends, I wondered why I stuck around.”

Hitch’s face dropped. “I know. I’m a bitch. Hitch the bitch, ha.”

“But I get that, you know? That’s just how you are. How you cope. I can forgive you, but I can’t forget what you’ve said and put me through for years.”

“That’s understandable. I can’t promise that I won’t hurt you again, either.”

“I like that you’re being honest about that.”

“Thought I’d take a page out of your book.” Hitch grinned. “After all, that book seems to be really helping you out. Kicking dicks and dating a hottie like that? All the yas.”

Historia rolled her eyes. “I thought Ymir was undesirable to you thanks to her country of origin.”

“That was just me being a dickbag.”

“Noted. So you apologized, I forgave you. Are we cool?”

Hitch nodded vigorously. “Yes. Hell yes. Will I see you around?”

Historia grinned. “If all the tall people have cleared a path, then yes.” She winked, turned and headed back to Ymir. Ymir eyed her warily.

“You okay?” she asked cautiously.

“Hitch confessed to me,” Historia responded with utmost seriousness. Ymir stopped dead in her tracks and stared at her, eyes wide. Historia couldn’t hold it in and burst out into laughter. “Just kidding! Oh god, your face.”

Ymir blushed and lightly slapped her arm. “Hey, asshole! I’m a sensitive girl.”

“Oh of course,” Historia giggled. She took Ymir’s hand and pulled her closer.

“No but seriously, what did noodle hair want?”

“She apologized.”

“Holy shit.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Ymir stared off into the distance. They were walking towards the mall, to meet the others at Titan Falls. They didn’t say any more, since apparently Ymir was lost in thought. About what, Historia wasn’t certain. But it was nice, walking together like that. Having made such progress with both Nanaba and Hitch, she felt much lighter.

It had turned out to be quite the interesting day indeed.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so satisfied with this story as a whole and where it's going. Man, this is a good feeling. Hope you enjoy! (Also fyi I have the next chapter written up, so expect that on the 10th)

They made it to Titan Falls in silence. Ymir was deeply lost in thought, and Historia seemed to sense that. That was something Ymir really appreciated: Historia’s ability to sense someone’s emotional or mental state, and act accordingly. Ymir probably would have been very distracted had Historia spoken to her.

So Hitch had apologized. It should have made Ymir relieved and happy, and on some level it really did. But she was suspicious. Why now? Not all that much time had passed, really. Only a couple months. Was that really enough time for someone to rethink their actions? Ymir was very much worried for Historia’s sake, but she didn’t want to voice that much yet.

“Hey, the wonder couple!” Connie called over to them the moment they stepped into Titan Falls. He was grinning wolfishly. “Ouch, you guys look black and blue.”

Ymir rolled her eyes and when they sat down, flicked his eyebrow. “That’s what happens when someone punches your face.”

“Ow, ya don’t gotta be so violent.”

Sasha laughed at his expense. Mikasa was beside her, and Sasha was between her and Connie. Ymir and Historia slipped into the seat across from them, leaning against each other.

“So…” Historia began, trailing off. Everyone looked at each other.

“See Berik around?” Connie asked casually. “’Cause I could still go and kick his ass if you want. I’m sure between Mikasa and I, we could break a bone or two.”

“What’s with you and wanting to beat people up?” Ymir asked him. “You’re a small guy.”

“Hey! Don’t say the s word.”

“S word?” Historia said. She laughed. “Let it go, Connie.”

“What, so you like being a shorty too?” he shot back.

Historia glared at him, making everyone else crack up in amusement. Ymir wrapped an arm around Historia’s shoulder. “Don’t make her angry,” she warned Connie. “She’s scary when she’s angry, despite her size.”

Historia smiled in satisfaction. “Exactly.”

They each ordered something to eat and drink, and both Historia and Mikasa pulled out a book to read. Sasha and Connie were having an in-depth conversation about some anime show, so Ymir was left to kind of just sit there and think. Before she could really fly off into her thoughts, she felt a chill run down her back. Glancing up, her eyes narrowed.

Reiner stood in the doorway to Titan Falls, staring at her with wide eyes. He seemed about ready to bolt, but shook his head and strode over to an empty table far from Ymir and her group. But Ymir watched him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. She still didn’t trust him, even though he had lost that confident air. Even though she noticed how he avoided eye contact, skin contact. Before this he had been large and loud, taking up space and reminding everyone of who he was and that he existed. Now he seemed to slink into the shadows, scared off by any little sound.

“That Reiner?” Connie asked her softly. Sasha was making out with Mikasa—when they had started doing that, Ymir wasn’t sure—so Connie was probably left staring at her face. Ymir nodded. “Man, it’s scary to think that he almost killed you guys.”

Ymir made a noise of agreement. She kept staring Reiner’s way. His school bag was with him, and he pulled a few books out. So he was probably there to study. Finals were very close. They had a handful of weeks left before normal school was over, and then they did their matric finals which would be spread out over two terms. After that, hopefully, they passed and went on to work or study.

“He doesn’t seem so aggressive now,” Connie observed.

“Yeah,” Ymir voiced. “He looks down.”

“He does. Makes me feel bad for him, kinda.”

“You?” Ymir lifted a brow at him. “The boy that wanted to beat him up twice now?”

Connie shrugged. “What? I’m like you. I think there are grey areas everywhere. He isn’t what I pictured him to be, is all.”

“He was,” Ymir assured. “He definitely was. But something changed.”

Connie hummed in agreement and they fell into silence again. Ymir was pretty sure Sasha had a hand down Mikasa’s pants, but Mikasa was pretty good at keeping a poker face even while she had Sasha nearly on her lap. Connie took his phone out and started distracting himself with that, so Ymir alternated between watching Historia and watching Reiner. Historia was very peaceful. Her eyes flicked between lines and pages, and her mouth twitched every so often. She read very quickly. Ymir couldn’t help but lift a hand and trace a small line down the side of her face. When Historia didn’t move at all, she frowned. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to Historia’s temple. _That_ got her attention.

“Ymir?” Historia placed a bookmark inside of the book and closed it. “What’s wrong?”

Ymir shook her head. “Nothing.” She kissed her again, softly on the lips this time. Historia smiled against her mouth. They linked hands, and Historia’s thumb brushed softly against her skin.

“You okay?”

“I’m perfect.”

Historia went back to her book. Ymir glanced over at Reiner again and caught him staring. He looked away very quickly, but Ymir would remember the look on his face.

Grief.

XxX

Reiner felt like his skin was itching and hot. He resisted the urge to scrape his nails over his arms. It was Ymir’s glare, he was sure. Her glare that sent the fiery touches of guilt down his spine. His mouth dried up so he ordered something to drink, but even that didn’t seem to help. Every time he felt Ymir staring, his heart sped up. He was trying to study for mechanical technology, but his eyes kept un-focusing and his brain simply wasn’t soaking in what he was reading. He gave up with an irritated sigh, flipping his thick textbook shut. A laugh across Titan Falls made him look up.

Historia was laughing, mouth open and eyes shut. It was a belly laugh, one that couldn’t be held in. It was filled with the happiness Reiner had never seen in her. It made him smile, to know that she was happy like that. As much as he didn’t like Ymir, and he really didn’t, it was nice to see Historia taken care of.

After a while Ymir and her group left, though the bald kid stayed. Reiner couldn’t help but watch him and try to place him. Where was he from? He hadn’t recognized the other girl, either, but he felt like he should have. When the boy looked over to him again, he suddenly remembered. He was Connie Springer, part of the Rose High rugby team. During the match, Reiner had been tackled by him once. Connie was small, so naturally he had dove for the ankles. Reiner remembered how that tackle had sent him sprawling.

He caught Connie’s eyes, and frowned in confusion when Connie blushed and looked away. Every so often he snuck glances, so Reiner decided it was safer to just leave. He shoved everything into his bag, paid for his meal and headed out the door. Once out of the mall he noted that it was raining, but that made his mood dampen. It reminded him of the time he had hit Historia. That was an all-time low for him.

Reiner didn’t have an umbrella with him, so he stood just underneath the roof of the mall, watching solemnly as the sky opened up and wept. Lighting sparkled in the distance, but there was no thunder yet.

“Reiner, right?”

He turned sharply, surprised by the voice, to see Connie standing beside him and glaring. “Um, yeah,” he said. “And you’re Connie.”

Connie narrowed his eyes. Reiner’s heart leapt into his throat. Why was Connie speaking to him? Did he want to start a fight? If he did, Reiner couldn’t say that he didn’t deserve it. But a lot of people had been picking fights with him and he was starting to get a little tired of constant scrapes and bruises. Not to mention what it did to his pride, if there was any of it left.

“I didn’t bring an umbrella,” Connie commented suddenly.

Reiner glanced at the rain. “Yeah, me neither.”

“Cool.”

He felt at a loss for words, really uncertain as to why this bald kid had decided to speak to him. Maybe he didn’t realize who Reiner was? No, he definitely knew. There was no way he didn’t. After everything that had happened, everyone knew who he was.

“Is there something you need?” Reiner finally asked.

Connie turned to him. There was a fire in his eyes that Reiner recognized, and it lit something inside of him. He swallowed and tensed, more than ready for a fight. But none came.

“If you hurt anyone I care about again, I’ll stab your ankles,” he finally said. “Got it?”

Reiner exhaled. “That’s it?”

“What? You thought I’d hit you?”

Reiner couldn’t help it. He laughed. It wasn’t a pleased laugh or an amused laugh. It was filled with self-pity. “Honestly? Yeah. You wouldn’t be the first.”

Something odd flashed over Connie’s eyes. “People have been beating you up?”

“Yeah.”

Connie looked away, thoughtful. His cheeks coloured red. Suddenly Reiner didn’t feel so alone. He wanted to inch closer, but stayed where he was. Connie wasn’t being kind to him. Or even thoughtful. He had just threatened him.

“Look, what you did was shitty. I heard that you apologized. That was cool of you. I don’t think… well…” Connie rubbed a hand over the shortly cropped hair on his head. “You shouldn’t be treated like that, man. You’re still human.”

Warmth filled Reiner’s chest. He felt tears prickle at his eyes, but held them back with all his might. He had been doing plenty of crying at that damn camp, he didn’t need to do more of it. It would be a sight, too. A big, beefy guy crying like a baby. Reiner wasn’t ashamed to cry. He only cried for things that deserved it.

“You still think I’m human?”

Connie glanced up at him in confusion. “Yeah? Even I’ve done shitty stuff. We all have our reasons. The point is that you realized you were wrong. You can come back from that.”

Reiner’s throat felt thick with emotion. He tried to swallow it away, but it was there, lodged and tight and aching. He inhaled shakily to steady himself, and then he smiled for the first time since his last game.

“Thank you, Connie. No one has ever said that to me before.”

Connie flushed. “Yeah, well. Felt sorry for you is all.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

“Then work hard until you do. Prove yourself.” He held out a fist and stared expectantly. “I believe in you.”

Reiner stared at his fist. Was this really happening? Hesitantly he bumped his own fist against Connie’s, and when their skin touched, his heart stuttered. Connie nodded in satisfaction.

“The rain let up,” he observed. “So I’ll be going now. Remember what I said, alright? I believe in you. Don’t ever give up.” He flashed another grin and then he was gone and Reiner stared at him, he stared for a long, breathless moment until Connie was a dot in the horizon.

Reiner’s fingers quivered. “Connie…” he muttered softly to himself, tasting the name on his tongue. “Thank you.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I know things are fucking terrifying in the US right now. God, even I'm scared out of my mind and I live in SA. I'm really starting to appreciate the ANC now and that's so fucked up. I decided to post the next chapter now, for anyone that needs a short distraction. Wish I could do more. I'm so scared for you guys. I can't even go onto tumblr or facebook right now. It makes me too anxious.

Mrs Dreyes was an expensive and over the top woman. She was one of those ladies that fussed over her looks and what the other housewives thought of her. Such was the case with her daughter, Hitch. Hitch didn’t particularly like her mother and she didn’t hate her, either. There was always a sense of distaste, of disapproval. Mrs Dreyes looked at Hitch as if she was nothing more than a lump of clay to play with and mould until she was in the perfect posture and shape and colour. Maybe it was her mother’s obsessiveness that had made Hitch so angry with the world and so ready to rebel at the slightest word.

“Stand straighter, Hitch. Make mama look good, won’t you? The other mothers are watching.”

Hitch glared up at her mother and wished she could pull her hand away from her mother’s grip, but didn’t dare. Instead she straightened her tiny body and glared forward, not caring that her mother was right and the other women were shooting looks her way.

“Smile, girl,” her mother insisted sternly. “Or I’ll whip you when we get home.”

Hitch swallowed. Rebellious she was, but never to her mother. She obeyed and forced an uneven smile, which assuaged the staring mothers enough that they stopped staring. A little way down the hallway Hitch caught the low, even tones of another mother speaking to her child, and for some reason curiosity gripped her. She leaned to the side to see who it was.

A beautiful blonde woman stood next to a tiny blonde girl, definitely her daughter by their identical pale skin and blue eyes. The woman looked uncomfortable and impatient, while the little girl looked meek and saddened. She stared down at her shoes and frowned. The woman turned to her again, anger flashing over her face. She forced the girl’s head upwards and spoke to her again.

“Chin up. Stop looking so sad. These people will start to think your father and I don’t provide enough for you.” Her tone was short and clipped. Uncaring.

“Yes mother,” the girl responded softly. Hitch almost didn’t catch the weak response. She leaned a little closer, but her mother suddenly wrenched her backwards and gripped the top of her arm, sending pain down Hitch’s spine. She didn’t mention it, though, and showed no pain on her expression.

“What do you think you are doing?” Mrs Dreyes hissed. “Stop being so nosy.”

Hitch wanted to shoot back that her mother was doing the exact same thing, but she held her tongue at bay. Eventually they were all allowed entrance into the hall and they took their seats. Maria Primary’s principle stepped onto the stage and greeted them all.

“Welcome parents and students, to Maria Primary’s grade 1 opening day. I do hope you all consider enrolling your child to attend our prestigious school this year. Now,” his voice droned on and Hitch ignored it, too young to care about such complicated things. Instead she searched the hall for that girl, and caught sight of her a few rows down. She was sitting slumped over, hands in her lap and head down. She looked so defeated.

Hitch wanted to know her.

After the opening day, Mrs Dreyes enrolled Hitch into Maria Primary. Hitch didn’t really care, but she found herself thinking about the girl a lot. She wondered why she had looked so down, why her mother acted so coldly towards her. Though she could definitely relate. Her own mother was a little different, though. If Hitch did as she was told and her mother was pleased, she would be praised with hugs and compliments and sometimes if she was lucky, toys. She wasn’t so sure the girl’s mother was the same.

When her first day of school rolled around, Hitch found that she was excited. She bounced around at the entrance to the school, impatient. Her mother shot her a warning look, and Hitch stopped bouncing, but she did not let her excitement ebb away. Mrs Dreyes walked her over to the quad, and then with a short goodbye, returned to her car. Some kids were screaming and crying for their parents not to leave or to stay, but Hitch couldn’t care less about her own. Once her mother was gone, that pressure left as well. Hitch suddenly felt free. Like she could do as she wanted and not have someone breathe down her spine. Grinning, Hitch set off to look for that girl

She found her sitting alone on the steps, staring emptily down into her lap. Not really having any filter, Hitch felt no shyness in approaching her and speaking.

“Hi. My name is Hitch. I saw you in the hall the other day. Why do you look so sad all the time?”

The girl’s head shot up and her eyes widened. For a long moment she merely stared, and then she swallowed and pointed at herself. “A-are you speaking to me?”

Hitch rolled her eyes. “Yes, dummy. Who else?”

The girl blushed. Seeing her response, something warm filled Hitch’s belly.

“Oh.”

“What’s your name?”

The girl bit down on her lip, shoulders slumping. “His—Krista. My name is Krista.”

Hitch grinned and pulled Krista to her feet. “Alright, Krista. You’ll be my friend from now on.” As expected Krista didn’t resist. Pleasure rolled down Hitch’s spine. Here was someone that was nothing, expected nothing and wanted nothing. Someone that wouldn’t turn around and tell Hitch what to do or feel. “Okay?”

Krista blinked at her. After a moment, she smiled. It was a small smile, and it was still shy, but it was beautiful. Hitch knew that she would never have such a beautiful smile. But maybe, she thought, if she kept that smile beside her, she could eventually mimic it. “Okay,” Krista responded. Her voice gained a little in strength. “Thank you.”

Hitch didn’t understand why Krista was thanking her, but she accepted it anyway.

From day one, Krista stuck to her side like glue, and without any coaxing. She was infinitely needy and afraid of the world around her. If someone spoke to her, Krista would glance at Hitch and she would respond or ward the person off. Krista was really cute, and a lot of the other kids seemed interested in getting to know her. But Hitch chased them all off. Eventually, though, they met Reiner.

He was an angry kid, always yelling at the teachers and kicking his desk. More than once he disappeared from school because he was suspended or in detention. He reminded Hitch of her father, so she invested herself in getting to know him. He was sitting on the field, picking up leaves and creating a pile of them. Hitch kicked the leaves aside and watched as he turned to look her, face reddening.

“Now why’d you do that?” he growled.

“Why not? They were just leaves.”

Reiner went even redder. “But they—I was…” His fists opened and closed, and it seemed his anger was overtaking him and he couldn’t get the words out. Hitch rolled her eyes.

“Relax,” she said. “Just take a deep breath, alright?” Surprisingly he listened to her, and after a second he seemed to calm and his face returned to its usual pale.

“What do you want?” he growled again.

Hitch shrugged. “I wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hitch, and this is Krista.” She pointed at Krista who was hiding behind her. Reiner stared at them both, frowning. “I want to be friends.”

His frown deepened. “Why do you want to be friends with _me_?”

“You’re like us,” she explained. “So hang with us.” She extended her hand. Reiner stared at it. Would he get her meaning? She didn’t want to have to go into a long, drawn out explanation of exactly _how_ they were similar. It was simply in how the world treated them. People tried to control them and make them feel like they weren’t allowed to be alive, or to have their own feelings and thoughts. Reiner must have understood that. Without a word he took her hand, and after some coaxing, Krista let him shake her hand too.

A few days later Mina was introduced into their group, and thus Hitch’s ideal friends became her own. She was mighty impressed with herself. Krista slowly came out of her shell, too. There was always something about her that was secluded, and Hitch wondered when Krista would show that side of her one day. But slowly she started smiling more, starting talking to them and greeting them on her own. Before long Krista was known as the goddess of grade 1 Maria Primary.

Then grade 2 rolled in and Ymir enrolled, and Hitch experienced her first bout of intense jealousy.

She knew the moment Krista was enamoured with Ymir. It started out in the little glances, the way Krista would stare off and not hear a thing she said. It was in how she brightened whenever Ymir greeted her, and how she became depressed when Ymir was bullied. It frustrated Hitch, but she was more terrified than anything. What if Krista left her for Ymir? What if she got a better friend? A nice friend? So Hitch instigated the help of Reiner and Mina and Annie, and together they drove Ymir out of school. Hitch had never been happier than the day their teacher announced that Ymir had left. But she would never forget the crushed look Krista had given her. She would never forgive herself for causing that look, even though she would have done it all again.

Their friendship remained after that. Krista became a little more closed off, but she continued to grow with them. They grew closer as the years flew by, and when puberty really hit and Krista’s breasts grew large, Hitch became jealous again. She relished every moment Krista followed her orders or her comments. She enjoyed the way Krista ignored her bad behaviour and acted as though it didn’t happen. Krista would never defy her.

It frustrated her when Krista showed her kindness. Because she did. Endless kindness. It was the fake, oversaturated kind. Krista only started acting a little more for herself when she started dating Nanaba, and even that made Hitch jealous. She lived in an endless cycle of wanting what Krista had. Though she knew that on some level, had she been Krista she would have hated her life.

And then Ymir returned and once again she stole Krista right from underneath Hitch’s nose. Krista became Historia, and before Hitch really realized it, her hold had vanished. Historia became her own person with her own thoughts and feelings. Hitch realized that she was just like her mother. So when Historia stood up to her and ended their friendship, all Hitch could do was run away. She cried that night. Long and hard. So hard that even her mother had been concerned for her. The last thing she had ever wanted to become was her mother, yet thinking back on her entire friendship, that was what she had been. To Krista she had been yet another hand pulling and prodding, but not to Historia she was nothing. A nobody. A bitch. It stung more than Hitch thought it ever could.

When did she start caring about Historia so much?

She knew that she did. She knew it in the way her heart ached, how her chest felt too hot and tightened and sometimes it felt like she couldn’t breathe at all. She knew it when she found out Reiner had dared hurt Historia, and how she had gone and hurt him back. She had punched him square in the face, and he had let her. Even though he knew what he had done was wrong, even though he was trying his best, she hated him for what he had done.

“How dare you?” Hitch snarled at him. She had the front of his shirt between her fingers, and he was down on his knees. Blood slowly trickled out of his nose.

“I have no excuse,” he choked out softly. “I lost it.”

Hitch narrowed her eyes at him. “Leave her alone.”

“I will. She hates me now, Hitch. She…” Tears filled his eyes. She had never seen him so down, so destroyed and pathetic. Once again her chest tightened and she released him. He crumbled farther down. “I tried to do it again, for you,” he explained. “I tried to drive her away from Historia. But Historia… she… well… It didn’t work. All we were doing was hurting her. I can’t do it anymore, Hitch. I love you, but I can’t punch this wall for you anymore. My father is sending me away for a bit. I’ll miss this term.”

Hitch sucked in a breath. Her anger melted away and she knelt down next to him, pulled him into her arms. “I love you too, you know,” she admitted softly. “Ever since the day we became friends. Mina loves you too, and I’m sure Historia still does in her own way. I’m sorry—” Her voice cut off suddenly, throat thick with emotion. “I’m sorry for what I made you do.”

Reiner chuckled. “At least Mina enjoyed herself, right? God, she’s an evil bitch sometimes.”

Hitch laughed with him. Reiner was shaking badly and soft tears streamed down his face. He was aching and broken and he most likely wasn’t sure if he would ever be fixed, but Hitch promised herself that she would be there for him. “Yeah, Mina is worse than me. And that’s saying a lot. She is pissed at you, though. But she won’t mention it. Just…” she tightened her arms around him. “Get better, alright?”

Reiner nodded. “That’s the idea.”

Reiner didn’t come to school the next day, and he texted Hitch that he had arrived at the camp where his father had sent him. It was a four week thing, meant to help him work on his anger and fix his broken self-image. She really hoped it would help him. In the meantime she observed.

Historia looked so happy. It sent a knife twisting in Hitch’s gut every time she glanced over and saw Historia laughing with her new friends. Hitch had to admit, Ymir was good for her. Ymir brought out every good and bad thing in her, and didn’t let her hide. With Hitch all she had ever done was hide, but with Ymir she was out in the open. Hitch started to envy Ymir, started to feel that familiar hatred and jealousy in her gut. But she realized that was her downfall. That was how she fully turned into Amanda Dreyes. She was not her mother and she refused to let her mother leave such a huge dent in her personality. So she let go. Slowly, painfully, she stopped watching Historia, stopped fixating on every little thing she did. And gradually her obsession faded. The hurt didn’t. Of course it didn’t.

So all Hitch could do was apologize and make up for it. All of it. Maybe this time Historia’s kindness would be genuine.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are now entering hotter territory, if you know what I mean

**_Connie:_** _Yo, His’. I have a favour to ask._

 ** _Historia:_** _Yeah?_

 **_Connie:_ ** _It might seem a little weird_

 ** _Connie:_** _But I just… um… am doing some research_

 **_Historia:_ ** _What is it, Connie?_

 **_Connie:_ ** _Can I please have Reiner’s number?_

 **_Historia:_ ** _You think I still have his number?_

 **_Connie:_ ** _Well yeah_

 ** _Historia:_** _Say I do. Why do you want it? I know you dislike him. I wouldn’t be happy if you went and harassed him. He was very wrong in what he did, but we’ve all started to put that behind us._

 **_Connie:_ ** _I know that, don’t worry. Look, can I be honest with you? Can you keep a secret?_

 ** _Historia:_** _I can_

 **_Connie:_ ** _Ever since Maria Park I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Reiner. Yesterday I stayed behind, remember?_

 ** _Historia:_** _yeah?_

 **_Connie:_ ** _I spoke to him. He’s so cute. And so muscly. And god I know he was a bully but he’s so sad now and I just wanna hug him. So please, can I have his number?_

 ** _Historia:_** _wow, so you have feelings for him?_

 **_Connie:_ ** _I think so. Please don’t tell anyone. Not until I’m sure, at least. Or until I have some kind of chance._

 ** _Historia:_** _Noted. Will keep my lips sealed. Though Ymir might notice. Just be careful around her. She’s very sharp._

 ** _Connie_** : _I will do so._

 **_Historia:_ ** _Historia shared a contact: Reiner Braun._

 **_Historia:_ ** _There. Good luck. And be careful._

 ** _Connie:_** _I will. Thank you._

XxX

Ymir stared up at the sky. Thick, heavy clouds loomed over the school building, and fat droplets of rain splashed all around them. Students loitered around her, heading down the stairs to the ground floor to head towards the hall. She stayed, though. Leaning against the walled railing, Ymir alternated between watching the rain and watching the faces around her. Water slid down her cheek and neck, wetting the side of her face, but she didn’t really care. When she finally spotted the face she was looking for, she reached out with a long arm and gently grasped her hand.

“Hitch,” Ymir said sternly. “I want to speak to you.”

Hitch paused mid-sentence and mid-step. Mina eyed Ymir up and down, a curl at her lip, but Hitch waved her off before she could snarl some kind of insult. “Go. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Ymir didn’t release Hitch’s hand until Mina had disappeared. When the rest of the students hurried off and they were alone, Ymir leaned into the rain again and stared Hitch down.

“What do you want?” Hitch asked, eyes hard and suspicious.

“I’m not going to beat you up, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Ymir told her, smirking.

“Then what do you want?”

“To talk.”

“So talk.”

“What do you want with Historia?” She frowned and allowed her displeasure to melt onto her face. “I don’t trust you.”

Hitch sighed wearily. She joined Ymir in the rain, just as uncaring when it wet her curls. “Don’t trust my apology, huh?”

“Not one bit.”

“That’s understandable. I don’t think Historia does either.”

Ymir was a little taken aback by Hitch’s defeated tone. She wasn’t being snarky or rude. She was being… honest. “I… uh…” She wasn’t sure how to continue this. Ymir had fully expected Hitch to be difficult. Not so saddened.

“You know, my mother is a huge bitch. I could blame a lot of my terrible personality traits on her. But… when Historia left me, I realized that I was turning into my mother. It scared me shitless. Do you know what that feels like?”

Ymir inched a little closer. “No. My parents died when I was seven.”

“You’re lucky, then. Not that they died, but that you never got to know what it felt like to have a parent that didn’t see _you_ , but only saw _themselves_ in everything you did or said. It’s frustrating. My mother still does it.”

Ymir furrowed her brows. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, Ymir,” Hitch turned to her. “I care about Historia, and that means being civil with you. I can’t be that if you’re breathing down my neck. So understand how I feel, okay? I have apologized. And I’ll work hard to deserve her forgiveness.”

Ymir bit down on her lip, thoughtful. She glanced away and into the dreary horizon, where a streak of lightning split the sky. Slowly, softly, the sharp edges of unease faded away. Much like Historia, Ymir could smell bullshit from a mile away. She knew without doubt that Hitch was being honest with her. That made her feel a lot better, for Historia’s sake.

“If you hurt her again, I will destroy you,” Ymir warned her lowly.

Hitch rolled her eyes. “Understood, Captain Freckles.”

Ymir lifted a brow. “Good talk, Noodle Hair.” She turned, grinning, and headed down the stairs. Hitch run up beside her.

“Hey, my hair does not look like noodles!”

Ymir snorted. “I feel like Naruto is gonna jump out of nowhere and slurp your hair up.”

“That is so rude.”

“So is that hairstyle.”

Hitch went red in the face, but she grinned. It was the closest they would ever get to actually coexisting, so Ymir took it for what it was. When they made it to the hall and stepped inside, Historia was watching. She sent Ymir a quizzical look when she noted Hitch beside her, but Ymir shrugged, winked and took the nearest seat. She would tell Historia later. She watched Hitch join Mina and whisper something to her. Mina glanced back. Ymir stared.

After a second Mina looked away, and Ymir exhaled softly.

XxX

Titan Falls was unusually empty, though they could contribute that to the sudden storm raging outside. Ymir was drenched while Historia was mostly dry. Ymir was glad for her size then, since she had shielded Historia from most of the downpour despite Historia’s arguments for her not to. They sat together and did their homework.

Ymir drank lazily at her coke and scribbled in the few answers to her math questions. Eventually she finished up with that subject and stuffed the books away, pulling out her art. Historia seemed to finish her work as well, because she pulled out a book and sat back, sighing.

“Glad my book didn’t get wet,” she commented.

Ymir hummed in acknowledgement and flipped her sketchpad open. Historia went to reading then, so Ymir watched her intently and worked on her final sketch. There was a nice atmosphere going. Pouring, loud rain outside, slight humidity inside. Historia’s breaths came out in gentle white puffs, and her skin was very slightly damp with perspiration. She was so pretty, sitting there reading her book. She slid a lock of hair behind a pink ear, squinted her eyes slightly and bit down on her lip, then turned the page.

Ymir’s chest suddenly burned and ached, but in a satisfyingly intense way. She clutched at her chest with one hand, sucking in few, shallow breaths. She realized that her feelings for Historia were a little out of hand. They were all consuming, breathless. They knocked her to her knees and threatened to break her ribs. Was it possible to love someone so much? She hardly really knew Historia. There was still so much time for them to be together, to learn each other. And like that, Ymir realized what that missing thing was on her sketch, and bent over the paper to draw like a mad woman. Her wrist ached by the time she completed it, but it was oh so perfect. Historia hadn’t even noticed her sudden rush—or if she had, she hadn’t brought attention to it.

Ymir sat back, exhaling a long breath. “It’s done,” she whispered softly, more to herself than Historia. Historia didn’t turn to her, so she gently shut the book and slipped it into her bag. She would need to redraw it on cardboard and add greater depth and detail, but she at least knew exactly what to do. They had roughly two weeks of normal school left, and so one week to complete their art. Ymir felt high. Grinning, she scooted closer to Historia and nuzzled against her cheek. As expected, Historia shut her book and looked up at her.

“Ymir?”

Ymir kissed her. She said no words and wasted no time. Her chest was warm and tingly, and her fingers ached to feel the soft silk of Historia’s skin. She cupped Historia’s warm cheek in her palm and kissed her with a fierceness she hadn’t known she could muster. Historia moaned softly into her mouth, sending that heat from Ymir’s chest downwards. The taut muscles of her abdomen clenched in reaction, and Ymir pulled away, face flushed.

“Wh—Ymir?” Historia asked, lips a little swollen, cheeks blazing red and eyes dazed.

“I just…” Ymir grappled for words. She was burning everywhere, then. Arousal built deeply from the pit of her stomach, and she leaned in again. Historia didn’t stop her and greeted her with enthusiasm. Their lips brushed together softly at first, but then with increased urgency. Ymir wasn’t at all certain what she suddenly needed, but she felt it, that deep aching need inside of her. Historia seemed to sense it, too. She climbed up onto Ymir’s lap and deepened the kiss, running her tongue along Ymir’s, biting down on it, groaning softly. Her small hands ran through Ymir’s hair and every little press of her warm body against Ymir’s sent waves of intensity through her. After a while Ymir pulled back, embarrassed that they were being so intimate in public. But they were the only customers and the waiters weren’t even looking their way.

“Ymir…” Historia exclaimed softly. “Do you…” she cleared her throat. “Can I come over to your house this weekend?” Her eyes were brighter than Ymir had ever seen them, cheeks so pink. There was something in her gaze that pulled Ymir in and promised things she didn’t yet know. “To study.”

Ymir swallowed. Her tongue suddenly felt too big, too dry. Her heart was hammering away in her chest, beating its own erratic rhythm. Between her legs was a fire that nothing in her imagination could put out. She knew what this was, and the realization made her stomach roll with terror. But she found herself nodding, and then Historia was kissing her again and Ymir’s mind clouded over and she let it. Let all rational thoughts float away but for one.

She wanted Historia more than air.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains masturbation and mentions of sex. You have been warned.

Class had ended and Ymir sat alone in the classroom, staring down at her completed sketch. She traced the delicate curves, the lightest of shading, and smiled softly to herself. The room was darker than usual, casting Ymir in deep shadows. Very pale light spilled in through the windows, but they were not enough to really illuminate enough. But Ymir could still see her sketch perfectly, if not for the clear memory she had of it.

“Ymir.”

She glanced up in surprise.

“Historia, you’re still here?”

Historia grinned and sauntered over. Her hips swayed from side to side, inviting Ymir’s eyes to the hypnotizing sight. Her mouth dried up completely, and she remembered their moment at Titan Falls where Historia’s hands had been buried in her hair and her tongue in her mouth. A familiar feeling fluttered through her tummy, and she found herself swallowing loudly.

“Yes I am,” Historia purred softly. She walked over, paused by Ymir’s desk and then sat down on top of it, scooting over until she could rest her shoes on the edges of Ymir’s chair and have Ymir between her legs. She was wearing a skirt. Historia parted her legs slightly. “What’re you doing?”

Ymir glanced at her sketchpad, where it had been moved over to the other desk. “Uh… I was just sitting here. It’s dark.”

“Yeah it is.”

Her heart lurched when Historia leaned back slightly, palms on the desk. Her shirt parted, revealing creamy cleavage barely contained within a silky red bra. Ymir’s eyes zeroed in. She couldn’t help herself. And then Historia spread her thighs farther apart and Ymir spotted the similar red colour of her panties. Her heart nearly popped.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Historia spoke softly, eyes unusually dark and clouded as she gazed down at Ymir. “I want you.”

“W-want me?”

“Sexually, Ymir.”

Her face burnt harshly. Ymir wasn’t sure what to do or where to put her hands. Historia reached out and grabbed them, guiding them to her thighs. “You can touch me here,” she whispered. “Or a little higher, if you want.”

Ymir nearly swallowed her tongue. Historia was being so assertive and confident, and Ymir wasn’t sure at all what to do. She gripped Historia’s thighs a little too tightly, but Historia didn’t seem to mind. She kissed her, hard and rough from the start. Ymir released a squeak of surprise but did not push her away. Her heart thumped harder and she felt heat build in her tummy. Her palms were sweaty and Historia’s thighs were so soft, so warm. They kissed for a long while until Ymir grew the courage to make a move. She slid one hand higher. Higher, higher, _higher,_ until a fingertip brushed the soft fabric of Historia’s panties. There was no reaction, so she pressed a little firmer, feeling dampness and warmth, and Historia moaned into her mouth.

Historia’s hand snaked around her own, guiding her more firmly, grinding the tips of her fingers against what Ymir assumed was her clit. She felt like _she_ was ready to explode. And then Historia moved her panties to the side, whispered “ _I need you, Ymir. Inside of me,”_ and moved Ymir’s fingers where she wanted them, Ymir watching. Her fingers began to slide inside—

Ymir opened her eyes, chest heaving and clothes stuck to her damp skin. For a long, heavy second she had no idea where she was, but then she recognized her ceiling and covered her burning face with a hand.

_A dream. It was a fucking wet dream._

The only thing that wasn’t a dream, though, was the heat between Ymir’s legs. She shifted in bed and realized that she was incredibly wet, and so she stared helplessly up at her ceiling. Flashes of the dream came to her, from the dark, quiet atmosphere to the fiery kiss and Historia’s underwear. Of course, that hadn’t actually been Historia’s panties. Ymir lifted a hand and stared at it, knowing full well that she couldn’t, but feeling as though her fingers were still warm. Inside of Historia. She had dreamt that.

“Oh god.” She covered her face with a hand. Her heart was flying all over the place. It was still a little too early to get up, though. She didn’t feel like getting up yet. Her knees were jelly and her core was soaked, so getting up was a problem on its own. She needed a shower. But first…

Ymir swallowed.

There was no escaping her arousal. She couldn’t ignore this and go to school as usual. So, face red and hot, Ymir slid a hand down her body. The moment she touched herself, she shuddered and released a short breath. She didn’t take her time or build herself up. Eyes closed, Ymir allowed herself to remember her dream and to imagine it going even further. She imagined her tongue inside of Historia, and then she was coming, swearing in Swedish and shuddering. When it was over, she felt embarrassment sweep over her.

Ymir hurried to take a shower to calm herself down. She couldn’t help the tiny bit of shame she felt at imagining Historia in such a sexual situation. But god, how could she not?

XxX

Ymir felt exhausted. She hadn’t woken that early, but her activities afterward had drained her energy. She was a little more cheerful than usual, though. Historia seemed to notice, but that only made Ymir blush wildly, and _that_ Historia noticed too. When Ymir averted her gaze, Historia got the hint, so thankfully she didn’t ask any questions.

“Are we still good to study?”

Ymir swallowed her mouthful of bread. They were on their second break, sitting by their usual spot on the pavilion. They alternated between there and the rugby field, but it was raining, so the field wasn’t the best idea.

“Ooh, you guys having a study session?” Sasha jumped in, cheeks filled with food. She chewed wildly and glanced between them. “Wow, there is some thick tension here. Imma go back to my side of the pavilion.” She scooted away slightly.

Ymir glared at her, but her cheeks burnt again. Historia was sitting pressed against her side, and her fingertips were lightly caressing Ymir’s wrist. Ymir couldn’t stop thinking about her dream and the darker look in Historia’s eyes. She knew Historia didn’t want to actually study. Was she really asking for what Ymir thought she was, or was her mind just clouded by lust? She cleared her throat.

“Sure. Ilse is cool with it. But, uh…” Her face felt too hot. “She’ll be out late for work. Might only come back when we’re asleep.”

Historia gave a naughty smirk, and Ymir was absolutely certain that Historia was trying to get into her pants. She felt two very strong emotions—fear and arousal. She wanted Historia too, but was she ready for it?

XxX

The day only seemed to drag on. Ymir’s mind was a million miles away, and in plenty of classes the teachers had called her out on it. Luckily she was the smart kid, so whatever question was asked, regardless of her focus, she could give the correct answers. It left the teachers unsatisfied and disgruntled. Ymir didn’t even really take amusement in that. She was too distracted.

Historia was taking over her life. Not that she really minded.

When school finally ended, Ymir and Sasha left their Life Sciences class and walked together towards the gate. Sasha was mostly silent, shooting Ymir little glances that said she was worried about something, but didn’t know how to mention it.

“What?” Ymir finally asked.

“You okay? You’ve been really weird today.”

“Weird?” She snorted. “I’ve not been weird.”

“I called you toe fungus in class and you didn’t even blink at me.”

Ymir stopped walking. “You fucking what?”

Sasha sighed. “I just want to know if it’s something bad. The reason you’re so floaty today. Is it weed? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, Sasha. I’m fine.” She sighed heavily. “I just… I’ve been thinking a lot, is all.”

“What about?”

Ymir was suddenly caught between a rock and a hard place. She truly did consider Sasha to be a close friend, but she wasn’t so sure if she could confide so deeply in her. Who else was there, though? Ilse? That wouldn’t be a good idea. Her role as foster parent would override her role as friend and sister, and Ymir as sure all she would get was an earful on how she was too young.

“Historia,” she finally answered softly. “Okay? I’ve been thinking about me and Historia.”

Sasha lifted a brow. “Are you still happy?”

“God yes. It’s nothing bad.”

“Then?”

Ymir flushed. “This weekend…” she couldn’t finish the sentence. But her blush must have said it all. Sasha’s eyes widened.

“Oh wow, Historia wants to ride the freckles train, huh?”

Ymir swatted at Sasha, but she avoided the attack. She was grinning in amusement. “Please don’t turn this into a joke.”

“I won’t! Sorry. I just… you really are a virgin, huh? That’s so adorable. Okay, so did she tell you that she wants sex or are you assuming?”

 _Sex_. Ymir covered her face with a hand, ignoring Sasha’s bouts of laughter and cooing. She couldn’t help that the mere mention of it made her embarrassed to all hell. It took great effort to finally drop her hand and stare steadily at Sasha. “I’m pretty good with assumptions,” she answered.

“Okey dokey, so are you scared of doing it? Don’t know what to do? Feel you won’t perform properly? Or do you not wanna give out at all?”

Ymir looked away, too embarrassed for eye contact. “I’m scared,” she admitted in a small voice. “That… that what if… if we do, and then she gets bored with me or something. What if that’s been her objective all along?”

Sasha hummed, nodding. “So you feel like all she wants is to whack your noddle and then she’ll wave goodbye and skip off into the sunset?”

At that Ymir turned to give her a look, but Sasha only shrugged and grinned in amusement. “Not the words I would use, but yes.”

“Why don’t you talk to her about it?”

She should. She really should. Ymir knew that. But how? If she got so embarrassed talking to Sasha about it, how on earth would she fare against Historia, the very girl of her troubles? Ymir sucked in a breath, nodding. She would do it.

“Okay. I’ll talk to her.”

Sasha slapped her heartily on the back. “That’s my platonic bae! Go get some.” She winked, laughing, and hurried off. “I’m meeting Con’ at the dance studio in town. Have fun with the love of your life!” She waved wildly as she hurried through the gates.

Ymir shook her head in exasperation, but she felt a little better. Having voiced her concerns, they didn’t seem so big and impossible anymore. All she needed to do was talk to Historia, explain how she felt. Historia was skilled at seeing past people’s walls, so there was no doubt she would see the honesty in Ymir’s words. She wasn’t _Krista_ anymore, either. Though if she would accept not getting what she wants, Ymir wasn’t sure.

Historia was most likely waiting for her at the gate, so Ymir squared her shoulders and prepared for her heart to hammer, but paused when she heard a shout. She glanced around, spotting Reiner at the teacher’s parking lot surrounded by a few guys. He was eyeing them wearily, and they were all leering at him. Ymir’s stomach pulled taut and anger gripped her tightly. Fists clenched, she walked over towards him. He circled around until his back faced her, so he didn’t see her coming.

“What’s wrong, big bad wolf,” one of the guys mocked. “Scared of a little fight?”

“You seemed so eager before,” a second added.

“Though you probably prefer picking on people smaller than you, huh? Or girls? Are your balls that small?” a third jibed.

“My balls are big enough,” Reiner responded evenly. “I don’t want to fight.”

“Yeah? But we do.”

“Yeah, we’ve been bored lately.”

“Amuse us, big guy.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. She was close enough now to grab hold of Reiner, but she didn’t. One of the bullies swung a fist but before it could land, Ymir appeared in front of Reiner and caught it. Everyone there stared in surprise, and she tightened her hand around his fist until the guy dropped to his knees, crying out in pain.

“Jesus, man, you’re hurting me!”

“Oh, my apologies. How thoughtless of me.” She released him and glared. They all glared back, but they didn’t make a move to attack her. This was the norm now. Since her title had been upgraded to Historia’s girlfriend, people weren’t sure how to deal with her. They mostly left her alone, though many clearly showed their interest or dislike. To them, she was either still the _foreigner_ or she was the chick that beat up Hitch. These guys stared at her then, like they wanted to lash out for the hell of it, but they didn’t want Historia’s ire. Ymir smirked at them.

“Whatever,” they said. They regrouped and walked out of school, shooting glares and muttering to each other. Ymir stood still, waiting and watching, and then turned to see Reiner staring at her.

“You didn’t have to do that,” he told her calmly.

Ymir narrowed her eyes. “I hate bullies.” She stepped up closer to him, got up in his face. “But I hate weak people even more. Are you weak, Reiner? You were going to let them beat you up. You nearly killed me. You have the strength to kick their asses.”

Reiner shrugged. “I’m done fighting.”

She noticed the bruises along his mouth and throat, the scrapes over his knuckles and scratches on his arms. “Start standing up for yourself,” she snarled, angry all over again. “There’s a difference between that and hurting people. Have some respect. Historia still cares about you, so take care of yourself. Or _I’ll_ be the one bruising you up.” She lightly punched his arm, stare firm. “Got it?”

Reiner’s expression cracked and he glanced down, nodding. Ymir walked around him and made for the gate, but his had closed around hers and she paused. His fingers were quivering and his palm was too warm, but she didn’t pull away.

“Thank you,” he breathed. “Really.”

Ymir squeezed his hand. “Don’t mention it.”

He let her go and she walked away. But she knew his eyes followed her.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we are entering the final stretch of this fic and I'm not sure if I'll end up doing my usual thing of avoiding the fic because I'm pissy about ending it, or if I'll actually finish this soon. I HAVE to finish it before the 16th of December. Wish me luck guys.

Ymir was nervous, so she plugged an earphone in and let the tune of Prime Circle’s _Hello_ calm her nerves. Prime Circle was her go to when she just felt like relaxing and not thinking about complicated stuff. Though she couldn’t help but overthink, since Historia walked quietly beside her and Historia’s bag was heavy over Ymir’s shoulder.

“Are you sure you’re okay to carry my bag? I can handle it.”

Ymir shrugged. “Just doing my part as a gentlewoman. It’s fine, really.”

Historia rolled her eyes, but she smiled and took Ymir’s arm, wrapping hers around it. When she pressed in close Ymir intimately felt the soft swell of her breast and her heart started thumping hard.

“So what do you have planned for us this weekend?”

Ymir swallowed thickly. “S-studying,” she blurted.

Historia hummed softly. “Sounds fun.”

“And movies,” Ymir added lamely. “If you watch movies.”

“I do.” Historia grinned in amusement.

Ymir’s fingers were quivering. Friday had rolled around both too slowly and too quickly, and they were walking over to Titan Falls to do the last bit of homework for the week before Ilse picked them up. Ymir hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the dirty dream she had had, and the desire afterward. Every time Historia looked at her, Ymir could only look at her soft, pink lips and imagine enjoying them on other parts of her body. Every time her mind went south, she turned into a bumbling idiot. Twice Ymir had walked into students because she was too flustered to watch where she as going, and once she tripped over her own feet at the sight of Historia’s cleavage through her white shirt. Sasha found it all too amusing, though.

 _“God, Ymir. You’re worse than Connie right now,”_ Sasha had said, laughing.

_“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”_

_“It means you’re a flustered mess.”_

Ymir sighed.

XxX

Ymir was most definitely nervous. While Historia found it amusing for the most part, it also worried her. She had noticed Ymir’s change in behaviour. Ymir, who was always honest and open, had clammed up. She avoided eye contact and stared at Historia’s chest, and if she thought Historia hadn’t noticed then she was wrong. Something had happened to cause the change, though Historia wasn’t sure what it was. She hadn’t done anything herself. Was it something someone else said? Sasha wasn’t helping things with her flurry of constant sexual jokes. Historia had an idea what it was, but she decided to leave it alone and wait for Ymir to speak to her about it.

It was raining when they made it to Titan Falls, but luckily they were untouched. Historia commented as such, but Ymir was somewhere else and didn’t even respond. Historia let go of her arm, sighing, and took her hand instead. She pulled Ymir over to their usual table and ordered their usual.

“You alright?”

Ymir jumped slightly, face reddening. She fidgeted in her seat and loudly cleared her throat. “Perfect, thanks.”

Historia lifted a brow. She did not believe that for a second. “Ymir, you’ve been a mess this whole week. I’m…” she swallowed. “If you don’t want me to sleep over, if that’s too uncomfortable for you, I can call my driver to pick me up right now.”

Ymir’s head whipped around, and she regarded her with knitted brows. “No, that’s not it,” she said harshly. “It’s just…”

“Just? Ymir… I love you. I really, really love you.” Ymir blushed anew. “But I also respect and care for you. I want this thing between us to work out. How can it, if you keep everything to yourself?”

“It’s just…”

Historia sighed. She covered Ymir’s hand with her own. “You know I won’t ever think badly of you, right? You’re like my hero, and I get the honour of dating you.”

Some of Ymir’s nerves seemed to melt away, and the usual cool confidence trickled in. Ymir’s posture eased and she slipped her fingers between Historia’s. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

“Me too. Am I making you feel like you can’t talk to me?”

“No…” Ymir looked away, cheeks red again. “It’s just, I had this dream about you and it keeps fucking me up. I can’t stop thinking about it or you and as you’ve noticed, I’m a mess.”

Historia stared at her face. It only took a second to realize exactly what Ymir meant, and when she realized it, Historia blushed deeply as well. Ymir looked to her after her long silence, but she noted her embarrassment and only darkened too. Their waitress decided to interrupt the extreme awkwardness by bringing their drinks. She must have sensed the mood, for she only smiled lightly, placed their drinks down and scuttled off. Ymir stared at her retreating figure and Historia stared at the smooth table top.

“You had a wet dream about me?” Historia enquired softly.

Ymir sucked in a breath. “Yes…”

“How… uh… wet was it?”

Historia felt herself heat up further. She shouldn’t have felt so embarrassed, since she had been quite sexually active since dating Nanaba, but this was Ymir. Ymir was new. Just the thought of Ymir dreaming about her sexually sent a strong flutter through her stomach.

“Quite wet,” Ymir admitted softly. She grinned a little, which made Historia laugh. She couldn’t help it. “What’re you laughing at?”

“I can’t help it, I’m sorry. Here we are, a couple, blushing over the fact that you had a naughty dream about me.”

Ymir stared at her, but she seemed to agree when she slumped and chuckled softly. “When you put it that way…”

Their food arrived then, and Historia ate slowly while she leaned comfortable against Ymir’s side. They mostly stayed silent and ate their food, and after that they actually worked on their homework. The mood had lifted, thankfully. Ymir was a lot more calm and relaxed, and this was proven when she cracked a few jokes and teases, something she hadn’t really done the past week.

Historia was relieved. Ymir was just nervous, since she was a virgin and all. Historia had been worried that it was something else entirely.


	46. Chapter 46

Ymir had meant it when she said they would study. Once Ilse had dropped them off and left for work, Ymir escorted Historia to the living room, where they both sat and poured over their textbooks well into the night. By the time eight rolled around, Ymir was stiff from sitting on the floor. She flipped her book shut with a huff and collapsed onto her back, stretching her sore muscles. Her stomach growled loudly in response.

“Yeah, I’m hungry too,” Historia commented with a grin. “Are you going to feed me?”

Ymir lifted a brow. She shrugged. “I dunno, maybe if you work for it.”

“And what would you like me to do?” Historia threw back, voice sultry. She got onto her hands and knees and started crawling closer. The position made her shirt dip, and Ymir got a very clear view of her breasts covered only in her thin bra. Ymir swallowed thickly.

“Uh… pizza?”

Historia tilted her head. “You want me to pizza?”

Ymir laughed and covered her face with a hand. “No. Do you want me to order pizza?”

“Sure.”

Ymir got up off the floor and hurried to do just that. Her heart was still pounding harshly but she forced it to calm down. They were just boobs. She had seen boobs before. Ymir did not succumb to the mere sight of titties. Or so she had assumed, but apparently she was weaker than a man.

“Fuck, get a grip,” she growled at herself, glaring at the floor while the line rang. After she placed an order for pizza, she returned to the lounge and plopped down on the couch. Historia immediately cuddled against her side and then they just sat there in silence.

“You alright?” Historia asked tentatively. “Still nervous?”

“Nervous?” Ymir snorted. “Never.”

Historia hummed. It was clear that she didn’t believe her, but Ymir wasn’t going to push the issue. She grabbed for the TV remote and switched it on. While she scrolled, Historia grabbed her free hand and held onto it tightly.

“Wait, I love this song!”

Ymir paused at the music channel. “ _Cliff’s edge, you turn me on. You lead me on. You got me on a cliff’s edge,_ ” the song sang. Ymir knew it and loved it as well. Historia leaned a little further into her.

“Ymir.”

_Kiss me with adventure, till I forget my name._

“Mm?”

_Get a little closer. Get a little closer._

Ymir looked down at Historia and found that she was staring. Her eyes were wide, the blue in them darkened and filled with emotion. Her pupils were blown wide, and just the look on her face made Ymir’s heart patter. Heat washed over her.

_Your hips, your lips, they’re mine._

Ymir couldn’t help herself. She leaned down and kissed Historia hard, fuelled by her own scattering heartbeat and the want driving through her veins. She pulled Historia over onto her lap, dug her fingers into her hips. Historia was gasping softly into her mouth, nipping very gently at her lower lip. Ymir felt Historia’s fingers run through her hair.

“Are you okay?” Historia asked softly, panting against her lips.

Ymir couldn’t find the words, so she cupped Historia’s cheek and kissed her again. She lifted Historia gently and laid her down on the couch, resting lightly atop her. Their bodies were hot, breaths ragged and hearts racing. Ymir could feel Historia’s pulse even through her clothing. Its hurried put her at ease and made her excited all at once. Ymir felt consumed with Historia, with her feelings for her, want and need for her. Ymir settled between Historia’s legs, and when their pelvises met, Historia groaned loudly.

The noise snapped Ymir out of it, and she pulled back hurriedly, face flushed. Historia’s shirt had ridden up while they were kissing, exposing her pale tummy. Her chest heaved with heavy breaths.

“Ymir?” Historia asked, brows furrowed. Her cheeks were dusted over with red. “What’s wrong?”

Ymir straddled her. She knew what she wanted to do, but her mind filled with every reason not to. The panic wadded in and pushed the euphoria away, scaring her into moving away until they weren’t touching. The doorbell rang.

“Pizza is here,” she offered lamely. She stood and headed for the door, Historia’s gaze at her back. She felt angry and disappointed in herself. When had she become such a coward?

XxX

Historia’s chest pulled tight with pain as she watched Ymir hurry from the room, and her eyes stung harshly. Shame washed over her, making her sit up and hurriedly cover her skin. Her cheeks were red. Why had Ymir stopped? Historia had been so sure that they were about to take that final step. Ymir had been so hungry for her. Or had she? Was Ymir not interested? Was she just too scared because she was a virgin? Despite knowing that she should talk to Ymir about it, Historia still felt like the fault was with her. That she wasn’t good enough, desirable enough. It hurt to think that Ymir didn’t want her like that.

When Ymir returned with the pizza, Historia struggled against her tears. She ate quietly, staying away from Ymir, and sorted out her own feelings. Ymir didn’t seem inclined to start a conversation, so they only watched TV. It was getting closer and closer to when they would need to head off to bed, and Historia didn’t want to cry herself to sleep or go to sleep feeling upset, so she resolved to ask Ymir directly. Ymir returned from the bathroom, face drawn downwards, and Historia stopped her in the hallway.

“We need to talk,” she said sternly, arms crossed over her chest. “Right now.”

Ymir blinked, but she straightened and nodded. “Yeah.”

Historia sucked in a breath. “Do you…” She cleared her throat. “Ymir, don’t you want to have sex with me?”

Ymir looked away uncomfortably, looking a little alarmed. Historia wanted to fall into her arms and soothe her frown away, but she was also really upset and hurt, and they needed to talk this out before they could move on. “I do,” Ymir finally answered. “I really do.”

“Then why?” she urged. “I’m not saying I’m demanding or expecting it of you, I’d never. But back there I thought… I mean, the way you were kissing me…”

Ymir rubbed her cheek. “Yeah, that was the point.”

“So why did you pull away like that?” Historia resisted the urge to reach out and touch her. “Is it me? Am I the problem here? Did I do something? Am I _not_ doing something?”

Ymir shook her head. “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just… I’m scared. I do want you like that, Historia. I’m sorry.”

The tears came without her consent, washing over her cheeks. Both irritation and relief. She wanted to hit Ymir and kiss her, but instead Ymir leaned forward and embraced her. Historia pressed her cheek to Ymir’s chest, sniffling and sobbing.

“I’m sorry,” she uttered.

“No, I’m sorry,” Ymir countered. “I hurt you, didn’t I? I’m just not ready yet. Soon, I promise. But not now.”

Historia nodded. She buried her face against Ymir’s shirt and inhaled her smell, calming greatly afterwards. Ymir lifted her up and carried her into the lounge, where they sat down on the couch and curled around each other.

“Want to watch a movie?” Ymir asked.

Historia wiped the last of her tears away, and found it within herself to smile. “I’d like that.”


	47. Chapter 47

Ymir’s kisses were like mugs of hot chocolate on an icy morning, like a fire in the hearth on a chilly evening. They burned every inch of Historia’s skin and left her aching for more, yet they were still somehow enough. Ymir’s embraces reminded Historia of a jersey her father had given her when she was five, one that was too big but so fluffy that it had both engulfed her and kept her warm. Ymir made her feel at home.

Historia lay in bed, staring silently at Ymir’s sleeping face. It was her last day with Ymir, so she intended to enjoy it. Luckily Ymir hadn’t seen any problem with them sharing her bed, so Historia had the luxury of cuddling with her and simply being as close to her as physically possible. She thought about their conversation, of Ymir’s admittance that she was not ready. It was difficult holding the disappointment at bay. She had never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Ymir, but she needed to wait and so she would.

“Mm,” Ymir groaned softly. She shifted and turned onto her side, bringing them chest to chest. Historia leaned back in time to avoid a head-butt, but she inched closer again until she could brush her lips against Ymir’s nose, cheeks and forehead. Ymir’s eyebrows scrunched together and then she turned onto her back again, sighing.

“ _Fem minuter,_ ” she mumbled groggily.

Historia held back a chuckle. “Ymir?” She pressed closer and ran a hand through Ymir’s hair, easing her slowly into waking. “It’s just me and I have no idea what you said.”

Ymir sighed again, but she seemed to have woken up enough. Her eyes blinked open and she yawned. “ _What?_ ” The word came it sharply, accented and groggy. The ‘w’ became a ‘v’, and Historia became a blushing mess.

“G-good morning,” she uttered softly. Ymir’s brows furrowed and she narrowed her eyes, but then her expression cleared as realization dawned.

“Morning,” she mumbled. “Did I throw some _Svenska_ at you?”

Historia found herself grinning. She scooted closer and nodded. “Yeah, and a little bit of an accent. You still have it?”

Ymir yawned and stretched, bringing her long arm around Historia’s body. “Yeah, sometimes. How did you sleep?”

Historia’s thighs squeezed together. _Aroused and wet,_ she wanted to say, thanks to a very explicit dream staring one Ymir Wikström. Hearing Ymir’s natural speech wasn’t doing much to dampen the fire, though. Well, it was certainly dampening _something._ She blushed along with her thoughts and considered pulling away from Ymir’s tantalizingly warm body, but Ymir cuddled a little closer and all thoughts of moving away fled from her mind.

“Fine,” she answered instead, flustered. “You?”

Ymir flashed that cocksure grin that Historia both hated and loved. “Really well with you here,” she drawled. Historia detected faint hints of desire in her voice, though she decided to take that on as wishful thinking on her part. Ymir had confessed that she was not ready and Historia accepted that, as much as she really craved that deep intimacy that only sex could give her. Swallowing, Historia reached out and gently cupped Ymir’s cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

Ymir’s smirk turned into a gentle smile. She took the initiative herself and leaned forward, capturing Historia’s lips in a kiss that made her legs jelly and ruined her underwear. From the first kiss to this, Ymir’s lips drove her mad. She still wasn’t sure how someone with no experience could kiss so expertly. Sure, in the beginning Ymir had been a little rocky on what to do, but she seemed to have studied the way Historia kissed, for there was no fumbling lips and over eager tongue. Ymir took hold of her mouth like an experienced warrior would a sword. It turned her on to pain. Historia couldn’t contain herself and crawled on top of Ymir, feeling her nostrils flare and heartrate spike.

“Ymir,” she groaned lowly. She throbbed, from fingertips to between her legs.

XxX

Ymir inhaled sharply. Her name, moaned so eagerly from Historia’s lips clouded her already foggy mind. Something about seeing Historia so open and relaxed in the morning set her on fire. When Historia asked if they could kiss, Ymir had been more than eager. Now with Historia on top of her, Ymir felt like she had died and gone to heaven. Instead of feeling panicked, like she should have, Ymir welcomed the step forward. She gripped onto Historia’s hips and kissed a little harder, conveying the intensity of what she felt.

 _God, I’m so horny,_ she thought with a blush. _I’ve never been like this before. What is she doing to me?_

She let her fingertips do as they pleased, and slid her hands from Historia’s hips to underneath her sleep shirt. She caressed the soft, warm skin of Historia’s belly and enjoyed the sudden breath Historia took.

“Y-Ymir,” she groaned.

Ymir couldn’t control herself. She flipped them over, settling between Historia’s legs, and kissed her throat, her jaw and cheeks and finally, achingly, her lips. Her lone hand trailed along Historia’s stomach, twirling and dragging and pulling forth needy gasps and sensual moans. Ymir was high on the knowledge that she could illicit such responses from Historia, a girl that looked so innocent that any hint of her sexuality could be erotic. To Ymir, at least. It made even her toes tingle. The passion flowing through her veins threatened to greatly overwhelm and consume her, but she was swept away in what Historia made her feel.

Finally she made it to the swell of a breast. Before any fear or hesitance could stop her, Ymir lifted her hand and covered Historia’s bare breast. She felt the point of a stiff nipple press against her palm, and suddenly realized exactly what she had done. Historia moaned in appreciation, a hand at the back of Ymir’s neck encouraging her to continue. She wanted to. Oh how badly she wanted to imprint herself on every inch of Historia’s skin. But the fear slithered on back, halting her movements and sending ice through her burning veins. Historia’s chest heaved against her hand, so Ymir wrenched it away and sat up, embarrassed. She caught the beautiful sight of Historia’s breasts bare and ready, before turning her face away and staring at the wall.

“Sorry,” she panted. “I… um…” She grappled for what to say. It wasn’t at all that she wasn’t ready in the virgin sense. She was terrified. What if she took that final leap, that act that would forever stain her body and soul, and then Historia up and left? Ymir’s mind filled with negative thoughts, sending her heart careening into her stomach. Panic welled up. Terrible panic. What if this was all Historia wanted from her? What if what if what if—

“Ymir?”

A soft touch at her cheek brought Ymir crashing down. She hadn’t realized that she was hyperventilating. Historia gazed at her with concern written plainly in her eyes.

“Ymir, it’s okay,” Historia whispered gently. “We don’t have to. I’m sorry I let things get carried away. I’m right here.” She lifted Ymir’s hand and pressed it to her cheek. The warmth there grounded Ymir, brought her back.

 _I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time_ , she thought mutedly, staring into Historia’s eyes. “You must mean a lot to me,” she found herself blurting. It was meant to be an inner revelation, but apparently her brain to mouth filter had broken. She blushed brightly at the widening of Historia’s eyes.

“You do?”

She looked away, ashamed with herself. These were issues with herself. Brought on by years of feeling like a burden, a freak and a waste of oxygen. Ymir had long since learnt to forgive herself, of things that were never her fault. Why was it all rushing back now?

Much to Ymir’s immense relief, Ilse knocked loudly on the bedroom door. “Time to wake up, sleeping beauties!” she called. “Time for breakfast, and then I need to take Historia home.”

Ymir and Historia shared a long look. Historia looked disappointed, hurt. There was no doubt that she wanted some sort of explanation.

“Ymir—”

“Let’s go,” Ymir interrupted. “Ilse doesn’t like waiting.” She hopped off the bed and made her way towards her cupboard to find clean clothes to wear. She felt Historia’s gaze at her back. She knew that she was being rude, but she couldn’t help it.

She would talk to Historia about it. Eventually. Just… not yet.

XxX

A rift formed between them. Ymir hated herself for it, but she couldn’t stop herself. After their moment in her room, she found herself panicked at any sort of physical contact from Historia. It was the fear of enjoying it too much, of there being an expectation. Each time she avoided a kiss or a hug, or when she gently pulled away from Historia’s hand, she saw the hurt in Historia’s eyes, the doubt. Sasha seemed to notice too, but for once she kept her big mouth shut. When two weeks passed by, Ymir and Historia had hardly spoken and she was absolutely miserable.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Ilse asked cautiously. She plopped down on the couch and reached for the TV remote. When Ymir didn’t argue with her changing the channel, Ilse lifted a brow in concern. “Okay, something is really wrong here. Ymir, what is it?”

Ymir sighed. She was curled in on herself, for the first time in years, feeling small. “I…” _I’m fine,_ she almost said. But Ilse would know it was a lie, and the lie would hurt her. “I’ve been having minor panic attacks,” she confessed. “For the past two weeks.”

“Oh, honey.” Ilse slid closer and wrapped her arms around Ymir. “What happened? Are things going bad between you and Historia?”

Ymir felt tears press at her eyes. It wasn’t easy crying, especially not in front of other people. But Ilse’s embrace, her support and gentle gaze, made the dam break. She didn’t sob at all, just sniffled like an idiot and wiped angrily at her cheeks. “Yeah. And it’s my fault.”

Ilse pressed her cheek to the top of Ymir’s head. “Talk to me.”

“I…” She took a shuddering breath. “I’m terrified of being intimate with her, Ilse.”

“And why is that?”

“I feel like… like maybe that’s all she wants, you know? When we kiss, it’s the most amazing feeling in the world, and I want more, so badly, but when it starts going there, I just freeze up. I panic. What if she gets what she wants, and she leaves?”

Ilse tsked. “Besides my discomfort at you being intimate with anyone at all, ‘cause you’re my baby sister, I think it’s a valid concern. So you haven’t had sex yet?”

Ymir blushed. “No.”

Ilse sighed. “Look, I think the smart thing to do would be to wait. You’re still so young, Ymir. So very young. Historia might not even be your forever after. You date so many people growing up.”

Ymir sat up, upset. “I want Historia forever, though.”

“Does she want you like that too?

“I… I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you talk to her, sweetheart? I know I was hard on her at first, but she seems to really care about you. I see the way she looks at you. If I didn’t like her so much, I’d probably have ripped her boobs off for trying to get into your pants.”

Ymir snorted. Her sadness slowly melted away, replaced by the safety and comfort that Ilse always provided. “That was the weirdest sentence you have ever said.”

“It’s my parental right, you know. To say weird things when it comes to your safety.”

“You’re right. I know I should talk to her. I’m just really scared.”

Ilse rustled her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “God, you’ve grown so much. I don’t want to let you go at all. I know I can’t tell you not to, so I’ll just ask you to make sure that you’re sure. Sex is… well, when feelings are involved, it becomes very serious. You aren’t too young. You’re nearly an adult now. Just… be safe, okay? And come to me if you have any questions.”

Ymir felt leagues better. Ilse had a gift of that. Probably from the years of having to soothe Ymir out of whatever panic attack gripped her next. Ymir had been a very timid, scared child. Now she was changed, _stronger._ It was time she acted like it.

 _Tomorrow,_ she thought. _Tomorrow I’ll talk to Historia. I’ll tell her how I feel._


	48. Chapter 48

Ymir was beyond nervous. Though she had steeled herself to talk to Historia, she couldn’t yet bring herself to utter the words. They met at the school gate as usual, but did not hug in greeting. Historia’s smile was as strained as ever, making Ymir’s heart twinge in pain. When they neared their class, Ymir reached out and gently took Historia’s hand.

“Hey,” she started. “I know you’re mad at me.”

Historia looked down at their linked hands, frowning. “I’m not mad, Ymir. Just hurt.”

That was even worse. “I know. I’m sorry. I…” She stopped short, not sure how to continue. Was now the right time? The bell had already rung. Students loitered around them, some eyeing them but most passing by to head on to class. Ymir still felt her fear like a hard knot in her stomach. It was silly of her, she knew that. “Can we talk, about what happened?”

Historia gave her a nod. “I think we need that.”

Ymir smiled. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Historia’s forehead. “Thank you for understanding.”

“I love you Ymir, so I’ll try my best.”

Ymir pulled away. “That’s more than I get from most.”

She glanced away, feeling lighter now that she had set up _the talk,_ and spotted Reiner rounding the corner with Mina and Hitch at his side. He was staring down at his phone, a little grin on his lips. Hitch leaned over to ogle his screen, but he blushed and pulled away, yelling.

“Back off, Spongebob!”

“Who was that?” Hitch countered. “Is that your crush?”

“What? Pfft, no.”

“It so is.”

Hitch was cackling like an evil witch as they passed by. Ymir watched them, curious, and caught Reiner’s eyes. His grin slipped away, his eyes dropped to Historia, then he glanced away as if ashamed. When he glanced at them again, Ymir gave him a subtle nod. His lips twitched into a broken smile, but he nodded back.

“Are you becoming friends with the big bad Reiner?” Historia asked quietly, grinning in amusement.

Ymir flushed, but she kept her expression neutral. “What, that beef cake? Never.”

“That was totally a bro nod I just saw.”

“Was not.”

“Was.”

“Will be!” Sasha shouted suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. “Why are we talking past tense?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “No reason. We weren’t doing anything.”

Sasha eyed the two of them. “Are you guys okay now? Is the sudden, random angst over? Can I go back to enjoying my carefree days?”

Historia glanced at her, grinning softly. “I think we’ll be okay.” She offered her hand, if a bit hesitant.

Ymir stared at it. Okay, hand holding she could do. That wouldn’t escalate into sudden sex. She needed to stop overreacting the whole time. Taking in a short breath, she took Historia’s hand and tugged her closer, immediately grateful for the warmth of her small body.

“Oh thank god,” Sasha exclaimed loudly. “Connie owes me fifty bucks.”

“What?” Historia exclaimed. “You guys bet on us?”

Sasha pretended not to hear. She hurried to her class, acting as though Mike had called her, but really she was being a huge shit. Ymir sent her a lifted brow and Historia glared, but Sasha merely cackled and disappeared.

“Ladies, if you would so grace us with your presence,” Hanji spoke from the doorway. “I have a few announcements for you guys.”

They let go of each other quickly, both blushing. Hanji grinned in amusement at their embarrassment and watched them as they entered the classroom. As soon as they were seated, she began her announcements. But as expected, they were all boring. Ymir, however, couldn’t stop staring at Historia.

XxX

Ymir had planned for them to head over to Titan Falls, where they would talk it out and she could explain her hesitance. But Historia got a sudden call from her mother to have lunch together, and since that rarely ever happened, Historia agreed without a thought. She apologized, though there was absolutely no reason for her to. Ymir was really happy for her. So she decided to head on to Titan Falls on her own.

It started raining as she walked, suddenly reminding Ymir of the day Reiner had nearly strangled her to death. She wasn’t sure why that specific memory came to her. It threatened to dampen her already shaky mood, but she decided to shove those thoughts away and plug her earphones in. She was in a bit of a rough mood, so she selected the opening song for an anime she had discovered, from _Nobunagun,_ and sighed happily when the song began and hard guitars blasted in her ears.

_Respect for the dead man,_ the singer screamed.

Ymir arrived at Titan Falls not entirely soaked through. She politely requested her usual table and pulled out her mathematics textbook. It was their last week of actual school. Next week their exams started. Her first one was maths, and it was a three hour exam on Monday morning. Definitely not something she was looking forward to, but at least she finished off that one first. Her second maths exam was somewhere in the fifth exam week. That one she had more than enough time to study for.

Ymir downed two milkshakes and went through most of the work before she realized Ilse hadn’t messaged her yet. She pulled her phone out and scrolled for her sister’s number, and then waited once she pressed call. Ilse picked up on the sixth ring.

“Ymir, I’m so sorry. I needed to head in to work and I didn’t have time to fetch you from Titan Falls. Could one of your friends maybe help you out?”

Ymir toyed with the straw in her empty glass. “I’m here alone. I can walk though.” She considered the thought of messaging Historia for help, but squashed that idea immediately.

“Are you sure? It’s a half hour walk and it’s raining.”

Ymir shrugged even though Ilse couldn’t see her. “I really don’t mind. If I leave now I should get home before it’s too late.”

Ilse sighed. “Thank you, Ymir. I love you more than life itself.”

Ymir grinned. “Love you too, _mom._ ” That made Ilse snort in amusement. “Don’t work yourself to death, alright? I’ll make some dinner for you.”

“You’re the best little sister. Stay safe.”

“You too.”

They said their farewells and hung up. Even though talking to Ilse always lifted Ymir’s mood, she found that she still felt odd after ending the call. Her stomach was tight with tension, as were her shoulders. She flagged down the waitress, payed for her drinks and left Titan Falls with her teeth clenched tightly together. The sooner she got home, the better. She was already anticipating a nice, hot bath, where she could sit and think until her brain hurt. Maybe she would call Historia. Or message her. Anything just to hear her voice, or communicate with her. Ymir’s phone vibrated.

**_Historia:_ ** _Hey you. I’m still so sorry about cancelling. I know you wanted to talk. Could we maybe do it tomorrow after school?_

Ymir grinned.

**_Ymir:_** _Hey yourself. I was just thinking about you. I’m glad that your mother wanted to spend time with you. What did she want? We can talk tomorrow, or whenever you’re free to. I just want to vent some feelings, so there’s no rush._

**_Historia:_** _She wanted to catch up with me, oddly enough. Asked if I’m ready for the exams. Also we went to a really expensive restaurant and they had really, really nice food. I miss you. Did you go to Titan Falls on your own?_

**_Ymir:_ ** _I did_

**_Historia:_ ** _Studied?_

**_Ymir:_ ** _Yup_

**_Historia:_ ** _Lol, that’s so you. I, um, am eager to talk things out with you. I was… I was really scared for those two weeks._

Ymir frowned down at her screen, heart aching. She hadn’t really considered what her cold shoulder must have felt like to Historia. She lifted her thumbs to start tapping out a reply, but something suddenly crashed into her and her phone flipped off into the air. She toppled over immediately, landing flat on her stomach, and gasped loudly in pain. When the air rushed back into her lungs, she scrambled onto her knees and glared the fires of hell up at whatever fucker had just slammed into her.

“Oh, I didn’t see you there,” he mocked, face sick with spite and glee.

“It’s getting a little dark, you blended right in,” his mirror spoke up, her own face contorted in hatred.

Anger gathered in Ymir’s gut. She swiped her phone off the ground, relieved to see the battery hadn’t popped out. Historia was still waiting for a response, but she would so later at home when she didn’t have the douche twins looming over her.

“What the fuck do you want?” she growled. “A round two of your asses handed to you?”

The comment did as she had hoped. Logan’s nostrils flared and Berik’s face darkened. “Oh, we’re here for more than just a street fight.” He inclined his head and from the shadows a group of figures emerged. It only took a second for Ymir to recognize Sam and his sidekicks from a couple months back, when Historia had saved her from one hell of a beating. Sam looked cold and switched off, and when he pulled a blade from his belt, ice filled Ymir’s veins.

“I heard what you did,” Sam started, voice low. “I don’t know what you’re doing to Krista to make her think she likes you. It sickens me. I think Nanaba is really cool, you know? She should be with Krista, not you. Not some freak.”

Ymir hesitantly climbed back onto her feet. This wasn’t the usual fight she found herself in. The knife glinted underneath the street light above them. Night had fallen rather suddenly. She felt her heart squeezing hard in fear. Images of Ilse’s face, of Historia’s and Sasha’s, flashed across her eyes. They would be devastated if something happened to her. Just the thought of Ilse having to lose another family member made the breath leave her lungs. Pain flared up beneath her ribs, sending tears to her eyes. But she would not cry. Not here, not in front of them.

Forcing herself to remain calm, Ymir discreetly hit the record button on her chat with Historia. It only emitted a soft ding to indicate that it had started recording audio, and she was glad that the chatting app allowed Historia to see that she was currently recording something. Hopefully Historia was sitting around waiting for her message.

“Is this really worth it?” she asked loudly, firmly. “Are you going to come at me with that knife? Where is the honour in that? Berik? Logan? Sam?” She looked them all in the eyes. “We’re closer to the mall than you think, you know. You won’t get away with this.”

Berik snorted. He shared a look with his twin. “We’re not here just to taunt you.”

“Or scare you,” Logan continued.

“But here to end you,” Berik growled. “Do you know what that bitch did to me? We’ve both been expelled and no school in this city are willing to enrol us. Our mother lost her job and our father was demoted. Fucking _demoted._ How the fuck is that fair? Where is the honour in _that?_ ”

Ymir’s eyes flicked to the knife. They were serious. They had come here for her blood, her life. Instead of striking her with pure fear, a strange calm overtook Ymir’s body. She slowed her breaths, tightened her stance. Her thumb still sat against the record button. All of them looked ready to pounce, bodies taut and filled with violent aggression. Sam looked like he was on some kind of drug, like he thirsted savagely for her blood.

“Well then,” she started slowly, lifting the phone so that her voice was clear. “Historia, call the police. And know that I love you.”

Berik’s eyes widened when he realized what she was doing. She released her thumb and heard the sound of the audio sending. It started loading as Berik bounded forward, hands outstretched for the phone. Ymir dodged him but didn’t see Logan coming. As she twisted out of Berik’s reach, she landed in Logan’s. A hand clamped hard around Ymir’s, and then the phone left her fingertips and soared through the air. Ymir could only pray that the audio had sent in time before the phone cracked against the road and went black.

“Nice try, bitch,” Logan growled. She wrapped a muscled arm around Ymir’s neck and kicked the back of her knees. Ymir had no power to stop her body from tumbling forward, but Logan’s arm caught her and she choked as her throat flamed in pain.

“Let me cut her,” Sam commented. His group lingered back, though the two Ymir had beaten up seemed amused by the whole ordeal.

“Let her go,” Berik ordered firmly. Logan seemed to hesitate, but she did as she was told and suddenly Ymir could breathe again. She landed on hands and knees, sputtering for breath. There were no words that would save her, so she didn’t bother trying to reason with them. She just barely noticed Berik as he closed in, but then his boot slammed into her face and she flipped over onto her back. Blood spurted out of her nose and trickled from her mouth, but she did not utter a sound of pain. She rolled over immediately and tried to get up, desperate to get away and put some distance between them, but Logan was near and a kick to her abdomen made Ymir see stars. She collapsed forward, pain blurring her vision.

“She’s pathetic,” Logan spat. “All she needed was one surprise move. In a real fight, she isn’t worth shit.”

Ymir moved on pure instinct alone. She was still reeling, but her fear and adrenalin allowed her to swipe out and pull Logan’s feet out from under her. Amusingly, Logan had given Ymir the chance for the surprise move she had been criticising. Berik responded immediately, but Ymir was faster this time. Blood leaked steadily down her face, but she ignored it. This time Sam joined Berik, the knife in front of him. The sight of it gave her hesitance. She needed to be really, really careful with him.

“Do as we planned, alright?” Berik advised him. They shared a glance. “Do it right and the money is yours. And Krista.”

Ymir’s nostrils flared. “ _Historia,_ ” she snarled angrily.

“What was that?” Berik growled.

“Her fucking name is Historia, you bags of dicks. Not Krista.”

Sam started laughing. Berik’s face flushed with anger. “Fuck it,” he growled. “I’m done here. This isn’t even worth it for me. Kill her.” His face hardened. “Do it quickly.”

Ymir’s heart stuttered. Berik went over to Logan and put an arm around her, most likely keeping her from lashing out. He whispered something to her, patted Sam on the shoulder then stepped a small distance away. His grin was sick and expectant, but at least he was excusing himself from the fight. Less for Ymir to focus on.

“What, you’re his lapdog now?” Ymir taunted. She was too angry to keep her tongue. “Doing what daddy Berik says?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sam yelled. “This knife will slice you in two. I’m not afraid to use it, freak.”

Ymir straightened her stance. Sam darted forward and swiped out with the knife. For a second Ymir could swear that she heard the air ringing against the sharp blade, and imagines of it slicing into her flesh made her steps falter. Sam twisted around with the knife and it caught her on the upper arm, biting into her clothing and skin. She hissed at the hot flash of pain, but dodged again to avoid a knife to the face. Sam started laughing hysterically.

“I’ve always wanted to do this,” Sam admitted. His hand was now quivering and wet with Ymir’s blood.

Ymir swallowed thickly. She could feel her blood dripping from her fingertips. “Great,” she muttered to herself. “He’s totally lost his fucking mind.”

Sam lunged for her again. His movements were too fast and too brutal. His blows were powerful, and it took every ounce of strength Ymir had to catch his arm or wrist and either deflect it or hold it at bay. They did a dance of violence, the blade singing through the air, Ymir’s blood scattering on the black tar. He managed to get a few cuts in, shallow and inconsequential. Ymir hardly felt them, but her exhaustion was mounting. She wasn’t sure if it was the adrenalin or the loss of blood, possibly both. Sam only seemed to gain in energy. He advanced more eagerly with every step. His next swing made her lose balance, and then he swung at her face and she was too slow to react. The blade sliced across her cheek and brow, directly above the scar Reiner had left. Ymir fell backwards, gritting her teeth hard at the pain. Blood pooled and dribbled down her face and into her eyes. She angrily wiped the blood away, but it wasn’t enough. Sam kicked her down and stepped down on her, hard.

Ymir dropped her arms to her sides, eyes blind from the blood, chest heaving. She ached and felt dizzy. Her heart thumped unevenly with every beat. She thought absently of Historia, and wondered what she was doing. Had she listened to the audio? Had she taken it seriously? Was this really it?

“Time for lights out,” Sam told her nastily. The pressure of his heavy shoe increased. He dropped down on top of her, then he gripped the hilt of his blade in both hands. Through Ymir’s blurry vision, she watched his pale skin and blown pupils, the crazed look in his eyes. He drew both arms back, grin stretching wide. Ymir was too exhausted and weak to do anything but wait for the killing blow, but it never came.

A figure burst out of the darkness, tackling Sam onto the ground. The knife clattered onto the ground and slid away.

“Who the fuck?” someone yelled, panicked.

“Shit, run!”

“What’s going on?”

“Doesn’t matter, fucking run!”

“Berik!”

Ymir tried to rub the blood from her eyes again, but they stung. She managed to clear enough of her vision to see that whoever had tackled Sam was pounding a fist into his face. Sam cried out for mercy, but Ymir’s saviour ignored him. When Sam went limp, the figure moved away from him. Ymir caught the sound of laboured breathing and shoes crunching on loose gravel.

“Ymir?”

A car drove by quickly, sending a flash of light across blue eyes and blonde hair. Ymir was confused for a long instant, but that gave way to strange relief. Ymir reached out for him, but her strength gave way and she collapsed.

“Ymir!” he dropped down by her side, panicked. “Shit. Did they stab you? Where are you hurt?”

Ymir covered her face with an arm. “Reiner,” she choked out. “Arm. Cut me deep. Lost a lot of blood. H…” She swallowed thickly. “Help, please.”

Reiner exhaled loudly. Ymir thought that maybe he would pull his phone out and call someone. She didn’t expect for him to sweep her up into his arms and then stand, her full weight on his arms.

“What are you doing?” she rasped.

“Carrying you to safety,” he bit out. “So shut up and enjoy the ride.”

Ymir found the strength to snort. “I can’t believe Reiner is carrying me bridal style.”

Reiner glanced down at her. There was genuine fear and worry on his face. “I can’t believe you almost got yourself killed.”

Ymir stilled and quieted. His breaths were becoming harsher and heavier, indicating that she definitely weighed more than he was accustomed to carrying. She wondered if she was getting blood on him, but realized that it didn’t really matter. Her mind felt fuzzy, clogged up. She let her head loll back and stared up at the sky. The stars were out, shining bright and peacefully. They did not know of her worry. They did not care.

“I’m sorry,” she uttered softly. Reiner looked at her again.

“Just stay with me, Ymir,” he urged. “I will not forgive you if you die tonight.”

Ymir choked on a breath. The pain mounted and threatened to knock her out. She felt the edges of black at her vision, but stopped fighting it. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Me too.”

She blacked out to the sound of Reiner’s voice, but for the life of her, she could no longer discern what he was saying. It all fell away to nothing.


	49. Chapter 49

“…and know that I love you.”

Historia’s blood ran cold. She had been smiling when she pressed play on the voice recording, but by the end of it pure terror raced through her veins. She was still in the car with her mother and they were on their way home, but Mrs Reiss must have noticed her sudden change in emotion.

“Historia?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

Historia pulled her earphone out. She tapped out a message, begging Ymir to respond. But the app claimed Ymir had gone offline. “Mother…” she said, tearfully. “Ymir is in trouble. We need to turn around.” She twisted in the seat, tears streaming down her face. Her entire body was shaking, but her hands were the worst. “Please! Right now!”

Mrs Reiss’ face filled with worry. “Where to?”

Historia’s mind went blank for a second, but she remembered what Ymir had said. “The mall!” She knew Ymir lived east of the mall, and since she mentioned that they were close enough, she most likely wasn’t waiting in the parking lot. Mrs Reiss didn’t question her further and turned the car around.

Historia needed to pull it together. Did they really have a knife? Ymir could handle herself. While Mrs Reiss drove, Historia quickly called the police and the ambulance. They assured her they would respond quickly. When the mall peaked in the horizon, Historia’s phone buzzed with a call. It was Reiner. At first she considered ignoring it, not in the mood for his moping, but something told her to take the call. She would be glad that she did.

“Reiner?”

“Historia!” He sounded winded and panicked. “I’m with Ymir.”

Historia’s heart lurched. “What happened? Is she okay?”

“We’re at the hospital.”

“Oh god.” She covered her mouth with her hand, tears falling harder. “Is she…?”

“She’ll be okay, His’. She just needs you here right now. Her worst injury is a deep cut on her arm, but she lost a lot of blood. She’s in EC right now, waiting for some doctors.”

Historia sagged in relief. Mrs Reiss was shooting her looks. Historia’s phone was pretty loud, so Mrs Reiss could probably hear Reiner speaking as well, because she turned right and headed for Maria Hospital.

“I’m on my way,” she choked out.

Reiner took a breath. “Hurry.” He hung up before she could say anything else.

They arrived at the hospital five minutes later. Historia raced out of the car before it had even stopped, though Mrs Reiss didn’t say anything to stop her. She ran into the hospital, a little more than frantic, eyes darting around for any sign of Reiner. She saw him exit the elevator and head towards her. There was blood all over him, making Historia’s heart squeeze in pain.

“Reiner!” She ran to him. He reached out and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. They were still shaking and covered in blood, but his palms were warm. “Where is she?”

“Still in EC. Doctors were checking her injuries, but they said she didn’t lose enough blood to need a transfusion, thank god. She passed out again, though. Doctor says it’s probably due to the shock. Did you call Ymir’s family?”

Historia shook her head and fumbled for her phone. That should have been the first thing after calling the police. Ilse had to know immediately. She took Reiner’s hand and pulled him with her into the parking lot. Ilse answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Ilse, it’s Historia. Something happened to Ymir.”

Ilse went quiet. “Ymir?”

“She was attacked. I’m at the hospital now, and—”

The call suddenly ended. Historia had no doubt that Ilse was rushing over, so she exhaled and pocketed her phone. “How did you find her?” she asked Reiner, voice still wavering.

“I was jogging,” he started. “I usually jog to the mall for some milk or whatever we need, then jog back. Two birds with one stone, you know? Then I saw this group of people, and someone was down on their back. I thought it was just a gang fighting or something, but I saw the knife. I ran closer and recognized Ymir. I tackled the guy off of her and the others all ran away. She…” His eyes clouded over and fixed on the dark sky. “There was so much blood. I picked her up and carried her to the mall, where one of the staff called the ambulance for us. Apparently they were already on their way, so they got Ymir here pretty quickly.”

Historia was sniffing back more tears. She wiped at her face, forcing herself to remain strong. Reiner’s arm covered her shoulders, pulling her close to him. She really needed the support, despite all the blood on him. It didn’t matter. It was Ymir’s blood.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “You saved her life.”

Reiner shook his head. “I owed that to her. I’m just glad I was there. I can’t imagine if… if I hadn’t, and they managed to kill her.”

A shudder passed through Historia. Her grief and sorrow turned to white, hot anger. She gently pulled away from Reiner and watched her mother walk up to them. Mrs Reiss was still as beautiful as ever, despite the crease of uncertainty at her brow.

“Ymir said names,” she told Reiner. “She mentioned Berik, Logan and Sam. Were they really there?”

Reiner nodded. “Yeah. Berik and Logan were just watching and Sam was the one on top of her. As soon as his lackeys saw me, they bolted. Berik looked like he wanted to stop me, but I’m much stronger than him.”

She nodded. “Mother.” Mrs Reiss paused in front of her. “I have the names of the people that attacked Ymir.”

Mrs Reiss’ eyebrow lifted. “Oh?”

A dark shadow passed over Historia’s face. Anger boiled and coiled in her gut. “I want you and father to make them feel the consequences.”

She glanced up to gauge her mother’s reaction, and was pleased to see an amused grin. Reiner looked on warily, but he didn’t say anything.

“Are you sure you want us to do that?” Mrs Reiss asked, though by her tone Historia knew that she didn’t mind at all.

“Yes.” She clenched her hands tightly. “They nearly took Ymir’s life. No one gets away with that.”

Mrs Reiss nodded. “I’ll start making calls then.” She walked off with her sleek phone in hand.

“That isn’t like you,” Reiner commented softly. “To ask for something like that.”

“No, this isn’t like Krista.” She gave him a sharp stare. “And I sure as hell am not Krista. Can you take me to Ymir now?”

Reiner nodded. He led her back into the hospital and down a long passageway to emergency care. There Ymir lay in bed, eyes open but lidded as she stared up at the ceiling. She had bandages covering her left upper arm and half of her face. Historia’s heart dropped down into her stomach and it felt like it was being eaten up by acid. Fresh tears filled Historia’s eyes.

“Ymir,” she called out softly.

Ymir tried to lift her head, but she seemed too tired. Historia hurried to her side and took her hand. She looked far too pale, but her gaze was strong and she smiled. “Historia,” she drawled softly. “You got my message.”

“Of course I did.” Historia wiped the tears from her face. “Thank you for thinking to send it. If you hadn’t…”

Ymir’s smile dropped away and she furrowed her brows, but winced in pain. Slowly she sat up. “He kicked me in the face,” she explained softly. “But I don’t have a concussion. Just a bitch of a headache. No broken ribs, either, just bruised. I was told the cut on my arm is pretty deep. There’s muscle damage. But I’m alive.”

“Will you…” She swallowed. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah. I will need surgery, though. They need to stitch it back up. Did you call Ilse?”

Historia nodded. “Yeah. She should be on her way.”

Ymir sighed and eased herself back down onto the bed. “She is going to be so mad at me,” she admitted. “And she’s going to blame herself.”

Historia didn’t know what to say in response. She was just so glad that Ymir was okay. Bruised and battered, but alive. She would live. Her wounds would heal and before she knew it, she would be back to her tall, sexy self. Historia’s grip on her hand tightened.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” she confessed tearfully.

Ymir reached out and gently cupped her cheek. “I know, me too.”

“Ymir…”

There was really nothing else to say. The intensity of her emotions overwhelmed her. Despite her many injuries and the fact that she was really tired, Ymir pulled her in for a hug and held onto her tightly. Historia wasn’t sure if Ymir was crying too, but she was breathing hard and shivering.

“Historia, when this is over,” she said, voice soft and gentle, “marry me.”

It wasn’t even an absurd thought to her. Historia gave out a gentle laugh, but she was still crying and she nodded vigorously. “You really mean that?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Okay, I’ll marry you. Can I kiss you?”

Ymir pulled away, grinning slightly. “Gently. My face has been through a lot today.”

Historia first kissed her forehead, very careful not to stray too close to the wound there. “Your pretty face,” she groaned softly, intending to lighten the mood. Luckily Ymir took the bait and cracked a grin.

“I think I’ll be quite dashing with this long scar on my face. Wanna see it?”

She hesitate, but ultimately she was curious. When she nodded Ymir gingerly peeled the large plaster aside, showing a long gash from cheekbone to the middle of her forehead. It looked horrid.

“Oh my god, Ymir.”

“Not that deep,” Ymir assured her. “Plastic surgeon said it wouldn’t even scar that bad.”

She kissed Ymir on the lips. “I’m sorry that this happened to you.”

Ymir sighed. She stuck the plaster back down and settled comfortably on the bed. They remained silent after that. A nurse dropped by with a clean shirt for Reiner, and offered him some hand wash to get rid of the blood. He did so with a thanks, and when he returned he looked a little less like a madman. He didn’t intrude on them, though, but he hovered. It was almost as if he was afraid Berik would come back to finish the job. Historia really appreciated his presence.

God, what would she have done if Ymir hadn’t been so lucky?

XxX

The pain was manageable now, thanks to the pain meds the doctors had given her. Historia had just excused herself to use the restroom, so Ymir had a moment to herself. Reiner had gone home a little while ago, though he hadn’t wanted to. Apparently his parents weren’t fond of him staying out over midnight. Ymir thanked him with all her heart, though. Ilse walked into the room then, eyes red rimmed from crying. She immediately dropped down in the seat Historia had vacated and took Ymir’s hand.

“Doctor says you need surgery to mend that torn muscle. You’ll need to stay a day or two after, then you can come home.”

Ymir rubbed her thumb over Ilse’s bony wrist. “ _I’m sorry, sister,_ ” she said in Swedish. Her voice flooded with emotion. “ _I should have been more careful.”_

“Idiot,” Ilse shot back. “You shouldn’t apologize for this. I…”

Ymir glared at her. “Don’t blame yourself, please.”

Ilse rubbed a tired hand over her face. “Fine, I’ll try. You don’t blame yourself either, then. Alright? Other people did this to us. Shitty people. I swear, if I get my hands on those fu—” She cut herself off, face darkening with anger. Ilse took a deep breath, close her eyes tight, then relaxed her shoulders. “I’m just so glad you’re okay.” She reached out and cupped Ymir’s face in her hands, very gentle with the side covered. “You are my world, Ymir.”

Ymir grinned happily, chest warming. Nothing made her feel more valued than Ilse doing this, saying these things. This was what motherly love felt like. Ilse transcended ‘sister’. “I couldn’t leave you all to your lonesome, could I?” she joked. She reached out and mirrored Ilse, cupping her face. “You’re my world too. I love you, Ilse.”

“That’s what I needed to hear.” She started tearing up again. Ymir released her face and tugged her into a bone crushing hug, one that allowed Ilse to release all the sorrow and anger that had built up for years. Ilse sobbed against her shoulder and Ymir urged it all out. When Ilse finished, she was pink in the cheeks from embarrassment, but she looked a little lighter for it.

“Thank you.”

Ymir winked. “It was my duty as your sister.”

“Dork.”

Historia stepped tentatively into the room, eyeing them. She held out a bottled water for Ymir, smiling. “I thought you’d be thirsty.”

Ymir took the water with a thanks. While she twisted the cap off and took a huge gulp, she watched Ilse turn to look at Historia. She had an idea.

“Ilse,” she called out, capping the bottle. “Will you be our best woman?”

Ilse whirled around. “Your what?”

“I proposed to Historia,” she explained, all seriousness. “And she said yes.”

Ilse whirled back around to stare at Historia, eyes wide and bugging out. “YOU WHAT?”

Ymir started snickering and Historia went bright red. “N-not right away!” she tried to explain, glaring at Ymir now. “When we’re done with school and ready. I wouldn’t… I mean…”

Ymir snorted loudly in her amusement, but her face flared in pain and that cut her laughter short. She knew Ilse would have slapped her upside the head had she not been in the hospital, getting ready for surgery.

“So, when are they gonna fix me up?”

Ilse glanced up at the time. “They booked you for surgery tomorrow morning. Get some rest. And you,” she pointed at Historia, “need some rest too. Where is your mother?”

“She said I could stay here.”

“Come home with me then. We’ll drive back in the morning to meet Ymir out of surgery.”

Historia’s face soured at the thought of leaving, much to Ymir’s pleasure, but she knew not to argue. Ymir was insanely tired, having had to stay away for the doctors and the police that came by to ask questions. She really needed to sleep.

“I’ll be fine,” she assured. “I’m a big girl.”

Both Ilse and Historia rolled their eyes. “If you need anything, you big idiot, call me,” Ilse said.

Ymir grinned at her. “I will.”

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you too,” Historia chipped in.

Ymir couldn’t help her laugh. “I’m the most loved woman on earth.”

They left smiling. The moment they disappeared, Ymir’s expression melted into discomfort. She couldn’t wait until everything had healed up and she could go back to normal. God, it hurt.

XxX

The surgery went successfully. Ymir spent the next two days in hospital, giving the nurses and doctors a hard time. Historia spent as much time there as possible, but Ilse had to return to work. When it was time for Historia to leave, she slept over by Ymir’s house. Ymir was finally discharged on the third day, and although she was still in pain with her arm and face, she was relieved to get out of the hospital. Her arm was in a sling, so she held onto Historia’s hand with her free one.

“I missed the sunlight,” she commented dryly.

“Ymir, you were just there for three days.”

“Three days too many.”

Ilse turned to them, brows raised. “Alright, ladies. We’re here. Remember the rules, alright?”

Ymir rolled her eyes. “Ilse, it’s just an exam. No one is going to jump out and attack me. Promise.” Ilse glared. “Oh, fine. The moment I’m done, Historia will call her mom to pick us up and we’ll go straight home.”

Satisfied, Ilse unlocked the door and watched them climb out. They met around the front of the car and linked hands, smiling. Reiner pushed away from the school gate, eyes fierce, but he was smiling.

“Welcome back, Freckles,” he greeted.

Ymir let Historia go and pulled Reiner into a one armed hug. He seemed surprised, but he hugged her back, though gently. His grin stretched wide when he pulled back. Behind him Ymir spotted Hitch and Mina, and though Mina seemed more interested in her newly manicured nails, Hitch seemed nervous. She bounded over quickly, gave Ymir a hesitant hug, and then retreated from her body.

“Sorry to hear what happened and shit,” she drawled. “Sounds like it was hell.”

Ymir knew her eyebrows were drawn high, though the one drooped a little due to the stitches. It looked ugly for the moment, long and red, but it would heal in time. The bruise along her jaw looked bad as well, but Ymir decided not to care. They were badges that showed she had survived. “Thanks, Noodles.”

Hitch rolled her eyes.

And just like that, the gaps between them closed up. Despite the ordeal, Ymir felt lighter than ever. Historia took her hand again and they walked into the school as one group. Nanaba joined them at the quad, concerned and horrified at Ymir’s state. Sasha was much the same, but neither seemed that bothered by the occupants of the group. Together they walked over to the examination hall, all eyes on them, on Ymir’s injuries.

But Ymir didn’t really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy fuck next chapter is the epilogue


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (psst guys if you wanna request Howl oneshots you can totally do so on my tumblr at danilovesanimenel)

Historia stood in the kitchen, dutifully making small sandwiches and spiking pieces of sausage and blocks of cheese on sticks, getting ready for when everyone would arrive. She looked absolutely lovely in a pair of white shorts and a light blue t-shirt that exposed her shoulders and slightly muscular arms. Her hair was up in a bun, exposing the creamy column of her neck. Ymir sauntered over to her, heart thumping and chest tight with emotion. Historia hummed when Ymir wrapped her arms around her.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked in a sing-song voice.

Historia snorted. “Making snacks, what does it look like? Is the braai ready?”

Ymir pressed her cheek to Historia’s, pretending to stare down at the bits of cheese with curiosity, but really she was just pressing herself up against Historia. “Yup. Got the coals burning. It should be ready in an hour or so.”

“So you are useful after all,” Historia joked.

Ymir hummed in agreement. She pressed a soft kiss to Historia’s cheek. “You know what, suddenly I’m very hungry.” She lowered her lips, peppering kisses along Historia’s jaw down to her throat. Historia’s hands paused in their mechanical movements, and she very slightly leaned back into Ymir’s body.

“Oh?” Historia breathed. “Well, there’s some cheese here if you want.”

Ymir bit down on her shoulder so very lightly, chest rumbling with a growl. “Not for food,” she clarified, voice husky. “For you.”

XxX

Historia shivered at the tone of desire. Part of her maintained that she needed to get the snacks finished, but most of her had no worries about abandoning the task. She dropped the food, wiped her hands off on a dish towel and twisted around to face Ymir. She had showered, and so her brown hair stuck up all over the place. She had it shorter now, just to her ears, but it made her look a little more mature. The scar at her brow and cheek was white, but it slowly turned pink as Ymir’s face flushed. Historia loved that scar. It made Ymir look that much fiercer than her stature already did, but it also allowed Historia a little sneak into Ymir’s emotions. When angry or embarrassed or turned on, that scar turned pink. When she was cold, it turned a hint of blue.

Historia pulled her face down and kissed along the long scar. Ymir’s breaths came out short and fast, and when Historia was done, her pupils were blown wide. “For me?” she breathed.

Ymir smirked naughtily. “We have twenty minutes left,” she said.

Historia eyed their kitchen clock. Sure enough, in twenty minutes their friends would start to arrive. “You sure twenty is enough?” Her tone was light but teasing, and it had its desired effect. Ymir’s eyes darkened.

Ymir picked her up, turned them around and set her gently down on the empty counter top. Her hands cupped Historia’s face and she kissed her, hard and urgent. Historia’s heart skipped many beats and heat rushed down along her body, ending right between her legs. She squeezed her thighs hard against Ymir’s hips, letting her know just how hot she suddenly felt.

“What brought this on?” she gasped against Ymir’s urgent lips.

Ymir slid a hand into her pants, moving her underwear aside. The lack of build-up sent sharp pangs of arousal through Historia. Sometimes she really loved Ymir’s assertiveness. “Nothing special,” Ymir husked. “Just want you.”

Historia hummed softly. Ymir entered her gently, her haggard breath at Historia’s ear. Historia gripped onto her desperately and braced herself for every thrust, every brush of Ymir’s thumb over her sensitive flesh. Before long she felt herself nearing the cliff.

“I’m close,” she gasped out softly, hips moving in time with Ymir’s long, skilful fingers.

Ymir kissed her just underneath the jaw, then bit down on her skin. “Come for me, baby,” she purred.

That was all Historia needed, like always. Ymir’s sensual tone and utter devotion broke her apart. In their kitchen, ten minutes away from guests arriving, Historia rocked into Ymir’s hand and came with a cry. She slumped against Ymir panting and slick with sweat. Ymir kissed her gently on the forehead.

XxX

“Well, I feel better now,” Ymir drawled with a cocky smirk. “I think I can endure the day.”

Historia pulled away from her. Her face was pink and flushed, her blue eyes soft. She was panting, but she looked a little more relaxed. Ymir couldn’t resist leaning in and kissing her on the lips one more time. She softly removed her hand and then patted her thigh.

“The doorbell rang,” she informed her. “How about I get that while you clean up?”

Historia huffed. “Why do you always want a quickie when we’ve got people coming over?”

Ymir shrugged. “Maybe I just want _you_ coming over.”

Historia laughed suddenly. She gave Ymir a playful slap on the cheek, then hopped off on the counter, wobbled for a second, regained her balance, and headed down the hallway. She sent a short glance just before entering the bathroom, one that told Ymir she needed to watch her back later. Historia would have vengeance, and delicious vengeance it would be.

Ymir washed her hands at the sink and hurried to the front door, where someone had started mashing the doorbell over and over again. When she wrenched it open, she made sure to glare her displeasure. “Really?” she asked.

Sasha grinned like the shit she still was. “I thought maybe no one was home.”

“I told her not to,” Mikasa advised her, rolling her eyes. “But as you know, this one has the willpower of a child.”

Ymir snorted in laughter. “Come inside, you dorks. His’ was just finishing the snacks.”

Sasha and Mikasa stepped into the apartment. They hung their jackets over the couch and made their way out to the back patio. Ymir offered them drinks and they accepted, and once they all had a drink in hand, they congregated around the braai and started sharing conversation.

“So how is the job going?” Sasha asked. “I saw that post on Facebook last night.”

Ymir poked at the slowly burning coals. Wind washed by, blowing a plume of smoke at her face. She stepped away in time to avoid it. “Stressful, to be honest. I never expected to get the job, and now that I have, I’m kind of terrified.”

“Understandable,” Mikasa said. “I felt the same thing when I started with my law firm.”

Ymir hummed around a mouthful of beer. Before she could go on a long rant about her creepy new boss, the doorbell rang again. She excused herself to go and answer it and met Historia in the hallway. “Feeling loose and refreshed?” Ymir asked her, grinning.

Historia gave that dangerous smile that made Ymir’s entire body tingle. Just the sight of that smile made Ymir know just how much she was going to ache in the morning. But the good ache. The kind of ache that would put a smile on her face.

“I feel lovely, thank you for asking, Ymir.”

They clasped hands and opened the door together, revealing Mr and Mrs Reiss in elegant dress, and Ilse standing happily beside them. Ilse’s hair was cut short as well.

“There they are,” Ilse said with a grin. “My two favourite girls.”

Ymir felt happiness bubble up inside of her. She accepted a hug from Ilse, and when Ilse moved over to hug Historia, she accepted a warm hug from Mrs Reiss.

“It’s nice to see you again, Ymir,” she said. Her smile was small but it was there, and it was genuine.

“It’s always lovely to visit,” Mr Reiss agreed.

Ymir grinned and shook his hand. “Likewise, dad.”

His face creased in discomfort at the term. Ymir snickered to herself and ushered them in. They joined the others outside and Ymir followed Historia into the kitchen.

“You really love flustering them, don’t you?”

Ymir laughed. “It’s surprisingly easy to do. How come you never messed with them growing up? It’s hilarious.”

“I was a broken, lonely child, Ymir.”

Ymir hugged her close and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Well, you aren’t lonely anymore.”

Historia ran a hand through her hair. “All thanks to you. Could you take the snacks out to everyone?”

Ymir happily obliged. She left Historia in the kitchen and carried the tray of finger foods out to the back, placing it down on the large garden table. She was happy to see that everyone was chatting, even though Mr Reiss still looked very out of place and unsure. As much as Historia’s parents had evolved into slightly more sensitive people, they were still awkward in such warm social circles. Sasha was very easy to talk to, though, and she even eased Mrs Reiss into light conversation.

The doorbell rang again, but Ymir left Historia to tend to that while she checked on the braai. She held her hand out a few inches above the coals, satisfied when the heat made her pull away immediately. She placed the chicken on first and inhaled deeply when the scent of them hit her nose. Sasha appeared at her side, salivating.

“I am fucking hungry,” she groaned.

Ymir tapped her nose with a finger. “Control yourself, you animal.”

“That’s not what Mikasa says,” she joked, wiggling her brows.

Ymir laughed outright and wrapped an arm around Sasha’s shoulders. “I love you, Sash’, you know that? You make my life so much brighter.”

Sasha blushed brightly, but hugged her back. “You too dude. So glad I met you.”

Before the two of them could tear up, a squeal filled the air and Ymir whirled around. She quickly handed her braai tongs over to Sasha and dropped onto her knees in time to catch the child that had vaulted himself into the air, very sure that she would catch him.

“Thomas Braun-Springer, you are _not_ Spiderman and Auntie Ymir won’t always catch you,” Reiner scolded from the back door. Connie snickered beside him. They were holding hands, matching wedding rings on their fingers.

“But Aunty ‘Mir always catches me,” Thomas explained.

Ymir stood and gave the little boy kisses on his chubby cheeks. “Warn me next time, alright, T?”

Thomas giggled and nodded. “Roger that, Aunty ‘Mir!”

Ymir set him down gently. “Go over to your daddies for a bit, alright? I need to finish up here, then we can run around the yard. Does that sound good?”

Thomas’s big brown eyes opened wide in excitement. He nodded vigorously, then returned to his fathers with a huge grin on his face. Connie picked him up and kissed him on the forehead, and Reiner started fussing over his newly messy hair. Ymir watched them with a little grin of her own.

“I’m so happy for them,” Sasha commented. “It was really difficult adopting him, wasn’t it?”

Ymir turned back to the braai and turned the chicken over. “Yeah. I remember when Reiner came over, crying his eyes out because they’d taken Thomas back. Thank god Historia asked her parents for help. They love that kid.”

“We all do,” Sasha agreed. “I’m so jelly that they started a family before any of us.”

Ymir snorted. “Sasha, you have four dogs. _Four._ ”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

Thomas bounded over to Mikasa to show her a new toy he’d gotten. Ymir watched everyone with a smile. Sasha went over to Mikasa and joined in Thomas’s excitement. Ilse was talking to Mrs Reiss and Mr Reiss sat on a patio chair, nursing his drink and looking oddly relaxed.

Ymir scooted the chicken aside and put the boerewors on next. The coals sizzled when the juices of the meat dribbled down, and a wave of tasty smells wafted up into the air. Small arms wound around Ymir’s waist.

“How’s the meat going?” Historia asked.

Ymir’s chest warmed. She put an arm around Historia and kissed her temple. “It’s doing well. Just want to turn these over, then I can put the rest of the meat on. How about you?”

“Salad is done. I switched the TV on, by the way. They’re showing a rerun of last night’s game.”

Ymir took a sip of her drink. “Nanaba was amazing last night.”

“Oh yeah,” Historia agreed, snickering. “That thing she did with her tongue, mm.”

Ymir sputtered. She slapped Historia’s arm playfully. “Not like that, you meanie.”

Historia laughed. “I know, babe. It’s just fun messing with you.”

The doorbell rang again. “Could you take over for me? I’ll get the door.”

Historia accepted the tongs with a smile and started inspecting the chicken, turning them over when needed. Ymir made her way inside and to the door, her grin building and anticipation in her gut. When she pulled the door open, the two figures standing there quickly pulled apart. Ymir lifted a brow.

“Oh?” she drawled. “What a coincidence, arriving at the same time.” She leaned out and eyed the cars. “Or you came together? Wow.”

Nanaba cleared her throat, rubbing a hand over her suddenly red cheek. “Don’t be an ass, Ymir.”

A throat cleared. “Hello, Ymir,” Hitch greeted tightly. “You’re as insufferable as ever.”

Ymir narrowed her eyes. They glared at each other for a long moment. Nanaba grew increasingly uncomfortable, looking between them. Eventually Ymir broke out into a grin. Hitch cracked as well, and then they laughed and embraced.

“I’m glad you could make it, Hitch.”

“What, like I’d miss free food and booze?”

Ymir grinned. “Well, Nanaba’s game was last night, so we thought you’d skip out.”

Hitch sighed. She reached out and Ymir felt satisfied when Nanaba took her hand and intertwined their fingers. “Might as well stop denying it, right?”

“I knew it!” Ymir did a little dance that no doubt made her look like an idiot, but she was too happy to resist. “I totally fucking called it.”

Hitch and Nanaba had danced around each other for a long time following school. Ymir had been the first to notice it. Historia hadn’t believed her at first, but all it took was watching them closely to notice the glances and the touches.

“So, have you guys fucked yet?” Ymir asked.

Nanaba immediately punched her in the arm and brushed past her, pulling Hitch along with her. “You’re an ass!”

Ymir cackled. “So they tell me!”

She closed the door and led them to the back. Ymir didn’t say anything about their confession, though it only took a little time for Hitch to finally break and announce that she was officially seeing their country’s most popular national rugby player. Nanaba was still sore from her game, though, and it was fun to watch Hitch fuss over her. They made an oddly cute couple.

Everyone chatted enthusiastically as Ymir tended to the braai. More than once Sasha tried to snatch a piece of meat, but luckily Ymir was there to swat her hand away. Historia took over halfway to let Ymir play with Thomas in the yard. She and Connie played tag with him, and when Sasha joined the game went crazy. Thomas absolutely loved it, and when it was time for them to eat he had burned out most of his energy. Reiner thanked them for that.

After eating, Reiner set Thomas down for a nap in the lounge. Historia and Ymir cleared out all the dishes, then brought out fresh drinks for everyone. The backyard smelt heavily of braai meat and burning coals, and it was a scent that made Ymir feel at home and content. She sat down close to Historia and took her hand, the both of them simply enjoying the din of conversation around them. This was their friends, their family. Everything had started out rocky, but they were all so much stronger for it.

“I feel you thinking from here,” Historia commented softly.

Ymir smiled. “Just thinking that I’m really happy with where I am. I have you, I have them.” She sighed. “I never imagined I’d be here.” The scar on her face tingled, but it wasn’t all that unpleasant. She wondered if it had gone pink, since Historia had told her countless times that her scar was like a mood ring. That amused her most of the time, except for when she was angry.

“I love you, Ymir.” Historia's voice was hushed, but filled with intense emotion. “More than I can ever express.”

Ymir leaned against her. They kissed softly, hands connected. When they pulled away, Ymir felt like she was flying. “I love you too.”

She brushed her thumb over Historia’s wedding ring. On her own hand sat its twin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, Howl comes to a stunning end. I just want to express my thanks to each and every one of you for reading. Even if you didn't leave your thoughts, I still appreciate that you read this story to the end and hopefully enjoyed every moment of this. Howl was like a tidal wave and it hit me head on. I remember saying that I just wanted to write a long highschool au. I never meant to create Howl. I intended for normal teenage angst and the usual cliches found in your highschool aus. When the idea for Howl happened, I was gripped. I fell in love. I wrote around twenty chapters almost immediately. This is the first story I have been able to write and update so regularly, and honestly that has amazed me. I have honestly not loved a story as much as this one. So I hope that you enjoyed this ending. I look forward to the many more stories to come!


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